@Feetio's corpse has been discovered.

They were the Ultimate Granular Site [Garbage]

Abilities
-Your character is secretly a racist.
-Forbidden action: Ending the night without having eaten something
-Touching water melts you
+Block one attempt that would have succeded on yourself.
-Forbidden action: Taking candy from strangers

Case File
- Feetio's body is laying in the middle of the Poison Room.
- Also in the Poison Room is a bomb detonator and a few pieces of model train track.
- A jewel case for the album For Me, It's You by Train is next to the corpse.
- A bomb has gone off in the Pizza Oven, damaging part of KFC.
- A bomb has gone off in the Donkey Stable.
- Hoof prints can be found leading from the Dairy Farm to the Train Room.

MAP

Room Descriptions: Show

Bedroom - Contains a bed and a nightstand. Players sleep here. The bed is just a mattress on the floor with a sheet.
Donkey Stable: A donkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
Dankey Stable: A marijuana growing setup is tied up to one of the walls. It has nutrients, water, and air conditioning.
Dunkey Stable: Hit Youtuber Dunkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
MGS3 Ladder: The ladder has a height of 411 feet according to Google so about 30 floors at 14 feet/floor
Bathroom: time to take a piss
Summoning Circle: Room with a summoning circle drawn on the floor in dried blood. You can probably summon a demon here if you try hard enough.
Chicken Run Room: Filled with nothing but memorabilia from the film "Chicken Run", including soda cups, action figures, and the PS1 game. Console not included.
Bomb Room: Littered with bombs. None of them are armed.
MAN CAVE: A MAN CAVE plastered with guy stuff like sports teams and action movie posters, with a leather sectional couch, a Pac-Man machine, a big TV, and an Xbox One with Call of Duty, and a beer fridge
Dunkey Stable: Hit Youtuber Dunkey is tied up to one of the walls. He has food, water, and air conditioning.
KFC: Small lobby from a KFC restaurant. Has a clerk at the cashier who you can order food from.
Dairy Farm: Room contains three cows, all ready to be milked. They have some food and there is equipment to care for them.
Arm Armory: Walls are lined with several prosthetic arms.
Nut Button: Inside this small room is a podium with a button that loudly says "NUT" when pressed.
Laundry Room: Room contains one washer and one dryer along with detergents.
Bad Dragon Room: Oh no
Electric Box: The power breakers for the facility are located inside this box. After being turned off they automatically reset if it's safe to.
Poison Room: This room is perpetually filled with toxic gas that cannot exit the room. Anyone who enters dies within seconds.
Twister Mat: Wall to wall is a mat for the game Twister
Pizza Oven: Large brick oven suitable for cooking pizzas.
Train Room: This room is utterly filled to the brim with model trains on model tracks, to the point where it's difficult to walk through the room without tripping over a power cable or train track.
Additional info on rooms can be found here.

Living Participants
@Two_Finger
@Kramer
@Fun With Despair
@Hearts
@Superchao
@Ram Ranch Redemption

Voting will end Monday at 10:00pm EST (That's about 20 hours from the time this post went up)

-wake up
-try to kill feetio, miss out
-go to train room with hearts
-hear nut button
-we have a great time
-hear two explosions during this
-see ram ranch as i go south
-end kfc, see explosions
-chicken run mascot arrives
-flex, destroying suit
-go to laundry room
-take a bath
-be sad that i didn't kill feetio

This post was last modified: Feb 1, 2021 at 7:23 AM by Fun With Despair.

Well, seeing as how I see everyone as Bubsy, this account is going to be a bit awkward but here goes:

I actually had quite an intricate plan for the night, but you'll see how that went. Anyway, I woke up and looked for my ass but found him nowhere in sight so I figured I left him in the weed place. I headed there but someone KO'd me in Kramer's room and I woke up later by the Nut Button where I went down to the Dankey Stable to find my noble steed. We rode down to the Chicken Run room where I changed into a Chicken Run mascot suit as some random Bubsy came up and started playing with my ass. Not cool, dude.

After I was suited up, I took the Donkey to the Bad Dragon room where I found a dead Bubsy and the fire dildo. I picked up the fire dildo and rode to KFC, where a buff Bubsy's shirt exploded off. When he was gone, I noticed that the oven was exploded and there was a terrified Bubsy behind the counter. Holding the fire dildo like a gun, I presented a blunt from the Dankey Stable and demanded that the employee put on the mascot suit, smoke the blunt, and ride the Donkey to Feetio's room, hiding under his bed to spook him later. The employee seemed unhappy about this but complied.

