I'm getting lucky lately with some of these, I have to say. No more creeping around in the dark like a slasher villain taking photos of a children's playground. Not that it's any less weird to do it during the day mind you, but at least there's been no one around.

The unfortunate downside to having to branch out somewhat and travel is that it becomes increasingly difficult to do it in the middle of the night like I used to. This is also why these are taking a while to get out, though I do intend to review at least ten still - I have to go out and do this shit on my days off only because I can't fit in the time slot on my work days. The other negative to this approach though is simply the lack of atmosphere. Alas, it is unlikely that we'll get any more spooky Silent Hill-esque playgrounds this time.

Nonetheless, I remain resolute in my quest, and today I am here to bring you yet another playground.

Wow, how shiny and... naturally lit!

I've got a lot less lore on this one than the previous one. You won't be finding a Son of the Pharaoh here, this one's just your average playground in the middle of a fuckoff suburb. Nothing to see here, except more nothing. And this playground. Even from back here, you can basically get this gist of what this place is like. No real theme or gimmick going on here, just a play structure sitting in some gravel, which is a welcome change of flooring from the wood chips of the last one. I'm unlikely to get a splinter or some kind of horrible infection from this place.

I don't know if I've ever commented on this before, but I feel like blue, red, and yellow are the most common color schemes you usually see on playgrounds. Occasionally you'll get a green or something, but if that's the case usually the whole place is JUST green. I guess they are the primary colors, but it'd be nice to get some purples in there, or maybe a burgundy. Mauve, anyone?

Surrounding the playground are the usual suspects - a climbing wall, some monkeybars, stepping stones, ladders, couple of those spiral... things you climb on. The climbing wall here doesn't have a rope or anything this time either, but it's got much better grips and places to put your feet as you climb. Being a grown man and not a small child though, I'm not really getting the full effect either way.

The monkeybars are alright, high enough up off the ground that I could still feasibly use them if I wanted. There's a fireman's pole attached too, which is slippery enough and doesn't have that "old playground" problem of chipping paint that rends the skin from your hands like a meat slicer to deli ham. Stepping stones are standard fare, you walk across them and try not to fall off like a dumbass moron. Similarly, I've got nothing interesting to say about the ladders. They work, which is about the bare minimum you can expect.

One of those spiral climbing things is sort of interesting, though it's not any of the red ones made of the same tubing as the rest of the playground. In the background of one shot, you might notice this thing that's made up of blue discs, like a pillar. Each of those discs spins, and each one has two handles, so as you climb up the pillar it spins you around and shit. It's nothing amazing but I haven't seen anything like it before, and if I have it was several years ago and therefore I forget, so it counts anyway.

When you get up on the playground itself, you're met with this little blue metal slide. It's alright. Much like most of these stubbier slides, it is too small for me to really get much out of it, but it brings in a low score on the hurts-my-ass-o-meter which means it's about as good as you'll get for the size. It's pretty slippery and while you'll only be sliding for like a quarter of a second on this fucker, it's at least a fun quarter of a second. There's also this narrow walkway, which doesn't really do much for me, but might be fun to inch along using the help of the bars on the side if I was actually a kid.

Thankfully, this playground comes equipped with an old favorite of mine: a wobbly bridge. I love these motherfuckers you like you wouldn't believe. Not that there's much to this one, but its presence gives you something fun to fuck around with on the actual playground itself that isn't a meme wheel or some other waste of space like that. Every day that passes, I worry that these bridges will go out of style because a kid can fall over on them, but I'm glad they've remained a staple. Parents need to realize that the threat of physical harm is fun actually.

...Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Yes, it's a meme wheel. With no real theme to this playground that would warrant an inclusion, I'd be inclined to sigh and roll my eyes at the same rusty, squeaking pace that these things usually spin at, but... this one is actually kind of fun. Whoever maintains this thing goes HARD on oiling this bitch, because you can give it a good spin and it'll just keep going for minutes. Absolute legend of a meme wheel, surprisingly so. After the ramshackle piece of shit from the last playground, I was expecting the usual dreck.

And finally, you've got these longer double slides. Exactly the same as the small one from earlier, but longer and there's two of them. Double the slide, double the fun, or at least it would be if I had a friend to race. Well, I HAVE friends, but they're all busy with things like "work", "life", "relationships" and "not being mentally deranged", so I had to go this alone.

Even with that in mind though, we're looking at a much less depressing time than the last one though. Despite not being particularly big in terms of raw size and sprawl, I think this playground does well with what it has. While the place as a whole is lacking in aesthetic, theme, and soul, each feature is also pretty good with little to actually complain about. It's really nothing special, but with consistent quality, a priority on having shit to climb on instead of useless decoration, and a meme wheel that's actually fun to just spin, it's certainly solid for what it is, and sometimes that's all you can ask for.

With that in mind, I'm giving this one a...

6.5/10

god has blessed us with a serviceable meme wheel, all is good with the world.

I'm impressed honestly. It's a generic playground sure but it has what it needs and it's maintained well which automatically puts it far above its competition. The fact that a meme wheel actually works and spins well, something I never saw even as a kid, blows my mind in the modern day. It has a satisfying design to grip too, what in the fuck. I've seen stuff like that spinning blue pillar before but they ARE rare and a very cool addition to the arsenal, so that gains points too. They hit most of the things I would want to play with/on in one of these so, I have to say this is one of the better playgrounds you've reviewed in general. Genuinely surprising.

The best we can ever hope for life to be is a series of fun quarter-seconds