I ate a bagel like a boss

I scratched my balls like a boss

crippling depression and mental illness like a boss

Uplifting happiness and mental clarity like a boss!

Uplifting happiness and mental clarity like a boss!

severely doubting this like a boss

farted so hard I tore a hole in my underwear like a boss

clicked into the quick reply box like a boss

got off work early like a boss

Typed this post like a peon

intentionally ignoring class crisis like a baus

i play minecraft like a sir

one day mario woke up and decided to take a shit because hey he's mario. so mario went up to yoshi and said "yoshi i want you to be my shitter" and since yoshi was mario's bitch he opened his mouth. mario pulled down his stained briefs and began to shit in yoshi's mouth. yoshi was forbidden to express any emotions but at this moment he was feeling very aroused.
mario's face turned red as he grunted and strained to push his log of shit out of his ass. he farted and little shit particles flew into yoshi's eyes. yoshi's eyes teared up, not from the pain of the shit particles nor from the paint-peeling stench coming from mario's unwashed ass, but from the sheer ecstasy of being mario's shitter. mario noticed this and began to grunt harder, teasing the horny beast.
mario noticed that yoshi was fiddling around with his dino-wiener, which had become quite erect. "stop that this instant" commanded mario, noticing his own 2-incher was growing hard as well. yoshi whined and reluctantly lowered his hands. with a final grunt and a smelly fart, mario's log of shit finally dropped from his ass into yoshi's mouth.
mario turned around and watched as yoshi chewed the shit log. "eat it bitch. eat it all" said mario. yoshi pretended he hated doing this so much but his throbbing wiener and moans of joy told mario otherwise. "swallow it" ordered mario but yoshi didn't want to swallow it yet. he wanted to savor the shit. "SWALLOW IT RIGHT NOW" screamed mario as he began wang-slapping yoshi across the face.
mario, hands on his hips, thrust his pelvis from side to side across yoshi's face, punishing the naughty dinosaur. "YOU DO WHAT MARIO TELLS YOU" he screamed. after about fourty wang-slaps his wiener started to become sore so he stopped. by now the shit log had gone down yoshi's throat. "eggulate" he ordered. yoshi strained and produced an egg. inside this egg contained what was previously his shit log. mario walked over to his shelf and placed it with the others. he had hundreds possibly thousands of these shit-eggs. he planned to use these against bowser the next time he kidnapped peach.
now there was only one thing left to do.
mario bent over and pointed his ass at yoshi who immediately knew what to do. he began to use his tongue to clean mario's shitty ass. mario couldn't hold it back. his peener let loose with some "italian ranch dressing." this brought yoshi to an orgasm as well. with both their wieners pleasantly limp and tingling they continued with the cleaning process. "don't forget to thorougly clean the dingleberries from the hairs" mario advised. yoshi obeyed his master. ten minutes later mario decided he was clean and put his clothes back on. now it was luigi's turn with yoshi.
"yo luigi i got him warned up for you" mario called as he walked out of the yoshi room. luigi walked in past him with a sly smile under his mustache and carrying an apple and a hot wheels car. "hello yoshi guess what time it is again" he said in a low voice as he locked the door behind him. mario walked out into the kitchen ignoring yoshi's squeals of pain and joy, and poured himself a bowl of cereal. unfortunately he had forgotten to purchase milk, but he could improvise. he took out his wiener and peed into his cheerios.
mario sat down in front of the tv and began to eat his cheerios and pee while periodically scratching his balls. "hey these cheerios and pee aren't half bad" mario said out loud and contemplated having another bowl before he realized that he was all out of pee. luigi had now returned, panting and sweating. "yo luigi let me borrow some of your pee" said mario as he pointed the bowl at luigi's crotch. "gee mario i don't know what you would want with my pee but sure" said luigi as he unzipped his overalls.
luigi filled mario's bowl but still had some more pee left in him. he took this opportunity to mark his territory around the house. first he peed on his side of the couch then he peed on his chair at the dining table. he only had a little pee left so he had to make this last one count. he looked around the room and spotted his brother. he ran up and peed on mario, marking him as his own. "no one else can have you!!" shouted luigi. mario "accidentally" got some of luigi's pee in his mouth.
mario and luigi finished eating their cheerios with pee and decided to go for a walk in the park. they hooked yoshi up to his leash and took turns raping him during the walk to the park. by the time they arrived at the park all three of them were tuckered out and decided to just shit in the shade of the big oak tree. it seemed like today was going to be another peaceful day. however no one seemed to notice the eyes peering at them from inside the nearby bushes.
mario heard a rustle in the bushes. "who's there" he called out but there was no answer. "i'm warning you. you better show yourself. i got a dick and i know how to use it" he threatened while thrusting and pointing at his dick. luigi and yoshi were now getting into position too, thrusting and pointing at their own dicks. "you got till the count of three to come out" said mario. "one" mario and luigi unzipped their overalls. "two" they pulled out their quivering dicks. "THREE"
mario, luigi, and yoshi all leaped into the bushes, thrusting their dicks around. no one had any idea whether or not they were dicking the person in the bushes or just each other. there were many shouts and the occasional giggle. this went on for ten minutes before mario took charge and threw everyone out of the bushes. mario stepped out too and looked at the pile of sweat, semen, and shit covered bodies in front of him.
mario looked down at the man in front of him with a look of disgust on his face. "nevermind guys it's just that fat faggot wario" he said as luigi stood up and straightened his hat. "hey fuck you mario" said wario, wiping a bit of feces out of his mustache. "i'm not the one who goes around raping people." mario smirked as he watched the lump in wario's crotch start to grow larger.
wario shifted his legs to try and hide the growing bulge but it was too late. luigi and yoshi had already noticed and were smirking as well. yoshi's wiener twitched. wario eyed it with apprehension, the bulge growing a little more rapidly now. wario was sweating, his heart beating rapidly. yoshi licked his lips. suddenly a gust of wind blew wario's hat off behind him. "aren't you going to bend over and pick it up wario" asked mario with an evil grin.
wario turned around and bent over to pick up his hat. he gave his ass a little shake as he did so and yoshi couldn't hold back anymore. he ran forward and shoved his now fully erect peener straight into wario's ass, ripping a hole through his overalls and underwear. wario gasped and tried to resist at first. "don't fight it" said mario in a soothing voice "just relax and enjoy it. i have trained yoshi well" at this point a large group of toads had gathered to the scene.
the toads closed in and formed a circle around the two fuckers. after any particularly deep thrusts by yoshi the toads would erupt with cheers. the toads started becoming aroused and began rubbing themselves. yoshi began thrusting harder and faster while wario had his 8-incher out and was stroking it. this pleased the toads who began throwing coins at the two in between stroking their own peeners. mario and luigi were quickly pocketing all the coins they could like a boss.

cleaned my previous post like a boss