Then I took a knife from KFC and went to the Summoning Circle to lie in wait. My plan was to stab the first person who came in and sacrifice them to Satan, summoning him so that I could pass him the dildo so he could dispose of it. My plan was to claim that I was the one in the mascot suit riding to Feetio's room and scaring him, therefore I couldn't have done it. Unfortunately, that did not come to pass as no one entered the Summoning Circle.

I headed to the Laundry Room and noticed a KO'd Bubsy in the washer. I dragged him out and climbed in myself to sleep.

-try to kill feetio, miss out

explain this

also I'd like to check Feetio for injuries at all, as well as generally check the poison room and his bedroom.

also I'd like to check Feetio for injuries at all, as well as generally check the poison room and his bedroom.

Feetio has no injuries.

You check the Poison Room. Feetio's corpse is laying in the middle of the room. His body is orientated in a way that makes it seem like he was heading toward his room. Next to the body is the CD case. Next to the door to Feetio's bedroom is a bomb detonator and some pieces of model track.

You check Feetio's bedroom. You find a line of model train track leading from the hallway door toward the Poison Room door. There is a model train and a bar of soap laying on the floor.

bedroom > dankey > dunkey > CR > BD hear some loud NUTs > CR > laundry > kfc
lights to the kfc turn on as I enter, clerk looks spooked
I order some nuggies, feetio walks in from launfry, I share some nuggies so I don't die, ram ranch comes from bomb room then leaves south, kramer shows up and apparently argues with the clerk about there being chemicals in the chicken
feetio leaves south
I go laundfry to CR room and hear an explosion to the north while entering
fwd is here with his ass and he is putting his own ass in a chicken suit
I feel the ass then hear another explosion
pass through mgs3 > nut > dankey to my bedroom, hear a big ol NUT as I doze off

This post was last modified: Feb 1, 2021 at 9:22 AM by Fun With Despair.

So purely in terms of what we know now regarding the time of death, here are the facts:

-explosions happened while feetio was still alive according to Ram Ranch in discord
-twofinger witnessed me and my ass during explosions, i confirm he went to the ladder
-superchao witnessed me almost immediately after explosions and flexed his muscles
-someone was on the floor KO'd but I don't know who
-feetio might have died around this point?

So that leaves us with a few open windows right now:

1. twofinger did it by looping around to feetio's bedroom from the dankey stable, which he admits going to and simply omitted that from testimony
2. ram ranch did not find feetio's body and actually just pushed him it
3. hearts or kramer did it, no accounts yet so we dont know anything there. one of them is probably the KO'd KFC guy and therefore innocent
4. feetio simply walked into the poison room to suicide as he has no marks on him in any way and the doors don't appear to have been blocked.

if assumptions are right about feetio's death window, then it would have been near impossible for superchao or I to have done it if we both see each other in KFC. the person KO'd on the floor in KFC also almost definitely has to be innocent. that leaves Hearts, Kramer, Two Finger, Feetio or Ram Ranch as the potential killers, with either Hearts or Kramer being taken off the list depending on who was KO'd

This post was last modified: Feb 1, 2021 at 9:33 AM by Ram Ranch Redemption.

18 NAKED COWBOYS DETONATING BOMBS IN RANDOM RANCH
BIG HARD THROBBING DETONATOR BUTTONS WANTING TO BE PUSHED
18 NAKED COWBOYS SETTING OFF AN EXPLOSIVE AMBUSH
COWBOYS IN THE DAIRY FARM OF RANDOM RANCH
SEARCHING THROUGH HAY WANTING TO SUCK DETONATORS
KERBLAM RANCH REALLY ROCKS

