This post was last modified: Sep 23, 2017 at 4:23 AM by Fun With Despair.

While on my way back from the liquor store, I passed by Laval Park. Despite sounding like the name of a Lava/Circus themed Super Mario level, I went in, in search of playgrounds of course.

I found one.

Looking rather small, with a fine gravel ground and two benches, this playground sits basically in the middle of a secluded park, albeit one definitely more wide-open than the closed off likes of Trinity Park from earlier. The surroundings are nice at the very least, but as for the playground itself...

It has another spinning seat, this time copying the last one we saw instead of the ass-cup design. This one doesn't spin quite as well though, which disappoints. While the other seat one and especially the ass cup got some good speed going, this one kind of just flops around like a limp dick. There's also this little stepping stone/balance beam combo, which is servicable but boring compared to some of the other balancing attractions we've seen on this show.

Not much to say about these. They're fine but stiff for some reason.

There are a few different ways to get onto the playground, but none of them are particularly entertaining. All just staircases or basic pipe climbing implements of various shapes.

In case you're wondering what's in that second picture, it's me crouching like I'm playing fuckin snake eater or something just to get under these extremely short arches that are all over this playground. They're like five feet tall, and I'm sure even some kids would bash their heads on these stupid things by mistake.

Both of these slides blow. They're the kind of slides that start off strong but like, stop you the second you hit the flat part so you basically have to either stand up and get off the slide or butt scoot your way down. A true disappointment in many ways.

THE VERDICT: 3/10

Scoring the same as Trinity Park, it's a shitty score well deserved. While Trinity Park was just small but had decent craftsmanship, this place has an alright size but fucking sucks. Stiff swings, a worse spinner than the other playgrounds within walking distance had, these stupid fucking arches that cuck anyone above 9 years old, shit fucking slides, and a mediocre swing really leave nothing special or even good about this playground.

Still, it didn't instantly kill my phone battery upon taking a picture, so it has that.

laval is the city below mine

also that's a lot of meme wheel seats

Holy shit how boring can a playground be?

very

I'm laughing at all those seats

the seats and balance beam look like a sly cooper level

im pretty sure those are supposed to be like stepping stones not more seats
note the different shape compared to the one that spins

> fine gravel

Ah yes, the "fuck your elbows and knees" choice of playground padding

So why do playgrounds have stuff that hurts to fall on like gravel and woodchips? I jokingly called woodchips soft in my review but they aren't. Just leave it as grass.

shredded tire is the objective best though

So why do playgrounds have stuff that hurts to fall on like gravel and woodchips? I jokingly called woodchips soft in my review but they aren't. Just leave it as grass.

Well if it was grass they'd have to maintain it

I think I like tire chunks the best, they seem to be the only option that's actually soft

So, tire chunks aside, I feel like the majority of these playground padding methods aren't so much to protect knees and elbows, but more to cushion an actual fall, or your feet when you jump off.

Say what you will about gravel, but a foot of very fine gravel will definitely cushion a fall more than solid ground, even if there is grass.

No excuse for the woodchips though

here's the thing about grass
it's just going to turn into a mud pit and get ruined when it rains, and after that it'll be shit even if it's not raining