This post was last modified: Jul 19, 2025 at 1:35 AM by Phone Booth.

"Well done everyone! To tell you the truth, I was a bit worried about this group. You're just a group of randoms that replied to a mass email but not one of you seems to have gotten cold feet about this whole killing game thing. My staff is all unharmed as well."



"Anyways, enough about that. Let's talk about who died."

"@Space Dandy's corpse has been found in the Thalassic Seal room. At their time of death, they were the...

Ultimate Defiant Focus [Average]
Abilities
+ When a theme song from a TV show, movie, anime, commercial, etc plays, you briefly (and within reason) gain the powers or abilities associated with that character- but no equipment, and only once per whatever media property
- Begin the game on a leash. You cannot go more than three rooms from your starting location unless you sever the leash.
- You explode in a sea of piss when you die

"⌇⏃⎅ ⏁⍜ ⌇⟒⟒ ⌇⎍☊⊑ ⏃ ⎅⏃⋏⎅⊬ ⎎⟒⌰⌰⍜⍙ ☌⍜."



"You know what to do next, right? You have to figure out who killed him. Feel free to ask any of us about our nights if you think it will help. Erica, that includes you get out here."



"F-Fine. I'm not happy about it but I'll talk if you need me to."

"Oh, but don't bother asking Neighvenile. I've made sure he won't have anything useful to say."

---

CASE FILE
- Space Dandy was found dead in the Thalassic Seal.
- The Thalassic Seal is full of piss and it's even leaking into Draku's room. He is not happy about it.
- The glass tube in the Thalassic Seal has been shattered.
- Both the Thalassic and Stellaric Seals have been activated.
- There is a stage set up in the Garden.
- The AA EE OO Room is badly burned and no longer functional.
- The V-Card, Magic Scrabble Bag, and Role Module have all been purchased from the item shop.
- No items are left in the Cow Grotto.

MAP

Room Descriptions: Show

BLUE WING
Blue Dorms: A set of dormitories with a blue theme.
Crystal Mine: A cavern filled with ginormous glowing crystals forming sharp, jagged structures on the walls and floor. There's some mining equipment here.
Piano Room: The Mad Piano room from Super Mario 64
Breakroom: A comfortable room to relax in. Has several couches and tables, a coffee machine, and a fridge.
Garden: The floor is covered with grass. There are patches of flowers and some bushes.
Train Room: This room is utterly filled to the brim with model trains on model tracks, to the point where it's difficult to walk through the room without tripping over a power cable or train track
Uretic Seal Room: Contains a glass tank filled with yellow fluid and a control panel. By interacting with the control panel you may sync with the seal and gain the ability to piss infinitely.
AA EE OO Room: A room that plays a map-wide audio clip of Jerma yelling "AA EE OO" or "AudioJungle" to all living players and NPCs every time someone enters. https://youtu.be/DrYRpPxBEaU
Pirate Ship: An old pirate shipped docked in a deep pool of shark infested ocean water. Below the ship's deck you can find various objects used in seafaring.
Cow Grotto: An underground cave with a cow that dispenses milk if you play the flute for it. Also filled with several patches of grass that may contain random items.
Stellaric Seal Room: Contains a glass tank filled with purple fluid and a control panel. By interacting with the control panel you may sync with the seal and gain the ability to block an attempt on your life once.
Exit Room: Room where you can exit the game. Can only be used once before the door is sealed shut.

ORANGE WING
Chinese Buffet: Four chicken wings with shrimp fried rice, thats good, that's good (the kitchen for the chinese buffet is also attached in the corner)
Movie Archive: Contains shelves stacked with every DVD or Blu-Ray you could possibly think of, and two small DVD/Blu Ray player and TV setups for testing movies
Twister Mat: Wall to wall is a mat for the game Twister
Arboretum : A large greenhouse, the interior wrapped in thorny vines. Housing a variety of plant-based experiments, low-risk anomalies, and regular plants, you can find most known botanical life here, though maybe it's possible to find some窶ｦ unique specimens as well?
Storage Room: Storage for various items
Rock Climbing Room: Walls contain some rocks suitable for climbing. There is some gear laying around too.
Lab Zero: A room filled with surgical tables and strange equipment, as well as a variety of masks. A strange creature lurks within, chanting religiously.
Display Bathroom: Looks just like a fully furnished, normal bathroom except none of the plumbing is installed. If you try to piss in here it will only leak out onto the floor.

