This post was last modified: Jan 30, 2021 at 2:16 PM by Elyk.

@Rubber Duck's corpse has been found.

They were the Ultimate Clumsy Silver [Garbage]

Abilities
-if you dont post an account you MUST show every other player your genitalia the following night
-Doors will always open in a way that hits you in the face and potentially knocks you out.
-You are actually a walking baby, and none of the other players can understand you when you speak. Your rage at this makes you attempt every night, and if you fail to submit a murder plan, your character will perform a reckless attempt out of rage
+Deal guaranteed Critical Hits on burning players, allowing you to kill them even with strangling or punches

Case File
- Rubber Duck's body was found in the Bad Dragon Room.
- There are burn marks all over the body.
- A jewel case for the album For Me, It's You by Train is next to the corpse.
- Dunkey has been freed.
- Donkey has been freed.
- Demonic levels have risen in the facility.

MAP

Room Descriptions: Show

Bedroom - Contains a bed and a nightstand. Players sleep here. The bed is just a mattress on the floor with a sheet.
Donkey Stable: A donkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
Dankey Stable: A marijuana growing setup is tied up to one of the walls. It has nutrients, water, and air conditioning.
Dunkey Stable: Hit Youtuber Dunkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
MGS3 Ladder: The ladder has a height of 411 feet according to Google so about 30 floors at 14 feet/floor
Bathroom: time to take a piss
Summoning Circle: Room with a summoning circle drawn on the floor in dried blood. You can probably summon a demon here if you try hard enough.
Chicken Run Room: Filled with nothing but memorabilia from the film "Chicken Run", including soda cups, action figures, and the PS1 game. Console not included.
Bomb Room: Littered with bombs. None of them are armed.
MAN CAVE: A MAN CAVE plastered with guy stuff like sports teams and action movie posters, with a leather sectional couch, a Pac-Man machine, a big TV, and an Xbox One with Call of Duty, and a beer fridge
Dunkey Stable: Hit Youtuber Dunkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
KFC: Small lobby from a KFC restaurant. Has a clerk at the cashier who you can order food from.
Dairy Farm: Room contains three cows, all ready to be milked. They have some food and there is equipment to care for them.
Arm Armory: Walls are lined with several prosthetic arms.
Nut Button: Inside this small room is a podium with a button that loudly says "NUT" when pressed.
Laundry Room: Room contains one washer and one dryer along with detergents.
Bad Dragon Room: Oh no
Electric Box: The power breakers for the facility are located inside this box. After being turned off they automatically reset if it's safe to.
Poison Room: This room is perpetually filled with toxic gas that cannot exit the room. Anyone who enters dies within seconds.
Twister Mat: Wall to wall is a mat for the game Twister
Pizza Oven: Large brick oven suitable for cooking pizzas.
Additional info on rooms can be found here.

Living Participants
@Two_Finger
@Kramer
@Fun With Despair
@Hearts
@Feetio
@Superchao
@Ram Ranch Redemption

Voting will end Saturday at 8:30pm EST (That's about 20 hours from the time this post went up)

This post was last modified: Jan 30, 2021 at 5:52 AM by Fun With Despair.

I'll be the first to put out my account, I suppose.

When I woke up, I figured I'd head to the man cave and listen to some music, so I passed through Hearts' empty room and into the laundry room, where I slipped and totally wiped out. Someone walked past me to KFC, but it was dark and I am afraid of laundry so I went to the man cave instead. I grabbed a random CD as Ram Ranch entered with a cow and began playing video games. I left the jewel case, as Ram Ranch can maybe attest as he was in the room.

The album by Train WAS what I was listening to, but I have no idea why it was in the Bad Dragon room. Ram Ranch might have moved it, or maybe someone else who submitted to grab a random album? Regardless, I slapped that shit in a Walkman like a true boomer and listened to it.

Anyway I went to go check out the Donkey, as I was getting lonely and the gay cowboy was making me jealous as his friendship with the cow was very solid and wholesome. I go back into the laundry room, and notice the lights are on. I also see Feetio, who enters the summoning circle room with me but fucks off into the bathroom. When I encounter the Donkey, he is also looking lonely so I decide to put together a friend group, a bit of a squad.

I untie the Donkey as Two Finger goes into the arm armory and ride him over to Dunkey, where we get to work trying to free him. The Donkey does not have fingers so he isn't much help but luckily Kramer shows up and helps me untie Dunkey. I ask Dunkey to come smoke some weed with the Donkey and I in the Dankey Stable, but Kramer deadass asks if Dunkey can fondle his balls in another room and Dunkey decides he'd rather go do that and they head out to the right hallway.

