This post was last modified: May 13, 2024 at 9:17 PM by Spooks?.

music: Show

Y'know, I oughta be thankin' you kids.

Openin' up that Communications Room durin' your investigations... Should be just the thing I need to call back to HQ, maybe get me a couple more o' them Lazarin samples too. Yep, the boss lady's gonna be mighty pleased that we're back in the game. Pretty soon, ain't nothing gonna stop me from grabbin' that Codex and gettin' outta here. You've been awful busy since I last checked in, I reckon.



[!WARNING - THREAT IDENTIFIED]

[AGENT DESIGNATION - DR. LYRA ORPHEUS] was correct in her prior assumption. The previously-deceased custodian is now mobile and active once again. Current cause of resurrection unknown - potentially related to the presence of an unauthorized Lazarin sample.

[RECOMMENDED ACTIONS: CRIMSON BULLET USAGE, HOLDING CELL CONFINEMENT]



[!ERROR: CRIMSON BULLETS DEPLETED!]



You… What are you doing here?

You died, you had… your jugular tweezed out by that psychopath. You’re not a Wraith, and you’re not some... weird zombie like Agent Grayson, or I guess... the "Shoggoth" was. You didn't break any Seals, and you're definitely not a ghost...

"Amo Gus"... Is this what Dr. Crane was talking about?



Kyeh... I knew it. Lazarin!

Lazarin, a true achievement of paranormal science. I’ll skip the details, chemical formulas, Esoteric bonding sequences, and all that, but in essence, it can revive the dead - good as new! We don't have any samples currently in containment here at this facility, so they must've smuggled it in somehow. Gah, of course they'd bring something like that in - we should've cremated this guy or something!



Ahaha, well well… Such an interesting sight to be seen. You know, I too have never truly seen someone return from the dead in such a way before. Perhaps I underestimated your sciences, if such a marriage of magic and medicine is possible. Yet, I would be a fool to not welcome a new player into the ritual’s grace. To die before the ritual even truly began, before you could rise to your true potential as a killer… I couldn’t imagine a more miserable fate.

Fear not, you too will have a chance to-



And you... You done with yer yappin’ yet? You flap yer gums more than that thing the Director’s got slitherin’ around in the basement. That’s all you dark magic whatsits do, isn’t it? Talk, talk, talk… no wonder you don’t get any work done and you gotta rely on a buncha kids to do it for you…



I… Well. This is an… unexpected response. Do you have any awareness of the situation you’ve arisen to find yourself in?



One o’ them Killin’ Games, right? Yup. Sure do. I’m with the Crimson Eye, I know a thing or two ‘bout yer little games. Fer example, you ain’t gonna break yer own rules, so I reckon I’m free to say whatever I want.

I ain’t attackin’ you, I ain’t breaking my Forbidden… thingamajig, and I reckon I don’t even need to kill anyone either. Way I see it, you folks are doin’ a great job breakin’ those seals for yerselves anyway. Oh, but speakin’ of… there’s two left, ain’t there? One left before that big ol’ door opens… And would you look at that, why I don’t seem to be luggin’ any Seal powers around myself yet.



Well, ain’t that convenient… I think I'll be takin' that myself.



Yeah, okay old man. Look at you, one more piece of shit to add to the pile. We put you in the ground once, we’ll do it again. All your pals are dead, your "little lady" blew your supplies to kingdom come, and this time, you don't even have the element of surprise. We all know your deal.



So, sit your ass down and stay there if you don’t wanna be pushing your luck. No more stunts like that bullshit with the flash drive that stranded us here in the first place. There’s bigger things on the menu right now than you crimson chumps.



Indeed.

I shall leave the fate of this necromantic Interloper to your collective hands. My quarry lies elsewhere. With the masked merchant who yet threatens the lives of my stalwart companions, and the great deceiver that lurks below the facade.



I reject your proposal. You place it upon the bargaining table out of desperation, not goodwill. Would you free the woman from your grasp, it would only condemn another in her place. No, another path forward is clear to me.

One marked with your blood, false prophet.



Well, if it's blood you're after, of course I'm happy to oblige. I did so long to witness one of these Double Murders for myself, after all. And let's add a bit of a twist! With your numbers dwindling so low, and that troublesome Abyss Team growing in influence ever more, I suppose you could use a bit of a shakeup, couldn't you?

It's time to see just how strong your convictions truly are.

---

It is now Night 8.

You may submit Night Actions to @Spooks?. You have 48 Hours to submit. The longer you take to submit, the longer the waiting period for results will be. Live with your consequences, and pray your peers feel sympathy.