RED WING
Convenience Store: A 24/7 convenience store filled with overpriced junk food, cigarettes, condoms, and a slurpee machine.
Hair Salon: One of the walls has mirrors and there are some chairs in front of it. Scissors, hair dye, hair dryers, and other related tools can be found here.
Streaming Room: A small room with a gaming PC, gaming chair, internet access, and a webcam. The only software the computer can run is whatever game is at #1 on Twitch at the time of submissions, and capture software to stream with.
Cold Storage: A deep-frozen room with plenty of preserved food and preserved chemicals.
KFC: Small lobby from a KFC restaurant. Has a clerk at the cashier who you can order food from.
Fountain : A fountain just outside the back of the building. Water is currently flowing, though the fountain appears pretty old.
Draku's Real Life Bedroom: It's literally Draku's bedroom from real life. You feel as if you took a piss on the furniture, you would grow stronger
Dark Room: Tiny room for developing photographs. Contains the equipment required to do so as well as some cameras and film.
Decontamination : A room that releases a gas that instantly cleans your body and equipment. It logs its usage for the night however, to prevent any shenanigans.
Thalassic Seal Room: Contains a glass tank filled with blue fluid and a control panel. By interacting with the control panel you may sync with the seal and gain the ability to crush an object with high water pressure once per night.
Beehive: It's full of bees. The walls are oozing honeycomb and the floor is sticky with honey. A single beekeeper outfit hangs on the wall by one of the doors.

GREEN WING
Printing Press: Various materials to print a newspaper including paper, ink, printers, and rubber bands
Green Dorms: A set of dormitories with a green theme.
Christmas Tree: In the middle of the room stands a tall christmas tree, fully decorated. Under it are 6 presents each containing a random item from this game's item list.
Vending Machine Hall: Hallway lined with vending machines. There are standard vending machines for drinks, candy, and other foods. There is also a very sturdy vending machine that dispenses magic items.
Chem Lab: A laboratory stocked with various chemicals and instruments.
Giant Hamster Cage: This room is modeled to look like a hamster cage, except built to human scale. It contains a running wheel, multiple colorful tunnels, woodchip bedding, and a big bowl of pellets.
Botany Lab : A laboratory dedicated to the study and breeding of plant life. Contains a variety of equipment, soil, fertilizers, and gardening tools. Maybe you can grow your own plants?
Graveyard: Lynched bodies are moved here and buried. Once per night a player can push a deceased player's tombstone to free their ghost for the next phase. The same player cannot be revived twice.
Clear Pipe: A clear pipe from Super Mario 3D World. You can ride down through the pipe both ways. While inside the pipe you are invulnerable.
Stomach: The interior digestive tract of a large unidentified being. Must be swallowed whole to enter. Must be shit out to exit.

Weather Effect
Mirage: Each player will have a random false encounter inserted into their account.

Living Participants

• Blue Dorms
  
• @Villager
  
• @Sunday
  
• @Carsick Elf
  
• @Momoyo Himemushi
  
• @top gear
  
• @Clayface
  
• @Agnes Tachyon
  
  Green Dorms
  
• @Manhattan Cafe
  
• @Marvelous Sunday
  
• @Mr. Tenna
  
• @Spamton A. Spamton
  
• @Jinx
  
• @Space Ghost
  
• @Ben Mendelsohn
  

Voting will end on Sunday, at 9:00 PM EDT.

Oh, fine, since no one else is doing it, I'll be the one to make the sacrifice for science.

Investigate the sea of piss to see if my former guinea pig's body is there

Oh, fine, since no one else is doing it, I'll be the one to make the sacrifice for science.

