Day 6 - Kentucky Fried Chicken - The crossover episode.

#1
Satan
I really didn't feel like getting more fast food yesterday. I think my body is starting to gain an aversion to it. I decided that instead of reviewing a fast food item I would instead review the video game "I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator".

There are a lot of images so I will put the entire review inside a spoiler tag. There are also spoilers for the game itself.

Spoiler:

After completing the game, I felt like just posting my review of it would be unfair to the spirit of the garrison. However, I did not have the energy and went to sleep. Today I did manage to make it to the restaurant. I had yet another confusing interaction in the drive-through. They no longer sell the Mac & Cheese Bowl, so I had to improvise. I looked up when the item was removed and apparently it was back in January last year. So I guess this special item that they made an entire video game to promote was so unpopular that it lasted just a few months.

I ordered a side of mac & cheese. I was given the options "Small" and "Large". Easy enough, I picked the small one. I then tried to order popcorn chicken and was given the options "Large" and "Family". I inquired which was the smaller one and the cashier did not seem to understand my question. He simply asked again whether I wanted the Large or Family size. This exchange repeated a few times before I just said "give me the smaller one" and he finally seemed to understand.

Collection
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The glass of water was not from KFC.

Pot Pie
The Pot Pie was much larger than I was expecting. I thought I would be getting a small, one serving, pie. Instead I got what seems to be a meal for two people. I took out the plastic spork that was given to me at the drive-through and dug in. What I found was unsatisfying to say the least.
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The first problem is that there is no crust beyond what you see on top. That is not how a pie works, get your shit together, KFC. What is inside the pie is a horror show. Pieces of shredded chicken, carrots, potato, and peas swim in some sort of goo. I think it's supposed to be gravy... but it doesn't have the consistency of gravy or any taste. The chicken and vegetables did at least have a flavor but the entire experience was brought down significantly by the goo. The crust was indeed flaky as advertised and probably the only part of the meal safe for consumption. I managed to make it about halfway through the pie before reluctantly setting the rest aside for tomorrow.

1/5
Cursed.

Mac & Cheese Bowl (False)
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The Mac & Cheese was smaller than I expected. I know I ordered a small, but I was expecting a bit more. I later discovered that there was actually quite a lot packed into that small bowl. The pop corn chicken seemed fine. There were some small pieces in the box that seemed to just be shards of just fried breading. Anyways it's time to assemble the Mac & Cheese Bowl.

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That was easy. KFC why did you have to take this off your menu? You have all the ingredients and it's so quick to put together. Time to eat. Unfortunately the spork they supplied is too flimsy to pierce the hard shell of the chicken. I instead had to resort to scooping up entire pieces into my mouth. It actually tasted okay. The chicken was fine and the mac & cheese was fine too. It was creamy and the chicken was crispy. Compared to Domino's chicken bites I would say Domino's are better. The breading on KFC's might be superior but the meat inside is of a better quality at Domino's.

3/5
I'd probably order this if it was still on the menu.

Warning, you do not have to read this next part. If any of you are wondering why I post these reviews so late in the day, it is because part of the fast food reviewing process is my body's reaction to the food. Something here gave me some terrible shits. I don't know which item it was, but I think I'll put blame on the pot pie first.
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#2
sealelement
great post satan, thank you for putting your literal health and well-being on the line yet again in pursuit of the reviews. i know the notion of eating any KFC at all makes me want to throw up- and hey, it even looks like that pot pie has already been regurgitated once!
SEAL FOR ADMINERATOR
#3
Aidan
i would actually fuck both the evil characters in the kfc game. do they have routes?

i'm not gonna comment on the food but i will share this lovely story about kfc
Quote:Sanders sold Kentucky Fried Chicken in 1964, and after food conglomerate Heublein purchased the company in 1971, the cantankerous colonel began to deride the chain’s gravy as “slop” and its owners as “a bunch of booze hounds.” Although still the public face of the company, Sanders so disliked Kentucky Fried Chicken’s food that he developed plans to franchise “The Colonel’s Lady’s Dinner House” restaurant—which he opened with his wife in Shelbyville, Kentucky, in 1968—as a competitor. When Heublein threatened to block the plan, Sanders sued for $122 million. The two sides settled out of court, with Sanders receiving $1 million and a chance to give a cooking lesson to Heublein executives in return for his promise to stop criticizing Kentucky Fried Chicken’s food. The renamed “Claudia Sanders Dinner House” was allowed to remain open and is still in operation.
#4
Draku
damn satan you spoil us. not only a review of a shitty VN but of the shitty food it's advertising as well.

that pot pie seems fucking disgusting. as expected of kfc. i'm shocked to hear that the mix of kfc's chicken and mac and cheese is edible, the chicken there is so terrible normally. maybe the popcorn chicken is a little better? i'm not excited to find out. if only the chain was as good as it is in japan over here, and thats not even a weeb comment that's just elevating it to the standards of most other fast food places lmao.

hilarious that they made a game to promote a menu item taken off like 3-4 months later. must have been a smashing success
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