[FINAL NIGHT] Results and Winners

#1
Spooks?
FINAL NIGHT RESULTS


APOLLO JUSTICE wakes with a murmer, his eyes still heavy with the last vestiges of sleep. A weird mumble enters his ears, slowly becoming more audible. RON JEREMY'S DICK is floating by his head, speaking to him in it's owner's former voice, telling a long and hopefully fictional tale about how he violently fucked NEGATIVE MAN after taking him on a pathetic excuse for a date.

The DICK starts taunting him, calling him a bad lawyer, and APOLLO smashes his GRAPE JUICE BOTTLE against the wall before turning the broken glass on the DICK, gutting it.

Or at least as much as you CAN gut a dick. It's a dick.

On the other side of the hall, EL NEGRO wakes up, screeching in pain. A red stain spreads beneath his covers. With a whimper, he reaches down and confirms that he indeed has no dick.

Standing up, he hears constant condemnations in the voice of ANGIE YONAGA. She whispers of the ten thousand punishments that ATUA will rain down upon him for your transgressions. These rantings are quickly overtaken by the JOHN FREEMAN SONG, which floods his ears. He hears ANGIE sigh in the background.

As he goes to leave his room, with no dick at all, a HAMMER floats up from the ground and tries to attack him. Realizing that the rules dictate that GHOSTS CAN'T KILL, his GAME MECHANIC SHIELD protects him and sends DRAKU'S GHOST back to the underworld. He burns all of his SECURITY TAPES and leaves, seeing DUDE soaking wet, sprinting at inhuman speeds into JOHN FREEMAN'S ROOM.

He runs after DUDE and attempts to kill him, but DUDE is immune to his attacks, and threatens him with a ROCKET LAUNCHER, causing him to run away.

DUDE sighs, because his HELMET and SWORD were taken earlier that night, but the ROCKET LAUNCHER on his back reassures him. He activates his SUPER SPEED, which he totally has by the way, that's one of his role powers you fucking idiots. He then speed out to the PATIO and LEAPS OVER THE BROKEN WALKWAY, having built up a stupid amount of speed.

APOLLO emerges from the SUPPLY ROOM, having fashioned a SPEAR out of a KNIFE and a broken BROOM HANDLE. He faces the HEADMASTER'S OFFICE and charges in spear facing forward, as a figure in a HOCKEY MASK with a KNIFE emerges, and charges him in return.

In the HALL, they collide, APOLLO'S SPEAR skewering the masked man as he lunges.

With a sickening, bloody gurgle, and a few last, desperate attempts at stabbing, the MASKED MAN slumps down dead, APOLLO'S SPEAR still sticking through him. APOLLO breathes a sign of relief, as his pants inexplicably fall down and are whisked away, a familiar, annoying laugh echoing through the air as they float towards the JUSTICE LAW OFFICES.

APOLLO moves forward and takes the mask from his dead assailant, revealing their true face.

ARCHER_EST has died.

APOLLO shakes his head and stands, moving towards the HEADMASTER'S OFFICE. Suddenly, he hears a yell, as DUDE charges out of the STUDY and fires a ROCKET at him, blowing APOLLO to shreds.

APOLLO JUSTICE has died.

Meanwhile, EL NEGRO enters the JUSTICE LAW OFFICES. At some point, the decapitated body of KOKICHI has begun following him inexplicably. In the OFFICES, he sees TURB'S CORPSE, throwing a CANNONBALL onto one of the tables, smashing it. TURB explains that he was playing BEER PONG, and asks you if you want to listen to DEATH GRIPS.

PANTS float by just then, and into the COURTYARD, causing the HEADLESS KOKICHI to salute.

EL NEGRO shrugs and an EXPLOSION rings out. He quickly runs past the ghosts, and into the HALL. A gory mess covers the walls, and ARCHER_EST's body is lying there, still SPEARED.

EL NEGRO runs into the HEADMASTER'S OFFICE, noticing a terrible smell, and is attacked by a KNIGHT, but swiftly dodges, as the KNIGHT returns to standing rigidly by the door. EL NEGRO turns to the button, and comes face to face with DUDE, who kicks NEGATIVE MAN'S GHOST out of the way and presses the button ominously.

