Ok hear me out.

BREAD AND WATER IS FUCKING DELICIOUS

Is it weird to think that? I know there's various kinds of water, filtered, mountain, spring, etc. But there's that pure crisp water that you find at some point that's just like sucking from the teets of Zeus himself. Not that mineral water or sparkling water lookin ass TV static tasting shit, I'm talking real water. And bread too. They do some fancy shit bread that just don't make sense, but then they got shit harder than a rock. But again, there's that one bread that's just the right crispy, fluffy, tasty, toasts the right way kind of bread that you slather mother nature's taste good additive (butter) and your other toppings of choice and BAM, fucking meal. Not to mention you can put this shit into sandwiches for twice the bread and even more topping mania.
Anyone follow me? And miss me with that "they tasteless shit", if you think that then litterally go suck your own dick because I bet your semen tasteless too you boring ass lank of a taste bud killer.

bread is one of the best foods on earth and everyone that hates it for being "plain" is a loser

do you know what bread is made out of? grains. and do you know what they feed livestock to fatten them up before eating them? yep, it's grains. bread is just making all of america fat and lazy. do you think china has bread? they don't and it's why they are beating americans in math, science, and fitness. think about it. back when man was feral in the jungle did we have bread? nope we sure didn't and we we fit and healthy then. we survived without it and did a damn good job of surviving too. men were men back then. they hunted their prey and defended the tribe. bread has no testosterone in it. it just makes you fat and lazy. so you keep eating bread and ruining humanity, turning us into fat lazy livestock and i'll be over here, eating nothing but real meat.

man cannot live on bread alone, I know, I've tried that shit

not with that attitude

tiger bread is a good type of bread and one of the supermarkets around here does tiger bread with cheese melted on the top and honestly, that toasted with butter is goddamn amazing

I just had that chillhal roll or w/e it's called and it was so good I ate the whole loaf in one night. Reminded me of pretzel bread but wasn't as tough in the skin(?) and didn't toast well. But damn was it good to just chew on.

do you know what bread is made out of? grains. and do you know what they feed livestock to fatten them up before eating them? yep, it's grains. bread is just making all of america fat and lazy. do you think china has bread? they don't and it's why they are beating americans in math, science, and fitness. think about it. back when man was feral in the jungle did we have bread? nope we sure didn't and we we fit and healthy then. we survived without it and did a damn good job of surviving too. men were men back then. they hunted their prey and defended the tribe. bread has no testosterone in it. it just makes you fat and lazy. so you keep eating bread and ruining humanity, turning us into fat lazy livestock and i'll be over here, eating nothing but real meat.

I've seen your selfie and I'm not convinced.

bread is dumb

pumpernickel and slightly colder than room temperature water