Don't be shy!

Well, first I'd set a trap outside your bedroom, but that would only be a fake attempt, never meant to work. That way, I could bring it up as my murder attempt for the night, and potentially help me out a bit when it comes to suspicion. This is what they call an "alibi", kids.

In truth though, I'd be down in the coatroom, hiding between four clothing racks put together to form a bunch of squares walls around me, while a bunch of coats on a mannequin with a wig sit out in the kitchen, in a position that makes it look like that is in fact me, KO'd on the ground. From my spot in the coatroom, I will be quietly sewing together a costume from the material, perhaps a plague doctor costume or anything I would actually wear, but like a fursuit or something that might put the blame on someone else.

From there, I will exit the coatroom from the side furthest from the Kitchen and make my way around as far as possible from where I will claim to be passed out. I'll enter your bedroom and lie down in your bed as if to sleep, pointing the gun at the door. The second you open the door, I will shoot you from your spot in the hallway, then leave, weekend at bernie's style moving your body into two finger's room next door and placing you in his bed.

If two finger is in bed himself, I'll just choke him out with his blankets until he's KO'd and basically do about the same thing. I'll climb in bed too, and from my position on top of the bed, I will tie all your bedding into a string of sheets and blankets to climb with. I'll toss it out the window from atop the bed and jump out, grabbing the rope. Then, I use the rope to climb into drei's window on the other side and dump my costume in the closet.

His bedsheet is now mine, as I turn it into a ghost sheet and wear it, exiting. Trying to avoid as many people as I can, I make my way to the Kitchen and throw the sheet and mannequin into the oven, putting it on max temperature and destroying any evidence. I'll put on the coats I was "KO'd" in, and go up to bed after finding Agastya and breaking a bottle of rum over his head.

turn your bedroom door knob into a bomb

call the fbi over a bomb threat

lego bricks on the floor should stop you

pee

ah yes... hoist by his own feetard

probably through a huge multi-paragraph writeup that covers all of the bases and then doesn't roll

First I would wake up and remove the underwear from my dresser. I would summon my boogeyman from under the bed and bribe him with the delicious fabrics to claim that I had come back for the evening later.

Then I would go downstairs and remove my hand. I would pose it to give the middle finger and then put it on display in the trophy room. After that I would head back upstairs and into your bedroom where I would hide inside your closet. Once you return to your bedroom and lay down to rest I will emerge. Using my one hand and super strength I will then strangle you.

After you breathe your last breath I will return to hiding in the closet. Later on John Freeman will visit and blow up your corpse with a rocket lawnchair. The blast will knock me unconscious and cover me with soot.

I would patiently observe someone else murder you, proclaim their guilt, and then be satisfactorily lynched for it.