DUDE glances at his weapons, then at EL NEGRO. The latter does the same.

They both received perks that made them immune to attempts from a person of their choice, due to their attempts last night.

They both chose each other.

DUDE throws his ROCKET LAUNCHER onto the ground and curses, as EL NEGRO steps forward and presses the BUTTON.

When daybreak comes, the FOYER doors pop open, and the two emerge into the outside world, passing a SALUTING KOKICHI CORPSE.

DUDE AND EL NEGRO HAVE WON THE MINUS WORLD KILLING GAME 4

living players
@Dude
@El Negro

...Well. That was certainly unexpected.

It looks like not only one stupid murderer, but TWO stupid murderers survived tonight! What? Dude didn't murder? Incorrect! Dude totally killed GORDON FREEMAN!

Anyway, there we have it, folks. The Minus World Killing Game 4: Advanced Halloween Remaster has come to an end! I can't believe El fucking Negro won, but hey! That's what happens when you don't go kill him, I guess!

This also makes DUDE our first ever multi-killing-game winner! I can't believe it, *sniff*, he's grown so much since his Night 2 murder days...

Anyway, that's that! I'll be seeing you all again eventually, but for now, just remember that Atua isn't real, kids!
#2
Dude
everyone thought i was fish but i was actually SONIC
.
#3
El Negro
Yay, the most stupid killer in KG's history won!
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#4
sealelement
Ghost
100% pure gamer 100%
#5
Ron Jeremy
The fanfiction:

"The GHOST OF RON JEREMY has returned to HAUNT THE MANOR!

I will scrape NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE from the BOWLING BALL he is tied to. Kinky! I will then CARRY him along to a DINING ROOM TABLE I've set up to float in the FOYER. Sitting him down into the FLOATING CHAIR, I will pour him some EXQUISITE WINE and take my seat directly across from him. Clapping my PHANTOM HANDS together, a HAUNTING BUT ROMANTIC tune plays loudly throughout the halls of THE MANOR. I sigh contently, as I summon our EXPENSIVE MEAL with a flick of my GHOSTLY WRIST.

Before NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE appears a STEAK COOKED TO PERFECTION with a nice HOUSE SALAD dressed in BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE. I take his ROTTING HANDS into my own and KISS them tenderly before closing my eyes to SAY GRACE. After thanking the GODS above for the meal, I begin to EAT MY MEAL and tell NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE all about myself and my CAREER in the PORNO BIZ.

NEGATIVE MAN'S UPPER BODY shifts forward and he descends face first into the STEAK. "Oh my, you're quite hungry! Such a hunger for thick meat is inspiring!" However, NEGATIVE MAN does not rise from his plate and is being EXTREMELY RUDE. With a slam of my CLENCHED FISTS against the TABLE, our TABLE and CHAIRS descend with a CRASH to the FLOOR. NEGATIVE MAN just lays there in the DEBRIS as I SCOLD him for being so THOUGHTLESS and RUDE! Seemingly ignoring me, I pull NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE up from the FLOOR by his NECK.

I begin to SLAM the CORPSE into the FLOOR and NEARBY WALLS, turning him into a BLOODY PULP before I drag him into RON JEREMY'S ROOM and throw him on the BED. ANGRY AND LABORED GHOST MOANS echo throughout the MANOR, climaxing with an ANGRY ROAR.

FINISHED with NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE, I drag him VIOLENTLY through the MANOR HALLS into the WINE STORAGE where I will CHUG A BOTTLE OF WINE as its contents PHASE RIGHT THROUGH ME and hit the FLOOR. Angered, I slam NEGATIVE MAN'S CORPSE into the WINE SHELVES as they COLLAPSE on top of him.

