It's the moment you've been waiting for wrassle fans. The thrilling climax to the Real Fake Virtual Fake Real Wrestling tournament. The FINAL ROUND. Eight hopefuls* entered, now only two remain - Trip the Cameraman, and Mariopants the.

But before now, all they've had to contend with was the foreign weapons and tables found underneath the ring. Now, with the championship belt on the line, it's time for hell in a cell.

Let's find out how it ends, in TRIP vs MARIOPANTS!






*: Seven, excluding Negative Man.

I have returned, and I want one thing. To claim the RFVFRW championship belt. So I am cashing in THE GOOD SHIT.

...I had hoped the Coward would be the one I'd rip it from, but it seems he has yet to recover from the thrashing I gave him. A shame. At least this will be more of a challenge.

Face me, cameraman. This isn't about you - it's about your belt.

Even with the thundering rain outside, you can still hear the noise of the crowd as it funnels out of the stadium, having just finished watching Hideo Kojima cash in the Good Shit, and try to claim the belt for himself from the new champion. Even now you can see people filing out, through the brightly lit car park.

"Real Fake Virtual Fake Real Wrestling would like to remind everyone still in the stadium that the combined gift-shop-and-shrine is still open, selling fantastic memorabilia such as RFVFRW t-shirts and small statues of Atua."

This room, however, is dimly lit. The noise of the crowd, while still hearable, is muffled. A window offers a view of the goods-entrance of the stadium, where the occasional truck passing briefly lights up the room.

As a truck laden with unsold t-shirts with Negative Man's face on it passes by, the light reveals a desk with a free standing microphone on it and a figure sitting behind it, lit only by the cigar in their mouth. Opposite of the desk, a screen on the wall reveals the now empty wrestling ring.

"As a reminder, all wagers, stakes and bets on official RFVFRW matches are wholly unsupported, and we implore you to take up all such matters with Mr. Flash, who is waiting outside in his booth."

The rain really isn't letting up. It was initially a light shower, but as the final matches continued it has steadily increased. You can barely hear the next truck coming now, as it lights up the room, revealing a few empty bottles of beer, with a picture of a grizzly bear giving a thumbs up on the side.

"Real Fake Virtual Fake Real Wrestling will not be compensating attendees for any physical injuries caused during the event. However, for emotional counselling after watching Mariopants wrestle, please flag down a RFVFRW rep and we will book you in as soon as possible."

Another truck full with unsold memorabilia - this time, of officially licensed Mariopants pants and mugs with Todd Howard's face - reveals more of the figure sitting at the desk - a peaked military cap, epaulettes...

"Finally, we at Real Fake Virtual Fake Real Wrestling have one last thing to say.


Thank you beary much."

Good Garrison.

This post was last modified: Jul 31, 2019 at 3:59 AM by Elyk.

I'll take the Mariopants pants.