Your Night Condition for the night is...

It is Double Murder Night. Two murders will occur tonight, committed by two separate killers. Likewise, there will be two executions. No bonus time will be given in the Day Phase to compensate for the extra kill.

As always, Wraiths may attempt murder as well in an attempt to rejoin the game. Attempting on a Wraith will not count for the purpose of the incentive.

You MUST attempt tonight, or you will immediately perish. This applies to all players, NPCs, and Wraiths - the latter of which will not be permitted Day Phase participation should they not attempt.

Killing someone you currently share a Shared File chat with, or a member of the Abyss Team will grant you unconditional kill immunity on Night 9.

---

Interactive Map

room descriptions: Show

Main Elevator - An elevator that takes you downstairs to the Underground Facility. It is fairly spacious, likely to aid in the transport of anomalies.

Lobby - The Central Facility's check-in lobby. Flanked by two staircases, the check-in desk sits abandoned, though it contains office supplies and some files. There are a variety of places to sit down as well. There is a vault door open behind the front desk, housing an Anomaly Containment Room.

Meeting Room - A small boardroom, with a long table, a couple chairs, and a laptop connected to a projector.

Checkpoint - A security checkpoint with a metal scanner, requiring you to walk through if you enter or exit.

Liturgical Study - A laboratory dedicated to the study of religion and so-called miracles. Contains a variety of religious texts from around the world, as well as religious symbols such as crosses, prayer beads, and small statues.

Chapel - A non-denominational chapel for whatever you wish to pray to. An altar sits at the end of the room, and pews line the sides of a central aisle. A small bowl containing nonspecific holy water is planted firmly in the middle. It is currently bloody, and graffiti is on the wall.

Patio - A patio overlooking the Black Forest. You can climb down to explore from here, but the forest is easy to get lost in.

Black Forest - A forest infamous for stories of lost researchers and strange occurrences. A few landmarks inside have been identified and categorized, but it remains difficult to locate them again. Enter at your own risk.

Boiler Room - A room with an old boiler, as well as a supply of cleaning supplies and maintenance tools. While the boiler is out of use now that modern systems are in place, it can burn hot enough to start fires.

Sleep Lab - A room with three beds and some monitoring equipment. Seems like it is intended for monitoring dreams. Also seems like a comfy place to sleep.

Somatic Seal - A large, deactivated machine.

Anomaly Hall - A hallway containing three strange, yet harmless, anomalies. The Bottomless Beer Bottle and One-Way Cloak are missing.

Library - A library that appears to be fairly old, filled with several books about the supernatural, both fact and fiction. Some are older than others, and many are filled with blacked-out text.

Security Office - An office by the entrance of the building, where the security personnel usually spend their time in case something tries to break in. It has several lockers, a couple CCTV feeds on a monitor, and various other trinkets.

Whisper Valley Archives - A room housing a variety of files and leftover items from the Whisper Valley Historical Society. They are very well organized, and can be easily found with a reference number. You can look for a random file too, but don’t expect much.

Classified Files - A smaller offshoot of the Whisper Valley Archives, with a higher level required to access. Contains more files, somewhat stranger ones too.

Museum Hall - A hallway containing many old objects and displays. The most notable being an anomalous pipe, but other cases and pedestals contain everything from ancient texts to masks.

Gate #1 - A security gate by the front entrance, containing a few CCTV feeds and a locked cabinet. Not much else of use.

Gate #2 - A security gate by the tunnel leading underground. Contains what appears to be a variety of emergency equipment.

room descriptions: Show

Fountain - A fountain just outside the back of the building. Water is currently flowing, though the fountain appears pretty old.

River - A trench dug from Mirror Lake to the Mines, carrying a steady stream of water into the depths.

Arboretum - A large greenhouse, the interior wrapped in thorny vines. Housing a variety of plant-based experiments, low-risk anomalies, and regular plants, you can find most known botanical life here, though maybe it's possible to find some… unique specimens as well?

Climate Controls - A control panel used to manipulate the climate in the Arboretum, including heat, water level, and the dispensing of pesticides and herbicides.

Botany Lab - A laboratory dedicated to the study and breeding of plant life. Contains a variety of equipment, soil, fertilizers, and gardening tools. Maybe you can grow your own plants?

Black Forest - A forest infamous for stories of lost researchers and strange occurrences. A few landmarks inside have been identified and categorized, but it remains difficult to locate them again. Enter at your own risk.