Investigate the sea of piss to see if my former guinea pig's body is there

Yes, Space Dandy's body is still there. He's inside the smashed glass tube. His torso has burst open in the front.

Gonna inspect his body for signs of what might have killed him

The villager regards the tense atmosphere in the building with mild confusion. It was only one death, and they only needed 50 food to construct their fallen friend anew. He rummages through his pockets for last night's haul: nachos, takis, freshly picked berries, and a red slurpee.

On second thought, constructing a person from these might be difficult. And they taste too good.


Inspect Draku's room, as well as the adjacent Darkroom. Can Draku give testimony? Did he finish his dailies?

The villager regards the tense atmosphere in the building with mild confusion. It was only one death, and they only needed 50 food to construct their fallen friend anew. He rummages through his pockets for last night's haul: nachos, takis, freshly picked berries, and a red slurpee.

On second thought, constructing a person from these might be difficult. And they taste too good.


Inspect Draku's room, as well as the adjacent Darkroom. Can Draku give testimony? Did he finish his dailies?

You inspect Draku's room and find that his gamer chair is missing. Half of the floor is covered with piss. He is sitting on his bed which is missing a pillowcase. He cannot give testimony and has finished all of his dailies within 15min of the reset.

You also check out the Darkroom and find that a couple of cameras and film rolls are missing.

Thank you all for coming to the NATIONAL SPAMTON. The WILD PRIZES have already been distributed, check your mattress.

Mr. Anthony Tenna accompanied me for most of the night, helpfully waking me up with a convenient mic test directly to the face. We headed towards the festive spruce, where he picked up his own WILD PRIZE.

From there, Spamton A. Spamton, that's me, went into the convenience store, to acquire some WILD PRIZES. Call now. To donate. I am in debt.

I proceeded to the garden, waiting to support Mr. Anthony Tenna's comeback special. While waiting, I saw WEEKEND and VILLAGER exit the seal room, and split up. I remained waiting for the TV man, however he did not show, and I had something very



important to do.

Finally, I made it. To. the NATIONALSPAM

TON.

Unfortunately, it seemed only two people wished to receive WILD PRIZES today; Mr. Anthony Tenna, and Mr. Manhattan Café. For some reason, the TV man disliked



Mr. Café, and started to beat him up and of course, Spamton A. Spamton.

I woke up alone in the breakroom. Alone. But there was still NATIONALSPAMTON to do, so I returned to the NATIONALSPAMTON.

...It was burnt. I returned to bed.

Gonna inspect his body for signs of what might have killed him

You wade through the piss and inspect Space Dandy's body for wounds. Aside from the gaping hole in his abdomen, you find that he has a bruise on the back of his head, a deep cut across his throat, and several smaller cuts on his clothes.

Hey, check the decontamination logs

Hey, check the decontamination logs

No usages.

I sniff. For piss.

I sniff. For piss.

You enter the Thalassic Seal and take a deep breath. Yep, it smells like piss.

I sniff. For piss.

You enter the Thalassic Seal and take a deep breath. Yep, it smells like piss.

You feel intense rage at Space Dandy. You walk up to his corpse and punch him in the face.

Check the fountain, does the water look bloody or pissy?

Check the fountain, does the water look bloody or pissy?

The fountain water looks clean.

This post was last modified: Jul 19, 2025 at 3:56 AM by Villager.

The villager begins to pantomime various actions to convey last night's happenings. He does not speak modern English.

His task for the first night was to gather 500 food to advance to the feudal age. He began his night by exiting his dorm to the Garden alongside Wendy Oldbag. Agnes Tachyon entered from the Stellaric Seal, and Sunday from the Crystal Mines. Both he and Sunday raced to the seal, the latter threatening the humble villager with a sharp crystal, but the seal's power had already been claimed. They leave to find Spamton in the Garden, and Sunday returns to the mines while the villager goes to the Cow Grotto. Sunday must be a dedicated miner.

