Still better than the Netflix movie.
Light Yagami arrives at his house after a hot day at school when he sees a strange car in the driveway. In the house, he notices a boy who looks exactly like him, only with black hair and Mello’s clothes. His parents explain to him that this is his twin brother who he’s never seen before: Dark Yagami. Normally I’d tear this name apart, but Light as a name is already dumb as hell, sooooo I’ll let it slide. The reason the two have never met is that his parents sent Dark to an orphanage in “Whales”, England, where he would be trained to become the next L. And right off the bat, we have some issues; assuming this is the first time the brothers have met, it implies Dark has been in the orphanage for his entire life….does this mean his parents knew that Kira would come several years in advance? I’m just going to assume Kira was a villain foretold by ancient prophecies or some shit and Dark was sent to be The Chosen One. Light, understandably upset, “punches table” and goes upstairs, with Dark following. Light takes him to his room, which contains his new bunk bed, followed by a note by the author saying “I know what your thinking sickos no theres no slash!” Instead, we get something even more idiotic. Light proceeds to show Dark, the person he’s known for two minutes, the person he assumes is an L-tier detective, his Death Note. But as it turns out, Dark has a blood red Death Note of his own (which he pulls out of his pants, thinking that people would stop after searching just his bags)!
Dark observes out loud that his Death Note is a different “colour” from Light’s, which the latter corrects to “color”, seeing as they’re in America and all. Why this takes place in the USA instead of Japan? Who knows! Dark then summons his shinigami, who’s twice as large as Ryuk and....goddamnit these next few lines have me in tears...has a mohawk made entirely out of blood and skulls.
https://youtu.be/3jFJvx9yw64
Also, as a parallel to Ryuk’s apple obsession, he’s eating a blood banana. Made out of blood. The shinigami, whose name is Blud, exclaims himself to be the new king of the shinigami, as his Death Note is a special kind of Death Note: it can kill anyone whose name is written in the book, even if the writer doesn’t know his name or face. That’s right, you can just write down “some bloke with blonde hair and chiseled looks” and that fucker drops dead in 40 seconds. Truly, a fearsome weapon to behold. Dark goes off to his room to unpack and calls...L? Two double agents, sure. L, the cold detective who never shows emotion, angrily demands to know how Dark got his number. Dark informs him that he has killed Mello and Watari and took the former’s clothes. Despite these news, L sees that Watari is still in the room with him. But surprise, the imposter of the trusty butler turns out to be...Soichiro, Light’s dad! Who should have been in Light’s house! And he pulls a gun on L’s head!
Keep in mind, this is all in the first chapter.
Flashback to one month ago, and Mello is standing in his dorm in Watari’s house in England, his floor covered with chocolate bar wraps. He hears a knock on the door, and there stands Dark, who’s wearing a dressing gown with a posh D on the back of it. Eh, I won’t kinkshame him. Even though the author assured there would be no slash, the pair immediately start flirting with each other, but Dark takes off his pointless-in-hindsight gown and draws a pistol on Mello, and then proceeds to kill him and take his clothes. Watari walks in, shouts a ridiculous “Bloody bugger!”, and he’s immediately shot dead as well. Dark takes Watari’s cellphone and calls his dad, who orders him to dress up like Watari and confuse L, or at the very least, confuse me. Mr. Yagami agrees, but only on the condition that Dark comes to America to live with him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any money, so what’s his second plan? Why, hiding a box and hitchhiking on a plane, of course!
After landing in Ameripan/Japerica and somehow making it through the flight without suffocating, Dark demands his father to take him to Light’s house for some questions. Say, don’t you think disguising as someone is pointless if you’re going to give your real name to your brother anyway? Honestly, this guy leaks secrets as much as the internet leaks Smash Bros characters. Anyway, we jump back to present day, and L dodges the bullets from Soichiro’s gun (when it was at point blank range too, hot damn!) and hides behind his candy pile. Soichiro says he hasn’t really betrayed L (nah, he just attempted to shoot him for fun), and tells L that he thinks Dark might be Kira. They both reason that perhaps Dark is trying to frame Light...frame him for what? The murder of Mello and Watari? You would think Soichiro would know if Light was on the opposite side of the world, so what the hell? Not to mention it’s implied this takes place in the part of the anime/manga where Light and L have started collaborating and (IIRC) exchanged phone numbers, so since L didn’t recognize the caller’s number, it’s impossible for the killer to be Light! Better yet, why couldn’t Dark have killed the two of them with his Death Note? No wonder he got the name of Dark, saying he’s dim is an understatement.