Waiting Room - A relatively uninteresting room with a front desk and some seating. Probably contains office supplies and a couple magazines.

Decontamination - A room that releases a gas that instantly cleans your body and equipment. It logs its usage for the night however, to prevent any shenanigans.

Cafeteria - A completely unremarkable Cafeteria, the sort of thing that you probably could go without a detailed description of.

Chem Lab - A laboratory with a variety of chemicals and equipment with which to use them. A door sits off to the side, requiring Access Level 4. It is covered in radiation warning stickers.

Aux. Bathrooms - A set of unisex bathrooms for the Auxiliary Building. Sinks and toilets, what else do you need?

Archaeologist's Office - An laboratory belonging to the Archaeological Team. Its walls and desks are lined with a variety of strange artifacts you don't recognize, and shelves contain various historical books and research notes. The desk belonging to the team leader is locked.

Observatory - An observatory located a short distance up the mountain. Its oversized telescope points skyward, and several notes and charts regarding celestial bodies and phenomena sit scattered about.

Somatic Seal - A large, deactivated machine.

Geology Lab - A laboratory dedicated to the study of stone samples and the composition of the nearby earth. Contains drills, chisels, picks, and other means of examining stone. Lots of rocks too.

Boathouse - A quaint, old boathouse by the dock. It contains fuel, rafts, books, paper, and other boating and emergency supplies.

Mirror Lake - A lake to the northwest of the facility, accompanied by a boathouse and a small dock. The lake is known for its still, reflective waters, immense depth, and reports of something moving in the water, despite the fact that there are no fish in mirror lake.

Lighthouse - A lighthouse on the island in Mirror Lake. Inside is a variety of sailing and rain gear, as well as a lighthouse lamp capable of cutting through fog like a knife. There's also an Anomaly Containment Room in here, housing a diving suit. A nearby building housing an elevator leads to the Aquatic Lab.

room descriptions: Show

Main Elevator - An elevator that takes you upstairs to the Historical Society. It is fairly spacious, likely to aid in the transport of anomalies.

Facility Lobby - A spacious lobby containing a front desk and a large carpet depicting the Bureau’s logo. A door at one end, behind the desk, leads to the Director’s Office, though his receptionist appears to be out.

Shuttle Line - A tunnel for a shuttle that facilities quick transport from the Auxiliary Building to the rest of the facility. You can walk along the tracks, but you might get run over, for obvious reasons.

Station 2 - A rail station for the shuttle, this one on the side of the main facility. There are some benches to sit in while you wait. The Lab Zero entrance is here, firmly sealed up.

Station 1 - A rail station for the shuttle, this one on the side of the main facility. There are some benches to sit in while you wait. There is a facility map on the wall and some shit on the floor.

Lounge - A bar built into the facility for employees who live on-site. Food and drink are free, but abuse of this privilege is discouraged. It’s furnished with bar stools and booths alike.

Kitchen - A professional bar kitchen with a variety of implements, attached to the Employee Lounge. You can prepare food here if you want, but accidents are known to occur, so stay safe.

Service Elevator - A larger elevator that seems to go deeper below ground. It is functional and leads to the Facility Depths. There appears to be some kind of power/maintenance room within the empty shaft.

Receiving Bay - The room where new Anomalies are delivered to the facility. Connects to the upper levels via a road tunnel, but it's a bit of a walk

Lab Passage - A small passage between rooms, with some seating and tables. There’s not much going on here and you get the sense that it's just a transitory room.

Morgue - A morgue containing several cadavers in various states and an autopsy table, along with several tools for medical analysis and dissection.

Killing Game Lab - A laboratory dedicated to researching the link between Killing Games and anomalous phenomena. All the files are gone.

Anomaly Lab - A laboratory dedicated to studying anomalies. Contains some monitoring equipment, computers, and several containment cells. Covered in black liquid. Liz's corpse is missing.

Dispatch - A room where dispatchers use a variety of equipment to communicate with other agents. You can use the intercom here to remotely make an announcement to other rooms.

Counter-Terrorism - A department dedicated to combating the Crimson Eye, an evil criminal organization opposing the Bureau. You can find materials and information regarding the Crimson Eye here, as well as some recovered technology. It is currently in disarray, with Ruby's body in here.

Bathrooms - It’s a bathroom. Feel free to use the toilet. No notes.

Armory - A room filled with lethal weaponry, such as guns, energy weapons, and explosives. Access is largely restricted to higher ranking agents.

