Welcome back everyone! Thank you all so much for your submissions. Again, they were certainly, uh... varied!

As I said on the first day, I give every submission a score ranging from 0 to 10. There's no set rubric, but I definitely strive to be consistent.

So, what kind of dates do you all have in store for me?

Jimbobbio:

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jimbobbio here. as you may have guessed, our date entails being in the park. on a walk. specifically a long one. eating grapes.

i hope you like them. i sure do.

Well, I certainly do like grapes! And I like the park! But the long walk sounds pretty rough on my legs. I don't think I'd be able to focus on enjoying your company or your grapes. 4/10.

Goku:

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hi its me goku no time for a date though i have to go train so maybe next time

I understand and appreciate your dedication to staying in shape, Goku! Although, exercising together could've been a good opportunity to bond. Also, aren't you like, super already married? 1/10.

Prettyinblue22:

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ooh lol a classic! im prettyinblue22 and tbh im pretty old school!
we'll meet at a nice restaurant for good food and a drink or two 🍸🍸 and chat the night away! it'll range from fun 😛 to super serious 😟 as we talk about our work, our friends, our hopes and dreams, what ur fav dog breed is
ofc we'll split the bill. it's not 1908 anymore!
then if all goes well maybe we'll head back to your place 😉 and hang out for a bit. i will say tho i'm pretty hard to please!

A classic response to a classic prompt! One might say too classic, even. I'm not much of a drinker, but I certainly wouldn't be against such a fun-packed night. 7/10.

Skinny Penis (I think? You don't actually say your name in here, man!):

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haha sup ah it's ya boy-- mmmmmaaa trying to contain myself hnghh okay, okay... *breathe*

we uh in a that supa hot ice cream factory called dick's- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH okay, sorry i get too excited when thinking about peni- MMmmMH FUCK anyawy

we uh... eatin' a wholesome.. hey waiddup what do people eat in ice cream factories? cuz the ice cream being made and like you can't eat ice cream still in process so like.. wtf? anyway uh we eatin a wholesome.

I stare straight into this guy's eyes... deep straight, no homo, and say...

sorry man. I have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I've uh, never had a wholesome before, but I'm sure it tastes great judging from your response! It would be fun to see the process of how ice cream is made, so that's a pretty interesting date idea. Sorry to hear about your pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but you did the responsible thing and told me upfront. 6/10.

Iario:

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I, iario, shall sweep you off your feet and jump into the pipes of adventure! fist we will visit the toilet,

A-A rather short date, Iario! A shame, too, because I was really hoping to be swept off my feet by these pipes of adventure! 3/10.

Sleepy:

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Hey, this is Sleepy.

I don't know much about dates, but I guess we could go to the arcade and play some games there. As for having a bite somewhere... I'd let you decide, maybe something you really like? I'm more of a sweets person, so if you want to try out some pastries...

We could play some more games after that. Do you like cooperative games? What about competitive games?

The arcade sounds like a fun first date, as I'm sure there's plenty of things we could play together! I'm glad you're not picky about where we go for food, but I wouldn't mind you throwing in a suggestion or two, as it helps me get to know you and your tastes more. I like all kinds of games, so I'm sure we'd have no problem finding common ground. 8/10.

Video Game Dunkey:

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its me dunkey lets go to an italian place ill have the spaghetti and meat balls hold the BALLs if you know what i'm SAYINGg

No, I don't quite get what you're saying, Dunkey, though I'm not a big fan of meatballs so I won't complain. An Italian restaurant sounds like un posto bellissimo per tu ed io. 6/10.

Snarpshooter:

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hi im snarpsnooter we can play a video game together or watch vine compilations while eating a meal

vine and dine as i always say

Vining and dining sounds like a fun time! What game, though? What meal? What vines? These are the details you should fill me in on, Snarpshooter! 5/10.

Edge Hedge:

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The one known as Edge Hedge shall speak now. Picture this: Linkin Park music is playing throughout the entire date (or Death Grips, if you have true taste). We go to a greenhouse, preferably when it's raining because it looks cooler, and take some time to sniff the flowers. Then we pick some flowers and throw them angrily at anything you don't like or understand (preferably roses, those bitches hurt). Finally, we'll eat at some vegan restaurant, people who cook meat are the scum of the earth.

My musical tastes are broad, so if you want to play some Death Grips, I wouldn't mind! Sniffing flowers under a raining greenhouse does sound like a beautiful and romantic moment, albeit possibly interrupted by a yelling MC Ride. I have to be honest and say that I don't particularly care for vegan food, but I'll try anything once, as you've seen! 8/10.

Granny:

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Hello again dearie, it's "Granny" here.

My phone's "selfie camera" doesn't seem to be working today sadly, but I'm sure my words will be picture enough!