He sees Agnes Tachyon again, foraging through the grass. He joins her, and they each score a find. They move to the Hair Salon together, but Tachyon goes to the Convenience Store while the villager continues south. He passes through the domain of the lord Draku, who occupies himself with games. Entering the Thalassic Seal, the villager finds it has also been claimed, and the likely culprit stands beside it with eyes glowing blue: Gold Ship. This 'gold ship' is not nearly as exciting as it sounds, and their witchcraft scares him, so he flees. A voice from the heavens bellows "AA" as he does, then "EE" as he passes back through the Hair Salon to the store.

He enters in time to see Jinx flip out of the room into the Printing Press. He browses the store's wares, intrigued by what passes for 'food' in the modern age, and takes his pick from it. He takes a bite of a 'taki', as well as a sip from a red 'slurpee', and-

Holy shit.

Tachyon emerges once again from the Pirate Ship, moving to Cold Storage as the heavens bellow "OO". The villager attempts to procure a magic scrabble bag, but is informed by the strange horse-headed man tending the store that they are sold out. He sorely wishes to find a normal horse here; he knows not what ungodly acts resulted in these hybrids.

As he begins to leave, the heavens roar once more: "AUDIOJUNGLE AA EE OO", an unceasing cacophany. The villager is beginning to question their wisdom as Ben Mendelsohn enters from the Hair Salon and goes to the Pirate Ship.

The villager returns to the Garden to forage for more food, picking berries from the bushes as Manhattan Cafe leaves the Stellaric Seal. A woman with a firearm is hiding in the bushes and motions for him to stay silent, and he has no reason to disobey. The heavens too are silenced for a time, before resuming once more, but their voice grows hoarse. The mysterious lady of the leaves ventures to the mine. Some commotion is occuring in the Garden behind him, but he pays it no mind. He is only here to pick berries.

Eventually, the voice from the heavens ceases entirely. Instead, he hears Mr. Tenna's voice ring out, "TV TIME!". The villager resumes foraging, but is approached by Mr. Tenna who awards him second place in some sort of talent competition. The villager is confused but accepts. Mr. Tenna is strange, but he rewards honest work. He is a good lord.

As the villager finishes picking, he finally takes note of the other people in the room: the bush woman, an elf with a lynx, Agnes Tachyon, and Marvelous Sunday. The lynx suddenly attacks Tachyon without warning, as Mr. Tenna and Marvelous Sunday leave to the Cow Grotto. The villager returns to his dorm to rest after a night of labor.

What is a TV?

Good morning! It is unfortunate that we have lost one but you get used to such things while delving ruins in the pursuit of knowledge. When you're as long lived as I am you gt numb to the myriad setbacks caused by such things as greed blinding your fellows and turning them on each other, or rogue elements catching you unawares from the shadows. Ah well.

Onto my outings. Curious about the technology at play I thought it wise to inspect the so called Decontamination unit to learn from it. All I learned was that it logs it's usage and that it had not been active before my visit. During my inspection a Mr. Mendlsohn and one Gold Ship pass through, the latter also interested in the logs.

Another room of note to me was the "Christmas Tree" as it seems to hold a significant place in this world unfamiliar culture. As I enter a curious OO sound emanates but I pay it no heed, instead greeting the little gray man presiding over gifts here.

Our dearly departed Mr. Dandy leaves his dorm and heads through to the vending machines so I noted all passerbys around there, such as Clayface and Marvelous sunday.

Mr Tenna's show sounded like a fun activity so I figured I could lend my assistance in setting it up and so I waited for him and his cart of goodies in the garden. It is a rousing success, a good time had by all. Aside from that cat attacking that poor equine lady. That's not my problem, somebody should do something about that.

This post was last modified: Yesterday at 4:36 AM by Manhattan Cafe.

Cafe silently looks the body over a couple times, seemingly in her own world, before finally speaking.

...Wow, this looks like a real dead body. Movie effects are getting very good these days... Though we could do without the smell.

...

Oh, this is the part where I tell you what my friend and I did last night, right?

