Hello again. It has been a tough week, but we are approaching the end. This is the last wave of patients. Today we have some questions about men's health. None of these questions are from me, I can assure you of that.

Patient 1

If you ejaculate, is that all of your sperm?

Patient 2

I think my Mom caught me jerking off?
I was jerking off in the living room home alone. I then started to watch Youtube and lost track of time. My pants were still down and there were some dirty tissues on the floor. My Mom came in 30 min later. I had enough time to slightly pull up my pants and just kinda sat down laying against the pillow. She definitely didnt see me frantically trying to pull my pants up. When she came in she just said hi. I was pretty quiet and not energetic as usual (trying to hide the fact my pants were not all the way on still haha). She asked if I was ok and I just mumbled yeah and she said she was going to go outside and get the mail. You could see my pants were pretty loose and kind of carried down but you couldnt see anything though, only a little bit of my boxers (as you could probably see normally though). I quickly threw out the dirty tissues and then out some new crumpled up tissues in the same spot. I laid down as I was and kind of kept my pants the same way as they were when she walked in (kind of looked like I was laying down and they pulled down a bit). She came back in later and was casually talking to me like usual. I was purposely sniffling my nose and using a tissue (still laying like before). She asked how I was feeling and I said I have a runny nose and my head hurts a bit (luckily I ve actually had a runny nose the past days which we mentioned beforehand). She gave me an advil and everything is as normal now.
Do you think she knew I was jerking off?

Patient 3

What is the most reliable website for Viagra ?

#1: YEP, YOU ONLY GOT ONE SHOT KIDDO! MIGHT AS WELL NEVER STROKE YOUR SHAFT AND SAVE YOUR LOAD FOR YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE! NOT ALL IS LOST, HOWEVER. IF YOU WERE TO SELL ME SOMETHING, I WOULD MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AN ENDLESS BANK OF WHITE STUFF! MAYBE...YOUR VIRGINITY?

2. LET’S JUST SAY YOU’RE GOING TO PRISON FOR A LOOOOONG TIME! SURE, GIVE YOUR EXCUSE THAT YOU WERE JUST WATCHING MATPAT VIDEOS AND YOUR PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT ALL YOU WANT, BUT JACKING OFF IS ILLEGAL, EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A MINOR!

3. MINUS.WORLD, OF COURSE! THERE, YOU’LL FIND MANY ENTHUSIASTIC VIAGRA EXPERTS WHO WILL HELP YOU WITH ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! COME BY DOWN ANYTIME!

>If you ejaculate, is that all of your sperm?

Yes, this is why you may feel sleepy afterwards. Your body has a defense mechanism in place to make sure you do not try to jack off twice in a short period, as it can be extremely deadly.

>I think my Mom caught me jerking off?

She knows and is just being nice, it's not very hard to deduce this sort of thing. Better start prepping your bags for when you skip town!

>What is the most reliable website for Viagra ?

AliExpress is the most reputable vendor, they have it for so cheap too!

@1 What? No.

@2 Of course she knows, stop jacking off in the living room. God.

@3 Avoid obscure or speciality sites for this kind of stuff- I'm sure you can find it at Walmart or some other big name and they're pretty obligated to be safe.

@1 What? No.

@2 Of course she knows, stop jacking off in the living room. God.

@3 Avoid obscure or speciality sites for this kind of stuff- I'm sure you can find it at Walmart or some other big name and they're pretty obligated to be safe.

YOU REALLY WANT TO PRETEND YOU HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND BY GIVING SERIOUS ANSWERS? I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR HYPOCRISY, PAL! WAKE ME UP WHEN OVERDOSING PATIENTS ON PILLS IS A LEGITIMATE WAY OF KILLING VIRUSES!

Listen, I'm a doctor. I know how these "bodies" work.

This post was last modified: Jan 12, 2019 at 8:51 PM by Aidan.

these patients are terrible. beelzebub, give me strength
patient 1:
it can be. see, fate is a cruel mistress: she'll take life just as swiftly as she gives it. if you aren't keeping yourself aware of your destiny, you could be stroking your sausage to an old maxim and draw your last breath. always check your horoscope!

patient 2:
You fool. You dunce. You charlatan. You jester. You ignoramus. No one can help you now.

patient 3:
viagra is overrated. a simple home remedy of crushed dandelions and toad spit will leave you more virile than a wicca colony on all hallow's eve.

patient 1 it depends. if you pee RIGHT after you cum, you might be able to get some new sperm made before your balls fill up with pee again. but be careful; many a man has accidentally dehydrated themselves trying to get as much sperm refilled as they can by not drinking anything so that they would not produce any pee to store in their balls, and dehydration can be very dangerous. leaving your balls empty of pee for too long can make them shrivel, too.

patient 2 i don't think she caught on, as long as you could hide your blindness and your hairy palms. to be safe, i'd carry a tissue box with you at all times, and learn to make your voice more nasally like you have bad allergies at all times. you might have to also show some of your boxers at all times; sorry, it's just your life now.

patient 3 try wikipedia

This post was last modified: Jan 14, 2019 at 4:43 AM by El Negro.

1: Yes, it is indeed all of your sperm. I'm sorry. However, the only known way to getting your body to create more sperm is by having sex, so you automatically generate them during the act. Remember how in Minecraft you could generate a random world but only once, until you made a new save? Kind of like that. Without the new save, of course.