But I digress. Back at the Yagami estate, Light is busy going on one of his usual killing sprees when he invites his crazed lover Misa Amane into the house. He tells her to wait out in the hall while he goes into Dark’s room, and when Misa is alone, Sayu comes out of the closet. I don’t like this foreshadowing. Apparently she’s smarter than Light and L combined, as she reveals that she knows her brothes, along with Misa, are all Kira, but she hasn’t told this to Soichiro even though people are fucking dropping dead. She’s willing to keep it a secret, as long as Misa has sex with her. Wait, isn’t Sayu underag-
Meanwhile, Blud’s giving some reliable exposition to Light. He obtained the new OP Death Note by killing and replacing the old shinigami king, and along with the book he usurped a palace, wife, and all the blood bananas one could have. Dark lets Light give the Death Note a test run on a weather reporter on TV, and sure enough, he becomes a vegetable. Poor guy did nothing wrong, come on. Meanwhile in Sayu’s room, she and Misa are busy getting it on. So basically, no slash, but yuri is fair game? Suspicious...Dark opens the door, possibly to retrieve Misa, and a flustered Sayu accuses him of being a pervert. Sayu promises Misa they’ll do this another time, and Misa escapes out the window. But since everyone in this story picked up the Idiot Ball apparently, she forgot to take her bag with her...which contains her Death Note. She calls her father, letting him know that she has her hands on the Death Note, and Soichiro begins to formulate plans into motion…
Expect the second part relatively soon, because man has it been a while since I was this entertained by a fic.
Light Yagami arrives at his house after a hot day at school when he sees a strange car in the driveway. In the house, he notices a boy who looks exactly like him, only with black hair and Mello’s clothes. His parents explain to him that this is his twin brother who he’s never seen before: Dark Yagami. Normally I’d tear this name apart, but Light as a name is already dumb as hell, sooooo I’ll let it slide. The reason the two have never met is that his parents sent Dark to an orphanage in “Whales”, England, where he would be trained to become the next L. And right off the bat, we have some issues; assuming this is the first time the brothers have met, it implies Dark has been in the orphanage for his entire life….does this mean his parents knew that Kira would come several years in advance? I’m just going to assume Kira was a villain foretold by ancient prophecies or some shit and Dark was sent to be The Chosen One. Light, understandably upset, “punches table” and goes upstairs, with Dark following. Light takes him to his room, which contains his new bunk bed, followed by a note by the author saying “I know what your thinking sickos no theres no slash!” Instead, we get something even more idiotic. Light proceeds to show Dark, the person he’s known for two minutes, the person he assumes is an L-tier detective, his Death Note. But as it turns out, Dark has a blood red Death Note of his own (which he pulls out of his pants, thinking that people would stop after searching just his bags)!
Dark observes out loud that his Death Note is a different “colour” from Light’s, which the latter corrects to “color”, seeing as they’re in America and all. Why this takes place in the USA instead of Japan? Who knows! Dark then summons his shinigami, who’s twice as large as Ryuk and....goddamnit these next few lines have me in tears...has a mohawk made entirely out of blood and skulls.
https://youtu.be/3jFJvx9yw64
Also, as a parallel to Ryuk’s apple obsession, he’s eating a blood banana. Made out of blood. The shinigami, whose name is Blud, exclaims himself to be the new king of the shinigami, as his Death Note is a special kind of Death Note: it can kill anyone whose name is written in the book, even if the writer doesn’t know his name or face. That’s right, you can just write down “some bloke with blonde hair and chiseled looks” and that fucker drops dead in 40 seconds. Truly, a fearsome weapon to behold. Dark goes off to his room to unpack and calls...L? Two double agents, sure. L, the cold detective who never shows emotion, angrily demands to know how Dark got his number. Dark informs him that he has killed Mello and Watari and took the former’s clothes. Despite these news, L sees that Watari is still in the room with him. But surprise, the imposter of the trusty butler turns out to be...Soichiro, Light’s dad! Who should have been in Light’s house! And he pulls a gun on L’s head!