The Donkey and I decide we don't need no ball fondler anyway, and we go into the Dankey Stable and smoke that kush all night long until we fall asleep.

To begin with investigation questions though, what's the bomb room looking like? does rubber duck look just burned or could it have been blown up?

what's the bomb room looking like?

Just about every bomb remaining in the bomb room has a prosthetic arm attached to it. It looks like some bombs might be missing but you have no clue how many or of what type.

does rubber duck look just burned or could it have been blown up?

You inspect Rubber Duck's corpse some more. You find that aside from the heavy burn marks there is bruising on both the front and back of her head. Her neck is also snapped.

how's the bad dragon room? scorched at all? does it look like rubber duck was moved in? are the dildos scattered around as though a blast went off?

how's the bad dragon room? scorched at all? does it look like rubber duck was moved in? are the dildos scattered around as though a blast went off?

There is some scorching but only around where Rubber Duck lay. The dildos do look like they were disturbed, but they are not blasted off the shelves. Some dildos might be missing. You notice laying next to Rubber Duck's corpse is a Komodo Dragon Pepper Power Dildo.

I pick up the Komodo Dragon Pepper Power Dildo and inspect it, keeping the tip facing away from me for... reasons

I pick up the Komodo Dragon Pepper Power Dildo and inspect it, keeping the tip facing away from me for... reasons

You pick up the Komodo Dragon Pepper Power Dildo and start to jack it off. It fires a burst of flames out the tip.

As I awoke, something whooshed over my head, like most jokes. Ignoring it, I rose from bed, and left to Dunkey Stable, where Twofinger, the sick fuck, immediately does something I'd rather not repeat, along with feeding me Video Game Dunkey, famous YouTube content creator, supply of food. Spaghetti and meatballs, to be exact. As Two does this, Superchao is also leaving to the north, whilst the YouTuber himself is tied up in a corner.

Finishing our meal, I require seconds, so I leave with Twofinger, heading east into the Chicken Run area. We split up here, and I leave towards the KFC, via the dark Laundry Room. Within the KFC itself is Kramer, arguing with the clerk. I grab a couple of packets of ketchup, and leave back to the Laundry Room, where FWD joins me.

We split up at the Summoning Circle, where Twofinger also temporarily rejoins me, before I leave for the bathroom, where I have to piss. After taking a long piss, I return to an unspecified location to sleep for the night.

I'd like to take a look at Duck's neck and head. Are there marks on her neck indicating she was hung or grabbed by her neck? Do the bruises on her head have any kind of shape that seems distinct or are they just big bruises?

I'll smack my own head against the wall, not as hard obviously but enough to bruise. Similar shape?

I'd like to take a look at Duck's neck and head. Are there marks on her neck indicating she was hung or grabbed by her neck? Do the bruises on her head have any kind of shape that seems distinct or are they just big bruises?

I'll smack my own head against the wall, not as hard obviously but enough to bruise. Similar shape?

There are no marks on the neck that indicate
hanging or grabbing.
The bruises do not have distinct shapes.

You smack your head against the wall. The bruise is similar.

as I exit into Dunkey's room, I spy schao masturbating right in dunkey's face
schao finishes so I go steal some food when feetio comes in and I share some with him
the two of us pass through the CR room, feetio into the laundry while I head into the bad dragon room
in here, rubber duck has been knocked out so I wake her up, she searches through the dildos confusedly
I grab some of the things myself and head into the CR room, where I see kramer searching, then pass towards the summoning circle
feetio enters the bathroom from here and then fwd and I enter the donkeyt stable, where he frees the donket
equipping myself with Arms, I spot ram ranch leave from the bomb room and enter the donkey stable
once I enter the bomb room myself, I see that all the bombs have been armed
ram ranch comes back this way and we enter the man cave together. where he plays games with a cow
ending the night off I decide to sing snake eater in the mgs3 ladder room, schao slides downt he ladder and leaves

Aright aright, I got a lot of things to say, some of them in order, some of them not, so llllisten up!

So I passed through the Despair Man and Hearts' empty bedrooms and the summoning circle, right? I kept thinking this snoozefest was going to be a waste of money if I'm not even going to run into anybody, but just like that, wwwwHAM! Dead body in the Laundry Room! Actually, uh, wasn't quite dead, he looks like he fell and couldn't get up. That's what you get for skipping gym class, bucko.

God was crying his eyes out from the sky all the way over to this place, so I desperately needed to dry my jacket off. But since my friend Newman broke my dryer making enchiladas and the Laundry Room's one looked sketchy, I went ahead and just put it in the Pizza Oven. Smelling that smoky pizza scent got me starving, so I went ahead and dropped down to the KFC for a bite. There was just one problem, though: they didn't have any consentually fried chicken! All of the chicken they butcher and deep-fry, they didn't even get their permission! Do you know how rude that is, Jer-oh right he's not here. Oh. Regardless, I got fed up with his arguing and babbling about some guy passing through cow-riding and I decided to give him a piece of mind....well, with what, I still hadn't thought about.

