RATED E for Erase your fucking account.

NINTENDORK DISCLAIMER: If you don't want to read any of this unrelated bullshit, fuck if I care.

BASED ON A REAL STORY, CAUSE OF THE DISSAPEARANCE OF TURB'S MOM


Published by: Furaffinity.com
In association with: deviantART.net
Made by: Fanficmaker.com
Created and directed by: yourmom.gay

I'm Travis. Travis Touchdown. This is me, my story, drill that on your heads before you get an aneurysm after reading this. My task is simple: Kill as many fuckers present that shows up on the spot as quickly as possible and reach onto my real target. Some days ago, the slut I have as a boss called in saying that there was a spot available in the ranking list shortly after I had signed up, and we even had a long, unfunny and unimportant conversation that basically wasted my time.

But anyway, that's not the point here. What matters here is that it was time for me to shine, to hop back into what I loved doing most.

Killing anybody who stands in my way.



So of course, I grab the note from my mail and follow the coordinates to see where the fuck I needed to go for all this shit, getting out of my bike I notice a huge shapeless mall in front of me. No guards, no idiots with guns, easy task.

As soon as I approach it...

"What the fuck? It's locked! Well, whatever, it's no match for my beam katana!"

But of course, just like in any bullshit videogame cutscene, the shit was jammed. So I looked around the thing and it was nothing but aimlessly running in circles, no entrance, no windows, nothing that could really get me in there. That front door was the only way to enter and to exit. After some waiting, some bitch with drills for a hair showed up behind of me.

"I'd assume you're my target, seeing how you look like a fucking anime character."
?: "Do you perhaps need help?"
"No help from you, that's for sure! Die, fuckhead!"

For some reason though, after a quick supplex, the bitch just exploded.

"WHOA! What the hell was that?!"

After all smoke faded away, some ugly son of a bitch dropped from mid-air onto the floor, maybe it was some kind of explosive shit so I just left it there to rot and die, like I'd fall for such a fucking trap anyway. At that point, a scream could be heard coming from inside the mall. Of course, it could have been fucking anything, but who cares! My target was inside, and I was going to blow that door open whatever the cost and find whoever I needed to kill!

"Hey! You! Up there!
?: "Hm?
"Can you open this goddamn door for me? Shit's stuck."
?: "Hmph."
"Hey! Come back here, you blonde-anime looking bitch!"

I tried kicking the door open, ramming it up with my bike, jacking it off, but it was all fucking worthless. The more I tried, the more I felt like I was wasting my whole entire time trying to do something basic and stupid, which was nothing but opening a simple door.

?: "Yo! The dude down there!"
"Who the fuck...?"
?: "If ya' wanna open the door, call the owner!"
"Well I can't do that if you don't give me his name, you dumb shit!
?: "Say 'ass' but with censor and remove the 'hes' at the end!"
"Say 'ass' but... what? Hey, do you think this is some sort of fucking joke?! Because if so, you are really the queen of being a little bitch, princess! By the way, take off those fucking glasses, you look like some shirtless guy in a porno."

All those insults suddenly made me realize he was giving me a puzzle. As if it weren't enough with the show of weirdos, now I had to play a dumb kid's children game.

"Ugh, fine. Peac."
"Ya' nearly got it!"
"Son of a fucking waste of accidental sperm! Pea!


And then, the fucker spoke onto a hidden intercom.


Pea: "Yes?"
"I've got a call from Sylvia Christel, she says you're a little bitch, so why don't you come out here and prove that you're an actual human being, huh?"

The intercom kicked me in the balls. But it managed to open that piece of iron shit.

Pea: "Suit yourself."
"Arghh! Ugh...! I'll fucking get you for this!
Pea: "Pleased to welcome you, Travis. Due to the game's rules, I will not let you have that sword you're carrying, your cellphone and any kind of lethal objects you might be carrying with you. Have a nice stay!"
"Show yourself, bitch! Come to where I am and we'll have a nice-..."
"...stay..."

I felt something punch me, kick me in the balls again. I don't know who was it, or what it was, but now that I'm inside this fucking room I can for sure tell one thing:


I'm going to kill whoever I was assigned to kill. And I wasn't going to let anyone interfere with my number in the ranking list.