I woke up and left my dorm room where I saw Dandy going from the Graveyard to the Hamster wheel. I decide to go to the Giant Christmas Tree, and Jinx accompanies me while doing flips and other tricks. She's very agile, it was fun to watch. When we got there we found Gray sitting on some kind of red chair with a Santa costume on the floor next to him. I think Gray was probably meant to be Santa for this but apparently didn't want to wear the costume. I wouldn't either... Uh, Space Ghost and Clayface were there opening presents, and... Gold Ship?? I didn't know you were here, it's usually very easy to tell when you're around with how loud and wild you are. And you should probably stop eating the pine needles on the tree...

I left there and went through the Vending Machine hall when my friend suggested we go visit the Crystal Mine since it sounds nice, so that's where I went. Along the way I passed through the Rock Climbing room and saw Mr. Tenna pushing around some stage equipment while I entered the Display Bathroom. I found Space Ghost again while passing through, he was talking to the mirror. I wonder if he also has a friend like I do? As I went past him I heard an announcer say some strange words over the speakers. I... don't think they would be a good announcer for our races. I kept going toward the Arboretum where I saw Sunday going into the Buffet as I entered the aeyeeoh?- Ah-ee-oh...?

...

Letter room. Spamton was there, gave me a salute that I kind of ignored because my friend was talking to me, and I kept going until I finally arrived at the Crystal Mine. The announcer on the loudspeaker came back on saying something about an "Audio jungle" and those letters over and over again. Annoying. I took a look around, admiring the scenery, and spotted a burlap sack that may be useful later on for storing things we're given here, so I took it.

I feel like I've been talking a lot now and I've got things to do with my friend so I'm going to fast forward some of this, but feel free to ask me to elaborate if needed I guess. I left the mine and went to try to use the Stellaric seal but it had already been used, so I leave and see Villager in the garden as I go. The awful looping on the speakers stopped around then, too, but I was feeling restless and annoyed after hearing it for so long that I started jogging laps around the room to try to clear my head. Carsick Elf showed up from the Cow Grotto room to also check the Stellaric Seal, with much of the same results. Then... that awful looping started again... but it sounded like it was messed up somehow. Then Mr. Tenna showed up with his cart, so Carsick Elf and I helped set up the stage when Marvelous Sunday appeared. Finally a familiar face, we waved at each other, but her waving is always much more excited than mine. The looping sound finally died down once we finished setting up and Mr. Tenna began his event. I noticed Momoyo going into the blue dorms at this point.

Carsick Elf did nothing, and I was next, so I drew some pictures in the condensation on the walls. Some cats, coffee cups, nice things. Marvelous Sunday did some trivia which was very impressive. Villager was picking berries. Then...

Cafe lets out a very long, annoyed sigh

Agnes, this time was a lapse in judgement from me but... I refuse to be your test subject ever again.

Her talent show part was to create some kind of concoction, and while she was doing this some lady with a rifle came in and introduced herself as Erica. She showed off her marksman skills by throwing apples into the air and shooting them. Finally Agnes finished her... mess... and told me to drink it. I refused but I'm not sure if it was from the running or the trek I had made leading up to this point but she somehow convinced me to drink it by saying it tasted like coffee... It very clearly would not... Whatever this was made me want to run around like crazy, so I ran out of the room, into the Cow Grotto where I noticed Top Gear, then through to the hair salon. I grabbed a hair brush since I was sure I'd look like a mess after all of this, then sprinted through the darkroom, beehive, KFC, the Fountain, then I made it to the Giant Hamster Cage. Perfect. I got on and just ran until I couldn't run anymore.

I was exhausted, but I wanted to see one last thing before going to bed. I went to the stomach room just to see what was going on here. Yep, it's a stomach. I decided that was enough and went back to my room to sleep.

This post was last modified: Jul 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM by Mr. Tenna.

H-huh? What do you MEAN someone died? We're supposed to be keeping this PG, we can't have that happen! Is it too late to sub in a robot or something? I'm telling you, that's what they did in that samurai cartoon to get past the censors, and it worked like a charm! I can't risk cancellation over this, I've got a LONG and fulfilling career ahead of m-





...What's that? It happened in the Red sector? Nowhere near the show? I never even saw the guy?

