Did I ever tell you guys about the time I drove a guy insane?

So I was at a bar one day when I notice a real gritty-looking guy come in. He seemed terribly depressed, so being the nice person I am, I invited him to sit with me!

He goes on to tell me that he just came back from boarding school. While he was there, he met a girl that he really liked. It took no time for him to get a huuuuge crush on her, but alas, she wouldn't return the feelings. He said she fell for some edgy dude instead of him, and he was never able to confess his love for her.


I really felt sorry for him. Having his dream girl taken so early... how tragic! Almost makes me want to cry...


I tried to take the optimistic route and tell him that there were plenty of fish in the sea for him, but he seemed pretty set on that one girl. I was getting quite bored of the pity fest, therefore I decided to take matters into my own hands!

I bought him a drink and told him to just try to forget about her. I slipped in some... relaxants into his drink while he wasn't looking to try to take the edge off.


Turns out I made a boo-boo and didn't slip in what I thought I did! Hilarious!

The stuff I put in his drink wasn't a relaxant at all! It was... well, it should become clear what it was.


After he finished his drink, he started getting shaky and breathing heavily. He excused himself to the bathroom for a while... I thought he died in there! But nope, he came back about 15 minutes later. Still really shaky, but he seemed to have forgotten about the girl.

So much so that he started commenting on how... sexy everything was. From the bartender, to the girls dancing, to me, to even his glass, he just wouldn't stop being a horndog. He repeatedly kept going to the bathroom for 15 minutes each time.


He was clearly in no fit state to bring himself home, so I took him to a motel to let him cool down for the night. I'm such a good guy!


I went back to the motel the next morning to check up on him, but I couldn't find him anywhere... His clothes were strewn on the bed, though, which was weird. I was bored then, so I decided to turn on the TV. As I was flipping channels, I saw a news station reporting some bizarre story about a nudist running up and down the town.


And wouldn't you know, it was that same guy! He was eventually caught and arrested, and was never really the same again, so I've heard.


Only thing is, I don't remember his name well. I think it was... Kazakhstan? Kazooie? I have no idea...

Anyway, that's it for Kokichi's story time! I'm gonna go grab a soda now.

cool story but who killed twofinger

How are you not in jail yet?

How are you not in jail yet?

Let's just say I have connections. Besides, the police there make you look like a Harvard graduate!