This post was last modified: Apr 10, 2021 at 7:32 AM by n̷̨̘͖͗̊͜ò̴̟̜̲̲̞͈͚̖̲̽̈́́͐͛́̏̋̈́̑͐̈́.

as soon as i got to the forest area of chrono trigger i knew i had it all fucking figured out.

i really sat there and realized that there is a destiny beyond what you see with your own eyes. let's say one minute you consciously decide "yes i decide to be a piece of shit and jerk off to amy rose all day" but what about your future you? will future you approve of this? then take into consideration is future you going to feel proud of you walking like newgrounds stick man until you change your boxers? what can future you do to improve and be more chrono trigger like? i've created the perfect guide to fuck bitches while still comtemplating your existence in this life

step 1. kill yourself.

kill the old u that decided to jerk off to amy rose. when youre redpilled you realize both anime fans and furries are very very dumb. they fight each other about whose hornier but both are nerds who jerk off to pieces of paper. what does that mean to you? everything. kill that part of your identity by jerking off one last time to your favorite hottest pic but before you do you need to realize that this will never exist. it is the disease of more. you get the idea in your mind....."wait...............there has to be a better picture/vid right?" it is a lie. there is no better picture. there is no vid. there is nothing. it's just your mind. your mind is so cooped up on dopamine you're already rationalizing your next hit.

slow down.

this is it.

once you have that done we can proceed to the next step.

step 2. blocking every single jordan peterson video

block every single video from that cuckhold. "clean your room" clean these fucking nuts bro. there are two people you need to watch especially if youre a woman. 1. alpha male strategies 2. this video from 2009
literally get rid of every single other youtube video/app. it's useless.

step 3. install workout app/calorite counter.
really if you're a woman then you should look like a fairy tail character. you should be able to solve this


now don't be unconfident. boobs and ass arent important though you should have one or the other. it's confidence. no one wants a down on herself bitch not even the loser online discord harem MC type character. ppl like confidence. why do you think genki tomboys are so popular rn. it's because men want the benefits of having sex with someone with all the traits the homies have but its not gay. so just get confident. what's the best way to do this? work out.

a basic work out for women would be squats + push ups + crunches + planks + bicycles + planks.
do 50 sets of one of these 4 days straight every week. then every 2 weeks add a work out. eventually you'll have a full routine [ youll know which ones you can handle/swap out and which ones you cant] eventually you'll have your fairy tail body and this is how you will get the bitches.


if you are a man
it's pretty much the same. you want to look liek a fairy tail character.


now the way to achieve this natty is to both drink the shitload of water.
watch your sodium intake [ bread has a lot of this. don't fall for the trap.]
eat fruits / veggies. especially veggies
and do the shitload of working out.
for men it's a little more basic
push ups + sit ups + pull ups + squats + 30min jog every single day except 2 days.
it's very lit.

so that's how you destroy your previous self and get your dream body now on to step 3.


step 3 getting the bitches

get tinder.
put some good pictures up; only use one pic showing off your body.
put a nice two sentence bio.
use an emoji
use a drake song.

step 4 gaining a personality

now the hardest part the people dont understand is the personality part.

they should have 3 hobbies or interest that arent

1. posting on discord/forums
2. anime
3. games

i recommend cooking, fishing and building gundams. that's very lit. alternatively you can try saying you do art but it doesnt really matter as long as it isnt any of those 3.


and now finally step 4


step 4 finish chrono trigger
this game literally spells out the heroes journey in real time and man or woman you are a cuck and a bitch if youve never played or finished it

ty so much

Okay everyone. Now that Zelma is done shitposting for the night, here's the real strat to min/maxing your dopamine long-term for your entire playthrough of being alive.

Step one. Don't kill yourself. Let yourself die c:

Life is possibility. The longer you live, the more of those possibilities you experience. For good or bad, those experiences shape you. These things happen naturally, you change as you learn more about the world, and the world is always changing, so you never stop learning about it. Every time your experiences shape you, your old self is dead, and a new one, maybe only slightly new or very new, is born. That's okay. You might not be able to go back, maybe you don't like this new you, you can still go forward. Another you is born tomorrow. Keep growing. Find the you you want to be. Keep going. Give it time.

That was Zelma's step four. It's Amoeba's step one, but it's also kinda a step zero, or something to keep in mind as you continue the playthrough. It starts with you, only you, but that's only how it starts.

Step two. Maximizing your happiness.

Find what makes you happy. Not everyone wants sex. Not everyone wants the same kind of relationships. That's okay. We gotta figure that out for ourselves. What makes you happy, and what keeps you happy. There's things we can do to make us feel better now, and things that will make us feel better later. Be mindful of the long-term. Weigh your choices.