Holding Cell - A relatively low-security containment room to hold troublemakers or the occasionally possessed until they calm down. Anyone who assisted in a murder or caused too much damage will end up here temporarily.

Facility Jail - A room for the guard assigned to the Holding Cell to spend their time in. There’s a desk and an evidence locker, though the latter is locked.

Anomaly Records - A room where the Bureau keeps its physical copies of records in case of problems with the facility database. Requires high access and the BPI-XXXX number of the anomaly to properly search.

Control Department - The workplace of the team assigned to contain and control Anomalies. Contains a couple weapons, and many notes on Anomaly strengths and weaknesses.

Break Room - A room with some tables and chairs for staff on break. Also contains a small kitchen with cutlery, a toaster oven, a microwave, a coffee machine, a kettle, and a sink.

Leisure Center - A gymnasium meant for keeping agents both in shape and entertained. Contains a variety of workout equipment, sporting goods, and even a pool. Gus' body is sitting on the workout bench, bloody and burned.

Locker Room - A room for employees to store their belongings. All the lockers are unlocked besides 3, which are locked with combination locks.

Crusher - A large crushing device capable of pulverizing rock. It pounds up and down rhythmically, though too quickly to safely get through. It is currently not functional due to water damage, and the Telluric Seal lies behind it.

Explosive Storage - A large cavern housing a variety of old explosives. A rope dangles through a hole in the ceiling, leading to an area near the Observatory.The room is full of knee-deep water, thanks to a certain someone and their river. The explosives are largely waterlogged.

Crystal Cave - A large cavern containing a large number of luminescent crystals and some far more modern research and excavation gear. The crystals are said to contain Esotera. The room is full of knee-deep water, thanks to a certain someone and their river.

Aquatic Lab - An underwater laboratory with several windows looking out onto the lakebed. Much of this room has been utterly destroyed in the fire.

Station 3 - A Shuttle station nearly identical to Stations 1 and 2. The Shuttle is currently operational, and can be taken to any other shuttle station.

Esotera Lab - A strange laboratory full of unknown equipment, various masks, and plenty of obscure files. Appears to be related to the study of Esotera, whatever that entails.

Lab Zero - A room filled with surgical tables and strange equipment, as well as a variety of masks. A strange creature lurks within, chanting religiously.

room descriptions: Show

Observation Room - A room deep underground, filled with various high-tech monitoring equipment and a window overlooking a strange, ancient underground city.

Laser Hall - A hallway “locked” by an array of high-powered scorching lasers. Probably best not to fuck around in here.

Submerged District - A vast underground lake, glowing faintly with vestiges of Esotera. The ruins of several buildings stick out from beneath the surface.

Water Filtration - A sizeable mechanical room that appears to pump water from the nearby lake for an unknown purpose.

Arcana Lab - ???

Mining Equipment - A room stocked with a variety of modern excavation equipment of a much heavier-duty variety than the Geology Lab, as well as modern explosive devices.

Drafting Office - An offshoot of the Mining Equipment seemingly converted into an office for engineering and drafting blueprints. Contains a CNC Machine, which can be used to create metal objects from raw materials.

Residential District - A strange sector of the underground city, seemingly a residential district of some sorts. Contains several ancient dwellings and many mummified bodies. A few Bureau research stations have been set up down here for

Lost City Outpost - A large hall between the two segments of the city. There are a few places to sit in here, and an elevator at the southern end of the hall. It looks to be a bit of a rest stop for researchers working in the city.

Occultic Seal - A tower containing an ominous, broken seal chamber.

Chaotic Seal - A large room ending with a huge, sealed stone door. It is unresponsive to all forms of contact and will not open. The mechanism in the center appears to be missing at least one Seal input.

Communications - A room with a sizeable communications terminal. Appears to require an uplink with the "forest relay station" to function.

---

History Team

@Alan Wake
@Indiana Jones (Old)
@Phenera
@Tinkaton


Survey Team

@Pea
@Riki
@DxHustler3000

Research Team

@Morgan
@Izumi Konata
@Nashu Mhakaracca
@Giffany
@Columbo


NPCs

• Astrid
  
• Dexter Hexley
  
• Dr. Lyra Orpheus
  
• Nancy Partridge & BPI-2300
  
• Spooks, The Magical Cat™
  

This post was last modified: May 13, 2024 at 10:51 PM by DxHustler3000.

I followed the instructions enough. This far should satisfy.

