Anything odd in or about the Keg? Odd smell, discoloration, chunks, anything that's not what's supposed to be there?

I had a more productive evening. I went to the Practical effects room for some arts and crafts on the 3D printer, which professional fearmonger Alex Jones walked in and insulted my art because I'm a gay frog. Talk about bigotry. I saw him go in the cold storage and leave with some stuff. Then from the stairs comes Kaede, asking me about flowers. I regrettably couldn't help her, so she wandered off to the guard station. I went over to the train for the food cart to carry my special project once it was complete, and on the way I saw the garage was pretty busy. After I got the food cart, I headed upstairs to the break room, where Dante is cooking his pizzas. I set to cooking my own stuff, during which I noticed the Other Monokuma go in the luxury washroom. As per the director's instructions, I backhand the bear with a frying pan so I won't get shot, and he yells at me about how everyone is decided to similarly attack him. Nothing personal, Pooh. Shroomguy made an appearance tonight, shortly before I left Dante to deliver the fruit of my labor to the wedding. Obviously, I took the cart to the elevator, and I took notice of the broken walkway glass.

At the ceremony, I set up my cake next to this old keg someone brought. Coffee and Kaede showed up before me, and we watch Honoka drag poor Xavier out of the workshop to perform the ceremony. Queue the groom arriving, obviously stoned and drunk, and he slaps Coffee. Xavier starts and Teddy and Alex show up. Alex steals the show with some boring speech, yada yada, then the vows are exchanged. They kiss and the party starts with music from Alex. Alex leaves and Shroomguy shows up. He B-lines for the food and late Dante shows up... well... late. He's yelling about how he has pizza and throws one right at my face. He jumps off the patio and goes full Rambo on the wedding party. He then proceeds to scoff and drink the spread. Party's over I guess. I collect the dishes and bring them to the break room sink, on the way I noticed a large box. I'm tired so I head to bed from there.

Can we check my cake for poison?

This post was last modified: Dec 14, 2018 at 6:30 AM by Honoka Kosakatua.

I'd like to compare Gnome's scissors to the wounds on Dante.

Has gnome given you permission?

[12:47 AM] Honoka Kosealatua: @Gnome can we compare the scissors TOM claims you had to the wounds on dante
[12:47 AM] gnome: tom would claim that
[12:47 AM] gnome: yeah you can do that

Anyone know where Trip went to, tonight? What did he see?

Anything odd in or about the Keg? Odd smell, discoloration, chunks, anything that's not what's supposed to be there?

The Keg is very old, and contains a strong ale. You feel as if taking even one sip would get you extremely drunk. It doesn't appear to contain anything besides beer though.

Can we check my cake for poison?

You check the cake for poison. It doesn't appear to have anything weird about it.

I'd like to compare Gnome's scissors to the wounds on Dante.

Has gnome given you permission?

[12:47 AM] Honoka Kosealatua: @Gnome can we compare the scissors TOM claims you had to the wounds on dante
[12:47 AM] gnome: tom would claim that
[12:47 AM] gnome: yeah you can do that

Gnome's scissors do not match the wounds, which appear to be made by a curved blade.

Pizza cutter Dante's wound comparison.

Has the pizza been examined? Can we do that?

Pizza cutter Dante's wound comparison.

The wounds appear as if they were made by a curved blade like a hook, or a claw shape, not a literal circle. So no, the pizza cutter does not match.

Has the pizza been examined? Can we do that?

You examine the pizza. There are several pizzas lying around the Racing Strip, but all of them appear to be safe and unpoisoned. They're Hawaiian though, so take that as you will.

I'd like to try a meat hook and a set of claws from something say... a bear rug that's somewhere. or a rake.

also let's do a medical check. Was dante's heart stopped due to digestion of the chemical in his stomach, or is there evidence of blood loss and trauma doing him in? Shouldn't be too hard to distinguish.

I really think this time I totally nailed the action scene. Thanks to MCD and Terezi of course. Speaking of those guys, I had a pretty cool night.