Don't impede on the happiness and wellness of others. This is a self-destructive path. Say you enjoy something that hurting others, how does that affect you in the longer term? Maybe you cause others distress for personal enjoyment. That affects you and your world too. You hurt someone, and they change. They are now a different person because of that experience. It could affect future interactions with others, and it could affect interactions with you. We talk to each other, communicate our pain. Others will see this pain, and try to meet it with varying forces in strength and form. You could end up finding others thinking less of you for the hurt you caused another. You could make that hurt person into a worse version of themselves, that end up harming you or things you care about in turn.

I guess my point here is that you should always be mindful of repercussions. Cause and effect. What happens if I take this action? What could come of it?
I do it all the time. I'll probably reread this wondering if I should hit the post button for like an hour after typing it out. Just like a lot of messages I send or almost send on Discord c:

...what? That's my social anxiety?

Step three. Health is wellness.

Think of it this way; there are things that can give you the little bits of joy now like candy. It gives you an up, brings you a little higher on the dopamine. Avoid trying to abuse these things though. It brings you down lower later as a drawback. You wanna keep it in balance. Treat yourself, but don't abuse the treats, or you'll end up abusing yourself.

Uh, anyway, health. Fitness. You gotta look after yourself. How do you do that? Exercise? Sure. Diet? Mhm. Look like a Fairy Tail character? Uhhhhhh...



Look, no one really looks like that naturally. Yeah, if you have an idea of how you want to look you can go about moving in that direction in a healthy way, but you gotta stay realistic. You can't expect to look perfectly how you want. No one looks perfectly how they want. If anyone says they're perfect the way they are, they're lying. To you, to themselves. No one can ever feel perfect. It's something you always work towards, as imperfect beings. Maybe you reach your goals, you're gonna think another way eventually. Your tastes change just as the cells of your body get replaced, continually. Think of how to be the best you you can be. Strive for it. Don't dive for it. Stay healthy. Be happy with what you have. All traits have their ups and downs. Big boobs are heavy to carry around all day every day, and they get in the way. Little boobs? Not as fetishized, but way more manageable. Be happy with where you can go, and what you can achieve for yourself. It's more than you think, but less than you'd hope. And that's okay.

"Ugh, I look to weak and feminine, and not like Natsu at all!"


Not girl wants a buff dude! Every girl wants a guy! Not every guy needs a woman with massive boobers! Personality, compatibility is often higher on the list, especially for long term relationships.

Step four. Don't use tinder.

Like, seriously, probably just don't I'm pretty sure that's mainly for short-term, or hook ups. Unless that's what you're looking for, try something else. Different areas will give you different results on your apps.

Are you happy fapping to anime? Like, in the privacy of your own home and the characters portrayed are legal age? Being an e-girl? A simp? A furry? Probably nothing wrong with that. You're not hurting anyone else. Just like, make sure you're doing stuff a healthy amount and not breaking any laws.

Or I guess you can take Zelma's advice. My fellow One Piece brother who got defensive when I questioned the validity of him claiming to be a furry, gay, poly cuck a week ago, and now is posting about how you gotta redpill the anime fan and furry coomer away.


idk why I wrote this. I thought it'd be funny, but I don't really do comedy.

truly transcendent thread. pretty much opened my third eye
all my life i thought the way to own ppl was biting sarcasm and seinfeld references but amoeba just annihilated zelma like that one robot boss from chrono trigger shooting her fucking laser beam and she did it with absolute sincerity

Okay everyone. Now that Zelma is done shitposting for the night, here's the real strat to min/maxing your dopamine long-term for your entire playthrough of being alive.

Step one. Don't kill yourself. Let yourself die c:

Life is possibility. The longer you live, the more of those possibilities you experience. For good or bad, those experiences shape you. These things happen naturally, you change as you learn more about the world, and the world is always changing, so you never stop learning about it. Every time your experiences shape you, your old self is dead, and a new one, maybe only slightly new or very new, is born. That's okay. You might not be able to go back, maybe you don't like this new you, you can still go forward. Another you is born tomorrow. Keep growing. Find the you you want to be. Keep going. Give it time.

That was Zelma's step four. It's Amoeba's step one, but it's also kinda a step zero, or something to keep in mind as you continue the playthrough. It starts with you, only you, but that's only how it starts.

Step two. Maximizing your happiness.

Find what makes you happy. Not everyone wants sex. Not everyone wants the same kind of relationships. That's okay. We gotta figure that out for ourselves. What makes you happy, and what keeps you happy. There's things we can do to make us feel better now, and things that will make us feel better later. Be mindful of the long-term. Weigh your choices.

