This post was last modified: Feb 16, 2022 at 4:39 PM by n̷̨̘͖͗̊͜ò̴̟̜̲̲̞͈͚̖̲̽̈́́͐͛́̏̋̈́̑͐̈́.

Listen. The tl;dr is that shy discovers there are other things to do in life besides video games. Most of us learned this in 5th grade but better late than never. Enjoy your validation. Now fuck off back to reddit.

Time to talk about something that's actually worth discussion. The correlation between good vidya and hot moms. Now let me be clear this isn't a horny post but you have to have noticed it on a subsconscious level. 10 times out of 10 if your mom is hot in vidya then the game is great by default. Let me give you an example:

This is just one of the many moms in Tekken:


Feast your eyes nerds. Beauty, mystery and coolness all embodied into one image. To no ones surprise Tekken is also the most consistent fighting game ever. DOESNT MEAN BEST. but you put in any one and you're practically guaranteed to have a good time. Especially with friends. My personal favorite is the boxing guy who plays like he's from YAKUZA 0 instead of Tekken but there are no bad choices except Yoshitune. If you pick him or the fucking Kangaroo I hate you.

Now let's choose another example:
Dragon Quest XI



Now you might be wondering why I posted a pic of hotter TP zelda and the total me up bitch from good burger but there's a good reason. Dragon Quest XI was smart. They know about the milf trick so they intentionally made your mom on the heaftier side in order to throw you off when you get the reveal that your actual mom is hot as fuck. Literally no one saw it coming. How does this validate the theory?? Well because no one else saw DQXI literally being one of the best JRPGs in the past 10 years except maybe japanese people but Yuji Horii could've just made a fully rendered ver of himself and made the game about him peeing in a forest, called that DQXI and most likely japanese people would still call it 10/10 so their opinion is discarded.

Now I have time for just one more example but I'd like to dab on games that by this metric are automatically shit due to the lack of hot moms.
- Literally all the Persona games
- Every Souls game
- Call of Duty
- Naked Brothers Band on the Wii

Now on to why the MILF theory passes the test; look no further than this.

Hot mom = Best games in the franchise and I don't care if you ping Spritey's Sunshine loving ass. The Galaxy games are based. It's Mario flying through space going YAHOO WAHOO BONG. What the fuck? Not watching your 1hr long thesis video on how Odyssey is the greatest callback to the franchise roots. Mario doesnt need to go back to his roots. The next game should've been Mario: No Way Home. The exact opposite of roots but whatever.

Root of the moral is that as you grow older it becomes increasingly rarer to find people who actually enjoy vidya. Most of them only play out of cope or habit but they don't actually like what they play, discuss, whatever the fuck. On a whole I probably like playing my instruments and drawing shitty more than vidya [unless it's Xeno or Dragon Quest] but I don't need to write a full dissertation on it because i'm not unbased. OP literally hasnt played Viewtiful Joe, Custom Robo, Jet Force Gemini OR posted their work. So fuck them and everyone who good shitted that post. Vidya rules you're just gay

*rides off into a time paradox*

This post was last modified: Feb 16, 2022 at 4:57 PM by n̷̨̘͖͗̊͜ò̴̟̜̲̲̞͈͚̖̲̽̈́́͐͛́̏̋̈́̑͐̈́.

also here's a drawing i made of sonic the hedgehog giving shygul the middle finger

HOLY SHIT THAT'S THE WRONG FUCKING FINGER LMAO

it's ok, sonic asks for a lot rings in general

@zelma bro shut the fuck up

@zelma bro shut the fuck up

wtf bro gtfo youre ruining my flow

I don't think I was ever as into video games as some people are? I really liked Mario and Pokemon (and Sonic to a lesser extent) and I just never gave a shit about any of the other stuff. I got into Left 4 Dead in 2009 and now that's the only game I still play on a regular basis lol

I do hate the way everything is a subscription now, but it doesn't really bother me because I'm just gonna keep playing the old ones. What does bug me is stuff like TF2 where I literally can't play the old version I used to like. Feels like Gabe Newell is the George Lucas of source games