"And now, once again, the time has come. Doesn't it just feel like such a waste at this point to throw away a human life like this? I mean, come on, it was only Shoey who got killed after all. Who's gonna miss that guy? Not me.

But, that's the fun of it, right? String someone up, I say. Let the slaughter continue!

So yeah. Place your votes. I'll abstain this time, just to make things fair. Your numbers are looking pretty low there, you know."

Xavier.

Xavier.

"Nice try, fuck face. Come up with that one yourself? Real original."

Ainsley

It's too early to call but I'll toss up a vote to heat up the discussion. Ainsley's katana is mysteriously missing and nobody else would know where to find it, but we don't yet know that it's the murder weapon.

I pick up the knife hearts mentioned and attempt to turn it into a katana with "virgin powers"

I pick up the knife hearts mentioned and attempt to turn it into a katana with "virgin powers"

pick your ass up out of the trial thread first, idiot

Anyway, you pick up the knife, and attempt to use your virgin powers to transform it into a katana. You feel your virginity swell up inside you, and you're bursting at the seams from its power. With the unbreakable resolve forged in the fires of nofap, to the sage wisdom granted to you by 4chan's /r9k/ board, you channel it all into the knife, when suddenly...

nothing happens.

it's still a kitchen knife

Sorry, wrong thread yeah.

I'm just gonna throw out a tentative Godbert vote. Going off the assumption that shoey died where he is then I highly doubt he just slept through it. Still waiting for more evidence but it's either Godbert or Hillary for me.

Doesn't look like I'm getting a result from my investigation in time. As much as I want to think he's at fault, I don't think Xavier would kill when everyone submitted an attempt of some sort, and between me, Ainsley, and Godbert, I know it wasn't me and I think the evidence is more against Ainsley than Godbert, so I'm going to have to vote for Ainsley

Im sorry Ainsley

"Let's just cut to the chase, why don't we?

For your final lynching (by vote anyway I'm still going to fucking kill you), you've elected to make @Ainsley Harriott your sacrifice, sending him off to a horrible fate in the hopes of avenging your useless little stooge.

...

And I guess, well, he's guilty, so I suppose it's no big loss, now is it? His kill was junk, if we're being honest, but I kinda liked the guy. More than most of you, anyway. I guess that's what happens when you spend 50% of your time in the game shitting on the cameraman, you get into my good books."




"Still gonna kill him though. I don't like him THAT much.

Buckle up, cheese boy. It's punishment time."

---

Xavier whistles towards the woods, and the final Monokuma comes trudging out, clad in the Big Daddy suit, though it is in quite a terrible state indeed. In its arms it carries block upon block of cheese. All varieties of cheese. Smoked, gouda, blue cheese, cheddar, mozzarella, 100% real parmesan, and all other cheeses you can imagine. It approaches Ainsley, and begins to feed him.

Ainsley looks down at the cheese being offered to him, and grabs it from the Monokuma's hand before the forcefeeding can begin. He grabs chunk upon chunk of cheese from the bewildered Monokuma as it just stands there, unsure of what to do. It looks back at Xavier, who just kind of shrugs. Ainsley continues to eat and eat, and Xavier begins to worry that overstuffing this fat fuck with cheese might not actually kill him after all. Dude seems bottomless, and not in the way that implies he's missing his pants.

Suddenly, Ainsley holds up his hand. His long, leather trenchcoat flaps in the wind, and the moon rises high behind him. He takes a knee, and draws his katana. After a deep breath, he puts the blade against his stomach, and slices himself almost in two, cheese and blood gushing from the massive wound. He gives one, final tip of his fedora as he falls to the ground dead.

Back by the Fountain, Gordon Ramsay gives out a whoop of excitement, as he declares himself to be the final chef standing.

---

Ainsley has been executed. His role was the Ultimate Swordmaster

role description: Show

While the other players were committing murders, you were training your mind. While the other players were spreading piss throughout the house, you were mastering the blade. Now, it is time for you to show everyone what you can do. They will all cower in fear before you, for you are… the Ultimate Swordmaster.

You are armed with a katana, which you can hide perfectly within the long, black trenchcoat you always wear. No one will detect it on your person unless they search the coat. Over the years, you have honed your speed to a point where you can teleport as well, being able to instantly blink across rooms. However, you’re too obsessed with being cool, so you can only use this ability if you are teleporting behind someone.

You also have a fedora, which you wear on your head. Once per night, you can tip it to someone in greetings, which will sicken them and cause them to instantly leave the room, giving you a good chance to get some alone time. Not that you want it though, god you’re so lonely.

FORBIDDEN ACTION: Above all else, you are a true gentleman. As such, you cannot allow yourself to injure a female dupe.

"Another ruined execution, huh? Oh well, unlike that fucking monkey, at least he was an active participant. Speaking of participation though, you basement dwellers had better come up with something quick, or you'll be stuck here forever.

I've got the Admin Keycard, after all, and I can get the hell out of here whenever I want. This is MY playing field, you feeble fucks, so listen up while I give you a couple options:

Option 1: Give me the treasure, and I'll kill you quick, and that'll be that. I'll have my treasure, and I'll use it however I please. You'll be dead, so it'll be no big loss.

Option 2: Don't give me the treasure, stay under the Chapel, and I'll leave you to get consumed slowly by the madness of time itself while I rig the Arcadia Laboratory to blow, then take a comfy little cable car ride home and live out the rest of my days in the comfort of my own (particularly large) home as an evil spooky monster. Sounds good? Yeah, thought it would.

As for you remaining above ground, I'll make you a deal. If our dear treasure hunters come out, I'll offer you a safe ride home on the cable car if you manage to kill one of them. Talk about a deal, am I right? Of course I am.




"I'll give you a little bit to think about your options before you have the chance to submit and surrender yourself to one of two horrible fates.

Choose wisely, dipshits."