The week of torture begins. I hopped in my car and set off to Burger King. I arrived at 3pm. There was a shockingly long line of cars wrapped around the building. Was there some special event going on? Why at this time would there be so many people at Burger King of all places? I never got my answer. I pulled up to the speaker and placed my order. One Impossible Whopper, one Crispy Chicken Sandwich, and a side of fries. No cheese. They did not have any tacos listed on their menu. I pulled forward, got my food, and headed back home.

Up first, the Impossible Whopper. I removed it from its wrapping and took a closer look. Under the bun I found a thin patty smeared with mayonnaise and topped with raw onion, sliced tomato, and lettuce. I took a bite. The taste of onion and the stink of mayonnaise was all was met with. I then promptly wiped off the toppings. I would have liked to have the vegetables still but they were unfortunately slathered in the mayonnaise. I continued eating the burger. It really did just taste like a hamburger. Unfortunately with no toppings anymore there was not much to it. The patty itself lacked the consistency of a standard hamburger, and flaked apart some.


Next I opened up the crispy chicken sandwich. I did not want to make the same mistake twice and promptly removed the mayonnaise from the chicken and bun. The sandwich then only consisted of a chunk of fried chicken breast on a brioche bun. It tasted burnt for some reason. I removed the bun and inspected the meat a second time. It did not appear to be burnt at all, but it did appear to be overcooked. I reconstructed the sandwich and finished my meal. I did not feel like the sandwich was worth the asking price of over $6 for what is basically two chicken tenders merged into one on a bun.

Overcooked and uninspired.

After finishing I felt sick to my stomach and immediately began coughing up phlegm. I don't know if that was related to the meal or not but google results imply it could be acid reflux related. Almost nine hours later, though, I still feel the pain in my gut.
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Well there you have it folks, Satan himself thinks mayonnaise is so awful that it doesn't even belong in Hell.
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I don't really get the point of putting all this liquidy stuff on crispy chicken sandwiches; it's not gonna be crispy anymore just get a grilled one
day 1 and you're already on webMD trying to figure out if you're dying
satan please do not risk your health eating this trash

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