I was hanging out in that room with the computers, when this girl I've never seen before came up, and started talking to me. Apparently her name's Kaede? Cool chick, I guess. I told her a bit about that weird Wendigo dude, then went down to hang out on the Racing Strip. Mr. Jones showed up, and asked me to film the premiere episode of InfoWars: Studio X Edition!



I was hyped for my new location debut, so I headed with him to the Garage to set up. Teddie showed up, and they did their thing, but uh, I think Teddie pissed himself. Lucky for me, Terezi showed up with my favorite snack, Nachos! She asked me to go with her to film some stuf, and I did, 'cuz I wanted to get out of there before I learned more about Teddie's situation, heh.



We kinda walked around some of the rooms while she talked about they smelled, and had me film it. I was expecting something fun, and hey, lucky for me, I definitely got that when we went into the Screening Room, and MCD starting attacking her. They fought, and MAN was it cool. Like, they were really going at it. MCD won though, and she was out cold on the floor.



I kinda sat in there and watched Horsin' Around for the rest of the night. I met that Producer guy from Studio B too when he showed up! Either way, I'm just stoked I got to spend time with MCD. He's like, my hero!

can we get Xavier's testimony too

Alright you sons of bitches, I'm here. I'm gonna try and share what I know. I'm fucked up, both in real life and in game probably. So, do try to pay close attention...I will too.

I went to the practical effects place. Checked what was printed. A small bottle, and the topper for the wedding cake.

So, I saw Dante and Amoeba cooking in the Break room. What, I don't know. I wasn't hungry yet.

I see Coffee doing push ups. I respect it. Get those gains, but c'mon. Who you tryna impress?

East Walkway is fucking trashed, all the glass is broken. Sucks. So I'm in the Sarcophagus hall, right? The thing was open, just a dummy mummy in there, all wrapped up.

So I go bother Dante. I poke him a bunch to make sure I don't get fucking fired, and he tries to smack me with a frying pan. I didn't see Amoeba in there. I fucked off to the nice bathroom.

In there, it's another mess. Blood everywhere. I see The Other Monkuma waltzing out with some pillowcases, soaking wet. I go to unclog the toilet, looks like he already did it. Asshole is laughing at me.

I go back to my room to change for the wedding. Wanna look good, y'know?

I head to the racing strip. I spot the homies,
Shoey, Honoka, Coffee, Kaede, Amoeba, and a bear in a military outfit. I spot the keg and the cake and shit, only to find that the beer is warm. Shitty party, so I'm like fuck it, I throw some ice in my beer.

Dante is screaming and yelling about the pizza, throwing pizza at everyone. Amoeba is cool and takes my glass to be cleaned at the central tower, and at this point I realize I'm hammered somehow. A good party, after all, but that beer was fucked up.

Shoey is freakin out. His wedding is ruined, and Dante is the absolute ruiner. So he wants him to leave. I don't really care, since Dante was nice enough to bring pizza. Anyway, he leaves
Honoka scoops him up in her arms, and they leave. Coffee, Kaede, and Teddie are still there though. The Other Monokuma walks out of the Central Tower, and heads to join in on the litness, but That fucking Bear in the military outfit whips out his cane and starts smacking the saint peter's ghost out of TOM. I'm pretty sure he blacked out cuz of that, but I'm not here to judge.

Drunk as a skunk, I shamble around till I get to my room, where I tell the boogeyman that, the worst part about this place, is that you can only kill yourself once. I pass out from a glorious night of attempted plumbing, and successful drinking. Awaiting my next adventure.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it

Unbelievable. After a night of Dante harassing me and my friends, he has the nerve to follow it up with making a big scene by dying everywhere. What an asshole.

Tonight I needed a break like a KitKat bar (that's a Candy reference for those of you who are vegan), so I headed to the place I wanna go where everybody knows your name, they're always glad you came. I wanna be where I can see, the roubles are all the same. The breakroom.

On my way there I spotted a phantom computer just like in Celedon City in Pokemon Red & Blue for the Gameboy (Non-Gamers please leave, this is way over your head.) Or maybe it was just missing. Either way it definitely looked like there was a spot where a computer should be in the Editing Effects room where there wasn't one. What's a desktop assistant's favorite clothing? Software! Ha!

