Now, this one may be a little shorter, because this is indeed a smaller playground. Now, previously, we took a look at the infamous Lafayette Park, which was small as shit and honestly rather ass, but does this mean all small playgrounds are doomed to walk the same path? Can a small playground genuinely work?

I guess we'll see.

As you can see, Colombia Park is a bit on the small side indeed, with a gravel flooring and not much that initially stands out. I do applaud it for having a couple roofs over the equipment though, as that really provides some nice relief on hot days, as well as a safe respite from the rain if you're degenerate enough to visit a playground during a thunderstorm.

Around the perimeter, you'll see a couple things to play on. The first one being, weirdly enough in the modern age, a seesaw. I haven't seen one of these in quite a while, so I decided to give it a go despite being alone. It has a nice bounce to it, but as intended in the design, it does do an excellent job and crushing your dick and balls with every movement. The other thing that stuck out to me was this fucking thing that looked like a crooked popcorn bowl attached to some kind of pole. Never having seen one of these before, I sat in it, as that is how it appeared to work.

It was amazing.

This fuckin thing automatically spins you right around when you sit in it, just like the supposed record in that old 80's song. It goes and goes, and it doesn't fucking stop. Someone call the fucking news because I have discovered a perpetual motion machine. Stepping off this thing, a little dizzy but very pleased, I went to go check out the playground itself.

On the playground, there was the standard tic-tac-toe game, but shockingly, NO MEME WHEEL! That's right, we finally have our first ever wheel-less playground. Honestly, I almost miss those fuckin things now.

Regardless, I also noticed these cool monkeybars, with the bars themselves attached to chains to give it a bit of a wiggle as you hung on. Points for creativity.

This slide sucks balls, too short and too curvy to actually get any kind of real speed on.

The bridge between the structures actually doubles as a climbing wall of sorts, which I thought was kind of a unique take on the whole thing, certainly more fun than an average bridge. The swirly slide that came afterwards was also pretty nice, as the generic swirly slide tends to be.

Finally I checked out the swings, which while functional, provided a somewhat poor experience. Whether due to the swing's construction, or due to my own pathetic fucking incompetence, I couldn't get any meaningful airtime out of these swings. I think this is, in part, due to the chain being a little too short, robbing swingers of the room needed to really build up some speed to break through those QPUS.

THE VERDICT: 6/10

Despite being small, this playground seems to be a small playground done right for the most part. The fuckin spinning thing is a goddamn blast, but half the slides were ass, the swings sucked, and the seesaw is just a plain bad idea if you're a guy. Despite the downsides though, along with the small size, it does cram enough fun into that small package to make me really ponder its place on here. Plus it doesn't have a fucking meme wheel, so thank you jesus christ.

I feel like with mild refinement, this could genuinely be a good place to play, but until then, I'm just gonna stick that goddamn spinner.

THEY STUCK THE MEME WHEEL ON THE GROUND AND MADE IT SPIN -YOU- INSTEAD

HOLY FUCK THIS PLAYGROUND HAS ASCENDED HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?

oh and uh, the wiggling monkeybars are a cool thing. that seesaw has a fucking weird design wtf is up with that

seems decent overall tho

THEY STUCK THE MEME WHEEL ON THE GROUND AND MADE IT SPIN -YOU- INSTEAD

HOLY FUCK THIS PLAYGROUND HAS ASCENDED HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?

do not sully the spinning fun cup with such heresy

Interesting review; I much appreciate these as I find them to be very enlightning of the type of state the park community is in at the moment.

One thing I would like to point out to everyone is the XOXO slider; notice how they seem to be arranged in very specific way almost as if its hiding a secret message. I took the time to decipher it since I know you're all busy people.

If you make the O shape with your mouth and try pronoucing the letter "X" you'll begin to notice that it sounds like you're saying the word "IS". There are 5 Os and 4 Xs respectively.

If you follow the swinger community you'll know that only the top tier thots have the QoS or Queen of Spades tattoo indicating that yes she is down with the swing; metaphor to the park? Maybe. Getting to the main point of why I mention this is because QoS and swingers almost can't be mentioned without thinking or also mentioning another online sexual movement.

So now we have IS, a QoS reference and 4 XXXs indicating sexual activity or partners. Know what the secret message is yet?


despair is a cuck