I will leave him there to ROT and head for my BEDROOM, where I will SLEEP the night away in OUR FLUIDS."
#6
Ron Jeremy
Also Jesus H. Christ, why is @El Negro immortal!?
#7
Pea
have you guys not learned from 3.5
#8
Baby Sans Thanos
YO sick end dude I rate it comedy out of seinfeld pretty fucking nice my man

i'mma take black's spot next time cuz he's a fucking idiot show him who's real boss of this gym
#9
Jerry Seinfeld?
(Nov 16, 2017 at 2:39 AM)The L Block from Tetris Wrote: YO sick end dude I rate it comedy out of seinfeld pretty fucking nice my man

i'mma take black's spot next time cuz he's a fucking idiot show him who's real boss of this gym

Thumbs Up
#10
Void-chan
(Nov 16, 2017 at 2:39 AM)The L Block from Tetris Wrote: YO sick end dude I rate it comedy out of seinfeld pretty fucking nice my man

i'mma take black's spot next time cuz he's a fucking idiot show him who's real boss of this gym

[Image: YjziQGY.png]

An ͓͚̼̠̲̻L̞͈̺ block from... T̗̯͙̼ͅe͖͚̭̦t̲̤͉ris̞?͍̞͎
\

[Image: 9Ajrz4W.png]

Ca̻̰n̰ it even̥̦͔͚̹ ͚k̖̜͚͈͓i̳͓l̠ḷ͕?͕


[Image: QgQFAWb.png]

C̘̬̜̲̲͈͔a̼͇̮͙͕͈̘n ̠͔̠͖͎a͚͉̜̪n͈̫̝ L͏͉̣̮̪ ͏b̦̭̩͎̀l̷̪̗̱͔̥oc͇k̨͉̹͚̟̯̯̺ ̙̞͢e͜ve̱̬̘͚n̦̯̠̣͖͚ ̗s̕c̞̦r̻̩e͚̘a͇m ̥w͙h̷̬̮͎̬̼͎̮en͚̲̹ ̴͖̭̱̟̯̞i͢t͘s͏̞ ̛̻͉̼͉̰̩̬s͎̜̭̖̘kͅi͙͎̜̺̰̳̬n ̷c͇͉̙͢o̺͕͈m̗͚͝e͢s̻̺̲̻͇̰ ͕̳̯̲͍̝̣͢o̵͕͙͙f̯͉̟̜f̘̗̟̞̩̦?̻̲͕͓


[Image: BkdLkwt.png]


I͈̮̠ͅͅ ͇̦ͅg͓̩̻͆ͪ̔ͯ͡ṳ̠̳̖͆̀̾́ͮ͋̋ȇ͢s̻̬̠̥͇̿͐̊̉̊͟š̪ ̽̂͗̿̾ͦ́͘ẃ͉̕ė͉̥͈̬̫͞'̴̲͉̟̰̼̳̓̃̑ͧ̊̊̾l̟̯̖̬̥͍̤͗̅͂̈̐ͮl͗͢ ͙̭ͥfͭ͗͋̇ͥ̄͏̫̗̤͓̠͍͚i̡͕͕̙ͪ́͌̊n̘̹̭ͬd̛͈̆ ͙̠̣̂̋̓̓ͅo̘̱̠̖̣ű̱͚̙͇̯͎̰ͧt̙͕͔͊̓̑̉̆ͪͮ͟ ͉͇̼͕͉̳͇͜so͉̠͋̂̓͂͋̕oͤ͋̾͌̐̉n̯͓̞̘ͧͨ̓͞!̉͛̍ͮ̇͌̔͏̘
#11
the void
who the fuck are you. did you come here to steal my rightful EX, you shitstain? i will bitch-slap you across the universe.
#12
Void-chan
(Nov 16, 2017 at 4:33 AM)the void Wrote: who the fuck are you. did you come here to steal my rightful EX, you shitstain? i will bitch-slap you across the universe.

