This post was last modified: Aug 23, 2020 at 4:17 AM by John Wick's Cat.

Hohoho! Hehehe! Hahaha!

Hello, everyone! It is I... John Wick's... dog. (Right, fuck, I'm in the dogs' account still.)

So! I deeply apologize for my shitty, lackluster, awful, terrible thread of yesterday... today I come to bring you a much more entertaining, much better type of content!

There's been quite the troubles surrounding this garrison... and a couple few major dissapointments as well. (I'm looking at you, ban boy.)

But! This garrison does not require as much effort as you may think... (Wait, that's a lie.

The pleasure of bringing you such elegant, perfect content is all up to me! When you stop to think about it, the energy automatically comes to you...

Now, let's have a look here... mhmm... mmm... we have around 30 dogs left in this stupid tier list. Y'see, I was going to make it -various- tier lists... this website here, this website there... but this specific one's so lackluster, so empty, that I just... have to help it.

Regardless! You can see it here: https://dogtails.dogwatch.com/2019/07/30...dog-names/ <--

Now sit your butt on that chair and watch.

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Gollie – Golden Retriever and Collie





(Also called the Golden Collie.)

I've said this multiple times and I'll say it again: The Golden Retrievers are not always Golden. This is shown very clearly by the Gollie, whose hair varies a lot between Beige and Black.

Regardless... the Gollie is about as good as you'd expect. They're best suited for houses with children, big families. Sure, you can keep it as a lone man doing nothing but playing games... but then you wouldn't have the best of experiences with this dog, you lazy bum.



Like most dogs (except the Chihuahua), their personality is pretty nice. It's your, sweet dog that loves you if you treat it well and... well, still loves you even if you don't treat it well. They're obedient and intelligent, full of energy, and... god, that's too positive.

Their appearance will definitely ressemble more a Collie's than a Golden Retriever's, but the color most definitely will aim for the latter.

My rating? Very good. I hate it when they have no negative traits.

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Havapoo – Havanese and Poodle



Have-a-poo.

The Havapoo is a pretty active dog, and also a dog that loves you and only you. It'll probably be chill as long as it goes out on walks and a few dog treats.

The fur on these dogs is hypoallergenic as well, making it perfect in case you're... well, allergic to dogs.



They're very small, a trait you can definitely put the blame on the Havanese for... because the Poodles, unlike the Havanese, can actually be medium or large-sized.

Their fur is also something that might not always be crazy fluffy, yet still has a chance to be extra picante in that sense. Be wary, however, that these dogs may become far too attached to you, just like you to them... all they want is to drag you in, to cuddle, to snack together... how unpleasant.

My rating? Very good. The dog is good once more, who could've seen this coming?



Oh yeah, they can also have a pretty funky color scheme in case they have fluffy fur.

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Horgi – Siberian Husky and Corgi



Please don't mispell the name.

The Horgi... at first glance, I thought this breed might be a little bit cursed. Don't get me wrong! Huskies and Corgies are both great, yet... seeing a Small Husky, or rather a Siberian Corgi... is so strange.

Their personality is nothing bad, and their appearance is very clearly something that any Husky lover would most definitely like... even more considering that the Horgi does not have the colors of a Corgi in the slightest, and instead opts to have the dominance in colors of the Husky.



However... this one does have a major drawback, something that I cannot gloss over.

They can inherit some awful health issues in terms of physique, things such as juvenile cataracts, corneal dystrophy, canine glaucoma and progresive retinal atrophy from the Husky, while some fall damage could have a huge impact due to the Corgi's low height and large width as well.

...but all that's just being a bit too paranoid, the dog'll be fine.

My rating? Very Good. It's pretty nice, health issues aside.

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Jack-A-Bee – Jack Russell Terrier and Beagle



Bee...?

It's... not that interesting at all.

It's like a Beagle with... uh.



Don't get me wrong, it looks alright... it's just...

It's really not all that different. Personality's about the same, appearance's about the same... seriously.

My rating? Could be better. It's just boring.

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Jack-A-Ranian – Jack Russell Terrier and Pomeranian



Here's a more interesting breed.

Unlike the Jack-a-Bee, you can actually tell that the Jack-a-Ranian's got more diversity and differences between both of the breeds. The Jack-a-Ranian's appearance immediately lacks the roundiness that the Pomeranian has, and instead has a more common body.

Most of the time, the Pomeranian won't really play a big role in this breed besides adding some of its personality and charm, the Jack Russell does most of the work by having the more dominant appearance between the two.



It's pretty much a normal dog, there's nothing out of the ordinary in this one, nothing at all.

My rating? Good. Not round enough.

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Labbe – Labrador Retriever and Beagle



But the name 'Labeagle' is better.

It's worth noting that the Beagle's got some cool traits to it, besides its popular looks, such as a good sense of smell and a good attitude towards most humans and animals, reminds me of that one time my neighbor had a backyard full of Beagles, and the Beagles would make more puppies by fucking each other all the time. That backyard was also a shitfest, shittiest backyard I had ever seen alright.

