This post was last modified: Mar 10, 2019 at 2:03 AM by Bill Cipher.

SO I WAS SLEEPING AND ALL THAT, WHICH MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE I DON'T NEED SLEEP, WHEN MY NIGHT STARTS OFF WITH SOME RADICAL SKATEBOARDER POURING CODE RED MOUNTAIN DEW INTO MY EYEBALL! AND THEN HE ZOOMED OFF INTO THE FOYER! THANKS FOR OFFERING REFRESHMENTS TO YOUR LOCAL DEITY! ANYWAY, THE PLACE I GOT POURED IN WAS THE MINIBAR IN THE GAME ROOM, AND I STAYED SO I COULD POUR SOME DRINKS FOR THIS MANSION'S FINE PATRONS! THOUGH AFTER GETTING MARIOPANTS AS MY ONLY GUEST, I THINK I'M READY TO CALL IT QUITS ON THE BARTENDER BUSINESS! I GAVE HIM SOME BOOZE AND THEN BROKE THE BOTTLE, CASUALLY ASKING HIM TO COUGH UP THE DOUGH! AS YOU DO, RIGHT? BUT AS HE WAS DISTRACTING ME WITH HIS KNIFE, HE REACHED DOWN INTO HIS PANTS, PULLED OUT A LIVE BIRD, AND STUFFED IT INTO MY....HEY, I DON'T WEAR PANTS! WHAT KIND OF SCRIPT IS THIS, DEALER?! REGARDLESS, I THINK I'VE GOT A FAVORITE! HE'D BE A GOOD HOST!

I GO DOWNSTAIRS, WHERE I SEE COLUMBIAN COFFEE ENTERING THE TRASH COMPACTOR ROOM, AND GO INTO THE WORKSHOP WHERE I TURN THE TABLES AND MAKE AN IDOL FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR ONCE! AS I'M MAKING IT, THAT WEIRD LEGO THING TAKES SOME STUFF FOR HIS NEAT DEATH TOURNAMENT! ON MY WAY OUT, I PASS BY THAT COSPLAY CHICK CARRYING SOME RAW CLOTH AND CURSED FORTNITE ENTERING THE ARCHIVES! I GET TO MARIOPANTS'S DOOR WHERE I PUT MY CREATION AGAINST IT, AND I STEP BACK AND TAKE IN ITS BEAUTY: A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF THE MANTHING HIMSELF! THIS IS SURE TO WIN HIS FAVOR! AS I'M ADMIRING IT, COFFEE GOES INTO HIS ROOM CARRYING A SUIT OF ARMOR! FINALLY, I DECIDE TO SIMULATE SOME PISS BY USING MY """"INSTRUMENT"""" TO WHIZZ SOME YELLOW LIQUID ON IT! DON'T WORRY, IT'S ODORLESS!

I FLOAT MY WAY OVER TO THE GRAND HALL TO WAIT FOR MY NEXT CLIENT! THE CAT THAT'S COOL GOES INTO THE HALLWAY, AND POHATU LEAVES FROM THE ARCHIVES AND WALKS UPSTAIRS! AT LAST RONALD REIGEN COMES ON, BUT HE'S ALREADY CHEATING ON ME: WITH MISERY! HOW INCONVENIENT! I PUT MY PLAN ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW AND MOVE ON TO THE MAIN FOYER, AND WHAT I SEE GETS ME OUT OF THE DUMPS ENTIRELY! THERE I SEE SOME CADAVER RESTING UNDER A BEAR RUG WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER COMFORTABLY PERCHED OVER HIM! MODERN ART SURE IS A RIOT! I HEAD OFF TO THE BALCONY, WHERE GRIMM'S SHOVING HIMSELF INTO A DUMBWAITER AND BRUNO'S REALLY DIGGING INTO SOME PAINTING! IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME, PAL, I'M ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER! I THEN GO INTO A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT ROOMS FOR SOME COMPLICATED WHATCHAMACALLIT THAT I'LL ENLIGHTEN YOU ABOUT IN A BIT! REST ASSURED, THE ONLY THING I SAW WAS BRUNO GOING INTO THE LIBRARY WITH ME! AFTER I FINISH, I DASH OVER TO THE PERFORMANCE, AND IN THE MAIN FOYER I BUMP INTO KING RADICAL AND COOL CAT!