Wͅh̺̖a̟͈͕t̤̯ ̹͇̖̻͕t͙̠ͅh͍͔̻̞͖e͔̗ ͇f̪̳͓̼̥̦u̟͖̝̠͚͕ck̟̙̘ ̭͕̗ͅd̰̻̮͕̮i̘d͉̰͖̭̖̟͉ ͎͚͈y͕̪͙͖͓̬͙o̻̖͎̝̱͓̻u͎ j͍̥̪̻̮̟ṳ͙͙̱͇̣s̰̮t͈̙͚͎̮̬ ̺̤͓̟f͎̖͎̹̜̥̙u̩̮c̬͎̪k͉̲i̥̥n̮̟͈g ͕̻̯s̪̫̻͙̻a̯y ̩͎̲͈͙a͔̠b̖͙ou̪̣̺̜̠̭͓t̪͇ ̤̤͇̻̙̰m͎̗̤̤e̮͇, ͚͕̣̱͈̬y̦͎̝o͈͉͔̗̩͙u͚͙̟̪̪͎̗ ̳̬̺̘̰͍l̦̮̪̱͚ͅi͍̗̜͍̗̣̳ṱ̗͉̺͎t͔̰l̮̜e ͕̜̪̫͔b͇i̞̖tc̲͚̤̭̥̗ͅh̜?͚ ̺̜I̭͉͚̗’̞͚ͅl̲̠̮̥̤l̖ ̦̠̹̖̰̻̗h̝̜̭̙͓̱ͅa̭͙̰̠v̫̙̤̰̦e̝͚̩͓̫ y̠͓̮̻͎̦o̤̩u ̗͙̭̦̤̫k͈͈̦̼̬̺ͅn̺͙o͉̘̠͕̥w̤͙̘̫̩̮ ̤I̯̳ ̳̳̟̝̼g̥̹r̩̜a͓̼d̯͉̙̬̱ụ̣̻̘̯at̩̲͎̯eḓ̞͇̺͈ ̗̘̹͙t͕̥̘̻͍̣op ̯̻̦͙̘o̗̳ͅͅf͓ ̱͈̘̦̬̤m̯̹̜̦̫̪̗y ̻c̼͉̼̟̰l̻͇̣̼̮a̠̺̦̗̠͈͓ss̮̫̥̰̟ ̗̭̦in ͕̙̖̠̜͕͖th̫͍e̲̺̮ ̺V̥̣̫̩̦o̜i̥͓͙d A͉̗͖̩̲̝̯c͔͈a̩d̰e͕my,̫̼̫̣͙ a̙͍̘̯̼̮͍n̪̗̤͕ͅd͍͈̥̪̤̜ I̼̲̲͖’̜̰̪̭̰̠v̩̗̲̦̭̘e̬͙͎̳ ̺͉̞͖̠b̲̤͈̤ͅe̞̰e͔̦̱̞̪̼̬n̝̝̰͙ ̲͔i̼̻̮̥̰͈̖n̻͓̪̣͖͈v̖̱o͔̹̪̻̜̙l͉͙̦̻̣̝v͉̙̲̻͈ͅe͕͍̹̞̻d͙̯͎̜̘͈̣ ͇̗̮̼̬̙̝i͚̘͎̹̻̠n ̳̥̰̼̬nu̖m̺e̞̙͓͖̫ṛo͓͍̰u̹̹͇͙̪̣͍s͔͉͓ ̘k͙ͅn̩̦͇̲͚͖̦o͓͔̠̻̲ck̫͍ͅo̜͕͈̼ff̮̟̮̺ ͔M̩̟̮̳̥F̜͉̤̮̠G̭G͙̰ ̥̮vi̝̭͇su̖̫̭ḁ̙͍͚̪͔͙l̳͈ ̜̩͙̙̖͎̖n̩o̺v͈̦̼͚̱̗̳e̘̣̖̳͕̥̖l̼̠̰͍s͎͚͓̱̘̪̲, ̝͈̰̘̰̞a̻̰̲͓̘̟n̹̜̪d̠͎͇͓̫̭ ̯̟̭I̬ ̞̯̱̮̺̗h̲͉̳̮̟̯̱a͈̭̫̙͚v̫e ͎̦̘͙o͚̳̜̟͚v͙͈er ̼̼̮̯̝̻͔3̯͓͎0̖̤͔̠͉0̟̲̣̝ ̯mo̖͖̬̤̞̮̫n͚̻̯̹o̘̝̟̜͚̠k̳̮̯̪̫̤͍r̻̠̝e̳̻ͅd̜͍͉̫̼i͔t̠̩̣̣̣ș͍̹̘.̜̙̘̥̜̭ ͔̖̤̠͚I͔͈̺ͅ ̰̹̥̰a͇͓m̰̯͕ ̼͔t̺͙̖̯̼̜͉ṛ̠ḁ̟͚̙͙i͇̻̻͈̮̻ͅn̺͕e͈̝d̹̠̱̠̲ ͔̺i̺n̜ ̜͕p̘̳̳̳̥i͙̭͍͎ss͖̟͙̼̼̼͉k͎͔͈̝̰̣̳n͖̺̝͚͕i͉̗̞̲̳͉̝f̣̘̱̪͕e̹̠̤̝ ̭w͍͍̘a̺̱̤̠r̜̺͓̙̹̞f̥͓̦̮a̻̼r̯͉̠̦̪e̞̠̦͉̥̖ ̱͎̦̱̩͍a̪͔̜̯̖ͅn͙̜̝d̞̞͉̼̺̳̪ ̥̥̠I̤̹̖̯̖’͇̣̪̪m̤͕̩