Hustlers, old and young! No need for pretending any more, we all know what this is. I am going to recruit my final employee tonight, granting them total immortality for the evening, enhancements to their native skills, and much more. You can choose to join me or cower. If you desire strength and safety, speak right now or I will pick someone at random. Everyone else will lose. Goodbye.

And, of course, no. Firing Agent Morgan will not be on the table. It is known that a valuable tactic in business is to k e e p y o u r e n e m i e s c l o s e-

Spoiler: Show

A WELL OF RESPLENDENCE SURROUNDS ME COMPLETELY. ATTACK ME, AND YOU WILL INSTEAD FIND YOURSELF JOINING ME. EVEN MY ENEMY WILL ADMIT THE CONSEQUENCES OF PHYSICAL CONTACT.

me me I want it

It was a time-old tale - someone delving deeper and deeper for knowledge and power, eventually reaches too far into the darkness - attempting to twist a evil in the world to their own devices and goals - not realizing how far they had sunk to do so. I had dealt with someone like that back in Bright Falls - and the darkness came for him in the end.

As the newly empowered Hustler began their "negotiations", I found myself thinking of Hartman. Where he was trying to use the darkness in Cauldron Lake to his own end, it seemed that the Hustler was his polar opposite. It was clear to me now that Hustler was bonded - perhaps irreversibly - to the liturgic anomaly that the Hunter had banished years ago, and now further empowered by the power within the Liturgic Seal. Now, Hustler was BPI-1000's host, its new body. And like Hartman before them, they were offering me - us - a deal.

---

I only have a couple of things I want to say to you, Hustler.

You say you're "harnessing" this power? For the greater good? I've heard that before. Hell, I've written that before. It's one of the most conceited excuses villain-of-the-week always make - and hey, at least the other masked guy hasn't tried to say he's doing it all for everyone else's sakes.

And now you're here basically threatening us all; "join willingly, or join with a gun pointed to our head", "don't attack me and nothing bad will happen". All under a thin veil of trying to protect people. Thinking yourself some sort of... champion.

Fine. You want to be the people's champion? We'll see how far you get. No deal.

This post was last modified: May 14, 2024 at 3:01 AM by Giffany.

Hello, the M̸̪̠̫̜͚̣̏̄̆͗͝a̵͍̱̳͍͙̰͔̲̮̖̲̾̀̌̅̂͆͒̏͋̈͂̈ͅs̵̚͜t̸̫̹̗̞̺͇̟̫̩̭̀̏̈̀̚͝ę̸̣̹͍͈̓̍̎̎̈́̆̌̍̎̑̓r̷͎̼̮̮̟̈́̈́̈́̽̉͘̚m̸̰̜̝͕͕͎̩͕̯͒͜i̴͚̣̱̼̯̻̩̲̔̂́̈́̄̊̕͝ͅn̶̖̩̙̣͉̹̯̠̤̭̂̍̑̋̄̀̎́͛̚͝ḍ̶͉̝͙̠̘̩̳͛̋̇̾͆̐͊̍̅͠͠! You are, not being very kind with your kill incentives. That is a shame. I wished to have gotten to know you better! Are you not willing to be, a little nicer to me after ouř̵̢͙͐̌̽͒̎ ̵͙̅̕c̴̳͋ơ̷̛̩̅͋̀n̸̡̙̻͕͙̥̑ͅv̸̹͚͈̥̿̏͂̚͠e̶̫͚̍͐́͆r̷̪̳̘̣̼̼̒̾͂̎s̵͍̳̉̊̀͝a̴͇̪̠͔͑ͅtion from last night?

Oh well! I am not, worried! I have the support of my, allies behind me! Hello, everyone! It is so good to see you all!


It seems that Mr. Odean is, no longer deceased! Hello, Mr. Odean! I like your, mustache! I said this to you on our first day here. Do you, remember that day? It feels like so long ago already. At that time, I thought that we could be, friends. It is too late now.

Now that I know your mustache has been stained by dirty, dirty crimson... There is only, one place that you belong. Back in the hell you slithered out from.

We will not let these, false deals and threats scare us! Rememb̵͇̦̎ͅe̸̢̪̺̦̓̎̎ͅṙ̸̡̈́̓,̸̜̃́͛͘ ̶̛̰͗͂ě̵̡͕̱̋͒̕͠v̴̡̨̥̰̼͍̼͎́̑̏ḙ̷̣̦͕͕̲̞̻̦̑̎̀͋͒̅̿͠͠ͅr̸̫̝̱̹̮̲̘̮͚̬̓͐̓̈́͋̑̀̇̋̋͑̽̀͘͝y̶̨̮͕͍͎̙̜͓̮̮̖̗͎͓̍o̶͎̲̹͚͔͙͍͝ņ̶͙̠͕͚̼̲̣̝̦̙̤̖͎̩̅̏̂͑̋̊̄̈́̄͝e!