Anyway, those traits do apply to the Labbe, but the looks will most definitely still ressemble the Golden Retriever in every single way... except the ears, those are still something that the Beagle tends to add in most of its breeds.



Even then, it's still better than the Jack-a-Bee, and has at least something interesting to it. As a matter of fact, the Beagle CAN have the dominant appearance in this breed, but its body will still ressemble a Golden Retriever's either way.

Not that it's a bad thing, of course.

My rating? Good. Take that, Bee.

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Labradoodle – Labrador Retriever and Poodle



...this feels familiar, somehow.

The creator of this breed, and the genius who had the idea of crossing two completely different types of dogs, actually does hate this breed. He calls people crazy for loving this mix, and even goes as far as to call it a 'Frankenstein Monster'.

And in a way... he's right. While this man did it for a specific purpose, which was to help a blind woman on Hawaii, everyone afterwards only mixed the Poodle and the Retriever solely for purposes that relate to money and fame, which is where his hatred towards the breed comes from. Even then, the Labradoodle can only be hypoallergenic around a third of its life in.

But I don't care about this.



The Labradoodle looks pretty good, is pretty good, and doesn't look unpleasant in the slightest. The problem is that this type of dog, just like the Husky and Corgi, tend to have some medical issues that lead onto pretty bad stuff later on.

It's a pretty cozy mix though, can you really hate this...? Well, if you're allergic to dogs, I can take the answer for a yes.

My rating? Good. Curly.

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Lhaffon – Brussels Griffon and Lhasa Apso



Fuck, and for once I thought we wouldn't get any cursed breeds.

Alright, first of all, have you ever heard of either of those two breeds? Who the fuck is the Brussel Griffon, who the fuck is the Lhasa Apso? Let me look them up.

Holy fucking SHIT. Look up the first one if you haven't, it's nutty.

Anyway... this is... -a- breed.



Do not put these guys next to kids, they're known to have a temper if they're too annoyed.

Considering what the Brussel Griffon's like, it's an amusement that this dog's not got too many traits from it... maybe the teeth will look a bit weird, but that's about it, really.

Jesus, I'm going to tell the dog to put the Brussel Griffon on the voting list.

My rating? Could be worse. Seriously, it could be MUCH worse.

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Morkie – Maltese and Yorkshire Terrier



Better being a Morkie than a Yorkie.

As you may already know, the Maltese is a dog with a LOT of hair. Because of this, pairing this type of dog with any other dog causes it to have even -more- hair, which results in a dog with enough hair to have more of it, with a much less messy pattern.

Now, you may be thinking that these dogs look pretty similar to each other... and the answer to that is yes! They are pretty similar!

However, the Maltaise is known for having one color, and one color only. White.

And the Yorkshire Terrier is known for having two colors, and two colors only. Black and brown.



What do you get when you mix both, then? That's right! Variety.

So, while there won't be much change to the appearance besides more hair, the colors will certainly give out a better feel than having either of the original breeds by their own, specially if you don't like neither of the breeds' hair to grow too long.

My rating? Good. It's like having either dog, but with more skins unlocked.

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Muggin – Pug and Miniature Pinscher



...we're going to end this on a bad note, aren't we?

Listen... I know the Pinscher is not a Chihuahua, but it's dangerously close in appearance.

AT LEAST I DO RECOGNIZE THAT... its personality is probably not as bad. Probably.

But anyway! The Muggin's got a kickass name, yet its appearance might just be cursed. Like, let's stop focusing on their personalities for once and just look at them for a little minute, it's a Pug on a large body... and when it's not, it's a Chihuahua with Pug traits...

What the fuck do you do here?



It might just be cursed, just might. A little tiny bit.

At least... it's not the Chihuahua, so the personality immediately becomes tolerable.

My rating? Could be worse. It's not a Chihuahua.

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Finally... god, why do I put so much fucking effort into writing about DOGS... at least watching Ghost Stories while I was doing it made the experience better. That, and thinking about some... wait, what was I thinking of?

Ugh, whatever. It's all up to the dog from now on, whatever that may sound like...

...I'll still be the one writing about these things though, there's no way a fucking dog that types in lowercase only can write four fucking hours worth of content.

Anyway, nap time.

Bye-bye.

wow this is the list of cursed breeds if i ever saw one. i hate at least half of these for existing. especially the muggin. please do not crossbreed pugs.

horgis are rad though what the fuck. a shame about the health issues cause damn. that second picture's an ideal dog look if i ever saw one.

wow this is the list of cursed breeds if i ever saw one. i hate at least half of these for existing. especially the muggin. please do not crossbreed pugs.

horgis are rad though what the fuck. a shame about the health issues cause damn. that second picture's an ideal dog look if i ever saw one.

You are correct, crossbreeding Pugs is a crime against nature.

Ramping up the Horgi to Very Good.

In this case I may say one of the healthiest dog ever is Lagotto Romagnolo, because it's purebred as a rule. Anyway, it does not cause allergies and looks really nice. They are very active and I'm in love with this breed.