Hello again, I know you just finished the last wave of patients but there are even more. There is no time for rest. Today I will be trusting you lot with some people seeking help with mental health issues. Do keep in mind that these topics can be sensitive, so be nice if you can!

Patient 1

Who here has social phobia? Can you work?

Patient 2

How can I improve my memory?

Patient 3

Help I think my brother is horny ?
I know this is nasty but do y’all think he is ?horny So he gets on top of me while I’m on my phone out of random and puts one leg on top of me then starts to hug me closer to me like in a ******* position he even accidentally puts his thing in between me but with clothes on what does this mean ??

Patient 1: Sure. Just get a job that keeps human contact to a minimum. For example, you might become a professional diver, allowing you to spend all your time at the bottom of the sea, or you could become an arctic solo explorer. For best results, be abrasively rude to anyone you might have to interact with, so that they leave you alone and thus don't trigger your social anxiety.

Patient 2: Practice! Stop writing down anything, or taking any notes. Instead, force yourself to memorize everything. This way, you have to focus entirely on memory if you don't want to make crucial mistakes in your daily life. The pressure will increase your memory capacity and allow you to remember with much more clarity than you previously did.

Patient 3: I'm afraid it's a lethal case of horniness. Despite centuries of study by the most acclaimed minds in our field, we still have yet to discover any cure for horniness. The only way to stop your brother from growing hornier and hornier is swift euthanasia. I recommend suffocating him with a pillow the next time he sleeps. It's a better fate than the horrible life he will live as yet another victim of horny.

>Who here has social phobia? Can you work?

If I had social phobia I wouldn't be able to reply to this post. If I couldn't work I wouldn't be a doctor.

>How can I improve my memory?

What was the question, again?

>Help I think my brother is horny ?

There's only one solution. Get the sharpest scissors you can and prepare for castration, you had best hope the case isn't bad enough that it's started to become a full-on hydra as you have to chop all the penis heads off at the same time to slay that variation of horny.

>Help I think my brother is horny ?

>I know this is nasty but do y’all think he is ?horny So he gets on top of me while I’m on my phone out of random and puts one leg on top of me then starts to hug me closer to me like in a ******* position he even accidentally puts his thing in between me but with clothes on what does this mean ??

i'm afraid you're not dealing with your brother, but a devious ruse by an old god, likely zeus or loki. when horny, they enter the mortal world, concealing their true form through illusory magicks. try adorning yourself with symbols of other religions, like crucifixes, menorot or copies of battlefield earth. that should keep his powers at bay.

This post was last modified: Dec 30, 2018 at 7:40 AM by Skinny Penis.

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1: social phobia? man that shucks well i assume you wouldn't be able to work with a good quickie. Come to my house, i'll show ya how to be less sociophobic

2: you get a calendar and mark the days that's been passin yo', haven't touched mine in 5 months either. Anyway what was the question? gotta scroll up

3: he just want to build a legacy with you, it's all in good fun

hope that helps y'all, gotta go #BackToTheBus

1. OF COURSE I HAVE SOCIAL PHOBIA...SPECIFICALLY AROUND YOU AND YOU ALONE. WHENEVER YOU DECIDE TO PLAGUE US WITH YOUR PRESENCE, I’M NERVOUS TO MAKE ANY JOKES BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL TRY TO MAKE A LAME FOLLOW UP JOKE THAT BRINGS THE LAUGHING TO A HALT. I CAN’T WORK ON ANY CONVOLUTED PLAN BECAUSE YOU’LL COME BREATHING DOWN MY FUCKING NECK WITH A SMELL THAT IMPLIES YOU JUST RETURNED FROM YOUR DAILY TRIP TO THE USED CIGARETTE STORE AND OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO ASK “whatcha working on there, buddy ol pal?”! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SICK OF IT! THE ONLY WAY MY PHOBIA COULD BE CURED IS IF YOU’RE WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THIS GIANT DIRT BALL! THAT’S RIGHT, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, JIM! HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR BODY PILLOW COLLECTION!

2. FOR THOSE TIMES WHEN THE PARTY IN YOUR BRAIN IS FILLED UP WITH WAY TOO MANY MEMORIES (INCLUDING THAT REALLY EMBARRASSING MEMORY THAT ALWAYS DOUBLE DIPS), JUST FORCEFULLY SHOO THEM OUT BY HITTING YOURSELF REALLY HARD ON THE HEAD! WITH A ROCK, WITH A MINIFRIDGE, DOESN’T MATTER! THE PARTY WILL BE COMPLETELY EMPTY, AND YOU CAN START WORKING ON FILLING IT WITH COOLER GUESTS! AND MAYBE SOME BETTER MUSIC, PLAYING NOTHING BUT DEATH GRIPS CAN’T BE THAT GOOD FOR YOU!

