DAY 7: Nicholas Sheran Elementary

#1
Fun With Despair
So, there's an elementary school in the park that housed the best playground so far, but... it DOESN'T just use the good playground? That's right, for some baffling reason, this school has its own playground, for reasons I truly cannot fathom. Is it a good playground? Does it compare? Important questions, but before I address any of that, I would like to mention that on my way to the playground I also conveniently witnessed a fight and did nothing about it, as I am a weak ass bitch.

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As you can see from this blurry fucking garbage picture, compared to the last few playgrounds besides FUCKING Lafayette Park, this one is a little bit shit. Beyond the bench that looks like something out of a Splatoon map, there's nothing really visually interesting about this one. It's one of the generic "metal pipe" playgrounds that consist nearly entirely of metal tubes. Compared to the nostalgic feel of our previous entry, this one does disappoint on many levels.

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Around the outside, you can see a little balancing beam, and a few various climbing implements. The chain climbing wall was about six or so feet tall, so it wasn't completely awful, even if it was a little small. The balance beam really didn't hold my interest too long though, as it's a rather simple attraction. Perhaps it would be more suited to someone who watches Rick and Morty, as they possess the same level of required complex thought. However, these stepping stones were nice enough, if simple. The wobbling that the chain suspending them induced was a very welcome change, and there was some challenge involved in crossing them unscathed.

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This thing was good. INCREDIBLY smooth glide on it, and very soft rubber on the end to prevent wrist-shattering impact that these have become renowned for since the '04 Incident.

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Off to the side you'll notice this little mini-playground shaped like a truck or jeep. DESPITE having a steering wheel, I hesitate to call it a meme wheel because it's attached to something very obviously intended to resemble a vehicle, therefore it contributes to high quality roleplay and immersion. Good job.

The slide sucks fuck though.

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This slide actually on the playground is rather nice though. Short, but extremely wide, you can you pull off those 360-degree slide noscope vape tricks like an absolute champ. Pea would appreciate this one, I feel.

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never mind i fucking take back that praise up there YOU ALREADY HAVE A GOOD PLACE FOR A STEERING WHEEL WHY DO YOU NEED A MEME WHEEL ON THE PLAYGROUND TOO?

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Anyway, this playground has two bridges, and from the first one, you can see one of those little whirly climbing things, as well as a slightly wavy slide. Both of these attractions were satisfactory, but I feel like the slide wasn't wavy enough. With a wavy slide, you really do have to go all the way, and this one only went half of the required way, much like gato when taking his meds.

Over the second bridge, was a swirly slide and a chain used to climb up. The swirly slide was weak honestly, it was one of those cheap shitty blue ones you see at half assed playgrounds, and your ass kind of sticks to it as you go down. The chain also felt like cheap metal, and probably wasn't worth trying.

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There's also another fireman's pole though. Maybe they're making a comeback.

THE VERDICT: 5/10

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I don't have a whole lot to complain about here, but I also don't have many praises to sing. I feel like most kids on recess would make the five minute walk to go use the proper Nicholas Sheran Park instead. It's not all bad, the stepping stones worked well, the zipline thing was nice, and at least half of the slides were passable, but then you get things like the fucking two meme wheels when they already have a good excuse to have one and leave it.

I'm giving this one a 5, because it's passable at best, and passable at worst. Until next time, please don;t masturbate to these articles.
#2
Draku
what is with all these playgrounds having TWO meme wheels

are they so popular that it becomes an issue of kids hogging them? like fuckin kidchad the 4th punches the virgin wheeler out of his pretend truck so he has to go use the auxiliary wheel?

this doesn't seem like that bad of a place though, as you said very average but nothing sticks out as outright poor either.
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#3
Spritanium
I swear there must be a factory that just produces nothing but plastic steering wheels, and it's actually a front for laundering drug money through city projects

There is no other reason for these meme wheels to exist
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