I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL AWARE OF THE PARTY THAT TOTALLY SERIOUS PERFORMANCE WAS! I LOVED THAT OPENING NUMBER WITH TWOFINGER DEMONSTRATING A TONY AWARD-WINNING PERFORMANCE AS A PRECOOKED SHISH KABOB, PROMPTLY COOKED BY GRIMM! BUT THE SHOW STILL NEEDED SOME MORE PIZAZZ, SO I JUMPED ONTO THE STAGE TO BLAZE OUT SOME DEATH GRIPS! THAT'S WHAT YOU HUMANS ENJOY SHOVING INTO YOUR FLESHY HEAD HOLES, RIGHT? BUT BOY, WAS THAT ENDING ANTICLIMATIC! GRIMM FELT THE NEED TO SPRAY LIGHTER FLUID IN MY EYE! ALWAYS THE EYE! WHAT A RIPOFF, I WANT A REFUND TO THE SHOW I PERFORMED IN! LASTLY, I FELT MY WAY THROUGH THE HALLS AND FOUND MY ROOM!

EDIT: SOMEONE APPARENTLY DOESN'T HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO HANDLE MY TONE OF VOICE, SO I'M DUMBING IT DOWN FOR THEM!

Lower Case: Show

So I was sleeping and all that, which makes no sense because I don't need sleep, when my night starts off with some radical skateboarder pouring code red mountain dew into my eyeball! And then he zoomed off into the foyer! Thanks for offering refreshments to your local deity! Anyway, the place I got poured in was the minibar in the game room, and I stayed so I could pour some drinks for this mansion's fine patrons! Though after getting mariopants as my only guest, I think I'm ready to call it quits on the bartender business! I gave him some booze and then broke the bottle, casually asking him to cough up the dough! As you do, right? But as he was distracting me with his knife, he reached down into his pants, pulled out a live bird, and stuffed it into my....Hey, I don't wear pants! What kind of script is this, dealer?! Regardless, I think I've got a favorite! He'd be a good host!

I go downstairs, where I see columbian coffee entering the trash compactor room, and go into the workshop where I turn the tables and make an idol for someone else for once! As I'm making it, that weird lego thing takes some stuff for his neat death tournament! On my way out, I pass by that cosplay chick carrying some raw cloth and cursed fortnite entering the archives! I get to mariopants's door where I put my creation against it, and I step back and take in its beauty: a cardboard cutout of the manthing himself! This is sure to win his favor! As I'm admiring it, coffee goes into his room carrying a suit of armor! Finally, I decide to simulate some piss by using my """"Instrument"""" to whizz some yellow liquid on it! Don't worry, it's odorless!

I float my way over to the grand hall to wait for my next client! The cat that's cool goes into the hallway, and pohatu leaves from the archives and walks upstairs! At last ronald reigen comes on, but he's already cheating on me: with misery! How inconvenient! I put my plan on the backburner for now and move on to the main foyer, and what I see gets me out of the dumps entirely! There I see some cadaver resting under a bear rug with a sledgehammer comfortably perched over him! Modern art sure is a riot! I head off to the balcony, where grimm's shoving himself into a dumbwaiter and bruno's really digging into some painting! If you were looking for me, pal, I'm on the bottom right corner! I then go into a bunch of different rooms for some complicated whatchamacallit that I'll enlighten you about in a bit! Rest assured, the only thing I saw was bruno going into the library with me! After I finish, I dash over to the performance, and in the main foyer I bump into king radical and cool cat!

I'm sure you're all aware of the party that totally serious performance was! I loved that opening number with twofinger demonstrating a tony award-winning performance as a precooked shish kabob, promptly cooked by grimm! But the show still needed some more pizazz, so I jumped onto the stage to blaze out some death grips! That's what you humans enjoy shoving into your fleshy head holes, right? But boy, was that ending anticlimatic! Grimm felt the need to spray lighter fluid in my eye! Always the eye! What a ripoff, I want a refund to the show I performed in! Lastly, I felt my way through the halls and found my room!

OBVIOUSLY RELATED TO THE MURDER, BUT LET'S INVESTIGATE THAT LIBRARY FOR ANYTHING OUT OF PLACE, WINK WINK!

Allow me to try something, perhaps it will be of use.

I would like to take the Sledgehammer and check around the manor for a place where it just looks like it may belong. Dust outlines, a rack it could fit on, a display case perhaps? Anywhere it may look like a Sledgehammer would be missing from, if you may.

Oh, poor TwoFinger, I was hoping no one would give in to the motive...regardless, here's what happened to me last night, although I'm not sure anything's relevant.

Waking up in my plain room, I went straight to the stock room to get some supplies for sewing. I gathered them quickly then went to head to my sewing machine so I could get to work. I passed by BILL in the hallway, who was carrying a Mariopants cutout. The cutout's presence made me uncomfortable, but Bill quickly went on his way and I'm not even sure he paid any attention to my plain self, so I just went into the workshop.

