This post was last modified: Feb 21, 2021 at 10:35 PM by sealelement.
Edit Reason: I forgot one of Grungo's answers. Sorry, Grungo!
Today's musical selection:
Whoops, sorry this took so long, I had to get the booze and cigarette stank off my breath! First things first, I have a few minor rules revisions. I'm putting these in the main thread later, too.
1. I'll drop one lowest grade for the finals grading. This feels like the most equitable way to let people back in if they got an F on the first night. (In hindsight, giving an F on the first night wasn't the best idea, especially since you guys did actually submit. Sorry, gang!)
2. For late submissions, I won't DQ you if you're late, I'll just dock points if you submit late more than 2 times. But please have everything submitted by the final, or you really will get F's for whatever you're missing.
Now, let's get started. This week's questions were sort of standard hypothetical fare but I think we all had fun with them! For the sake of making this post less of a fucking mess than the first one, I've put everyone's submissions and my responses and grades under the spoilers. Let's get started!
First off, we have Seaman from Maryland.
Spoiler:
Quote: 1. Arr, me marine figurine. A scale of beauty that one, a fine anchor and a set of sail upon which da sweet wind may blow. Ive not much time on the vee-tubers but a lass of the sea, formed into a fine sculpture is a fine trinket.
Wow! A figure of a Virtual Youtuber? Do they even make those yet? That's impressive. I guess you must really love sailing, video games, and anime, huh? B
Quote:2. Aye. Once I dreamt me knackers were alight with the pinch of crustaceans. Once feel ahsleep in the holding pen, a drink or two yae, and me dreams came true then some.
I guess you should have heeded your premonition and put a lock on the holding pen, huh? B+
Quote: 3. Sight be for sirens but blood be thicker than water.
I'm not sure what you mean by this? Are you saying people need to have a blood covenant to fall in love? I guess the 'sight be for sirens' part is good advice though. B-
Quote: 4. Eh, we'll ave a festival were we see whos cookin can (or cant) baet me cookin. I'll win o course, no breathin mortal sack of meat could beat me. And if yae aint made yer weekly quota of feet pictograms, into the tickle dungeon ye go.
I was liking the idea of a weekly cooking festival but then you made it weird. I'm not sure how I feel about anything you said in that third sentence, but it's definitely not a good feeling. C-, you lost 2 letter grades for the feet pics, and most of my respect for you.
Next up is Sue Bazooms!
Spoiler:
Quote: 1. I would save my house, I think, it seems like the most obvious thing to save.
Well, props to thinking outside of the box, but that's not really the spirit of the question, Sue. C
Quote: 2. I have never once thought about the future, I find it easier to live in the moment or reminisce on the past.
You wouldn't really need to, I guess. Thanks for the honest answer. B-
Quote: 3. I definitely believe in love at first sight for some people, many people have become infatuated with me from one look at my gigantic breasts.
Again, I appreciate your honesty, and I understand how you would feel this way from your life experiences, even if I don't personally see things that way. But are you sure what people are feeling for you is love? B
Quote: 4. I like to believe I would serve the people better than previous governments and I would do that by letting the people gaze upon my massive honkers at all times. Maybe I would outlaw shirts entirely.
Finally, some policy reform that we all can get behind (or, I guess, in front of?). B+
I know you didn't get all A+'s this week, but I liked your answers more. Keep it up.
uh... uhh... uhh... cheetos? idk, please submit!
And next we have Kazuki Yoshimitsu!
Spoiler:
Quote: 1. Wait, I'm confused. If there's a fire in my house, why would I want to take people out of it? That's just counterintuitive, silly! Regardless, I would probably take a bunch of small personal mementos that mean a lot to me. Would be pretty embarrassing if anyone else found them, eheheh!
O-oh, well, let's just assume that all the people in the burning house just got out on their own. I'm a little worried you didn't really explain more about those mementos, but I'm sure they're just sentimental and nothing incriminating. B
Quote: 2. Actually, I did have this weird premonition one time....I had a vision that this cute albeit slightly rude girl was going to die at my house during a date in 2 days, and that actually came true! It was terrible, I can't imagine what it's like to accidentally strangle yourself with a clothesline...
Wow, I'm so sorry that happened to you. She must have... fallen out of a window... or... something? That's such an oddly specific premonition, too. B-
Quote: 3. Yeah, I think I would need to wait a while before I'm ready to give my girlfriend a good time. There's a lot of things I'd like to know about her first: her hobbies, weak points (physically and mentally), whether she likes anime, if her parents have a good knife collection, her hobbies....whoops, I said that twice!
