Alright, alright, first of all I'm going to start by saying that DESPITE BEING A PLAZA, this specific place has stuff that kids would normally be playing in (in fact, there was a dad with his daughter playing but I didn't want to bother nor look like a creep, so I politely waited for them to stop playing in order to take the pictures.)

So... PLAZA LA NACIÓN. This, specifically THIS place is one that I see pretty much every single day I go out for a walk. Need to head to the doctor? It's there, need to head to school to see if my mom's there? it's there. I literally can't escape this place, and for years it's been always the same way.

BUT... there's a thing about all that. I've never really STOPPED to inspect it. Yeah, I've sat on one of the benches at times, yeah, I've tried the slide. (We'll get onto that.)

The square's around the size of five to six buildings placed right next to each other, and you see kids literally every day unless you go at either a crazy early time or a crazy dark time, your choice. Also, avoid this place at all costs during thunderstorms or rains... I should know.

Let's get onto it.

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THE SLIDE



Look there's SO many things wrong here... first of all, why is there BLOOD at the start and end of the slide? Whose knees were destroyed by this ruiner of fun, destroyer of people's butts? Not just that, but the metal on it appeared to be deteriorated. My bet is that this thing's AGES old, like, from the year of 2004 at least.

And second of all... the colors are terrible. But that's not what I'm aiming for here, remember how I said earlier that I tried this slide at least once? Well yeah, it's literally the one thing I remember the most from when I was a kid (this thing's THAT old.)

Obviously it was in a better shape back then, but from the looks of the picture alone, I can probably tell that a single slide from an old man by the ages of 20 and above would probably kill them. Maybe that's the cause of the blood.

It's not like it was all that great when I was a kid either. Since ALL of the ground is made out of dirt and rocks, the fall's pretty much RNG. You either succeed and get your legs together before the end or surrender.

--- STATUS: Bad. ---

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SUBE Y BAJA



I don't really have much to say about this one despite the fact that it's barely used by literally anyone. I think the reason behind that is because this thing's too rough on your ass (yeah, I'm serious). The bar feels rusty and old, although I don't think a single hand can do justice for how good or bad this is. I could use a friend right about now.

Like the previous one, the colors are all messed up. Not that I mind though, since it seems to be the scheme around this area.

Is it usable though? If you're a kid, sure. If you're a guy with your own kid (or somebody else's I dunno), then probably not.

--- STATUS: Okay. ---

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WHEEL



Yeah, we don't have that. If your kids like to climb, show them this.

--- STATUS: The wheel's not even here. ---

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CLIMBING POLE




I... really tried to understand this one. I tried to understand it, but it gets worse whenever I look back at it.

I get where they were trying to come from with this one at least. You either choose left or right to climb up, but... how? When does the climbing end? Why is this safe for the kids out there? Really. Look at this thing.

Is it usable though? I... I guess... yeah... I'm just unsure as to how you climb it. A kid would probably figure it out though.

--- STATUS: Okay. ---

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CLIMBING STAIRS... OR WHATEVER



Great for kids, but sadly unusable for tall boys like me. Believe it or not, this is one of the things I see the kids hanging around the most... well, besides one of the things that's coming up next. If I were to rank it on popularity based on this square, I'd give it a 3.

As for the thing itself... yeah, I think there's nothing wrong with it really. If you're tall like me, fuck you I guess (no hard feelings, this thing's the one saying it not me.)

--- STATUS: Good! ---

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SPINNER



This is one of the things I saw that dad playing on with his daughter. They were going pretty fast.

Needless to say, I think they were enjoying it. That light green flooring fucks me up though, so the score's lowered by one point.

Normally... I see spinners with seats, but I've also seen some that require you to be standing and firmly grasping the bars with a tight grip. Honestly? I think it looks pretty fun if you got like a group of friends who want to throw themselves onto the abyss by going at extreme speeds. It's not rusty at all either.

--- STATUS: Good! ---

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SOCCER




This thing... this goddamn thing.

It's everywhere. In ANY plaza you go to in this city... this thing will be here. The worst part?! Kids love it! They absolutely adore playing here despite the fact that the ropes on this thing look AWFUL and get your ball or balls trapped inside as soon as a score's goaled.

