This post was last modified: Feb 17, 2021 at 9:30 AM by sealelement. Edit Reason: I CANT INTO USE CALENDAR

Today's Theme Music Selection:


Hello, Minus World! Do not be alarmed; that rustling and crashing sound you just heard outside was me emerging from your trash can with your discarded takeout food! I've emerged after my slumber to grade your submissions for the very first Dating World event for Dating World 2!

Before we get started, however, there were a few things I wanted to go over. I'm going to be giving everyone's answers a letter grade. The higher the grade, the higher their score. At the end of the garrison, I add up the scores, and the player with the highest score wins. Also note that scores are weighted; each day except for the very last one is about equal. The last day, of course, counts for more, since it's the final exam... of LOVE.

Additionally, I just want to reiterate the tardiness policy of love: you can submit answers late for up to two events (barring extenuating circumstances), but after that, you get DQ'd. One person didn't submit on time today, but they have the opportunity to still submit their answer late and be graded later. If you need more time for an answer, feel free to reach out by posting in the current submissions thread on Anon World or messaging Draku, who I have tasked with administrative assistance and putting people at the bottom of the fucking harbor for this Garrison (if necessary).

Lastly, and I know it wasn't exactly fucking rocket science to work out who was who, but please sign your posts with your psuedonym just to save us trouble down the line when it comes time to tally up the points. Thank you. Now, let's get to grading!


First off is Seaman from Maryland. I hope that's his profession.

1. Aye, a nice stroll down the beach to taste the salty sea air, the taste of seamen. Relaxed but still a bit intaemate.

This isn't a bad idea, Seaman! It's very relevant to your interests and lifestyle, it's scenic, and there's a lot to talk about. I'm a little concerned about getting the taste of Seamen in my mouth during a Pandemic, but I'm sure they're being socially distant. A-

2. Sailed the seven seas, but a toyoter? I barely know yer.

Sailing the Seven Seas sure is interesting, but it's a little cliche for a Seaman, and a little vague. Maybe next time, you can tell me stories of battling a Kraken or hunting a Shark? B-

3. A bit of the old spiderman web shooter, the lil one that be somewhat micro

That's a pretty solid meme. I like when Spider-Man asks how does he shot web, although an actual image of the meme would have been nice. However, while this isn't an English class, in this Garrison we respect the Hyphen, so I have to dock you points there, Seaman. B+

4. ah, no four i see

Next up is Sue Bazooms. I wonder what country that last name comes from?

1. I would take us trampolining, as I am frequently invited to do so and trampolines are safely socially distanced

Sue, when I was ten years old, I was jumping on a trampoline with my cousins when one of my younger cousins decided to chase me around for the entire duration of our visit and try to hit on me. She would constantly hug me and tell me she loved me, and it wasn't just joking around or playing a prank. It was the one of the more viscerally nauseating experiences of my life. I appreciate what you're trying to do here, and I can respect that you have amazing acrobatic skills, but I think you should have set up a backup plan in case you ran into a situation like this instead of going all-in. C+

2. We would likely talk at lengths about my giant breasts and the numerous awards they have won for their great heft and volume

Heft? AWARDS? Are you okay, Sue? Do you need back surgery? Do you know how to check yourself for breast cancer? Wait, never mind. You'd be way past dead if the tumors were that big. I have to say, though, while I appreciate what you're going for here, what was your game plan going to be if I was a leg girl? Because I'll admit that giant breasts will get you very far with a lot of people, but I'm a more discerning Dating Show Game Show Host for Minus World Garrison (not a show, a garrison). C

3. My favouite meme of course! It's the one about the cat, I'm sure you're aware of it.

I appreciate that you didn't post this meme so that I don't have to see that FUCKING CAT ONE MORE TIME. B


Next up is... uh... uhh... uhh... cheetos? idk. Unfortunately, it looks like he hasn't submitted yet. Please submit soon, uh... uhh... uhh... cheetos? idk!


Next up, we've got Kazuki Deitoshimu. No, I am not going to google that name to find out what manga it's from, and yes, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to call him Kazuki Yoshimitsu by accident at some point, too.

1.: I usually avoid places without too many witnesses anyway, but I think the manga store would be just the perfect place for this. Hopefully she would be okay with my slightly degenerate tastes, eheh!