I think that's fair to really want to know someone instead of just rushing into things. I mean, otherwise, you could run the risk of just projecting whatever you want onto them. And I think getting to know someone well enough to know some of their weaknesses and faults before committing to them isn't terrible advice, although that could take a while! A
Quote: 4. If I had my own country, hm...I would probably have free, uncensored internet for all of my citizens, then turn it off once they get used to it after 2 or 3 months. It would be fun to watch them panic!
Wait, you DO realize that the kind of stuff that IS censored on the internet right now is like, child porn and terrorism? I find the social experiment component of this answer interesting and slightly terrifying, but I don't know if you thought that one through all the way? C-, I really liked the second half of this answer as an interesting hypothetical, but c'mon man.
And now it's The Big Man!
Spoiler:
Quote: 1. I would make sure to save my precious collection of rare books. Valuable, too! I accumulated it over years. If I could only pick one, my inscribed original copy of The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne.
Now that's an interesting answer that I didn't expect from you, and a very specific one, too! An original copy of a classic novel by Jules Verne! A
Quote: 2. I often have reason to believe that people will soon die, and then later those people perish in a variety of ways. Does that count?
I feel like this might be confirmation bias. I'm guessing you mean celebrity trifecta games, like, oh, there's a trifecta of famous people who passed away quickly, but they were all old or had high risk lifestyles anyways. I hope that's what you mean, at least. Still, I can't get into that trifecta stuff, but I know a lot of people who speculate on that. A-
Quote: 3. I think it needs time to grow. You have to spend time with someone and really get to know them if you want to build a healthy, sustainable relationship. Honestly, you're better off seeking friendship with someone as a baseline and THEN trying to pursue romance; the "friendzone" is a concept that devalues the importance of friendship. If you only want to jump someone's bones, what happens if you get tired of jumping said bones? Does your relationship have any substance to it? Love at first sight is, frankly, infatuation. Love requires knowledge, care, and something more beyond sexual attraction.
Wow, that's a really detailed answer. I definitely agree with it personally, but I really appreciated the thought that you put into this one. A+
Quote: 4. I would probably lock several people in a confined space and require them to kill each other so that only one of them can survive, and then repeat this on a regular basis for my own entertainment. That, or outlaw grapefruit.
Kind of fucked up, but it's kind of like the Hunger Games. It also reminds me of something else, but I can't quite put my finger on it. And yeah, fuck grapefruit. B-
Next.......... GRUNGO
Spoiler:
Quote:Grungo live in cave. Cave not catch fire
But if Grungo have pick choose it be special rock little brother carve. It remind me of him
Wait, you live in a cave? Do you have heat or power or water? Are you even safe there? Not that I want to judge you, I'm just concerned for you if you're having to fight dinosaurs on the regular, Grungo. At any rate, thank you for understanding the purpose of the question. And I really like how much you care for your family. That's sweet. A-
Quote: Grungo not think of future much. Like present. Easier that way
That's fine, I've been able to relate to that before, but you should consider maybe moving into something like this, maybe, so that you could have a little more security and time to relax. It would still be fireproof! B-
Quote: Grungo think simple but love anything but simple. Take time
That's a good answer, Grungo. You might think simple, but you're wiser than you let on. A-
Quote: Grungo make everyone accommodate big rock visit. No other visitor and lot of food for us
Wow, this big rock must be amazing, and I appreciate your focus on the food supply. What did you mean by no other visitor, though? Is that your immigration policy? That concerns me a bit, and I'm afraid I'm docking a letter grade for it. C+
Now it's time for the defending Rose Ceremony winner Fun With Dinos!
Spoiler:
Quote: 1.Hmm this is tough, it depends on what I'd consider valuable when the situation comes, but I'd probably recover my pc as it contains the most things that are important to me , like my collection of dino research, in the least amount of space at this point in time.
Cool answer Fun With Dinos, I admire your dedication to the Dino craft. Have you considered meeting up with Grungo sometime? He apparently fights Dinosaurs! Also, it might not be a bad idea to start backing up your Dino research to the cloud, but I understand wanting it there in person as well. B
Quote: 2.Not quite a premonition but I've had dreams in which a very specific sequence of mundane things happen in a short span of time, then a year later I experience that exact same sequence and recall said dream vividly.