I spent most of my night in here, making costumes. I made five outfits in total for anyone to use - Hillary Clinton, an eskimo, a wulf, a red coat with a wig, and even one of myself! When I was finally done, I left into the grand hall, where I heard JUNKO crying, followed a scream and some box sound. I have no idea where she was, though.

I went into the foyer, where I watched GRIMM drag something into the trophy room. Following him in, I saw MOMOTAROS interviewing REIGAN and MISERY. I didn't hear what it was about; I merely slipped by and headed into the theatre to watch tonight's performance. Looking around, I noticed COOL CAT messing with the radio and staring at the costumes. He eventually left, though, doing the Macarena on his way out.

In the audience for the performance were ADELL, BILL, BRUNO, HEXUN, KING RADICAL, MISERY, REIGAN, ROZALIN, SLAYER, and myself. The show started, and it was an...event. It involved TWOFINGER'S CORPSE skewered and then set on fire by GRIMM, and Bill playing Death Grips and promptly having lighter fluid squirted in his eye. Following the disaster, Slayer screamed at the magicians and threw tea on the stage. He did a pose as he left, Rozalin followed him out, and then I headed out myself.

On my way back downstairs, I heard someone shout "STICKY FINGERS" and thought it sounded like BRUNO. I did not see him or anyone else, however, as I made my way back to my room to sleep.

OBVIOUSLY RELATED TO THE MURDER, BUT LET'S INVESTIGATE THAT LIBRARY FOR ANYTHING OUT OF PLACE, WINK WINK!

The library is still totally ransacked with books thrown everywhere. You'd have to be more specific.
Unless you mean this note on a bookshelf written in triangles that reads
"I have rivers without fish and roads without cars, I have deserts without heat and snowlands without cold, I have mountains without height and canyons without depth. What am I?”"

Allow me to try something, perhaps it will be of use.

I would like to take the Sledgehammer and check around the manor for a place where it just looks like it may belong. Dust outlines, a rack it could fit on, a display case perhaps? Anywhere it may look like a Sledgehammer would be missing from, if you may.

Well for a tool the first place you might think to check is the shop it came from. Sure enough, the workshop seems to be missing a sledgehammer.

Where does the sledgehammer look like it was dropped from? The balcony, or from the window in the future hall?

Where does the sledgehammer look like it was dropped from? The balcony, or from the window in the future hall?

What means would you test this by? Currently it is lying on the ground near the scene simply.

This post was last modified: Mar 10, 2019 at 4:37 AM by King Radical.

Is the body/splat closer to the window that is open in the future hall, or any other side of the balcony?
I'd also like to investigate the balcony.

Is the body closer to the window that is open in the future hall, or any other side of the balcony?
I'd also like to investigate the balcony.

The body is closer to the theater. But if you meant the hammer, it seems to be closer to the balcony, albeit a decent distance away.

The balcony appears as bland as ever for a general search. The Dealer has kept it looking quite nice.

This post was last modified: Mar 10, 2019 at 5:28 AM by Isabelle.

Since people have decided that they no longer want to play nice i suppose it is time to give my account.

I began the night by heading into the Stock Room to gather a few things. While i was in there i was alerted by the sound of a door and decided to head back into my room. When i entered i was greeted by a fiend gathering all of my belongings into a sack. As soon as they noticed me they knocked me unconcious and fled the scene.

I do not know how long i was out for but when i awoke i was greeted by the sound of someone yelling at CoolCat and Coffee. What a horrible scene. I ran past them in order to avoid whatever that was just in time to watch Francis Shoemaker throwing a bunch of junk around.

As i had actual plans to visit Reigen i decided to head upstairs only to see Coffee trying to destroy the chandelier! He seemed pretty sorry after i gave him a scolding though so i left him be and headed to the idle room.

Reigen was nowhere to be found so i sat around and waited for him. He eventually returned looking extremely tired and passed out almost instantly. I was pretty tired too so thats where i fell asleep.

Looks like you losers need some help with this case, 'cause most of you seem to just be drooling into the carpet at this point. Fine! I'll babysit you today but don't expect my generosity to last forever!

First thing I did was head upstairs to the kitchen, on the way I saw some black and white whack-job grinding up the star's railings. I saw Slayer in the Dining Room before reaching the kitchen there I found some tablesal- I mean, rare and mystical, anti-ghost pink rock salt! I see Rozalin on my way out, boring. Back in the main foyer, Halo 2's headed upstairs and Slayer's got "supplies" with him headed to the Game Room. Coffee's headed downstairs and fox mask is passing through. Halo 2 and I go into the Future Hall, and mario pants goes into the Museum with the others. In the Future Hall, I grab a quality folding chair (yes, that's what's missing from Future Hall)

With my powerful salts and a new chair for Reigen's office, I enter the former idle space, accomplished for tonight's mission. As I step inside the chaos unfolds in front of me. A loud roar, Halo 2 ejaculating like a hunter's arm cannon, papers flying everywhere. After seeing Drool Cat's self-pleasuring yesterday, and Halo 2's spunk collage tonight, I'm gonna need Reigen to exorcise my PTSD in several appointments.