Keep in mind, this is all in the first chapter.
Flashback to one month ago, and Mello is standing in his dorm in Watari’s house in England, his floor covered with chocolate bar wraps. He hears a knock on the door, and there stands Dark, who’s wearing a dressing gown with a posh D on the back of it. Eh, I won’t kinkshame him. Even though the author assured there would be no slash, the pair immediately start flirting with each other, but Dark takes off his pointless-in-hindsight gown and draws a pistol on Mello, and then proceeds to kill him and take his clothes. Watari walks in, shouts a ridiculous “Bloody bugger!”, and he’s immediately shot dead as well. Dark takes Watari’s cellphone and calls his dad, who orders him to dress up like Watari and confuse L, or at the very least, confuse me. Mr. Yagami agrees, but only on the condition that Dark comes to America to live with him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any money, so what’s his second plan? Why, hiding a box and hitchhiking on a plane, of course!
After landing in Ameripan/Japerica and somehow making it through the flight without suffocating, Dark demands his father to take him to Light’s house for some questions. Say, don’t you think disguising as someone is pointless if you’re going to give your real name to your brother anyway? Honestly, this guy leaks secrets as much as the internet leaks Smash Bros characters. Anyway, we jump back to present day, and L dodges the bullets from Soichiro’s gun (when it was at point blank range too, hot damn!) and hides behind his candy pile. Soichiro says he hasn’t really betrayed L (nah, he just attempted to shoot him for fun), and tells L that he thinks Dark might be Kira. They both reason that perhaps Dark is trying to frame Light...frame him for what? The murder of Mello and Watari? You would think Soichiro would know if Light was on the opposite side of the world, so what the hell? Not to mention it’s implied this takes place in the part of the anime/manga where Light and L have started collaborating and (IIRC) exchanged phone numbers, so since L didn’t recognize the caller’s number, it’s impossible for the killer to be Light! Better yet, why couldn’t Dark have killed the two of them with his Death Note? No wonder he got the name of Dark, saying he’s dim is an understatement.
But I digress. Back at the Yagami estate, Light is busy going on one of his usual killing sprees when he invites his crazed lover Misa Amane into the house. He tells her to wait out in the hall while he goes into Dark’s room, and when Misa is alone, Sayu comes out of the closet. I don’t like this foreshadowing. Apparently she’s smarter than Light and L combined, as she reveals that she knows her brothes, along with Misa, are all Kira, but she hasn’t told this to Soichiro even though people are fucking dropping dead. She’s willing to keep it a secret, as long as Misa has sex with her. Wait, isn’t Sayu underag-
Meanwhile, Blud’s giving some reliable exposition to Light. He obtained the new OP Death Note by killing and replacing the old shinigami king, and along with the book he usurped a palace, wife, and all the blood bananas one could have. Dark lets Light give the Death Note a test run on a weather reporter on TV, and sure enough, he becomes a vegetable. Poor guy did nothing wrong, come on. Meanwhile in Sayu’s room, she and Misa are busy getting it on. So basically, no slash, but yuri is fair game? Suspicious...Dark opens the door, possibly to retrieve Misa, and a flustered Sayu accuses him of being a pervert. Sayu promises Misa they’ll do this another time, and Misa escapes out the window. But since everyone in this story picked up the Idiot Ball apparently, she forgot to take her bag with her...which contains her Death Note. She calls her father, letting him know that she has her hands on the Death Note, and Soichiro begins to formulate plans into motion…
Expect the second part relatively soon, because man has it been a while since I was this entertained by a fic.