HOLD THAT PHONE, DOC! IF YOU WANT TO POST MY ANSWERS FOR PUBLIC REVIEW, I’D RECOMMEND ONLY DOING IT WITH THE SECOND ANSWER IF YOU STILL WANT TO KEEP YOUR LIMBS IN THE MORNING! IF MEDICAL PERSONNEL FROM OUTSIDE THIS CIRCLE SEE ME THREATENING PATIENTS, EVEN IF THEY DESERVE IT, THEY’LL HAVE ME OUT OF A CAREER! HOW ELSE CAN I FILL THE MINDS OF THE IGNORANT WITH MY BLISSFUL AND DEFINITELY-NOT-DEADLY KNOWLEDGE?

@1. I don't, sorry. Yes I can work.

@2. Taking care of yourself in general is a good start, getting enough sleep and eating healthy I'm sure helps your brain help you. Writing things down and keeping a to-do list is a habit that has helped me tremendously with my memory and I hardly forget anything I need to do anymore- it's just a tough habit to build but you'll get there if you put the effort i.

@3. Yes, he is horny. Just remember, horny people have no rights. horny people are NOT protected under the constitution. if you are horny i WILL find you and then you will be sorry buster. unfollow me right fucking now of you are horny, have ever been horny, or ever will be horny. this is not a joke. please leave.

Here are the replies:

If I had social phobia I wouldn't be able to reply to this post. If I couldn't work I wouldn't be a doctor.

I do have some suggestions for you. Just get a job that keeps human contact to a minimum. For example, you might become a professional diver, allowing you to spend all your time at the bottom of the sea, or you could become an arctic solo explorer. For best results, be abrasively rude to anyone you might have to interact with, so that they leave you alone and thus don't trigger your social anxiety. For example, here is a good line you can use, "I assume you wouldn't be able to work with a good quickie. Come to my house, I'll show ya how to be less sociophobic."

I also consulted my grandmother, who happens to have social phobia. Here is her response, "OF COURSE I HAVE SOCIAL PHOBIA...SPECIFICALLY AROUND YOU AND YOU ALONE. WHENEVER YOU DECIDE TO PLAGUE US WITH YOUR PRESENCE, I’M NERVOUS TO MAKE ANY JOKES BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL TRY TO MAKE A LAME FOLLOW UP JOKE THAT BRINGS THE LAUGHING TO A HALT. I CAN’T WORK ON ANY CONVOLUTED PLAN BECAUSE YOU’LL COME BREATHING DOWN MY FUCKING NECK WITH A SMELL THAT IMPLIES YOU JUST RETURNED FROM YOUR DAILY TRIP TO THE USED CIGARETTE STORE AND OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO ASK “whatcha working on there, buddy ol pal?”! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SICK OF IT! THE ONLY WAY MY PHOBIA COULD BE CURED IS IF YOU’RE WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THIS GIANT DIRT BALL! THAT’S RIGHT, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, JIM! HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR BODY PILLOW COLLECTION!"

Hi Cristoforo!

Taking care of yourself in general is a good start, getting enough sleep and eating healthy I'm sure helps your brain help you. Writing things down and keeping a to-do list is a habit that has helped me tremendously with my memory and I hardly forget anything I need to do anymore- it's just a tough habit to build but you'll get there if you put the effort in. Getting a calendar and marking the days helps too.

If you want an alternative method, stop writing down anything, or taking any notes. Instead, force yourself to memorize everything. This way, you have to focus entirely on memory if you don't want to make crucial mistakes in your daily life. The pressure will increase your memory capacity and allow you to remember with much more clarity than you previously did.

Should all else fail, your brain might be filled up with too many memories (including that really embarrassing memory that always double dips), just forcefully shoo them out by hitting yourself really hard on the head. Use a rock, minifridge, it doesn't matter! The party will completely empty, and you can start working on filling it with cooler guests! And maybe some better music, playing nothing but Death Grips can't be that good for you! Now what was the question, again?

Aleixs, he just want to build a legacy with you, it's all in good fun.

I'm kidding, yes, he is horny. Just remember, horny people have no rights. horny people are NOT protected under the constitution. If you are horny I WILL find you and then you will be sorry buster. Unfollow me right now if you are horny, have ever been horny, or ever will be horny. This is not a joke. Please leave.

Despite centuries of study by the most acclaimed minds in our field, we still have yet to discover any cure for horniness. The only way to stop your brother from growing hornier and hornier is swift euthanasia. I recommend suffocating him with a pillow the next time he sleeps. It's a better fate than the horrible life he will live as yet another victim of horny. Many suspect that the cause is a devious ruse by an old god, likely Zeus or Loki. When horny, they enter the mortal world, concealing their true form through illusory magicks. Get the sharpest scissors you can and prepare for castration, you had best hope the case isn't bad enough that it's started to become a full-on hydra as you have to chop all the penis heads off at the same time to slay that variation of horny. Try adorning yourself with symbols of other religions, like crucifixes, menorot or copies of battlefield earth. That should keep his powers at bay.

Thank you for your continued assistance. Day 4 will begin soon.