So then I was wanderin' around the map (oh, the Laundry Room's lights were back on, by the way), where I found the perfect solution: an entire room of chicken memorabilia! It's poetic justice if I ever saw it! So I took some random action figure, during this time this poor leper with two fingers goes from the Bad Dragon Room to the Laundry Room, and made my way back to the KFC. Except somebody was already chatting with the clerk, this, uh, Hearts guy. Don't ask me what they were discussing, it was some freaky Japanese-sounding show. I tried to tell him that the chicken he was buying didn't even ASK to be battered in 13 secret herbs and spices, but they wouldn't hear me. Ah, screw it, I just left.

The brochure said there was a bone mowing room to the right of the KFC, but there was nothing there! Not even a sign about bone mowing renovations in progress! What a rip! By the time I return from the Pizza Oven to collect my extra-smoky jacket (few burn holes, but I feel I can pull it off), I notice Hearts left KFC for the Laundry Room, and while he goes for the Summoning Room, I head off for wherever Kramer takes me.

And Kramer led me to this guy all chained up, just looking sorry for himself! That emo despair fanatic was already untying him, but I figured I might as well help out. The despair man offered him some pot, but he had to shout it out of his lungs because of the tunes playing through his headphones. C'mon, this ex-convict could do better than that! Instead, I invited him to come down and chat with me in the Man Cave, and clearly, he was a man of refined taste when he chose me over that weird scarf guy.

When we came in, I noticed this rather dapper cowboy playing something with his cow. We all feel like that sometimes, pardner. I offer him a fine Cuban cigar, Castro-style, but the guy said he wanted to play some video game instead. I asked him who exactly was he, and he claimed he was this popular "youtuber" named Donkey. Wait a second, I know what the creep's talking about! My friend Diego told me about this, he's one of those drug cartel wackos who shove tubes down people's throats and forcefeed them pig feces and bile until they're forced to talk! And to think I almost wasted a good cigar on him! While his back is turned, since I didn't want to gaze into his cold, long-dead eyes, I knnnnnocked him out with my action figure until he slumped to the ground! That's what you get, sicko, that's what you GET!

Oh, and then I just fell asleep afterwards. Tiring stuff, George, tiring stuff.

I want to grab some laundry from the laundry room and use raw chicken from KFC to stuff the clothes and make a weird human shaped raw chicken meat golem.

I then want to blast it with the dildo fire and see if the meat golem goes flying backwards into the wall with any force.

I want to grab some laundry from the laundry room and use raw chicken from KFC to stuff the clothes and make a weird human shaped raw chicken meat golem.

I then want to blast it with the dildo fire and see if the meat golem goes flying backwards into the wall with any force.

You get some meat and clothes to construct a golem. You don't need much because Rubber Duck is baby-sized after all. You jerk off the Komodo Dragon Pepper Power dildo and get it to spray fire out. It does not knock the golem backwards.

Is Rubber Duck situated behind the door in any way? If I opened the door and intentionally smacked myself with it, would I land similarly to how Duck is?

-wake up
-go to dunkey room
-masturbate
-2f shows up
-enter dankey room
-interrogate weed, receive no results
-go to ladder
-climb ladder, sing
-slide down
-2f shows up from chicken run
-he sings. climb the ladder, fuckass
-go back to bed

Is Rubber Duck situated behind the door in any way? If I opened the door and intentionally smacked myself with it, would I land similarly to how Duck is?

Rubber Duck is in the middle of the room.

I will grab a knife from KFC and cut off Duck's head at the point where her neck breaks.

Does her spine look as though it was twisted apart, pulled apart, snapped to one side, etc.?

I will grab a knife from KFC and cut off Duck's head at the point where her neck breaks.

Does her spine look as though it was twisted apart, pulled apart, snapped to one side, etc.?

You perform a crude autopsy using some plastic utensils found in KFC. You're not really a doctor but you're able to determine that it was snapped to one side.

First thing I did was arm the bombs with arms from the armory. Funny joke please laugh

Next I went to KFC and ordered some chicken. While I chatted up the clerk, Kramer passed through to the pizza oven

I got my chicken and went toward the summoning circle. Saw Kramer again in the laundry room; he was heading to the chicken run room. I tried to use my chicken as a catalyst to summon a servant but Satan showed up to do a food review instead. He made me watch him eat it, rated it 0/5, and scolded me for offering him such bullshit. I'm sorry Satan.