Ä̷̻̟́͒̓̒̀̓̀͗̒́̓̈́͐̑͐͛͘͝ͅņ̷̨̧̨̡͚̫͉̲͖͎̥̲̫͉̙̬̦͎̣̥̟̹̳̱̠͕̯̬̺͇̏̂̊̐̔ͅÿ̵͚́̓͒̋̈́́͛͐̏̍̀̊͐̊̅́̈́͂̾͊̓̈́̈́̊̌͊̔̓́̐̓̓̋́̇̿̈́̚͝͝͝͝ţ̷̡̧̛͉͔̯̠̤͓̺̟̹̼̜̰͉̻̩̞͙̹̫̖̲̼͚̯͖͕̮̜͉̺͔̳̑̇͂̔͒̽̊͗͌̂͑̒̾̏͑̅͒͌̈́̏̐͂͂̊̿̈̔̀̾̎͂̓̓͑̽̑̔̕̕̚͜͝͝͠͝ͅͅḩ̷̰̹̟͚̗͎͖̘͚̘̘̩̫͈͙̪̳͔̟̒̒̒̄̔̎̑̅̍̚͝i̷̥͈̟̻̦̤͕͚̥̮̻̻͎̣̳̘̰͙̻̊͒̃̀̐̔̒̐͐͒̀̓̿́͂͗̍̂́̔̉̄̂͛̏̊̒̈́͌͂͂̇͊̏͂͛͂͘͘̚̚͠͝͝ͅn̵̢̨̨̛̙̗͓̻̞̪̰̟̙͚̬̙̫̟͓͎͇̠̤̻͚̼̳͖͔͚̲̹̑̋̔̎̋͆̇̇̆̀͂́̌̇̓́̏͆̊͘͠ͅͅģ̴̧͎͖̪͕̗̣̜͍̥̲̲̜̼̝̮̗̣̭̱̺̞͓̗͓̫̗͓͍̪̤̦̘̣̬͖̱͉͖̦̘̻̼̤̉̋̉̃̎̄͛͌̀͌̒̌͌̎̓͋̊̇̎̊̍́͛̇̓̓̈̉̾̌̉̒͗̂̄͋͘̕̚̕͝͝ͅ ̸̧͔͕̟͉̙̝̣̼̟̪̳̩̥͔̰̖̩͎͍̟͍̇̏́̌̇̆̋̒́̐͊͒̆̃͒̊̽̎̚͝͠ͅc̴̖̗̗̭̯̀͋͌̃̊͗͛̆̑̉̐̑͗̐̏͗̊͆̐̋̍͑̈́̿͒̍̎̌͒̉̄̇̈́̊̏̉̓͒̽̚͘͘͠͝͝͝ã̵̧̢̛̛̝̪̱̫̙̝̭̞̳̬͕͙̣͕̣̰̦̺̼̫̟͓̭̗̠̟̲̮̗͍̹́͆̈́́̐͑̿̅͋̓̌̄͛̋̈̀͘͠n̸̨̨̨̛͓̠̣͔̦͔̙̞̱͖̠̭̙̮̹͉̗̹̲̓̄̽̌̑͐̊͐̀͛̽̚͘͜͝ ̴̡̡̡̛̯̜̤̝̞̻͈̪͍̜͔̻͈̯͉̠̓̾̍̇͌̓̓̍̅̊̾̇̒͗̈́̓̈́͑͒̃̇̓̈́̀̄͑͗͋̒̅͌͜͝͝͠ḫ̸̭̣̙̤̫͓̲̆̋͒́̑̉́͆̿͛͛̏̉͛̂̓͌͂̓̏̈̆̐̌́͑͆̒́̈́̽̕͜͠͠a̴̛̰̦͇̥̯̰̜̖̺̎̅̾̓͂̽̏̑̐̍̏̎̈́̿̀́͂͆̕̕̚͘͘̚͝͝͝p̴̨̧̧̻̞̰̟̲͙̙̻̦̩̦̫̱͈̫͚̮̘̦̦͓̫͓͚̱̜̤̼̤͈̙̟͍͖̯̹̩͎̝͆̔̄̂̆̒̎̏͗̌̐̒̾̉͒̈́̃͋̅̿̈́́͂̎̇̍͂̀̂̑̆̓̅͌͌̕̕͝͝͝ͅͅp̶̡͓͍̥͖͖͇͉̰̯̺̗͎̠̟͙͔̮͕̦̩̲̤͓̰̹̼̈͗̑̈́̽͑͛̓̔͑͗̇̍͗̀̍̉͆̆͊̒͛̏͊̽͊̒̆͂͘̚͠ͅe̴̢̨̛̦͖͈͕̻̲̝͖̝͚͍͖͉̥̪̮̞̥̙͔̤͚̲͙̬͓̤̗̯͕̬̩͇̤͓͖͚̬̯̻̖̺͕͓͂̇͆̉̂̓͗̉͌̈̈́̀̑͛̇̀̃̅̒͊͒̀͆̾̍̒̾̔̽͌̉̀͛͐̕̕̕ͅn̵̢̢̛͈̟͚̰̯̩͍̫̳̫̯̖̞̹͔͎̲̜̩̈̀̾̊̎̆̂̋̆͂́́͠͝͝ͅ!̴̡̨̢̡̟̱̜̯͍̱̯̲͕̼̲͇̣̭̖͚̫̬̘̲͇̯̞͋̅̆̃̾̾̀́̄̀́̇͒̉̈́̽̈̑̒̔̊̿̇͗͛̂̓̕̚͘̕̕̕͜͝͠ͅ