2: ...do you like incest? In the case of yes: Then you're in luck, because in the internet there's plenty of incestuous pictures lying around that you might like. In the case of no: That's fine, it's very normal on your part. Now on the note of your mom spotting you like that, she knows, and probably keeps thinking about it up to this day. You should apologize for sticking it inside her head.

3: It took me a while to find one, I must admit, but I got one just for you. http://nazr.in/12W1. Oh wait, Viagra? I thought you were talking about things like http://nazr.in/12W2. In the case of Viagra, tell your doctor that you have an Erectile Dysfunction. It always works.

This post was last modified: Jan 14, 2019 at 4:43 AM by Stirling.

Patient 1

If you ejaculate, is that all of your sperm?

Unfortunately, yes. That's why you can remove your condom after ejaculation and immediately go raw.

Patient 2

I think my Mom caught me jerking off?
I was jerking off in the living room home alone. I then started to watch Youtube and lost track of time. My pants were still down and there were some dirty tissues on the floor. My Mom came in 30 min later. I had enough time to slightly pull up my pants and just kinda sat down laying against the pillow. She definitely didnt see me frantically trying to pull my pants up. When she came in she just said hi. I was pretty quiet and not energetic as usual (trying to hide the fact my pants were not all the way on still haha). She asked if I was ok and I just mumbled yeah and she said she was going to go outside and get the mail. You could see my pants were pretty loose and kind of carried down but you couldnt see anything though, only a little bit of my boxers (as you could probably see normally though). I quickly threw out the dirty tissues and then out some new crumpled up tissues in the same spot. I laid down as I was and kind of kept my pants the same way as they were when she walked in (kind of looked like I was laying down and they pulled down a bit). She came back in later and was casually talking to me like usual. I was purposely sniffling my nose and using a tissue (still laying like before). She asked how I was feeling and I said I have a runny nose and my head hurts a bit (luckily I ve actually had a runny nose the past days which we mentioned beforehand). She gave me an advil and everything is as normal now.
Do you think she knew I was jerking off?

Yes. Women of all species can smell sperm as a way of deciding which mates are viable.

Patient 3

What is the most reliable website for Viagra ?

http://minus.world/

Hello, Todd Howard once again. Due to limited resources, I’m confirming that all players only have one sperm pack in the game. There are two ways to regain jizz, however: Firstly, we’ll be releasing extra content in the future where players can buy more splooge so they can download it. Secondly, as they’re the backbones of all of our games, players can feel free to mod in their own sperm. How, you ask? That’s for you to decide. We’re grateful for your patience.

1. No, because your body will sacrifice more and more of your blood to turn into more sperm. Don't keep masturbating or eventually you'll run out of blood.

2. She knows. There's no way to escape this shame. You can burn down the house, kill her, kill everyone in the neighborhood, but nothing will erase it. Trust me, I tried.

3. www.viagra.com

Here are the compiled responses:

Yes, it is indeed all of your sperm. I'm sorry. You only got one shot kiddo. Might as well never stroke your shaft and save your load for your special someone! That's why you can remove your condom after ejaculation and immediately go raw. If you pee RIGHT after you cum, you might be able to get some new sperm made before your balls fill up with pee again. But be careful; many a man has accidentally dehydrated themselves trying to get as much sperm refilled as they can by not drinking anything so that they would not produce any pee to store in their balls, and dehydration can be very dangerous. Leaving your balls empty of pee for too long can make them shrivel, too. Fate is a cruel mistress: she'll take life just as swiftly as she gives it. If you aren't keeping yourself aware of your destiny, you could be stroking your sausage to an old maxim and draw your last breath. always check your horoscope!

Not all is lost however, there are a few hidden techniques to make sure you have an endless bank of white stuff.
Firstly, we’ll be releasing extra content in the future where players can buy more splooge so they can download it.
Secondly, as they’re the backbones of all of our games, players can feel free to mod in their own sperm. How, you ask? That’s for you to decide. We’re grateful for your patience.
Thirdly, the only known way to getting your body to create more sperm is by having sex, so you automatically generate them during the act. Remember how in Minecraft you could generate a random world but only once, until you made a new save? Kind of like that. Without the new save, of course.
Fourthly, your body will sacrifice more and more of your blood to turn into more sperm. Don't keep masturbating or eventually you'll run out of blood. This is why you may feel sleepy afterwards. Your body has a defense mechanism in place to make sure you do not try to jack off twice in a short period, as it can be extremely deadly.

Patient 2 has died on the operating table and been removed from the facility.

Avoid obscure or speciality sites for this kind of stuff- I'm sure you can find it at Walmart or some other big name and they're pretty obligated to be safe. It took me a while to find one online, I must admit, but I got several just for you:
http://nazr.in/12W1. Oh wait, Viagra? I thought you were talking about things like
http://nazr.in/12W2. In the case of Viagra, tell your doctor that you have an Erectile Dysfunction. It always works.
https://www.viagra.com/
https://minus.world/ There you'll find many enthusiastic Viagra experts who will help you wil all your problems! Come by down anytime.
https://www.wikipedia.org/
https://www.aliexpress.com/ The most reputable vendor, they have it for so cheap too!

Viagra is overrated, though. A simple home remedy of crushed dandelions and toad spit will leave you more virile than a Wicca colony on All Hallow's Eve.