This post was last modified: Jan 28, 2019 at 1:38 AM by Lotta Hart.

Howdy! My name's Lotta Hart, expert photographer, writer, cryptid hunter, murder witness, what have you.

I've been in a bit of a pickle, lately. Hired at a local newspaper, with the promises o' great scoops, free travelling and, most importantly, a good pay. You bet your money I'd join the crew in a heartbeat! After all, I'm best fit for the job! Wherever Lotta Hart goes, there's a story to be found!

Alright, alright, I guess that ain't true... sometimes. Here's the bad news: The boss up and left for some vacation, and he put me in charge of everything but the kitchen sink! Although, between you and me, the kitchen sink is definitely included in my tasks. Anyways, the big guy told me to ask you people to help me out on writing some articles here n' there. Darn tootin' I ain't gonna do this all by myself!

Here's the deal: I've got some categories to lay out for a couple of weeks. If you can make something worth looking at, I'll have it included in the papers. I won't be the only one judging, either. I expect y'all to vote on which article is the best, which will be compiled in one issue. You might not need to write something: the article might involve photography, comics or other sorts of stuff you can read in a definitely not biased newspaper. Best overall performance will win a prize, courtesy of me!

Each article will stack up in workload, which means everything has to be done by the end of our issue's deadline, no matter when it has started.

I'll be whippin' up the first article tomorrow, so get on your notepads! We've got an issue to write up!

This post was last modified: Jan 28, 2019 at 1:53 AM by Mr. Satan.

I can't wait, this'll be a cinch! They'll all see that selling almost everything I own so I could devote my life to reporting gossip wasn't a mistake!

Hello, I would like to suggest "Elders React" as an article theme.

This post was last modified: Jan 28, 2019 at 3:59 AM by Trip [Cameraman].

You uh, wouldn't happen to be looking for a cameraman, would you?

...After recent events I think it's time for me to find a new job...

This post was last modified: Jan 28, 2019 at 5:37 AM by Donovan D. Dawson.

This better be worth my time, the wife needs a new pair of tits.

Ooooh, I can't wait for this! My skills are finally going to be of some use! As fun as getting the inside scoop on class 3-A has been, it's time at last for my big break!

Lois Lane, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist of the Daily Planet here!

Ever since the Planet started this recent round of layoffs, I've felt like dipping my toes in some freelance work. Perry can tell me I'm safe all he wants, but he told Cat Grant and Steve Lombard they were safe, too, and look where they are now.

I'm always willing to take the risks for the job, and I could use a change of scenery after writing about the big blue Boy Scout for so long. Sign me up!