I was thinking we could go to the local park and feed some birds together, maybe have a quick game of chess. I'll even bring some sandwiches, someone like me has to keep their strength up you know!

After that there's this delightful cafe I know just down the road that does a simply perfect cup of tea with scones. I'm sure you'll just adore them.

What a lovely day you have planned for us, Granny! I've never been very good at chess, but I'd love to learn. Sandwiches, tea, and scones all sound like a wonderful afternoon! 9/10.

Lisa (Holy shit):

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I've always been the quiet one, the shy one, the one who never spoke up, the one who'd never talked back, even when I knew the person or persons talking to me were wrong.

Thankfully I was never bullied; being invisible to others has its benefits.

The only person to even notice me without getting their attention first was Dev, the new shitposter. He looked plain to others, but by god, he looked perfect to me.

Of average height for a boy his age, average measurements too if I'd dared to ask. I thought nothing of him besides from his glowing beauty, but something he did would forever make me want him from then on.

He talked to me.

"Hi, I'm Brainwyrms, what's your name?" He asked so cheerfully.

While it may have been common in other forums, most new kids who came here kept to themselves, and the fact that the first poster he talked to would be ME, the nobody, the one who was shy, quiet, the one who was ignored, even by his own family.

"Lisa," I replied back hesitantly.

"Nice to meet you," he extended his hand out to shake mine, which took me further by surprise.

No one and I do mean NO ONE, ever wanted to shake my hand. It wasn't that people were afraid or grossed out by me, just that they never took the time to know me that well. Handshake may not seem like much to anybody else, but to me, it was a sign of acknowledgement!

After our handshake, he turned his focus away from me and started to listen to what the discord moderator was saying about how killing game has more to do with assumptions than what the posters presumed.

I didn't listen, I for the rest of the thread's activity, focused on him, the first boy to acknowledge me. Thankfully I was invisible to others, otherwise they would've insulted me for looking right at him the way I did.

Since then, I've always thought of him, even when reading the other threads that the forum has saw fit to put me in, even when I was off the internet and home alone.

My parents were the social media type, so I rarely saw them. Only in the mornings when they would hazily stumble out of their bedroom to make coffee and eat and go to their respective sites, which they never explained to me. I sometimes wondered if they even had accounts, messaging like they do every night, but they had to be getting their contacts somewhere, right?

We never talked; they never took the time out of their 'busy' lives to talk to their only daughter. From what I can tell they don't hate me, they just didn't seem to care and had no reason to.

I never caused or got into any trouble, all they would do is leave extra food for me to eat in the fridge and cabinets. So they did know I existed.

They always got babysitters to watch over me. I had all types, ranging from sweet to flat-out rude, but since I always stayed in my room, I never bothered them, so I never gave them a reason to bother me.

I had no friends, I did try to make some last year when I moved to this quiet town in northern Minus World. But I'm just not an interesting person. I'm just shy and quiet. But it was okay, I never had any friends to begin with.

My family ignored me, and so did my relatives whenever the rare opportunity came that they came over to visit. The moderators and admins never bothered to try to get to know me, besides from giving me my goodshits and spells that they had to give everyone.

No one has ever tried to get to know me, to understand, to talk, and as I've became a teenager, I had become used to it.

But now...

He acknowledged me, he shook hands with me, he introduced herself to me before even doing so with the others, even the moderators.

I watched him. Whenever I could find him, I never took my eyes off him if I could help it.

Three months has passed, and I was still awestruck whenever I saw him. The first thing to ever spark my interests would always brighten my day whenever I'd hear him speak in that soft, cheerful voice.

It was the poster to promote the upcoming garrison next week. Which I've usually ignored, knowing that there was no point in me going. But because of Dev I wanted to, because of him, I now have a goal, to be his date to the garrison.

Because of that, I did something that I haven't tried for many years when I was home. I talked to my parents.

"Mom."

"Yes, sweetie?" she asked.

"Can you get me a profile picture for the garrison next week; I'm going to get a date."

"There should be one in the basement that used to be your cousins," my mother replied. "It should fit you just fine."

"Ok, thanks."

Besides for the buildup of dust, and having to brush off a cobweb, it did fit, it fit well. Besides the mao face, it was all black.

I worked up the courage to ask him, and I did, meekly. "Would you like to be my garrison-mate?"

He said yes!!!

I... uh... wow. Where do I even begin? That's quite a story. Quite a verbose story. It's oddly comforting to know that I had such a, uh, admirer, prior to starting this garrison! You didn't say much about the date, but you succeeded in making want to get to know you more. 9/10.

So that's all the submissions! Even with one sentence, you all managed to give me unique date plans, and for that I thank you. Stay tuned for Day 3!

what the fuck. i demand a recount
#justiceforgoku

fun garrison so far! i'm looking forward to what goku and granny have in store. although i'm not looking forward to what lisa has to offer...

#JusticeForGoku