GREETINGS MORTALS! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MERASMOKUMA IS HERE WITH TERRIBLE, AWFUL NEWS!


The terrible news being that NONE OF YOU WILL RECEIVE ANY BONUS DUCKS! Oh, and I suppose there's also a body.

@Bear (Real) was found dead under a pile of ashen books in the library. They were the REGULAR BEAR.

Spoiler: Show

Regular Bear: Unlike everyone else who is an Ultimate, you are just a regular bear. Because of this you are very scary. Players attempting to kill you will have an extremely difficult time of it. You, on the other hand, are a natural born killer. You kill to live. If you attempt, you have a very high likelihood of success. However, you are also a bear. You cannot use tools or share accounts effectively, and your planning abilities are somewhat limited. And no, just because I am also a bear doesn’t win you any favors. If you DO kill someone, you’ll be just as likely to investigation as any other player.

Forbidden Action: Eating vegetables. What kind of bear likes broccoli?

Details:
-Some of the books are still smoldering, but the blaze has completely died down.
-the body is covered in some kind of thick fabric, and is wearing a cute little hat.
-Two oil lamps are missing from the library.

Assorted map details:
-The church's front door has been broken down.
-The lawn and haunt are covered in tire tracks, clown detritus, and nails.
-there is a pile of NERF darts just outside of Point Two.
-The TV in the parlor has been removed.

KACH-OW!

Beep boop. What is that fabric on the bear like?

Beep boop. What is that fabric on the bear like?

the fabric is the type used to cover furniture to protect it from mold/bugs. It's thick and didn't burn up, but definitely didn't do the bear any favors.

The bear's body is horribly burned, but it's difficult to tell if the fire or smoke caused the victim to perish. Between the sheet and the pile of material burnt to a crisp on top of the body, it is equally likely the victim suffocated or burnt to death.

spot bear grabbing a sheet in the library, robot is here getting educated, I grab lantern
lightning mcqueen doing donuts on the lawn
pea robot and hamilton enter the shed
a lot of time passes in the cuck shed, at some point I hear more donuts and some clown homking?? sounds like a party
on the way to bed I spot the clown in question, mizzlebip, going to bed
also mcqueen almost runs me over entering the shed

This post was last modified: Oct 4, 2021 at 4:48 AM by Pea.

I HAVE LEFT MY SPAWN WHILE MY FELLOW COMPATRIOTS OF RED (ALL OF THEM) WERE STRIKING A FUN CONVERSATION THAT I DIDN'T CARE FOR

WENT TO THE TOOL SHED AND SAW THE MOST UNSEXY HAMILTON BITING HIS LIP AGAIN. HE HAD A SHOVEL WITH HIM.

I SPOTTED A SNIPER'S RIFLE BUT I THINK ITS BROKEN CAUSE IT KEPT YELLING THAT I WAS LOOKING AT GAY PORNO EVERY TIME I SHOT THE GUN

I STILL SHOT IT AT PEOPLE WHILE I WAS IN POINT TWO. FIRST IT WAS TOM JONES, THEN IT WAS THE ROBOT, WHO BOTH WENT FROM THE HAUNT TO THE MANOR. THEN BEE MAN CAME FROM THE MANOR TO GO TO THE HAUNT, AS WELL AS HAMILTON AND MIZZLEBIP

that's it, that was my day. i never saw 2f or the bear at any point.

The library does smell like oil.

I am a robot. I am here to post my robot account.

Twofinger and The Bear are in the Library. I enter. These books are boring to my superior robot intellect. Beep boop.
The twofingers enter the Tool Shed. I enter and acquire a useful tool for my robot duties. A shovel.
Pea and Hamilton enters the Tool Shed. I head for the second control point in order to steal that american Soldier's job.
The point is not captured. A crate attacks me. I leave as fast as my robot legs will take me and enter the Church. My robot sensors failed to inform me of what was actually in there.
I retreat back to my robot spawn room. After taking important robot technology from the parlor.

Beep boop son, beep boop.

WHAT HE SAID

🔴🔴🔴🤡➕👨‍⚕️🐝➕🧔🔴🔴🔴

‼🐝🐝🐝💥🤡💥🐝🐝🐝‼

🤡➡🔴🔴🔴🛏 👿🔴🔴🔴



🤡➡🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

🤡💥🔫



🤡🔪🚗➕2️⃣👆

❌



🤡➕2️⃣👆➡🔴🔴🔴🛏 💤🔴🔴🔴

i cna't read this hsit

Dr. MILES MANNERS was just an ordinary surgeon surgeon, a practitioner that performed exclusively on fellow surgeons, before he foolishly bit into a RADIOACTIVE BEE. As penance for his crimes, he was sentenced to a lifetime of civil service as an ambassador to bee goodwill worldwide. COURAGEOUS, CUNNING, and ENTIRELY CELIBATE, he is, was, and always will be until rival movie studios take his rights away...!

One could innocuously assume that Dr. Bees stopped by MANN MANOR to engage in mindless violence, just like any other visitor. However, the black and yellow hero had other plans in mind....

DR. BEES: (I can only hope that my belligerent sexual tension-filled sidekick, BEE BOY, is putting me on the right track with the tip he gave me....if his intuition is correct, the illusive PROFESSOR HORNET is hiding somewhere in this very mansion! I'm willing to forgive his regular kitten lobotomies and communism promoting, but when he does it all without carrying a REAL MEDICAL LICENSE, that's when things get PERSONAL! He gives a bad name to therapeutic insect-themed vigilantes of all breed, and refuse to let it stand!)

