In the midst of not only pouring rain, but the thick, suffocating darkness of the night, I decided to pay a visit to Nicholas Sheran Park. Surrounded by picnic tables, a lake, and an entire firsbee golf course, Nicholas Sheran, unlike its deceased namesake, is a rather lively place and one of the nicest parks in town. It's also right near two bars, which do an excellent job of getting me to the point where I feel like reviewing playgrounds is anything beyond the actions of a complete fucking madman.

But does the playground measure up to the lofty standards of the park around it?

The first thing to notice about this park is the big gray plastic rock that leads onto the main structure when climbed. It's actually quite a good height, and even in the pouring rain wasn't too slippery or annoying to traverse. It makes for a much more interesting way to get onto the playground than the classic chain ladders or monkeybars that you see elsewhere, and makes you feel like a rock climber or mountaineer instead of the reality: a drunken, depressed man clambering around in the pouring rain at 9 PM.

On a less depressing note, it also has shredded tire as the flooring, making a fall from any height very well cushioned.

Upon examination of the outer workings, it becomes very apparent that the playground has a heavy focus on a train or mining theme, something that it adheres to and incorporates into its design very well. It's always a pleasure to see a playground with a good theme, and this one nails it. With the classic climbing tunnels being incorporated into the front of the train, and having several little "mine carts" scattered about to hide in, they provide the cherry on top of a promising location. In this regard, it gains quite a few points over the last ones featured on this show, which were both notably lacking in identity.

Stepping onto the train, it quickly becomes apparent that it does make for a practical design as well. Incorporating stepping stones into the structure, as opposed to just putting them off to the side is a golden move on their part. There's even some little tables with "stools" to sit and enjoy a meal or doodle at. How quaint.

There's another one of these fucking wheels though. At the very least, this one gets a pass because it makes noise when you spin it, which has some entertainment value, brief as it may be.

It also looks the spin dash from Sonic The Hedgehog, which may have been cool two decades ago.

One of the more impressive aspects beyond the theme are the sheer amount of traversal options. Monkeybars and climbing... things are built into the playground in such a way that they allow every level to be accessible from every other level, without needing to find a staircase. This interconnectivity reminds me of 2011's Dark Souls, which also allowed for the same thing.

I was hesitant to try this swirly slide, as it looked a little run down. However, a quick slide and a soaking wet pair of pants later, I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike the cockblock that was yesterday's slide, it was a nice ride all the way down, at least when wet. Unfortunately I cannot judge the slide when dry, but the weather apparently is determined to turn me into the darksydephil of playground reviewers and force me to give up.

Luckily this will not be the case, as I am dedicated to quality journalism in all forms.

Finally there's another segment over here. Similarly themed, although much smaller, it does boast some nice slides. They're a little short but just as good, if not better than both tonight's swirly slide and the good slide from last time. They're not TOO short though, so don't worry, non-manlets of the world.

THE VERDICT: 9/10

Damn, this one impressed me. Altogether great presentation and features make this an absolute hit. While it may not be legendary, this is perhaps the new gold standard for playgrounds in Lethbridge, Alberta. They used the superior flooring method, had some good design, good slides, and even found a way to make the steering wheel at least a little entertaining.

Bravo, Nicholas Sheran Park, Bravo.

In conclusion, to quote Velvet from Tales of Berseria: "I've got money in my pocket, but the bitches are free".

Now if you'll excuse me, I need a towel.

can we host the next kg here

pretty good

Holy fuck that's a nice playground actually.

Great review again too, extra props for doing it in the fucking rain.

the dark souls of children's playgrounds

Excellent review. Written like a true lord of calamity.

This interconnectivity reminds me of 2011's Dark Souls, which also allowed for the same thing.

i was going to say it reminded me of mario 64, but you're right, it is just like dark souls

This post was last modified: Sep 28, 2017 at 11:09 AM by Elyk.

i was going to say it reminded me of mario 64

Thanks now I'm imagining a playground where after you go down the slide or cross the monkey bars you get kicked out and have to enter through the main gate again.

jump backwards up the slide and come out in another playground