The sacophagus was open. Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? Ahhhhhhh put the pussy in a sarcophagus. Also to no one's surprise the East Walkway was smashed like an anime fan on prom night.

I get some delicious Wumpa fruit. Except it wasn't so delicious. Terrible actually. I ate it all so no one would have to suffer eating this nasty stuff. While I was there Yrr's dad???? came through the bathroom. Nice to meat you. We had a staredown and I saw the bathroom was a bloody mess. Welp, you know where I'll be tomorrow night!

Next thing I know Crash is PISSED at me and ready to fight. We have an epic showdown that would last for at least 20 dragon ball z episodes, or at least we would if Crash didn't immediately collapse. Must have been hungry. You're not you when you're hungry. Wonder if there's any snickers in the fridge?

I finish eating the rest of those nasty fruits when I hear a train crash below me. I know I should have investigated that a bit more, but I had better ideas to spend my night, so that train has sailed.

Time to replace my clown car with a Real car. Or at least I would, if I had any keys. Tired and exhausted (get it, because there's a car??? LOL) I decided the only way to get some rest around here is if everyone thinks you're dead so I lay down in the fake crime scene and play dead. Almost as dead as this crowd, you're killing me! (Please actually kill me tomorrow, I'll be in the bathroom. Preferably with explosives!)

I'd like to compare the strong chemical smell in Dante's stomach to the one that was used to kill Hannibal.

This post was last modified: Dec 14, 2018 at 7:24 PM by Xavier [Director].

can we get Xavier's testimony too

Please, you know full well where I was. And don't try to rope me into more stuff like that, I don't know how wedding vows work, you're lucky everyone had a ten hour long speech prepared so I didn't have to actually say anything.



...Either way, I didn't see much. Got kidnapped by Honoka right away to go perform the wedding ceremony, and had her ramble at me about avoiding doing it "atua style", but I wasn't going to do that anyway, considering apparently the Atua wedding requires a human sacrifice.

I managed to bluff my through the wedding vows, a job not made easier by the punch in the face from the bride to the groom. Real classy, guys. I swear to god.

Uh, after the ceremony I basically just got out of there as soon as possible and went to my office. I think Alex Jones left before me, but I wasn't going to hang around and get pulled into more shenanigans like Trip.

I'd like to compare the strong chemical smell in Dante's stomach to the one that was used to kill Hannibal.

The chemical in Dante's stomach does not appear to smell like the citrus-scented Drain Cleaner used to kill Hannibal.

Terezi has consented to sniffing out the chemical in Dante's stomach. We'll get to the bottom of this yet, people!

In the meantime, I'd like to check the state of the toilet in the bathroom itself.

Hello once again to all you beautiful, people! Crash is back yet again to help another fallen mascot seek justice!



Now as some of you may know Geoff Keighley had the honor and privilege of having me at The Game Awards this year, so if my account is a little light, it's because I was too busy partying! Anyways, let's get down to business:



Mario had expressed interest in a temporary truce of sorts, so my plan was to seek him out and inquire further. After all, us gaming icons have to look out for one another! We're dropping like flies left and right! So I left my room while I saw that bear entering his. The one that looks like they just learned about primary colors in art class.

I peered over to the Breakroom, and what do I find? What do I see?



Mario, arm deep in a crate of Wumpa fruit, digging away without a care in the world or any regard to any bandicoot bystanders. Oh, that's it.



Fuck this treaty shit. You wanna go ahead and Archduke Franz Ferdinand MY Wumpa fruit and expect me to watch your back? You got another thing coming. I walked over there to give him a piece of my mind. That sarcophagus thing was cracked open, but my tunnel vision cared for naught else than the fat red bastard waiting at the end of it.



BOOM I went to give him a swift wallaby wallop to the gut, but ended up nailing him in the chest. Mario must've known I would retaliate and put on some heavy duty armor like a COWARD, because my attack had no effect. He countered with a punch to the face, and I fell flat on the floor. He must've been roided out of his mind, because I could normally take hits like that for breakfast.



I fell unconscious after that, and to my knowledge that's where my night ended. Try that again tomorrow, Mario. We'll see what happens.