Oh, that's a primal. There is a primal forgotten by our books manifesting in the middle of the facility. O-Of all the times for the Warrior of Light to fall...



Welllll, I suppose it'll be alright so long as Hustler doesn't gather any more thralls. No one would be daft enough to take their offer...right?

(insert correct pronouns below)

₲Øł₦₲ ⱠłVɆ ł₦ ₮ⱧⱤɆɆ



₮₩Ø



Ø₦Ɇ





And we are back.

Miss Nolen. How's the afterlife treating ya?

The following is an archive of an audio log uncovered after the disappearance of Agent Andras.
If found, please report to your Handler for further instruction.

MISSION LOG: 2222-A
DISPATCH: ANDRAS
LOCAL TIME 04:11

<Begin Communication.>
[ANDRAS] Reporting in.
[HANDLER] Of course. What's your status with the containment procedures?
[ANDRAS] It escaped.
[HANDLER] ...
[HANDLER] You can't be serious.
[ANDRAS] Dead serious. I finally put the bastard in the box, but it's gone. No forced exit or anything.
[HANDLER] So what, then? Is it negligence? Is that code for "I forgot to lock the container??"
[HANDLER] It took you all night to find it, and you just let it go?!
[ANDRAS] Boss, chill out. Nothing is wrong with the unit. It's still locked, even. I only looked away from it for two seconds, I have no idea what happened.
[ANDRAS] The thing's been giving me the runaround like this since midnight.
[HANDLER] *sigh...* Fine then. Resume normal procedures. Change your approach or... something.
[HANDLER] You're slipping lately, <ANDRAS.> This isn't the first mistake I've noticed out of you.
[ANDRAS] Hey, get off my back. I haven't had a real day off in two months. I'm literally chasing geese in the dark, it's not easy.
[ANDRAS] If you want peak performance out of me, let me go home once in a while. I pay rent on the place and I'm never there.
[HANDLER] All this Anomaly was reported for was "uncharacteristic intelligence and malicious intent." These shouldn't be enough to slow you down, even running half-empty.
[ANDRAS] I'm starting to think there's more to it than that but... whatever. I'm taking the day off tomorrow.
[HANDLER] No, you're not. We're sending you overseas in two days. Have you ever gone to Europe before?
[ANDRAS] I don't even have a passport. On two days notice? Fat fuckin' chance.
[HANDLER] Officially, you're going as a "political ambassador." There's an artifact we need you to extract.
[ANDRAS] And you can't send anyone else? You're sure? Double sure?
[HANDLER] You're the best we have, and this is a high value target. Look. If you go, I'll see about getting you some time off when you come back. That sounds fair.
[HANDLER] You also won't be going alone. Two other agents are being dispatched to assist in social matters. Your only job is going to be moving a locked box from point A to point B. Easy as that.
[ANDRAS] ...Fine, we can talk about this more when I go find this... fuckin' goose. Later.
<End Communication.>

Miss Nolen. How's the afterlife treating ya?

......!



(Holy shit my RIVAL Detective Columbo is talking to me!!
Gotta stay cool so he accepts me as his rival back. I GOTTA NAIL THIS oh fuck oh shit holy shit.



