It is with a heavy heart that I regret to inform you all that our sister facility, Yahoo Hospital, is being closed down. Since 2005, Yahoo Hospital has served trillions (estimated) of patients. They may have had an embarrassingly high mortality rate, but they had the spirit where it counted.
I was personally trained at Yahoo Hospital and have 300 confirmed ki- no, malpra- sorry, ...patients no longer suffering... from my time there. Some of you might also remember a few years ago when we greatly helped their facility by taking some patients on in their stead. We might not have delivered as high quality of care as Yahoo Hospital provides, but by damn did we deliver some care.
Yahoo Hospitals might be closing down but they will be survived by its siblings, Yahoo Life and Yahoo Finance. It is expected that they will both continue on for several more years to come. Yahoo News, the head of the family, was quoted as commenting "Our reputation may never recover." in response to hearing about Yahoo Hospital's closure.
As of today, Yahoo Hospital has closed their doors to new patients. All current patients will be evacuated or euthanized by May 4th. Between now and then I will be doing my best to procure the highest quality patients and post them in Minus World Hospital's Recycling Ward. Feel free to interact with them as you please. I encourage all of our staff to join me on this effort and archive as many great pieces of medical history as possible.
If you are lost, you can find your way to Yahoo Hospital by clicking this link: https://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?sid=396545018