But despite his noble goals, Dr. Bees was at a loss at where to start!

DR BEES: (As 80% of my surgeon revenue goes toward paying off LAWSUITS, I can't afford a hi-tech mansion of my own, and thus, I'm unfamiliar with my surroundings....Surely, my fellow players have something to say!)

IN THE PLAYERS' QUARTERS...

Dr. Bees: "MIZZLEBIP, champion of CLOWNING AROUND! Do you have any clues as to the location of the fraud Professor Hornet?"

Mizzlebip: "😴💤🛏️"

Dr. Bees: (EGADS! Professor Hornet's signature sleeping pills with real, live hornets inside! He's already struck! I must press further before he causes more mildly annoying inconveniences...)

Dr. Bees: "TOM JONES! As a one-hit wonder, you have more insight into the matters of extremely obscure people than anyone else! Have you seen....[holds up a Polaroid of a smartphone with a picture of a honey=stained Polariod on it showing the face of Professor Hornet] THIS MAN?!"

Tom Jones: "What's up, pussycat? It's not unusual, but I have no clue who you're talking about, man!"

Dr. Bees: (These are all completely reasonable answers I would expect from these people. However, I'm still being deceived! If interrogation won't work, I'll have no choice but to stain my hands in blood......blood honey.....)

MEANWHILE, IN THE FOYER.....

Dr. Bees: "Hwat's THIS? A real and ordinary bear who's a threat to my bees' livelihood and looks like is hiding something? Perhaps my BEES ought to make him cough it up!"

Opening the hatch on his groin-area bee holder, Dr. Bees summons his TRUTH BEES at the bear, an endangered species whose venom sends the part of the brain that compels someone to be honest into overdrive!

But somehow, the bear was immune to it! Terrified and swatting away with his giant bear paws, he retreats back into the Spawn area to hibernate! Stumped for a few minutes, Dr. Bees then sees a familiar face....

Dr. Bees: "SEXY ALEXANDER HAMILTON! It is objective fact that politicians can be trusted at all times, even moreso when they look decently fuckable! Will you aid me on me on my quest to bring PROFESSOR HORNET to justice?!"

Sexy Alexander Hamilton:
"Hey, yo, Doctor Bees, you're a man of great clout
From a hero to another? Sure, I think I'll help you out
I've seen all your bee-throwin', you're looking out of luck, and besides
I need my wife to think that I'm no longer a cuck"

Dr. Bees: "EXCELLENT, rapping 18th century man! You will meet me by the church in no later than 5 minutes! Any building that's locked is bound to have clues in it!"

With a new ally at his disposal, Dr. Bees proudly struts to the Church, until, near Point Two....

*WHOOSH*

Dr. Bees: "CHEERING CHEERIOS! Someone tried to assassinate me with that FOAM DART! Just like what happened to that poor president*! Who could be RESPONSIBLE for this?!"

[*: All the way back in 1963 volume 11 issue 22, true believers! -- J.D.]

Looking in that general direction...

Faceless assassin: "HEY EVERBODY, I’M WATCHING GAY PORNO"

Dr. Bees: "Oh well, he's clearly too preoccupied to be attacked right now! I'll just be going back on my way, now!"

MEANWHILE, AT THE BEE CAVE....

Dr. Bees isn't here at the moment. There is nothing of note.

AT THE HOLY SANCTUARY....

Dr. Bees: "So, a church.....You know, one just like this is where I watched my parents die, Sexy Alexander Hamilton...."

Sexy Alexander Hamilton:
"You're an orphan. Of course! I'm an orphan
God, I wish there was a w-"

Dr. Bees: "Enough song recitations! It is time we blow the case open on the dastardly Professor Hornet!"

Sending out his BEES, Dr. Bees commands them to pick up Alexander Hamilton, and then...

*SEXY BLAM*

Dr. Bees: "Of course, my patented Beettering Ram technique! This time, with a helmet made of bees around the person's head to make concussions 40% less likely!"

After a few more swings, the Church door finally swings open! But once inside....

Dr. Bees: "DAMN! No secret passageways, no notebooks, nothing that gives us his location! I did find this MANN CO CRATE, but I can't open it until tomorrow!"

Sexy Alexander Hamilton:
"I may be biased with the church, since I'm an atheist,
But Bees, this whole thing was nothing but a swing and a miss"

Dr. Bees: "You may leave now, Hamilton! You have my gratitude for all your musical help!"

The good bee doctor steps out onto the front steps, pondering his next move and witnessing sights such as TWOFINGER making shadow puppets with an oil lamp in the tool shed, TOM JONES getting drunk on communion wine, and SEXY ALEXANDER HAMILTON being retconned into an actual believer of God and praying....

Dr. Bees: (Did this day yield any results? No! Is there any proof that Professor Hornet is in this old mansion? Absolutely not! But nevertheless, I will not rest until this imposter of a medical practitioner is behind bars....)

Suddenly, Dr. Bees felt tired, and while escaping an accidental death at the wheels of LIGHTNING MCQUEEN, he goes to bed.

WILL DR. BEES COME ANY CLOSER TO JUSTICE? WILL HE FALL AT THE HANDS OF A FELLOW PLAYER BEFORE HE CAN GET THE CHANCE? WHY AM I ASKING YOU ALL THESE QUESTIONS? FIND OUT, IN NEXT MONTH'S EXCITING TALE: "FOR WHOM THE BEE TOLLS!"

There are some cans of oil in the tool shed, as well as Lightning's personal reserve in the garage.

this post

i smell a meme lynch