- Waking up, a horny cowboy looks for a throbbing light switch to turn off
- Find one labelled "cock", suck it off until I hear the KFC lights shutting down
- Sexily beef the hot sprint I planned to do to the bomb room by tripping over cock, moan loudly
- Get up and continue to the Man Cave, no men, cow still present
- Grab the hottest looking bomb I can find, and its bottom the Detonator
- NUT
- NUT
- NUT
- Sadly I must wait to respond to the mating call of my beefy brethren and continue with my plans
- Return to KFC, hear Kramer arguing with the clerk about how he needs his hours or something
- I'll give you hours big boy
- Things are getting hot with the bomb so I decide to turn up the temperature a little more with the.... pizza oven.
- Leave the bomb in the oven, naked. Re-enter KFC and notice the lights are on.
- Two Finger and Feetio are eating some food. A hot cowboy like me doesn't have time to think about how a foot consumes chicken, so I return to the farm
- Begin searching for my other detonator from the previous night in the haystack. Fist the hay multiple times because its taking so... long
- Notice someone's been a little saucy with one of my cows.
- When I find that bad boy, slam the button with an orgasmic moan. Hear the donkey room explosion go off in the distance.
- pounded that ass so hard 💥
- Grab detonator, head out into the hall to dispose of it, double penetrating the building with explosives gave me a good shot at having someone die, I figured so I wanted to stay clean
- decide to frame the foot by throwing the detonator into the poison room at his door.
- Head to poison room, open door from the hallway
- THE FOOT IS DEAD
- i prefer abs though so i dont cry about it
- Foot's bedroom door is propped open, but I can't see whats holding it up
- Decide to throw the detonator in the room
- The almighty night action god misunderstands my wording for "toss the detonator at feetios and close the door" and I feel my body orgasming hard enough to rupture some brain cells and think that I must also close Feetio's door
- 💥 I hear an explosion, and then my body then moves itself through the train room, passing Superchao leaving and Hearts in the room itself
- Hearts, enraptured by my sexy cowboy body, follows me through Superchaos Room, but splits off at the hall when he sees the NUT button. understandable
- The NUT button calls for me as well, but instead, I enter feetio's room
- Notice train tracks are here already, and the door is propped open with them. I knock them into the poison room with my massive cock and close the door, my brain cells finally returning to me as I hear...
- NUT yet again
- Return to the dairy farm, begin milking the saucy cow and sing about cows.
- Kramer finally admits that beef is better than chicken and enters. The raw sexual energy of outdated sitcoms overpowers me and I pass out in ecstasy over the pile of hay
- I'm a good cowboy

18 NAKED COWBOYS EXAMINING THE HOOF PRINTS FOR TRACES OF SAUCE AND OR WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE

ARE THEY ASS PRINTS OR COW PRINTS

You check the Poison Room. Feetio's corpse is laying in the middle of the room. His body is orientated in a way that makes it seem like he was heading toward his room.

@Elyk
makes it seem like he was heading to his room? from which direction, from entering the poison room?

HOT BUFF COWBOYS INTERVIEWING THE KFC CLERK HIDING UNDER FEETIOS BED ABOUT ANYTHING HE MIGHT HAVE SEEN AND NOT BEEN PAID ENOUGH TO DO

I woke up and passed through fwd's room at the same time as Kramer. Fwd himself is still asleep at this time

I go MGS3 ladder --> chicken run --> hallway --> superchao's room. Superchao enters from Feetio's room and we both go to the train room. Superchao pretends to be a conductor while I haul tracks to feetio's room. I hear nutting over the intercom around this time

I make a few trips between feetio's room and the train room to move tracks. As I'm about to finish I hear an explosion. I hold my breath as I open the poison room door and place a final piece of track to prop it open, then flee. I didn't properly read the map descs and thought poison gas would fill feetio's room, and I was rushing too much to see inside the poison room as I did this

I return to the train room one last time for some reason and see superchao still here. He finally leaves south and I hear another explosion. Ram ranch enters soon after and we both go to superchao's room. He goes to feetio's room while I continue north to the nut button. I nut once before I go to bed.

18 NAKED COWBOYS EXAMINING THE HOOF PRINTS FOR TRACES OF SAUCE AND OR WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE

ARE THEY ASS PRINTS OR COW PRINTS

You bend down and give the hoof prints a taste. The best guess you have is watered down ketchup. You compare the prints to the donkey and the cows. Neither are a perfect match.

HOT BUFF COWBOYS INTERVIEWING THE KFC CLERK HIDING UNDER FEETIOS BED ABOUT ANYTHING HE MIGHT HAVE SEEN AND NOT BEEN PAID ENOUGH TO DO

You search under Feetio's bed but don't find the clerk there. Turns out he actually gets to go home after each night ends but lucky for you, I'm his boss so he has to answer my phone calls. I take out my cell phone and dial the clerk's number.
"Hello? Mr. Elyk?"
"Somebody has a question for you."
I toss the phone over to you and you ask about anything he might have seen and not been paid enough to do.
"Well, I got to work last night and opened up shop. Not long after that happened the lights suddenly went off! Somebody ran through the lobby not long after and I heard them slip and fall on the floor.

Later Kramer came in and demanded that I cook him some food. I tried to explain that company policy won't let us handle the fryers when the lights are out but he just didn't care! He climbed right over the counter and fixed something up for himself. He yelled at me the whole time he did it...

The next person I saw was Two_Finger. He walked in right as the lights turned back on and ordered some chicken nuggets. He told me he didn't have any money but offered me some weird drink. It was pretty good and I told him I would do anything to get some more. He also gave me some bombs. Feetio walks and then he and Two_Finger sit down at a table together eating the nuggets. It was kind of gross so I didn't watch. Ram Ranch passed through too.

