Alright, this one's taken a while but its not my fault the weather got nice and there's fucking children out there all the time, and while I photographed the individual attractions themselves, I forgot to get a shot of the whole playground and have been routinely unable to until now because of all the kids! Who the hell brings kids to a playground? Good lord, don't parents these days know that you're supposed to sit them in front of the ipad and fuck off?

Anyway this is just basically the last playground I can meaningfully review without having to walk for like an hour so I wanted to slot it in at some point early in here.

As far as these go, this one's sort of unique in that it's like, fenced in by the community center, only accessible via a gate. Makes me feel like a criminal walking in here, even though there's no signs or anything saying I can't be here. There's a picnic table and shit so if someone comes walking out of the community center I can always haul ass over there and pretend I'm just doing things that a normal human being would do instead of reviewing a playground for www.minus.world.

The gate aside though, there's... really not much to this place. I've been by here a couple times prior, but never really stopped to look. There's no theme to this place, which is fine as despite being a certified theme enjoyer, a playground doesn't NEED one to be good, but the bigger problem is that it's pretty small with few defining features at all. When I picture the concept of a goddamn gated playground, I'm expecting the Demon Lord of Playgrounds or something, some real crazy shit, but this? Why even bother having a gate at all, it's not like anyone's gonna... steal it or anything.

Well, I guess I won't throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, even if I do hate infants. Let's take a closer look.

What do we have here? Looks like a new challenger approaches. Yet another new playground company has surfaced, "Romperland". Could this finally be the weapon to surpass Blue Imp? I don't have an answer for that question as so far neither Blue Imp, Romperland, or that uh, other company from Eau Claire have been particularly impressive in terms of playground construction. Why is it that all the actually good ones don't have a listed manufacturer? How am I supposed to know which brand is the good shit?

Oh well. The stepping stones here are some pretty basic shit though. Shoutout to that one with the wiggly pole that ends in a knob though. I have absolutely no idea what the purpose of that is supposed to be, but I like its style.

Around the playground we've got some common recurring features, like this sort-of-twisty climbing thing that leads up to it. I'm wondering if Romperland is behind more of the playgrounds I've seen that have one of these, but I've never seen their logo before so it's possible it's just the playground equivalent of convergent evolution. I've never been much impressed by these though so if that's the case I have to wonder why this feature is so popular.

Underneath the playground there's this little sitting area with a foam padded floor and like, a bar I guess. It's pretty poorly maintained overall, as you can tell by the fact that one of the pads is missing to reveal just an ordinary concrete slab, as well as the fact that it's covered in gravel from the surrounding playground. That part isn't really anyone's fault though. If it was a little better kept I'd probably have hung out under here as a kid with a friend drinking a juice box or soda, assuming I had a juice box or soda. Or a friend.

Also leading to the underside is probably the most halfassed tunnel I've ever seen. More of a spout really. There's next to no purpose for this thing even being here, might as well just be a regular hole. There's no fun to be had in climbing through it, and you can just walk into the underside literally right next to it. I guess you can sit on the lip maybe?

Finally we've got some stairs. I was warned about them, bro, but I think I'll take these up anyway. Easier than climbing and risking being seen by the police.

Up here, there's another Romperland logo. I don't like this logo much, to be honest. It comes off as vaguely sinister to me for some reason, maybe the fact that the O is a crosshair, like they're an organization of playground assassins out specifically to kill me. Just up from the logo though is this porthole, where you can look down at the lowly peons playing in the gravel and bask in the glory of your empire. It's a bit too dirty and scratched though, hard to see out of.

You've got the classic climbing wall ladder thing, complete with rope. Don't really have anything negative to say about this one, but nothing positive either. It's certainly there, I'll say that much. It is indeed present at this playground. It's fairly uninteresting in design, unlike a proper climbing wall with mock stones and such. Kind of bland.

Last but not least; the slide. This slide is pretty good. I've seen a lot of these spiral slides lately, but this is the only one so far that hasn't made me feel like I'm going to snap some ligaments from contorting my adult form into sliding down. Not to say it's great, but it was a nice way to cap it off. The plastic it's made of isn't super slippery or anything so you don't feel like you're going that fast, but it's also not that sort of plastic that is slippery but also feels greasy to the touch, which is always good. Last thing I wanna do is touch some nasty ass slide grease.

And that's the community center park. Look, I know this one is obviously for babies or whatever, but come on. Why is this the one that's literally gated off, again? To keep people from realizing it kind of sucks dick? I don't want to be too hard on this one as it technically fulfills a few bare minimums, but there's really not much to do here outside of hang out in the caverns below like some kind of cave troll. Some of the things that are here aren't bad, but they sure as shit aren't interesting either. Not to mention that it's not all that well maintained too, despite being literally outside a commonly used building unlike Eau Claire's dead-ass shithole mall food court.

I dunno guys, not feeling this one.

3/10

sounds like the unfinished tunnel used to be a slide that got partially removed

kind of fucked up there's a perfectly good community center you could play in right next to this shit show

the weather/time of day in the grander shots of this one plus the gating make it look like its from a horror setup

the zombie kids are gonna come through the shitty non-tunnel to get the ones drinking juice in the chill zone

maybe i should make one of these threads about some of the parks near my apartment because good lord are these some big pieces of turd around here