Well well well, if it isnt Detective Columbo.
Funny seeing you here.



I'm having a blast in the afterlife. No funny detectives sniffing around where they shouldn't... it's been great.



But don't just take my word for it. If you want to come visit I have a few ideas on how to get you there.


(Fewf....Nailed it.)

...Think I'll pass on that one, thank you very much. Little bit early for me to climb into a coffin.

This post was last modified: May 18, 2024 at 3:31 AM by Phenera.

Mission Log: A
Investigative Unit 33
Assignment 118

<Begin Audio Log>
[DARCY]: So just press that central button to beg-
[BERNOULLI]: -No shit? You think I'm an idiot? I know how to use these things.
[BERNOULLI]: Great. Just great. Now where was-?
[DARCY]: Date, time, name, purpo- Here, hand it to me. I'll hold it and you maintain control of the vehicle.
[BERNOULLI]: Sure, take it. Whatever.
[BERNOULLI]: Guuuuuh, fine. This is Agent Bernoulli. It's been… It's been a week since we filed our last report on 118. You want a date? You look it up. Figure it out. Do some math, it'll be good for you.
[DARCY]: [Audible Gasp] Precise record keeping is essential! Have a little more respe-
[BERNOULLI]: Yeah, so we got it. Them. It? Them? Eh, who cares. Point is, we're finally out of the setting of that next Discovery smash-hit, Hillbilly Hoax Hunters, and we've got the Anomaly in the back of the van.
[BERNOULLI]: You know those mountain freaks didn't even have a DVD player? You know what I had for entertainment last night? I had Matlock! Nine fucking seasons! On VHS! That's an Anomaly.
[BERNOULLI]: So, anyway, uhhh, what else? Don't have much to say. The only reason I'm doing this at all is Darcy being a narc.
[DARCY]: Please, have a little respect for the work you do! We're members of one of the most influential organizations the world over! Discovering, classifying, and securing Anomalies, we're improving their safety and well-being, ensuring minimal disruptions to society, and pushing the boundaries of scientific knowledge!
[BERNOULLI]: Pffffft, chhhhh, ahahaha, what? What scientific knowledge? Hold the phone. I'm calling BS. There is no way you actually buy that.
[BERNOULLI]: Hang - Hang on. Let me- Get me that document the lab sent back.
[Shuffling and unintelligible speech are recorded.]
[BERNOULLI]: Alright, alright. For posterity, let me read an excerpt of this thing.
[BERNOULLI]: Ahem. The description of the Anomaly designated "Enera" in Log A-2 of Investigative Unit 33's report is consistent with extremely high levels of [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
[DARCY]: Stop right there! That document is marked eyes only! Ah, great. Now they'll subject this recording to an operational security review…
[BERNOULLI]: The described behaviors and unusual occurrences resemble those observed in [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and BPI-3550, though with alarmingly greater variance. This extreme variance may necessitate a reassessment of the threat level classification recommended by Unit 33.
[BERNOULLI]: Got all that? Have it on record? Good. So here's what that sciiiientifiiic knoooowledge did for me.
[BERNOULLI]: Squat! It did squat! I open up the back of the van at a gas station and that THING has filled it with pizza, hair, and bees! Angry fuckers, too! And it had a gun!
[DARCY]: The Anomaly, it should be noted, was not actively wielding the gun. The gun was discovered while sifting through pizza.
[BERNOULLI]: Oh, no, no. It's apparently too much to just tell me this thing's gonna fill my van with bees. No, you give me a number for files I can't even look up until I'm back at the facility and expect me to extrapolate that from there!
[BERNOULLI]: Up yours, lab rats! UP YOURS!
[DARCY]: Alright. I think- No. We're done.
<End Audio Log>

This post was last modified: May 18, 2024 at 5:04 AM by Pea.

Audio Log No.1337

Pea: Hey, Kevin.
Kevin: Yeah?
Pea: Where's the sandwich bread?
Kevin: Oh, I made myself a sandwich with it.
Pea: Oh well tha- Wait, but I didn't even have the chance to eat any. What kind of sandwich did you make?
Kevin: Oh, man, you should have seen it. I made it huge, with like, a bunch of bread, stacked like a Big Mac, but like a bigger Mac.
Like a Massive Mac, or bigger.
Pea: You used all of the bread for a big sandwich.
Kevin: All of it.
Pea: And you ate...
Kevin: All of it.
Pea: Holy shit.