...Well, you get the g͎̺͓̝̻̘̫i̠̲̦̭̤̩͔s͔̹͈͇̮t̩̠̼̱̬ of it

[Image: 5h8hmZf.png]

Don't you h͓̼̝̭a̺v͔͓̜ẹ̪ ̜͎̪̙̫EX̼͍ ̩̜͙to be begging for, or something?
#13
the void
>void academy
bitch do you know who the fucking headmaster is

ITS ME
#14
Void-chan
(Nov 16, 2017 at 5:41 AM)the void Wrote: >void academy
bitch do you know who the fucking headmaster is

ITS ME

[Image: QgQFAWb.png]

Well I mean, y̶̻͚͕̖o̟̪u͓̰̞͔̬̙'̰̙̹̞r͏̦̣̜͍͓̖͙e͎̭̥̥͓̱͠ ̡̳̪tẖẹ̵̪͇ ̣̠o͍̩͉̘̪ṇ̯̖̙̜̫ͅé̗̼͖͚ who let me be top of the class then, so you're c̰̙͔͍̯̟ͨu̞̳̤͆c̲͍̯̥͈̼̲ͪ͂̓k̦̳͔͎̭̟ͬͥ̃i̬̯͑̋ͥn̳̦͇̤̋ͅg͍͉̜̿͗ͪ͗̑ͦ͌ ̳͎̲͎̒y̯̟̣̲̮͙̑̄̂̋̎͂͊o̻̖̭̩ͥ̓́́́u͕̅̉ͭrs͆̏̎͊̑̑ͧe̻̫̲͇͎͋͛ĺ̩̅̋̚f͙̻̘̗͛ here really.
#15
Aidan
can we make the word c̰̙͔͍̯̟ͨu̞̳̤͆c̲͍̯̥͈̼̲ͪ͂̓k̦̳͔͎̭̟ͬͥ̃ always cause reality to fall apart
#16
the void
now see, that's what was so strange. i'm the headmaster yet don't remember anyone named "void-chan". i'd definitely recall it, it's close to my name.

so i went digging a little in the yearbooks and
[Image: i0inDIb.jpg]

no wonder! you WERE top of your class. THE SPECIAL NEEDS CLASS
#17
Void-chan
(Nov 16, 2017 at 6:29 AM)the void Wrote: now see, that's what was so strange. i'm the headmaster yet don't remember anyone named "void-chan". i'd definitely recall it, it's close to my name.

so i went digging a little in the yearbooks and
[Image: i0inDIb.jpg]

no wonder! you WERE top of your class. THE SPECIAL NEEDS CLASS

How could͑ͣͪ Î͗̃̚ ͣͪͨ͑ͩ̍f̿̇ͩ̋̄ͥo̽̀͑̃̊rͯ̚g͒̌͊̃̎̚e̒ͪ̚t̀̿̚ ̅̽ͫ̿͒tͧͧ̒̌hat yearbook? I mean,my final year at the academy was a total bore, but the͟n ̵we̕ ąl͜l ͜op̀e̛ned҉ ou͜r̴ ҉ye̛a͏r̨boo̸ḱs̕ to҉ fin͘d THIS