Just as I set up the chair, some dork in a dog mask walk's by, and Misery comes in to join the ruckus. After insisting to Reigen that I can totally help his business, I demonstrate my massage skills and another dork comes in wearing a hawk mask. (Mardi gras was last week, nerds) Halo 2 and Falco leave, Misery is here as I finish Reigen's massage, and Misery asks Reigen to follow him, heading into the future hall. (It's 2019, guys. It's okay if you wanna show your boyfriend some affection in front of me) They jump out the Future Hall window with a grappling hook... nani???

I wanted some white fabric for my next project, so I made my way downstairs passing Grimm, this is when I see the body of a mutilated bear on the floor. I head to the Coat Room and standing there is Dog mask looking like a total creep, they notice me and I grab my fabric and run but not before I alert anyone nearby of the pervert's presence.



I run past Cool Cat and Tsumugi carrying her costumes on the way to my room where that horrible piss-stained cutout is cut up on the floor.

i did some more looting and saw a bunch of people

i did some more looting and saw a bunch of people

You are completely and irreversibly worthless.

SO I TAKE TWO WATERMELONS FROM THE KITCHEN AND LAY THEM OUT ON THE MAIN FOYER, RIGHT? USING THE SLEDGEHAMMER, I SMASH ONE WATERMELON IN THE FOYER, AND I DROP THE HAMMER ON THE OTHER ONE FROM THE DEN WINDOW! WHICH ONE RESEMBLES THE CRIME SCENE MORE? (IN TERMS OF BLOOD SPLATTER, DAMAGE ON THE FLOOR, ETC)

Sorry for being late with my debriefing, commander.

I heard Two_Finger was trapped in the master bedroom so I made it my mission to go and free him. However, when I arrived I was told that not only was he not there, but no one had been in the room at all. Very strange.

I was told that there was a clock that needed fixing, so I head to the workshop and investigate the clock. The clock works just fine- it's just fake! Why would someone tell me to fix a fake clock?

With two mission objectives turned out to be junk, I head to Reigen Arataka's office. On my way there I notice a Fox Mask person being chased, so I join the hunt. It leads me right near the office, so I just head in there instead. I have an issue that I want to talk about with them, it's confidential so I'll leave it out of the mission report.

Next I head to the Servant's Quarters to collect the quarters. I find $1.25. Mission Accomplished.

I head to bed after that.

Here's a breakdown of who I saw and when:

• In the IDLE SPACE, I saw Reigen Arataka sleeping with a bear rug.
  
• In the Main Foyer, Bruno Bucciarati and Adell are sleeping. Slayer was not there.
  
• On my way to the Workshop, I passed by Junko.
  
• When I leave the Workshop I notice a Fox Mask person being chased? by Coffee. I join the chase and pass by Junko and we end up in the History Hall. Fox Mask is looking for something but Reigen's office is nearby so I go there.
  
• A loud ROAR comes from the room and someone in a Bear Rug runs past me. I head into the office and Reigen Arataka is there. Junko is there too at some point (not sure if they were there before I entered or after?) and Misery the Inconvenient enters as I leave.
  
• Grimm is patrolling the bedroom hallway.
  
• The Servant's Quarters is trashed by the time I get there.
  

Do tell: How is the hammer embedded within the skull in my photograph?

SO I TAKE TWO WATERMELONS FROM THE KITCHEN AND LAY THEM OUT ON THE MAIN FOYER, RIGHT? USING THE SLEDGEHAMMER, I SMASH ONE WATERMELON IN THE FOYER, AND I DROP THE HAMMER ON THE OTHER ONE FROM THE DEN WINDOW! WHICH ONE RESEMBLES THE CRIME SCENE MORE? (IN TERMS OF BLOOD SPLATTER, DAMAGE ON THE FLOOR, ETC)

You test your hammer theory.
The dropped/thrown hammer crushes the melon and embeds itself in the melon.
The swung hammer splatters the watermelon across the floor. It does not match the mess made in the foyer.

DID THE HAMMER DROPPING ON THE WATERMELON MAKE A "THUD" NOISE OR SOMETHING LOUDER?

Do tell: How is the hammer embedded within the skull in my photograph?

It's dark, but now that you look closer, yes, something is sticking out of the head. A bit lopsidedly.