So the time is coming for my sentencing so I thought I'd make a large post here summing up my current life situation.
For anyone who doesn't already know:
Early this year, about Jan 24th, I was in a car accident. The accident was largely if not entirely my fault and there was alcohol involved. I was kind of depressed about a girl and I had been a heavy drinker for a couple of years before this incident, so of course my plan to cope with the depression was to get absolutely blasted. Mission accomplished. I don't even remember leaving the bar with the girl that I went there with, but all evidence suggests that after I left, I decided to get into my car and drive home form the city (45~ min drive). At some point I took a wrong turn onto the on ramp and started heading the opposite direction of traffic down a stretch of high way. According to witnesses, other than the fact that I was going the wrong way, I was driving fine. After driving down this road for 12 miles I eventually got into a head-on collision with another driver.
Multiple injuries were caused to all involved. The girl I was with got very lucky. She made it out of the wreck with no serious injuries but she still had some knee damage. She is currently doing fine. As for the other driver and myself, I wish I could speak better of either of our condition. I got off easy with just both of my ankles broken. It sounds bad, but it's nothing to what happened to the other driver. She was air lifted to a nearby hospital and reported to be in a coma.
So now that you're all caught up let me explain the current situation.
I'll start first with the injuries as I'm sure you want to know how everyone is doing. The girl who was with me was back to normal after a week. I believe she walked with a slight limp for a bit after but she is back to getting wasted daily and doing God knows what. I haven't talked to her in months.
Crystal, the driver in the vehicle I crashed into, made it out of her coma. I want to say she was in it for 2 months, but I am not sure of the exact details. I have heard mixed things about her condition. I've heard she is conscious and is expected to make a full recovery. I've also heard she will never be able to function independently again. I don't know which to believe so I don't believe either at all. I'll know when I am told concretely. I do know that RIGHT NOW she is still struggling. She has trouble combing her hair and writing and communicating in general. I'll tell you my thoughts on all of this later in the post.
As for myself, I am in very good condition at the moment. Both of my ankles have healed very nicely. I can walk and go up and down stairs and do a hobbled jog but not much else. My surgeon has told me that things will improve with time, but as of right now my injuries are looking well.
Now I'll get on to all the legal stuff. I've been to court about this about 3 times and my sentencing is this Thursday (July 10th). I have already pleaded guilty to the chargers that were filed against me, that charge being 2nd degree assault. That means I did not get a trial, there was no jury, etc. I pleaded guilty of my own free will. I am also facing civil charges. The girl that was a passenger with me in my vehicle is suing me to cover for her hospital costs and grievances. This is kind of shocking--I understand she needs to have these things payed for and I WANT her to get her money, but both her and her lawyer know I have literally nothing. They could have went directly to my insurance instead of suing me over it first. Of course, my insurance is taking care of the settlement anyway, but suing me over it was an unnecessary step which makes me question the legitimacy of her lawyer but it's mostly water under the bridge at this point.
As for what will be happening this Thursday I am not sure. I will be given my sentence but no one knows what it will be until it happens which brings me to the next subject, consequences.
So this all sounds very sad and heart breaking and it really is but what does this all mean for me? Well, like I said, no one but the judge himself knows what is going to happen to me this Thursday but we can speculate. My lawyer thinks the best possible outcome at this point would be for me to get 5 years of SIS. SIS stands for suspended imposition of sentence. What this means is that the judge will give me a sentence (usually the max), but then tell me I will only get the sentence if I break probation. This probation can include any number of conditions, one of those being mandatory prison shock time. I will most likely get this shock time. 120 days is what I'm looking at. So I'll spend 120 days in jail, come out on a 5 year probation, and once that probation is served the felony will be wiped form my record.
Now, that is just one scenario, and the one I am hopeful for. The sentence I could get ranges from 1 day - 7 years in jail and a fine of $1 - $15,000. I've seen statistics for people in my position getting this charge and an alarmingly high amount got probation. I believe that 120 days jail time, 5 years probation is what I'm looking at.
Now a lot of people are very worried for me. I am very worried for me. I am very worried for Crystal. Most people ask me how I am doing but I don't think anyone understands how soul crushingly awful it feels to be the one who caused someone their life. She's not dead but I have robber her from having any sort of normalcy. It absolutely breaks my heart. I can't know how she is doing though, so I will speak only for myself. I have dealt with a lot of the grief already. I spent 10 days in the county jail when the warrant was put out for my arrest. I cried the entire time I was there. I cried the entire time I was in the hospital and for months after. I expected myself to be crying with my sentence being this close but it turns out I am very calm about it. I have accepted that I will have a punishment. For a while I was panicking and dealing with friend abandonment issues and the threat of never being able to recover and make a life for myself. But I have had a lot of support that I am very blessed to have.
The worst part is all the waiting. There is nothing I can feasibly do to make any of this better except sit and wait. There are many things in my life that time will take care of: my ankles, my jail sentence, my social suffering, my lack of employment and so on will all get better in the future. It just makes me feel really helpless.
So all in all I will be OK no matter what happens. I can only hope Crystal can make a life for herself as well. This tragedy will haunt me forever. I have scars on my feet that will never go away and will remind me of what I have done for the lest of my life but things can only get better from here.
tl;dr: I fucked up big and now I have to pay for it but I am doing well and things will get better.
