This post was last modified: Jan 2, 2017 at 4:40 AM by DrTapeworm.

???-1: Remind Me Why We Came To This Boring Place Again

???-2: I already told you, there is important business we must attend to here! There are mountains of rare, valuable E X P waiting to be mined out in this subdimensional layer rift!

Fat Wario: *Fart* *Belch* *Squeak*

???-2: Quiet down! You can eat later!

???-1: Alright, Well, Where Do We Go Then

???-2: First off, we ask around. According to my research, there are these dogs in this rift that know about E X P and where to find it. Let me just fire up my Dog Encyclopedia...

Yoshin

???-1: Wow What A Weird Dog

???-2: Shut up! There are no weird dogs! Only good dogs! He is trying his best!

???-1: Oh, I'm Sorry Dogs

???-2: Yeah you'd better be sorry! In fact, I'm going to rate these dogs according to how good they are, and because my numbers are much more accurate than those other, bigger numbers on the Dog Encyclopedia! I mean, what do they even mean in the end?

RATING: Trying His Best/10

Two_Finger

???-2: See? Look at this fine example of a dog who knows a lot about E X P!

RATING: Might Donate Its Brain To Science/10

Puddin

???-1: Uhhhh Are You Sure That These Are Dogs

???-2: Positive! After all, why would they be here in the Dog Encyclopedia if they weren't?

???-1:

RATING: 8/Dog

Pedigree

???-2: See, what did I tell you? A dog!

???-1: I Guess That Really Is A Hound

???-2: Anyways I like this one. He is a good boy. I would throw him a bone.

RATING: Decent/10

Orion

???-1: I Do Not Like This Dog. Its Smug Aura Mocks Me

???-2: What did I just tell you?!

RATING: Fuck that other guy he is Wrong about dogs!/10

Moschops

???-2: There he is! That's my boy! My brilliant child!

???-1: As It Turns Out, Moschops, In Addition To Being An Extinct Genus Of Therapsid From The Permian, Is Also A Dog!

Fat Wario: *Squeak* *Boing* *Spray*

RATING: Flawless

Gato

???-2: Whoops sorry looks like we made a mistake here as that is certainly not a dog!

Fat Wario: *Disqualified* *Squart*

RATING: Not A Dog/10

Kazaam

???-2: Man, after the unforgettable appearance of my dear Moschops, it's almost like I can't think of anything else to say about anyone else! Fat Wario, you do this one.

Fat Wario: *Hoot!* *Hoot!* *Hoot!* *Hoot!*

???-1: Why Did We Bring This Thing With Us

RATING: I'm Running Out Of Ideas Now/10

Demonlemon

???-1: Well This Is Unexpected

???-2: Indeed! A dog with wings... Truly unparalleled in terms of design! Whoever made this dog deserves high praise!

???-1: I Was Talking About How This Dog Only Has Two Eyes, But Whatever

RATING: 2/Eyes

Fat Wario

???-1: What The Fuck What

???-2: I can't believe it! All this time, this dumb, stupid animal following us around...was a dog all along? Oh, how horrible that I have been treating him so poorly!

???-1: Please Fat Wario, What Can We Do To Repay You

Fat Wario: *Bark*

RATING: ☠☠☠☠☠☠

Then Some Other Stuff Happens

Hoo boy! It's a good thing you didn't see what happened to those guys! Take this as a cautionary tale about peeking into things that are none of your business. You might think this was a risky and dangerous shitpost by some kind of swamp mosquito. But honestly, there's far worse things that could happen, like, say, spamming the PPP with small talk to grind for EXP, and in the end, aren't all the monthly roundups just very elaborate fanfictions with dumb original characters anyways?

Anyways, thank you all for coming to this extremely official monthly roundup and I hope you have a happy new year. Don't steal any cursed bones this time!

-Your Friend, a Subdimensional Layer Rift Mimic ❤

this post is a treasure

BORK

Oh DrTapeworm is Neini. Figured one out boys

both of these are fuckin terrible lists but at least youre not fun with despair so high five

Petition to:

1. Make MetagameBot an official APU controlled by @"GrinchRELOADED"
2. Actually write some guidelines so the MMR isn't just people fucking around
3. Round up an MMR committee of 2-3 members (in addition to oracular) to weigh in on rankings, all of whom resign their ability to be included in the list. Maybe we could have an EX reward for users willing to take on this task, but we'd also need qualifications (for one thing you must have been active during the past month to make an educated decision)
4. Before posting, the MMR list must be approved by the staff, only to ensure none of the committee members have been given places

There's great potential in these lists, but they're mainly treated as a joke. We could really have some fun with the idea if it was regulated a little better.

i don't have an issue with non-regulated mmr-type lists seeing as we're going to run proper end-of-season highlights

Nah I mean combining all that into one official event

Oracular is better than anyone else at writing this stuff, so to me it makes sense to let her handle it with a little regulation

anyone not on this list gets to be on it; just imagine yourself as the Top Dog instead of fat wario

spritey keep in mind that orion has pretty much said they don't have time for this shit anymore
also, you're taking it way too seriously for something that has always been just people fucking around

This post was last modified: Jan 4, 2017 at 12:41 AM by fucker5.

Oracular's the best at writing these threads but I don't think it needs to be exclusive to her, especially since yeah she's said she's busy. Letting others take a crack at it spices things up a little

I also think regulating it or making it an official event would dampen the spirit of the whole thing

I like this one, good job @DrTapeworm

I don't think there'd be a good way to eliminate biases that'd actually be effective as well as not hurting the quality/humour of them. The Official ones have always been sporadic anyway and I think even building something that'd force em out every month would be a big hit to the quality as well. There already is an anonymous committee that cannot be bought who decides the mmr anyway, its not going to get less biased than that

how do you impartially judge feckin mw posts anyway

very carefully

how do you impartially judge feckin mw posts anyway

the judges view every poster under the effects of whodunnit all month long and list good posts. the posters identities are revealed after the month ends