This post was last modified: Oct 13, 2017 at 7:39 AM by Draku.

PART 5: HOW DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH SHIT THIS ASININE, PART I

I probably should have gotten to this earlier with how much I've brought it up already but I wanted to go for the character stuff first and foremost. So anyways this bitch Carol is a super old alchemist who wants revenge for the sake of her father who was burned alive for being a witch or some shit. Buncha dumbasses, he was an alchemist. Now, why wait until the modern day to enact such a revenge plan? Why, because she needs a lot of very specific garbage to line up all at once. Including the involvement of the Symphogear system! All for the sake of...

That's not Engrish or a bad translation, that's straight up what she says in Japanese.

Carol decides that with her father gone, she needs to complete his work as an alchemist. Which means dissecting the world of course! That's totally what he wanted the whole time. So she sits and waits on her ass for a few hundred years for the stars to align and gets to work on her great, well thought out plan. She lets a homonculus copy of her own body escape with a relic, the cursed sword Dainsleif. The homonculus, Elfnein, after a falsified half-assed chase from one of the dolls under Carol's command, successfully takes the relic to the organization in charge of the Symphogears. No one thinks any of this is suspicious at all and despite her being a replica of the enemy, they let her do whatever the fuck.

The amount of times the dolls spell out certain parts of the plan is downright fucking infuriating, especially on a rewatch.

The next step of the plan was to force Elfnein to be able to upgrade the Gears using Dainsleif. So, all of the Symphogears need to get broken first. Thus, we are treated to a slog of a pacing disaster in which every single Symphogear user has to lose a fight against the dolls and have their Symphogear destroyed, upon which the doll in question fucks off immediately. Again, no one ever questions why they'd run away right after achieving victory, despite murdering countless civilians via consuming their memories. What a great combination of elements, right? Not only does the show have to turn episodic right away so that this all can play out, the heroes are guaranteed to lose every single time and the viewer knows it from the outset. This takes up like half the god damned show!

Again, this shit is completely obnoxious.

With Elfnein trusted completely to mess and tinker with the delicate Symphogears despite EVERYTHING ABOUT HER BEING INCREDIBLY FISHY, and no one left on the government team having any idea of how the hell Gears work in the first place, she actually does upgrade them as promised with an Ignite module. This powerup channels the power of the cursed sword through the Symphogear and amplifies its abilities greatly, allowing them to combat the Autoscorer threat! Except of course all the dolls are trying to lose in the first place so the entire upgrade is bollocks. The real purpose of all this is, of course, relayed to the heroes after they've played completely into the enemy's hands in dramatic fashion.

Might wanna get that eye checked out.

As it turns out, the dolls, as their name fucking implies, are Autonomous Scorers, made to record the damned melody of Dainsleif when channeled through a Symphogear. Upon being slain, their bodies transmit the data back to Carol's evil base, letting her construct the full melody she needs to resonate with her stupid chime-shaped castle to dissect the world! Also said melody has the power of seven billion of the protagonists' most powerful weapon or some shit. So yeah, like 9 full episodes of the show are simply the heroes losing to and then winning against the antagonist troupe, except when they win they lose anyways. Real great way to structure your story. Wait, how does this shit even work anyways, there are 6 Gear users and she only gets like 5 of them to actually use Ignite against the dolls, of which there are 4. What were the specifics here to be recorded? Just any four Dainsleif powered songs and then she has the perfect formula she needs? I don't fucking get it. But that's not all she needs!

Nobody knows, Chris.

Anyways I need to stretch this shit out into 14 days, so despite having written up most of the second half of this already you all get to wait a whole day for it, losers. Peace.

Fuck Symphogear GX.

wait you actually paid attention enough to figure out what carol's dumb plan was? all i remember about GX is like a white buzzing sound after a couple of episodes and then when we finished it it was like i woke up from a coma

good write up!!! as always, you really are dissecting this entire series (baZINGA)