Don't impede on the happiness and wellness of others. This is a self-destructive path. Say you enjoy something that hurting others, how does that affect you in the longer term? Maybe you cause others distress for personal enjoyment. That affects you and your world too. You hurt someone, and they change. They are now a different person because of that experience. It could affect future interactions with others, and it could affect interactions with you. We talk to each other, communicate our pain. Others will see this pain, and try to meet it with varying forces in strength and form. You could end up finding others thinking less of you for the hurt you caused another. You could make that hurt person into a worse version of themselves, that end up harming you or things you care about in turn.

I guess my point here is that you should always be mindful of repercussions. Cause and effect. What happens if I take this action? What could come of it?
I do it all the time. I'll probably reread this wondering if I should hit the post button for like an hour after typing it out. Just like a lot of messages I send or almost send on Discord c:

...what? That's my social anxiety?

Step three. Health is wellness.

Think of it this way; there are things that can give you the little bits of joy now like candy. It gives you an up, brings you a little higher on the dopamine. Avoid trying to abuse these things though. It brings you down lower later as a drawback. You wanna keep it in balance. Treat yourself, but don't abuse the treats, or you'll end up abusing yourself.

Uh, anyway, health. Fitness. You gotta look after yourself. How do you do that? Exercise? Sure. Diet? Mhm. Look like a Fairy Tail character? Uhhhhhh...



Look, no one really looks like that naturally. Yeah, if you have an idea of how you want to look you can go about moving in that direction in a healthy way, but you gotta stay realistic. You can't expect to look perfectly how you want. No one looks perfectly how they want. If anyone says they're perfect the way they are, they're lying. To you, to themselves. No one can ever feel perfect. It's something you always work towards, as imperfect beings. Maybe you reach your goals, you're gonna think another way eventually. Your tastes change just as the cells of your body get replaced, continually. Think of how to be the best you you can be. Strive for it. Don't dive for it. Stay healthy. Be happy with what you have. All traits have their ups and downs. Big boobs are heavy to carry around all day every day, and they get in the way. Little boobs? Not as fetishized, but way more manageable. Be happy with where you can go, and what you can achieve for yourself. It's more than you think, but less than you'd hope. And that's okay.

"Ugh, I look to weak and feminine, and not like Natsu at all!"


Not girl wants a buff dude! Every girl wants a guy! Not every guy needs a woman with massive boobers! Personality, compatibility is often higher on the list, especially for long term relationships.

Step four. Don't use tinder.

Like, seriously, probably just don't I'm pretty sure that's mainly for short-term, or hook ups. Unless that's what you're looking for, try something else. Different areas will give you different results on your apps.

Are you happy fapping to anime? Like, in the privacy of your own home and the characters portrayed are legal age? Being an e-girl? A simp? A furry? Probably nothing wrong with that. You're not hurting anyone else. Just like, make sure you're doing stuff a healthy amount and not breaking any laws.

Or I guess you can take Zelma's advice. My fellow One Piece brother who got defensive when I questioned the validity of him claiming to be a furry, gay, poly cuck a week ago, and now is posting about how you gotta redpill the anime fan and furry coomer away.


idk why I wrote this. I thought it'd be funny, but I don't really do comedy.

i personally think telling people to not look like fairy tail characters because it's unrealistic is massive cope. anything is achievable if you put in the work and strive for it. in a way we are saying the same thing but at the same time not. if you look up to an anime characters physique you are already accepting that your goal body may never be achieved but you achieve something close to that you'll be happy and from there you can mold yourself and become your own fairy tail. it is meant to be a place holder for when you gain confidence and say "hey even if this is unrealistic i still came this amount close to my goal, now lets see what else i can do/improve on"

you don't have to be buff or have huge boobs/ass but who is going to turn down a girl/guy who works on themselves/cares about their physique. the hunchback of notre dame looking nerd who sits with terrible posture at the computer has no chance against fairy tal wannabe #3 as long as his/her personality is good as well. the inside and outside both count. don't listen to disney cucks who tell you the inside is all that matters.

fapping to anything is never ok. being a simp is never ok. e-girls are allowed but only if they're cosplaying an anime character i like or ravan from teen titans. furry friends are also fine unless they fap or diss anime. then they can go to hell as well. the only thing you should be focused on is improving. if you want to engage in masturbation pick up "7 habits of successful people" by old white man who's name i forget. it's a 6/10 book. i listened to the audio though.

finally, i was never defensive. i was dogpiled over people feeling insecure that i was accepting myself and my ways. if i say i'm a purple haired shonen protag no one asks me for proof but if i'm a furry gay poly cuck i need receipts? this is probably the weakest part of the post because not only was i never mad i also havent thought about that until rn.

overall 7/10 post. i like the softer approach but that last bit really brought it down by -2 points and you get -1 for not taking the fairy tail pill. however you're still a one piece nakama so ranking your post below a 7 would be unfair.