The name is a mouthful, and for that I apologize. The Children of St. Martha Elementary School is a (presumably) catholic elementary school only a 20 minute walk from my house. The building will not be shown here due to its generic nature, and also a potential fear of lawsuits, but I do assure you it's nothing special in any way, so you aren't missing much, beyond nostalgia for your days as a young child in catholic school.

The playground itself appears to be a very standard elementary school playground. Bright colors are abound, and its cheap, almost entirely tube-based structure is the same type that decorates schools lacking in creativity across the globe. With not even a wannabe gazebo in sight, I must deduct points for lack of rain-play-accessibility options. Also of note is that the ground is indeed gravel once again, around the same texture of that in our first playground of the series. Certainly not worth detracting points for, but it does highlight the architectural leanings of Lethbridge, Alberta.

It also has one of these. They're designed to speak to a friend across the playground using underground tubes that carry the sound, however upon examining my surrounding, I realized that I do not in fact have any friends to test this with.

Another day, perhaps.

The "zipline" unfortunately was rather stiff and required a decent amount of force to proceed down its rail. This is a bit of a disappointment, as the well-greased faster models of this playground accessory are quite enjoyable for all ages. On the flipside, the monkeybars-but-not-quite worked as expected, and provided a pleasant experience for the twenty seconds that they held my attention for.

Scattered throughout this playground were more little things to play with, similar to the last. I managed to clinch a win this time in tic-tac-toe, a harrowing experience if I do say so myself, but immediately afterwards, the steering wheel caught my eye. Now, I am no stranger to this device, however I have always found their presence on playgrounds to be lazy and pointless unless the playground is perhaps pirate ship themed, which this was certainly not. I was bored with these as a child, and I am bored with them as a professional reviewer.

Climbing up the tube from Chemical Plant Zone, I quickly found myself face to face with the first slide of the series, a very welcome sight indeed. This slide was excellent in every way, I am happy to admit. Smooth, fast, perhaps a little too short, but overall a very pleasant slide that they didn't actually have to recall for once, as they got actual human beings to design it.

Climbing across this thing, I was met with the sight of a two-person racing slide. I did not have a companion with which to test the competitive viability, however they did let me down, even as a single player experience. While the other one was a little too short, this one was far too short, to a rather dire degree. I don't see anyone besides actual children or Two_Finger being able to enjoy this particular attraction, unfortunately,

Finally, there was this wooden climbing wall, and a swirly slide (not pictured unfortunately). The wooden climbing wall lacked the problems of the plastic one from the previous playground. Unlike the slippery plastic rocks and pitifully short wall, this one proved to be fun for even the most inexperienced of wall climbers. The swirly slide was mediocre at best though. Towards the end, it was slippery and fast, but the first half was decidedly not slippery and fast, leading to this slide being akin to an unsatisfying fap.

the verdict: 6/10

Upon thoughtfully pondering this playground, as you can see in the above image, which also captures the swirly slide, I have decided that a solid 6 is what this playground has earned. Beyond a few frivolous or unpolished attractions and a lack of unique identity, it is definitely possible to have fun at this location. I would recommend it if you are a fan of climbing and slides, but for those who enjoy games such as "Grounders" or "Kira Game", I am afraid this may prove unsatisfying.

fantastic review



u hear that fucker? 6/10.

Did you check inside the yellow voice tube thing for a wasp nest? Every single one of those thst I have encountered in my life has contained a nest.

Did you check inside the yellow voice tube thing for a wasp nest? Every single one of those thst I have encountered in my life has contained a nest.

jesus fuck imagine being the kid that actually tried to use one

I never understood the point of those steering wheels either, nor have I ever seen a single kid actually playing with one