Two_Finger and Feetio leave and Kramer comes back in. He's furious this time. I wish we had security to keep him out. He starts yelling at me about how the chicken contains chemicals or something like that? I don't even know what he took while he was behind the counter. The customer is never wrong so I just passively listen as best I can hoping it will all end soon. Kramer starts to leave and then the Pizza Oven explodes!! It knocks him right off his feet! I duck behind the counter praying that things won't get any worse tonight.

But things do get worse. Somebody wearing a Chicken Run outfit reaches over the counter and taps me on the shoulder. I look up and he's pointing a dildo at me. The man threatens to light the place up if I don't give in to his demands. "Sir... look around you it's already been lit up." He cocks the cock to show he means business. "Fine... Fine... What do you want?" Fun with Despair climbs out of the Chicken Run outfit. He makes me give him a knife, put the outfit on, and get on the donkey. He then passes me a blunt and tells me to start smoking. I take the blunt hoping it will make me fail my next drug test and get me fired from this cursed place. He tells me to ride to the Nut Button Room then to Feetio's bedroom and give him a scare.

I set out and decide that he won't notice if I don't go to the Nut Button Room. I make my way through the Chicken Run Room and get to Feetio's bedroom. When the donkey slips on something! We both slide across the room and crash into the Poison Room door. And that's all I remember. Can I go back to bed now?"

You thank him for his time and pass the phone back over to me. "This doesn't count as overtime." I say and hang up the phone.

So I start off in the despair nut's bedroom, right? He's still asleep, Hearts comes in and heads to that Em Gee Es Three ladder, all that jazz, while I go to the bathroom to prepare for something that, ah, didn't quite reach the mark. The KFC was dark as night when I came in, but did I need a light switch? HELL no, I'm a KFC connoisseur! I was easily able to make my way to the counter, but get this, though: I ask the clerk for some chicken....and he said he can't see anything for that! What minimum wage screwballs are they hiring these days, it's like he's never HEARD of a light switch!

So I figured a real man's gotta do it himself, so I vaulted over the counter and got my bucket just the way I like it: 10% chicken, 90% ketchup and seasoning. I, uh, also heard these loud NUTs over the intercom, which is what I guess passes for hip music these days, I dunno. Now, you won't believe this, George, but as I was strolling, eating my meat, BAM! I trip out of NOWHERE and spill all of it! You wouldn't believe how well condiments stick to cow fur, they're forces of NATURE!

The only thing that could have triggered this sudden stumble, since there wasn't anything lying on the ground, was that there had to be chemicals in the chicken that took my sense of balance aaaaall out of whack! So I went to complain to the cashier, but he's not even listening to me! He's just staring to space, wondering which goth chick he's going to bang under the bleachers while smoking weed after his shift! I don't care that the foot guy and the two fingered leper left because of me, they NEEDED to hear this! Anyway, I decided KFC needed my business no more and walked away so I could look for some hentai or something, when....

All of a sudden, this pizza oven explosion rocks me off my feet! Should have KNOWN it wasn't compatible with such a fly jacket as mine! I wake up a bit later and head to the Dairy Farm, where Ram Ranch was, and....ah, I don't have time to talk about my failed plan, if one of you guys wants to reach out to me about it then I'd be happy to explain. I stumble to the Train Room, where I hear this weird slam 'n crash, but no one there. I DO see someone passed out in a chicken suit in the Train Room, but at that time I just snoozed out.

makes it seem like he was heading to his room? from which direction, from entering the poison room?

Without a time machine or a recording there is no way to know which door he entered from. He is laying in the middle of the room and it appears that he is laying face down like he was heading toward his bedroom door.

18 NAKED COWBOYS OBSERVING FEETIOS BEDROOM, PARTICULARLY ANYTHING SLIPPERY

You find a bar of soap and a model train.

18 NAKED COWBOYS LOOKING AT FEET
EXAMINE FEETIO FOR ANY TRACES OF SOAP ON HIS BODY OR UH, FEET-FEET

ALSO CHECK BATHROOM FOR MISSING SOAP

18 NAKED COWBOYS LOOKING AT FEET
EXAMINE FEETIO FOR ANY TRACES OF SOAP ON HIS BODY OR UH, FEET-FEET

ALSO CHECK BATHROOM FOR MISSING SOAP

There is no soap on Feetio's body.

Some soap might be missing from the bathroom.

EXAMINE DAIRY FARM AND NEARBY HALLWAY, EXAMINE TRAIN ROOM