I LOVE bookstores, Kazuki, and I think they make for great dates, but are they really open to the point where we can go on a date in one right now? I'm also not super sure about whatever you mean by "degenerate" there; I think most people don't want to move right into the hentai recommendations on the first date. This is still a solid choice though! A-

2. Uwa, this is a tough one...well, for one thing, you'd be surprised at how quiet my footsteps are! I wouldn't go so far as to say I can bench press, but don't let my nimble build fool you, because I have quite the firm chokehold! Oh, and I happen to be the best Guilty Gear player in my district, been that way for 4 years!

Again, Kazuki, I think you're moving too fast into some kind of unfortunate degeneracy here. But best Guilty Gear player for 4 years? That's pretty impressive! B+

3. Memes, huh...hopes she likes 2chan!

Not a bad choice, but you're being a little too vague here. There's lots of memes from 2chan, which one do you want to share? C+


And now we have The Big Man. I wonder if he's a college student?

1. I'd say the best place to stop would be a high-view place with access to what's outside. A cliff, for example, or perhaps a bridge walkway. The perfect place for romantic sunset views, long views of the horizon, and hurling unacceptable dates over the edge.

H-haha! Good joke there, buddy! I appreciate that this is socially distanced, but, let's uh... let's keep non-COVID safety in mind, though! I uh... I noticed you haven't really brought up what you do for a living. But I'm sure you're the kind of guy who finds fulfillment outside of work, r-right? Your date location is good, but please don't make jokes like that on an actual date. Please? B-

2. I'm incredibly strong, I've never been convicted or caught for any crime, I survived multiple death arenas, and I know just how to impress. Watch me flex!

Wow, nice muscles! Hey, when you say death arenas, you just mean like for sports or something, right? ...Right? B

3. For a meme, I bring... a knife covered in piss. We'll both laugh hard at the legendary Piss Knife.

Haha woah hey buddy! I love memes but hey just uh... how about keep that one in the piss sheath. I mean haha! Piss Knife! It's the legendary Piss Knife! Looks harmless to me! Just point it over in that other direction! B-


Next up is Grungo. Did you know Kurt Cobain's birthday is coming up?

Grungo not understand big words
Grungo hope answer correct

That's alright, Grungo. I can hire an interpreter if you need one.

Grungo take see big rock. Everyone like big rock

Big rock is very nice, but I would like to know more about why everyone likes big rock. B

Grungo proud of strength. Grungo lift many rock and fight dinosaur
Little brother anger mean dino. Grungo teach him lesson. Will do same for you

Holy shit! Grungo kicks ass, apparently! How chivalrous of you, too! A

Grungo confused. Grungo bring funny dino tools carving hope it make laugh

I don't quite understand your foreign sense of humor, Grungo, but I appreciate the attempt to include me on the joke nonetheless. B-


And now we have Fun With Dinos. Not to be confused with Fun With Despair or Fun With Dicks, I assume.

1. we go to the zoo to check out some modern dinos!

Now this is a fantastic idea! I love animals, and seeing some modern dinos would be excellent, AND you didn't make a veiled or implied threat on my life! (Not that anyone else here did, h-haha!) You're off to a great start here, FWDinos. A+

2. I go into detail about my favorie things and how my hobbies give me life and then say "HBU?" as my greatest enjoyment in life is listening to others

That's great, Fun With Dinos. While I would have appreciated a bit of detail on those things and hobbies that you enjoy in your answer (although I have a guess), I very much appreciate the mindset of establishing a back and forth that you've got here. A-

3. to match the occasion, I unleash one of my many feathered dino memes

I would have liked to see one of the feathered dino memes, but fair enough! A-

now you too are having fun with dinos

That is correct, I am indeed having Fun With Dinos!


Next up is Grizz. Sounds like a stage name for a rapper or a DJ!

1) I think a nature stroll would be a good start! I like hiking, but if that's a little intense we could just do a walk in the park. I know some nice trails that other people seem to avoid for some reason.

Wow, that's a really solid answer, too! You have a really strong suggestion, a solid backup plan, and you took my concerns for social distancing to heart! I do have to deduct a few points for making an accidental implication that you would murder me, though (not that anyone else did that on accident or on purpose, haha!). A-

2) If it's not obvious already, I'm a bit of an outdoorsman. I'm self-sufficient, I've got top notch survival skills, and I'm pretty strong too. I don't mean to brag, but I've wrestled bears. A lot.