Jesus christ. I like soccer, but at least make the net a bit better. I wouldn't mind this if it even HAD a proper ground, instead of just dirt and rocks that kick your ass every time you fall on your own face.
(also, it's the most popular one, you should've seen it coming.)

--- STATUS: The kids love it, even though it honestly sucks ass. ---

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SWING & SWING JR.




They're swings! Who doesn't love swings?

Even as an adult, I can safely say that sitting your ass here and swinging frontwards and backwards is pretty chill. Unless you're tall, in which case, fuck you slightly.

The dad that was playing with his daughter was also swinging himself next to his daughter. That was a sweet view, though they walked away as soon as I came in to take a picture. I wonder why? I should've sat down next to them and talked about life.

I'm not a creep, they just happened to be leaving as soon as I approached okay.

Oh! And about the Swing Jr. as I call it... it's the same thing, but for babies. Safety first! Don't want to drop the baby. Unless you want to. Don't.

--- STATUS: Great! ---

Also, sorry, forgot to take a proper picture of this thing.



it's alright. It's like when you go up the stairs but forget something, so you go back down. Honestly, just use it to sit down at the top.

-----------------------------

And that's it for the normal stuff! Now let's get onto the OTHER things that this plaza has to offer.



First of all, we have these... things... does anybody know what they're for?



I really want to say it's for trash... but I'd be lying if I said that's the case, because I really don't know.




THIS is for trash though. And it's divided by plastics and other things too! How thoughtful.

But... there's one thing that's caught my eye. All of my attention.

Something that I actually... became really curious about.

This.



This table... is pretty nice, isn't it?

Except... it has a lot of writings on it.



It has names... numbers. Threats against the system itself. Of course, they're in Spanish... but...



IF THAT WERE THE CASE, THEN EXPLAIN THIS! Afrika Korps? Fuck that shit. EXPLAIN THAT. I sure can't.

There's also stuff like "aguante el porno (porn's great)", Facundo, Tiago, common names. Someone loves their MoM though, d'aww. Except WRONG because that's not their mom, that's Mono and Mona... died at 28-06-2019 FROM THE LOOKS OF IT... but if that were the case, who would've written down the date of death itself? Really makes you think, HUH? At the right, you can see another number.

14-02-18. Valentine's day. Someone died here for sure.



On this side we can see even more numbers, larger ones that aren't dates themselves... but specific numbers. More-so 2974257439 and 2974290257... are they phone numbers? Do they want us to call the dead? Speak, Afrika Korps! (Fuck that shit.)

This table's like a death note, and the rest of the names are from fools who think they can get away with their crimes. (I'm looking at you, MoM.)

Upon further inspection, I've noticed two things that have called my attention even more.




1: "You ruin everything. Rot."
2: probably afrika korps

There must've been a killer around this area.

Judging by all this... I will give out my final results.

THE VEREDICT: 6 / 10.

It's honestly passable. If you take out the wheel (or at least the hang of it...), fix the slide and soccer net... it could honestly be more decent. It has things that make it a bit better, such as having places to sit on to spend your time with friends and family, so unless you're alone, chances are you're not going to have that much of a bad time.

I was torn between giving this place a 4 rather than a 6... but then I felt a bit generous, so I changed that. To whoever stole it, please bring back the wheel.

I have one more thing though, this is the only review of the place out there.



Translation:
"They've recently added new urban furniture like new games for kids, trash cans, concrete bollards (so this is what they were!) and also tables and benches over the grass. The downside is that the small soccer field is made out of dirt and out of level, the grass doesn't have the best of cares and it usually gets flodded by rain."

Thank you Ivan, very cool.

I honestly couldn't agree more with the soccer field part, that shit sucks. If they do end up fixing the soccer field, this review will prompty change from 6 / 10 to 7 / 10.

Until then, I will continue to pass by this Plaza... in hopes that nobody writes down my name at the table.

the climbing pole owns
i would just circle that thing forever

fuck this is a good review. i really enjoyed the formatting and sheer investigative detail. thank you very much black very cool

>Username means black

>Performs daytime review in contrast to FWD's nighttime reviews

What the fuck