For anyone who doesn't already know:
Early this year, about Jan 24th, I was in a car accident. The accident was largely if not entirely my fault and there was alcohol involved. I was kind of depressed about a girl and I had been a heavy drinker for a couple of years before this incident, so of course my plan to cope with the depression was to get absolutely blasted. Mission accomplished. I don't even remember leaving the bar with the girl that I went there with, but all evidence suggests that after I left, I decided to get into my car and drive home form the city (45~ min drive). At some point I took a wrong turn onto the on ramp and started heading the opposite direction of traffic down a stretch of high way. According to witnesses, other than the fact that I was going the wrong way, I was driving fine. After driving down this road for 12 miles I eventually got into a head-on collision with another driver.
Multiple injuries were caused to all involved. The girl I was with got very lucky. She made it out of the wreck with no serious injuries but she still had some knee damage. She is currently doing fine. As for the other driver and myself, I wish I could speak better of either of our condition. I got off easy with just both of my ankles broken. It sounds bad, but it's nothing to what happened to the other driver. She was air lifted to a nearby hospital and reported to be in a coma.
So now that you're all caught up let me explain the current situation.
I'll start first with the injuries as I'm sure you want to know how everyone is doing. The girl who was with me was back to normal after a week. I believe she walked with a slight limp for a bit after but she is back to getting wasted daily and doing God knows what. I haven't talked to her in months.
Crystal, the driver in the vehicle I crashed into, made it out of her coma. I want to say she was in it for 2 months, but I am not sure of the exact details. I have heard mixed things about her condition. I've heard she is conscious and is expected to make a full recovery. I've also heard she will never be able to function independently again. I don't know which to believe so I don't believe either at all. I'll know when I am told concretely. I do know that RIGHT NOW she is still struggling. She has trouble combing her hair and writing and communicating in general. I'll tell you my thoughts on all of this later in the post.
As for myself, I am in very good condition at the moment. Both of my ankles have healed very nicely. I can walk and go up and down stairs and do a hobbled jog but not much else. My surgeon has told me that things will improve with time, but as of right now my injuries are looking well.
Now I'll get on to all the legal stuff. I've been to court about this about 3 times and my sentencing is this Thursday (July 10th). I have already pleaded guilty to the chargers that were filed against me, that charge being 2nd degree assault. That means I did not get a trial, there was no jury, etc. I pleaded guilty of my own free will. I am also facing civil charges. The girl that was a passenger with me in my vehicle is suing me to cover for her hospital costs and grievances. This is kind of shocking--I understand she needs to have these things payed for and I WANT her to get her money, but both her and her lawyer know I have literally nothing. They could have went directly to my insurance instead of suing me over it first. Of course, my insurance is taking care of the settlement anyway, but suing me over it was an unnecessary step which makes me question the legitimacy of her lawyer but it's mostly water under the bridge at this point.
As for what will be happening this Thursday I am not sure. I will be given my sentence but no one knows what it will be until it happens which brings me to the next subject, consequences.
So this all sounds very sad and heart breaking and it really is but what does this all mean for me? Well, like I said, no one but the judge himself knows what is going to happen to me this Thursday but we can speculate. My lawyer thinks the best possible outcome at this point would be for me to get 5 years of SIS. SIS stands for suspended imposition of sentence. What this means is that the judge will give me a sentence (usually the max), but then tell me I will only get the sentence if I break probation. This probation can include any number of conditions, one of those being mandatory prison shock time. I will most likely get this shock time. 120 days is what I'm looking at. So I'll spend 120 days in jail, come out on a 5 year probation, and once that probation is served the felony will be wiped form my record.
Now, that is just one scenario, and the one I am hopeful for. The sentence I could get ranges from 1 day - 7 years in jail and a fine of $1 - $15,000. I've seen statistics for people in my position getting this charge and an alarmingly high amount got probation. I believe that 120 days jail time, 5 years probation is what I'm looking at.
Now a lot of people are very worried for me. I am very worried for me. I am very worried for Crystal. Most people ask me how I am doing but I don't think anyone understands how soul crushingly awful it feels to be the one who caused someone their life. She's not dead but I have robber her from having any sort of normalcy. It absolutely breaks my heart. I can't know how she is doing though, so I will speak only for myself. I have dealt with a lot of the grief already. I spent 10 days in the county jail when the warrant was put out for my arrest. I cried the entire time I was there. I cried the entire time I was in the hospital and for months after. I expected myself to be crying with my sentence being this close but it turns out I am very calm about it. I have accepted that I will have a punishment. For a while I was panicking and dealing with friend abandonment issues and the threat of never being able to recover and make a life for myself. But I have had a lot of support that I am very blessed to have.
The worst part is all the waiting. There is nothing I can feasibly do to make any of this better except sit and wait. There are many things in my life that time will take care of: my ankles, my jail sentence, my social suffering, my lack of employment and so on will all get better in the future. It just makes me feel really helpless.
So all in all I will be OK no matter what happens. I can only hope Crystal can make a life for herself as well. This tragedy will haunt me forever. I have scars on my feet that will never go away and will remind me of what I have done for the lest of my life but things can only get better from here.
tl;dr: I fucked up big and now I have to pay for it but I am doing well and things will get better.
Get it by your own hands.
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