Wow! That's a lot of skills, and you really tell me a lot about the kind of person that you are, too! And wrestling bears? THAT'S impressive! A

FINALLY, SOMEONE ACTUALLY SENDS A MEME, AND IT'S A GOOD ONE, TOO! Out of curiosity, did you get this from one of those bears you wrestled? A+


Next is BTGGF. I guess they like Back to the Future or something?

I'm probably getting this in late, but this thread sounds oddly specific.

No, it's okay! I don't close submissions until I post that they're over. I'm not sure what you mean by oddly speciifc, though? If something's confusing or you have a question, you can post in one of the threads in Anon World or message me by messaging Draku to maintain your anonymity.

1-Mall date. There's something there for everyone, so we can get a read on each other by what stores and food court places we choose from.

Not a bad idea! I like mall dates too for the reasons you listed. I do feel like you could go into detail on what you would do, though. A

2-I don't need to talk about myself. I already know I'm great and you should too just by being around me.

Confidence is a great thing to have, but you know what's even better? Answering the fucking question. F

3-https://youtu.be/0feeGz4T5z4

You immediately redeemed yourself with this high quality meme. Thank you. A+


Almost done! Next is Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin-Peters. What an interesting name! I think I've heard of someone with a similar name, but it's on the tip of my tongue... oh well, it's probably not important.

I would take date to Russian military parade. Now you might ask, why proud American taking date to Russian military parade? Well, knowing about overwhelming power of enemy Russian military is very important for culture, and date might be impressed by immense display of strength and public gulag convictions.

Wow, I have to admit, those are some... interesting reasons for this date! I appreciate some multiculturalism, but couldn't we just get some tacos instead? I'm also concerned about going to a Russian military parade during the pandemic, especially with public gulag executions; isn't there a concern about bodily fluids getting everywhere? C+

I am proud leader of nation, there is nothing needed to be bragging about, it speaks for itself. Which nation? Why AMERICA of course, as I am proud patriot who would never betray free capitalist country. I can also show you many AMERICAN tanks, which I am understanding that women love. Please ignore Russian writing on the sides, as it was meant to blend in with enemy, yes.

Wow, you're the leader of America, you say? And you have so many American tanks? That's so amazing, I have trouble believing it. However, unlike the other answers for this question, I can immediately verify if you're lying or not. Please direct Dr. Anthony Fauci to balance a spoon on his nose for the duration of his next public appearance or public Zoom call. If he does it, you get an A+. However, if he does not, you get an F.

Meme? Is simple! In Soviet Russia, you take ME on date! Then we laugh and organize second date with location and activities planned by you. Is very clever, yes.

I appreciate the simplicity of this one, Mr. Peters! It's an old classic, and you've managed to spin it to keep things going for next time. Although we don't seem to be in Soviet Russia right now? Still! B


Now, finally, last up is Goku. I don't seem to remember him signing up? Maybe he was too busy being dead.

hi its me goku

SHUT THE FUCK UP GOKU F


Alright! So there is one final event of the grading process... the ROSE CEREMONY! Although this isn't really like the Bachelor or Bachelorette's Rose Ceremonies at all, I just liked the name. Instead, the Rose is just a little bonus reward for the player who I felt had the strongest overall answers on a given night, even if they don't have the highest grades necessarily! And tonight, although it was close, I have to give the first Rose to Fun With Dinos for managing to not make a veiled or implied threat on my life!


Here you go buddy you deserve it!!! Enjoy!!!


So now that we've got the first night all graded and ready, I'm going to be putting up the next thread for submissions later tonight/this morning. I'm going to keep this next one open until around 6 PST on Friday, February 19th, but honestly, like this first night, I'm fine with extending the submission period slightly if people need it. I also know that Killing Game is starting soon, and that can eat up a lot of time, so I'm fine with extending submission periods overall. Please get in touch with me via messaging Draku or posting in any of the Anon World threads if you need more time, if you have any questions, or anything else! And uh... uhh... uhh... chetos? idk, please submit!

why are you Ross friends...