I was gonna make two, but that Producer got his day ruined pretty quickly, so looks like we're down to solving Angie's murder!

Who did it, anyway?

After a long day of investigation, it looks like you're unanimously settled on the armless wonder himself, @Hades!

...Well, enough of that stuff, he already confessed, you all know he's GUILTY. No use giving a standup routine, let's get the execution rolling! Iiiit's punishment time!

Hades is seated in front of a bar, Monokuma serving drinks behind it, dressed in a nice tuxedo. He glances at Hades, and pours him a glass of beer, placing it in front of him.

Hades eyes the glass hungrily, because it's been hours since his last drink. As condensation rolls down the smooth sides, he reaches out, only to realize he still doesn't have any hands. He attempts to pick up the glass between his stumps, and it slides helplessly out of his grip.

Monokuma pours him another, this time a glass of wine, and he still manages to royally fuck it up. Monokuma sighs and pours him a mug, and Hades slips his stump through the large handle, picking it up and taking a swig of that sweet, sweet alcohol.

As this final drink enters his system though, his body begins to violently shut itself down as his liver gives out on him. Convulsing and falling to the floor, Hades dies a painful death.

...

...

...

At the gates of Heaven, Hades attempts to enter, but gets refused entry by Atua, who is acting as a bouncer of sorts. Apparently, he's banned for all of eternity for something he did on the mortal plane.

Frustrated, Hades trudges back down to the Underworld.

His role was ULTIMATE ALCOHOLIC

Hope's Peak Acceptance Letter: Show

You are the Ultimate Alcoholic, accepted into Hope’s Peak almost entirely because you (used to) have the liver of a champion.

Because you’re so resilient to even your absurd alcohol consumption, you’ve found yourself immune to all poisons and even able to discern the tastes of poisons in food and drink, having “poisoned yourself” enough to know these things by now.

...That’s how it works right? Whatever, it’s a Killing Game.

While drunk, you keep your wits about you, and have extremely high pain tolerance, meaning you are hard to KO, but while sober, your head will pound and hurt like hell, disorienting you both mentally and physically. Luckily, you brought enough alcohol to last you two days, but after NIGHT 2, you must venture out and get your own, lest you suffer the pains of sobriety.

FORBIDDEN ACTION:Keep hydrated! You must drink water as well every time you consume alcohol.

The next Killing Phase will begin tomorrow, because I'm busy as SHIT tonight

can you open the damn gate for me now hades, it's still fucking locked

You know what I ultimately don't get about you humans? You treat death like it's the worst thing you'll ever experience, but it's far from it. Taxes are a pain in the ass, but you still have to deal with it eventually. Seeing your favorite celebrities die is a pain in the ass, but you still have to deal with it eventually. Yes, death is an inevitability, but sometimes, you just have to buck up and face the facts.



Personally, I find leaving the mortal realm to be an escape! Back there, you'd have so many deep ambitions and dreams, but they would all be shot down when you realize that dying one day is the only thing stopping you. But once you go through it, you'll discover that's just an uncomfortable memory! You wouldn't have some looming deadline to worry about, you wouldn't have any petty earthly desires to distract you from your ultimate prize! To put it simply, the afterlife is Acapulco times a hundred, the true paradise!



So there you have it. If any of you are in the blues and feeling glum, just give me a call at 666-666-6669. I'll make sure to set you up with the most divine of accommodations for your permanent vacation.



I'll be waiting.

why do these pics have hands in them smh