This post was last modified: Dec 28, 2018 at 1:59 PM by DrMinusWorld.

I walked in this morning and it appears one of you idiots forgot to lock the staff entrance last night. This guy was wandering around looking for some help here in the back. Now I'm not one to turn away a needy patient, especially one as confused as this. I'm not an expert on cats and I don't have the time to consolidate an answer from you all so we're going to handle him a little differently.

Bonus Patient

Can you trick a cat into thinking your a cat? I mean if you played cat noises and moved your mouth to the cat noises? Crazy question.?

My response:

Chase, you can convince a cat into thinking you are a cat, but it takes a lot of work and preparation. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help!

What I want you to do:
Take the version of the response in the post above yours (so the first reply would start with my post) and add, remove, or change one sentence. Now like I said, I'm no expert on cats. I'm hoping that you all can correct or elaborate on what I wrote. I'll be back to grab what you guys put together tomorrow morning.

LEMME ADD “YOU ALSO HAVE TO CONVINCE THE FELINE YOU HAVE NINE LIVES, SO TRY JUMPING OFF A BUILDING AND LANDING ON YOUR FEET!”

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! YOU ALSO HAVE TO CONVINCE THE FELINE YOU HAVE NINE LIVES, SO TRY JUMPING OFF A BUILDING AND LANDING ON YOUR FEET!

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. You can do this by rolling around in another cat's piss to the point where no one could possibly smell anything but it. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! YOU ALSO HAVE TO CONVINCE THE FELINE YOU HAVE NINE LIVES, SO TRY JUMPING OFF A BUILDING AND LANDING ON YOUR FEET!

This post was last modified: Dec 28, 2018 at 6:19 PM by Terezi Pyrope.

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. You can do this by rolling around in another cat's piss to the point where no one could possibly smell anything but it. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! YOU ALSO HAVE TO CONVINCE THE FELINE YOU HAVE NINE LIVES, SO WITH ALL THAT IN MIND I'D RECOMMEND YOU WEAR A FURSUIT FILLED WITH CAT SHIT AND JUMP OFF A BUILDING.

or if you want to not get banned

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. You can do this by rolling around in another cat's piss to the point where no one could possibly smell anything but it. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! With that in mind I would recommend wearing a fursuit filled with cat shit.

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. You can do this by rolling around in another cat's piss to the point where no one could possibly smell anything but it. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! With that in mind I would recommend wearing a fursuit filled with cat shit. It also doesn't hurt to purr everytime someone touches you to further convince the cat of your feline instincts, but do keep in mind that the cat shit will make the likelihood that you are touched very low.

I have posted this response:

Chase, cats are spiritually gifted creatures, and it will take a lot of work to trick their six senses. Cats have an excellent sense of smell so you must first mask your human scent. You can do this by rolling around in another cat's urine to the point where no one could possibly smell anything but it. Cats also have excellent vision so wearing items that help you look like a cat would definitely help! With that in mind I would recommend wearing a fursuit filled with cat feces. It also doesn't hurt to purr everytime someone touches you to further convince the cat of your feline instincts, but do keep in mind that the cat feces will make the likelihood that you are touched very low.

You may notice that I have changed "piss" and "shit" to the correct medical terminology, "urine" and "feces". Thank you for your continued help.