This post was last modified: Sep 17, 2017 at 3:48 AM by Fun With Despair.

So actually, this shitty catholic school has not one, but two playgrounds in total. Now, I know you're probably wondering why I didn't just use both in that first visit to this site, but trust me, the two are absolutely night and day, to a point where they can't even be compared. While the first one was a very generic metal playground, this one instead has something in common with Channing Tatum's acting: It's wooden.

Yeah, bet you never thought you'd see one of these fuckin things again.

Doing a quick perimeter sweep of this playground, the old metal of the monkeybars, combined with the re-purposed tires that make up the climbing wall really spoke to me in a weird atmospheric, nostalgic way. While we've had good playgounds, and shitty ones, this one just makes me feel like an actual kid again, back when these were actually common and not all replaced by metal. It's a weird feeling.

Also of note is a nice little sitting patio with some benches, for when you're tired after a rousing classic playground game of "Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil."

How quaint.

Of course we have another meme wheel. Counting the one I missed in my previous review, we're fucking 6 for 6 when it comes to meme wheels being present. This one though, and the apparent age of the metal brings an important question to mind: How far back does the meme wheel tradition go? Did children get genuine enjoyment from these at one point? Are they just leftover relics of a bygone era?

Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps it is better this way.

Up on the playground itself, we see another fucking relic in action: the wobbly bridge. I guess they're absent from playgrounds now for being "dangerous", but I fucking loved these things growing up, and walking on this thing was like an absolute flashback to the good old days. Holy shit. There's also this odd thing in the middle of the park that consists of monkeybars with a little rubber hammock underneath to cushion you if you fall. It's the first of its kind I have seen, but I think it's a unique and fun addition.

We also have a little crawling tube that leads to the tube slide, and an honest to god fireman's pole, ANOTHER playground thing that they just magically stopped making for some reason that probably rhymes with something that rhymes with safety. Again, great callback to better days, sliding down it felt good. The tube crawl thing was a little small though, and I feel like once again they are making the mistake of targeting children with their design philosophies.

In terms of slides, this little red metal one was sort of dick. Slick but once again just too small to really make any meaningful impact on my fun meter. The tube slide was nice though. You don't see tube slides much anymore either, but they do still exist. This one was smooth and was slippery right up until the end, however some misaligned plastic in the middle kind of hurt my ass, so I do have to dock a few points from an otherwise great slide.

THE VERDICT: 8/10

While lacking the theming and features that made the standout Nicholas Sheran great, as well as having somewhat shitty slides and a meme wheel, this second St. Martha playground is a great nostalgia trip for anyone who grew up near a wooden playground. It has some great unique parts on top of the nostalgia factor, but what clinches this high rating is how much it reminded me how great all the older features it had were. Fireman's poles, wobbly bridges, shit made of tires, it's a shame that modern obsession with cheapness and safety just killed the classic wooden playground and all the unique little things that this type had to offer.

the meme wheel's gonna be the end of my days

eh if you have a few friends and the playground isn't crowded the meme wheel (especially on a wooden playground such as this) isn't too bad for pretending to be on a cool pirate ship

woah that's an old-ass playground. pretty sweet, i love those rickety bridges too.

A staple playground if ever I saw one. I love it!

this one looks pretty good too

wow this playground looks pretty comfy! i like it, thank you for your reporting dsp

This post was last modified: Sep 18, 2017 at 3:12 PM by Spritanium.

@Fun With Despair If you ever find yourself in San Diego County, I know TWO playgrounds with giant plastic dragons you can climb on. I feel like you would appreciate the craftsmanship and the immersion this can add to play sessions

This one in your OP looks like the Knotts Berry Farm Ghostrider of playgrounds