I've had this one happen to me too! Deja Vu is such a weird feeling. B+
Quote: 3.Can't say I believe in TRUE love at first sight. I think a very deep attraction can be present at such a stage but it won't really grow into love without getting to know the person at least somewhat.
I see what you mean here, though. Like there is that having a good feeling about someone from the start, but you have to develop it further. B+
Quote: 4.If I was the dictator of a small country, I would probably give the homeless shelter and jobs enact psuedo slave-labor through evil projects wa-ha-ha!
I'm not sure about this? What kind of evil projects? I'm concerned about you now, Fun With Dinos. C, I appreciate the interesting answer but I am extremely concerned on a personal level about hypothetical slavery and evil projects.
And now, Grizz! I'm running out of interesting ways to type out people's names, but I want it to be more interesting than just listing off their name, y'know?
Spoiler:
Quote: 1) Oh man, forest fires are the worst. I don't have a lot of material possessions, but it would be terrible if I lost all of my stored food. So I guess I'd grab some grub to go.
Wait, why are you and Grungo both living out in the wilderness? I'm assuming you at least have like a camper van or something, and you rent a space in a national park. You seem to have a very low attachment to material goods in general, too, since all you can think to save is some food. But that's certainly an interesting way to live! B+
Quote: 2) Premonition? Like seeing the future? I wouldn't say I've had anything specific like that, but I can usually smell danger coming from miles away.
Cool answer. I would assume you've got some really sharp instincts since you live so close to the wilderness. A-
Quote: 3) I don't fully understand the emotion that humans call love yet, but I don't think it's the same thing as mating. If you can claim you love someone at first sight, you're probably just looking for a mate. Anyone can find a mate, but not everyone finds love.
I'm... not sure why you distinguish yourself from humans in this answer, and I really hope you're not some kind of serial killer or vampire, but I like that you can distinguish between love and mating. But for a lot of people, those two things are really tightly entwined. B+
Quote: 4) I'd turn the entire country into one big national park. I would also order my generals to fetch my honey, then laugh at their struggle to decide if I mean you or my lunch.
See, this is exactly the kind of fun, non-slavery answer I was hoping for. And clearly they would just bring you both me AND the honey! A+
Troy Aikman was the first overall pick in the 1989 NFL Draft and played with the Dallas Cowboys through the 1990's, during which he brought the team to its most dominant period in franchise history, and arguably one of the most dominant periods for any team in NFL history. That has absolutely nothing to do with BTGGF, though, unless BTGGF is actually Troy Aikman, and I don't really think that's the case.
Spoiler:
Quote: 1-My Gamecube memory cards. I spent way too much time on some of those save files.
Oh wow, I bet you have all trophies on Melee. I'd definitely go back for my memory cards if I spent that much time on a game. But that said, aren't Gamecube memory cards made of Nintendium and are therefore fireproof? A
Quote: 3 (I think you meant #2 but it's all good) -I predicted that I would get this in late. Sorry about that. I'll accept the loss if it's too late for a late entry.
It's fine, my rules on that have been sloppy and too complicated. I'm impressed that you predicted that, but if you predicted you'd have it in late, why didn't you submit sooner? C+
Quote: 3-I think love needs to grow, like a rose. Careful of the thorns. All relationships have them.
Now that's a very symbolic and #DEEP riddle you've written out here. I like that answer. B+
Quote: 4-I'm not much of a leader, so I'd hire people I think know how to run a government. Oh, and ban Mormonism. Fuck you, Zelma.
Very practical answer. Fuck the Mormons and Zelma. (Is Zelma a mormon?) A-
Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin-Peters, I'm sorry for telling you to compromise America's vaccination strategy for a Minus World Garrison! Please come back, baby!
Goku, you could submit if you wanted, but I think everyone knows what grade you would get either way.
Today's ROSE CEREMONY was honestly a little trickier, but it'll have to go to THE BIG MAN for his interesting and surprisingly well thought out answers. I don't want to award the roses exclusively to the players with the highest grades or longest answers every night, but I felt the Big Man had some good shit in his submission that I had to recognize. I did like everyone's answers this round, though, and I am looking forward to more! But first, here's the Big Man's rose!
The next thread will be going up tonight! I'm pretty sure, at least! I'll keep submissions for it open until Wednesday the 24th at 6 PM Pacific. As always, reach out via Anon World or messaging Draku if you have any questions or concerns!