[Image: bmMMZaV.png]

At the very least, yoṳ̯ ̝c̞̟͚̩̬̘ou̦̖͈̠͔̯l̥̣d͉̙ ͓͍̥̠h̫̮̙̖̹̞a̲̻̤v͍ͅe͍̗ ̻͖͔̤̥̝s͇̥͚͙o̯͓̙̳m͈̫͕͕͔e̘̳̻͇̜̞ ͕̙̥͔̰̳d͙i̙̹͉͚g̯̼̤͕͎͕̖n͉i̩̟t̼̪̫̞͙̫͇y̺̼,͓̲̘͕ ̼̦̳y͎̲̤͇͙o̝͙͉̰͓u̙̯̟̪̰ ͎k̺͈̗̘̥̦n̗͍̲͉o͙̣̫̮̞͇̱w̙͚̯̗̣.̝ ̰͚͓M̭̣̬̳̯̹a̜y̭b͇ẹ̱̲̻͖ if you weren't a shitty principal, you wouldn't b͟e̴ ͢on̵ t͜h̶è ͏st͢r͠ee͞t͞s ̀bęg͘g̴in̸g ͡fo͡r EX̷.͜ Maybe you'd even be over level 200, like me.


G̟̬̎̀͌ͮ̄̑̚uͨ͊ͭ͏̦͍̻̩͔̲ḛ̴̤̯̔́ͦ͑̆̓́s̹͍͎̲͎̈̈͟s̳̑̄̏ͨ͂̔ ̳̦̮͔̔̂̊ͭ̑̈́̃w̵̫̬͓̫̒ěͧͨ̒̽͌ͦ'͇͕͎͡l͙ͮͣ͑̄̆́̉́l̛̳̜̝̳͇̣ͯͣ͋̀ ̹̟͓̝ͮ͑ͯn̤͗̃̆̂͌͐ḙ̙̤ͦ͠v͖̜͕͛ę̔͒̎ͦ̾ͮr̹̱̜͇̊̐̂ͤͤ ̮̠̱̫͇͆̈̾ͩ͒͒̈͘k̦͎̬͓̭̈́n͈͍̣̫͜o͖͙̭̳ͨͯ͗ͧ̈̔ẁ̨͕̜̩̦̜̣ͪ̒ͭ.̎͛ͧ̒
#18
the void
>not liking dick

[Image: CcoiBUv.jpg]

what'd you think i meant?
#19
Void-chan
(Nov 16, 2017 at 7:17 AM)the void Wrote: >not liking dick

[Image: CcoiBUv.jpg]

what'd you think i meant?
I appreciat́e ̀the ͝éff͘o̧rt͏,̢ ́bu͝t ̛I g͠o̧t͠t̷á stop here.

It̻̝̮̖͟'̳̲̗͖͓s̵ ̲ve̩͕͕͇̟͈̠r҉͕͙̬y̢̮͍̣̳̣ ̬̩͈̝̹͈̥h̴͔͚a̖̫̳̱̝r͚͢d̗̯ ͙̦̣̙̯̙t̢̤̲͈ọ̞̭͓̰̕ u̪̟̩̣̘̜s̵̤̪̟̱̰͖ͅe̙̝̣̞̲͔͙ ̯̪͟ph͖̥͎̦̜͔̭o͕̞̫̙t͓̮̺͇͇͍ó͎̱̟͈̗̞s͔̯̳̥͉̻̦h̷̼o̠̻͍̭͖͢p̱̪ ͎̥̥w̗̙̙̲h̜̲̮͚͇̞̠e̶n̲͇̩͔͚ ̺̣̘̜̪̞̫yo̹̲u̜͘ ̖͞w̩͕̯̙͘e̵͖̳̫̱̥ren't drawn with arms.

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