As usual, we will begin today's review with a story about the trip to get the food. Today I had to venture into the city to reach my local Domino's. I attempt to avoid this place as often as possible because parking is awful and there are some weird people hanging around. You want an example? Today there was a guy in a pick up truck tossing office chairs into the street. I wanted to take a picture because I didn't think anyone would believe me without it, but my desire to not bring this man's malice upon me was far greater. I diverted my eyes as I walked the block over to pick up my food.

Spinach & Feta Pizza

The box contains a helpful flowchart on what makes a great pizza. I want you all to take note that according to this flowchart a pizza may not have sauce but always has cheese. This is important.

The pizza that was requested was the Spinach & Feta Pizza. I ordered this thinking to myself, spinach and onion are vegetables, therefore this should be healthier than a lot of the other trash I consumed this week. I was wrong.

The pizza is overflowing with cheese. There is just too much. Underneath the cheese is an alfredo sauce. If you're not familiar with alfredo sauce, it is also made with cheese. It might be a bit hard to see in the image but there are pools of grease there too.

I took a bite and the only thing you can taste is the cheese, specifically the mozzarella. According to Domino's site in addition to the alfredo and mozarella there should be feta, parmesan, asiago, and provolone. I do consider myself an expert on cheeses and I couldn't find any of those in there. I have also had spinach pizza before and you can usually taste the bitterness of the leaves, but here you once again only taste the cheese.


Here is a close up shot to hopefully give you a better idea of how dripping with cheese and grease this thing is. I put it aside after consuming half of the pizza.

2/5
All this cheese is going to cause some serious blockage.

Boneless Chicken

This item is listed along with their wings. I expected it to be an attempt on a boneless chicken wing but really they're just pretty standard chicken nuggets. They actually weren't bad. Maybe my standards were lowered after the other terrible chicken nugget attempt I witnessed this week.

4/5
If you're a madman that wants to order chicken nuggets from Domino's then you can't go wrong with these.

Domino's Marbled Cookie Brownie™

Did you know that Domino's has dessert items? Why would you? I have never seen anyone order this shit ever. I decided to give their brownies a chance after I was pleasantly surprised by some dessert items earlier in the week. Unfortunately Domino's can't fill the shoes of its predecessors... even when those shoes are gym sneakers. I expect that I was the first one to order one of these in years. If you told me that they had to scrounge around in their freezer to find one and just tossed it into the oven to heat it up I'd believe you. As a matter of fact, I already believe it.

Anyways, I ate it. It was still warm, which was nice. It wasn't very good though. I don't really know how to describe it, but it was unpleasant. I also found that the underside was dripping with, you guessed it, more grease!

I don't even know how you managed to do this, Domino's.

2/5
Greasy and probably frozen.

I may have to take a break tomorrow.

the chicken bite things are actually good, especially if you get them in a barbecue or hot sauce
fuck their dessert items though why do those exist

I've ordered their desert items before. They're simply OK. The chocolate lava cake is probably the best one they have

i've never ordered dessert from dominos, but i CAN say that the bigass cookie pies you can get from papa johns are fucking amazing. but that's irrelevant here.

that is a ton of cheese what in shit. but i guess that as you said, it's meant to have like a million different cheeses on it. even on a pan pizza with extra cheese i've never seen them overload on the cheese that much and that's saying something. note to self to not order any items that have more cheese types stacked on top from dominos.

never had their chicken but am pleased to know it's good. maybe i will try it next time i order since they are trying to kill off their hoagies for no reason and are supplanting them with garbage sandwiches.

draku puts his pee pee in the domino pizz that why he like it so much

dominos is good as fuck here but then i also dont get the spinach and fucking feta pizza

dominos is good as fuck here but then i also dont get the spinach and fucking feta pizza

damn. called out