Hello, Minus Worlders, I am Todd Howard. It seems you use Bethesda a lot, which is great. At least, that's what our below-zero player counts on Fallout 76 tell us. We hate to ask you this, but, well, after we made the misguided decision to make a membership service solely for our game that's obviously being slept on by fans worldwide who don't know any better, times have been tough. We are morally obligated and bound through an unbreakable Sumerian contract to not lay off any of our workers, so instead, developers have been sleeping on our floors, we've had to burn our clearly canvas promotional bags for warmth, and we just went through our last intern last Monday. He was slightly undercooked. For the sake of our survival, we've been depending on generous donations. If each of you could give a small amount of 500 EX points, the price of a [insert favorite day of the week here] autoplay spell, we'll be able to sustain ourselves again, instead of simply taking the time to make our games actually function. Thank you for your patronage.

fuck you todd i just bought rust to spite you

Oh, of course you'd rather trust a game with a Metacritic score of 69 than me.

how to read

O Godd Howard, might you bless us with a sneak peek of that which shall be?

hey todd since theyre cancelling e3 you should just show us some footage of that new fallout: 76 dlc

We assure you that we are hard at work on Fallout 76 Season 3-76. We recognize that the coronavirus is a serious issue, but not to worry, Bethesda workers will keep working in our studios. We intend to pounce on the opportunity of this new, vicious bug by using it to inspire bugs for our own games. One of our playtesters has already passed out after sweating profusely, but we won’t take any chances, so we’re throwing him in the “fire room” with all the other interns who’ve “worked too hard”. In unrelated news, we’re pleased to announce that you can receive a free coronavirus gift when you preorder The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim: Battle Royale. Thank you for your patronage.

this is the most insidious use of stickin around ive seen
fuck you b man