...





NEVER MIND!

Disregard the above, folks! Nothing to see here, no sir! All we've got is clean, wholesome entertainment - just like the good old days! Healthy competition! Slapstick violence! Mysterious laboratory plots! HORSES!

All this and more! Grab your popcorn! Grab a drink! Grab the whole family! Because...

music: Show

When we premiered tonight's episode, I had to make sure our audio was synced up right. I'm sure YOU'VE seen a show with audio issues before - how embarrassing, am I right? Well, I've got some good news! That PIECE OF WORK Spamton was just lying around in the dorm, not like I expected anything else outta him - talk about a bum!

He was the perfect target, test subject, or whatever else you wanna call it, for a good old fashioned MIC TEST!



Well, I'll tell you - that sure got him up quick! Sad to say, he decided to tag along after what while I went to the Printing Press. Believe me folks, believe ME. Marketing is more important than you give it credit for! I had to make a couple of posters for my prime-time debut, without an audience, who's gonna supply the laugh track when someone crashes and burns?

Not me, no way! Poor etiquette!




Well, everything was taking its sweet time printing - another reason good ol' commercials are more efficient than these computer things - so I thought I'd join The Stig peruse the nearby catalogue at the Convenience Store! Don't tell the producer, keep this just between the two of us - but this role? It SUCKS, I'll tell you! Just my luck too, the store was completely outta stock...

Go figure, shoulda' stuck to the shopping channel.





That was a disappointment - am I right? Well, that's network television, nothing we can do! I went out to go pick up and disperse my advertisements, when I ran into Space Ghost! Now there's a man who loves TV! Even asked me if I wanted to work together on a show with him! Well, I'm not one to decline. No, I am NOT! But my schedule's booked solid, so I gave the man a poster and went on my way.

I needed some equipment, see. We can't be slacking on the production value here, I'm not about to get thrown into syndication - not like this! My quest for entertainment domination took me to the Movie Archive, where I spied with my technicolor eyes... a HORSE watching film reels! Just when I thought I'd seen it all! Another HORSE by the climbing wall outside too! What's this studio coming to?

Anyway, before we could get started with





FACILITY'S GOT TALENT!





I had to take care of something first! That guy, that Spamton. Oh, he's a crook alright! He'll pump you up, he'll help you reach the top of the world! Then he'll hang you out to dry! Some "big shot" he is! Well, I wasn't gonna let him sucker anyone else outta their hard earned DIGNITY, so I went right over to his "National Spamton" and beat him silly!





I'm sure he'd LOVE to take credit for what happened next - but I was acting for the good of the show! We couldn't have an obnoxious sound like this "AA EE OO" thing getting in the way of raw, unrestrained talent, so I burned the place down! That's right, little bit of lighter fluid from the Convenience Store, and the cheapest lighter I could find! We're keeping the production budget low, people - and the laughs high!

I thought I could use an extra audience member too, so I tried to let the creature outta Lab Zero, but the boss man Bonka was playing around in there with something, and let me tell you, he did NOT like that! I opened up the cage, and he vaporized the poor thing on the spot! Talk about a plot twist, I did NOT expect this guy to pack a punch like that.





...Let's just say he gave me a talking to, folks - and the censors wouldn't like it if I repeated any of it here! Guess I wasn't wanted here, so it was out into the Break Room for me - believe me, I know when someone's itching to hit that MUTE button.

Anyway, everything was all hunky-dory, then-





WHOA MAMA!

Out in that Break Room... the ROARING KNIGHT, just standing there! About one foot tall at most, but we don't discriminate on this channel! I took a step back, but the little guy just kept swinging at me with this lil' black stick! Swept my legs out from under me, and back into the fire I went. I thought I was a goner, folks - but this nondescript GIRL yanked me outta the flames before it was too late! Talk about a climax, I was on the edge of my seat!





Well, like I'm gonna let that knight ruin a good thing! No, no - the show must go on! I make my way into the Garden, get everything ready for the big moment... and when the time is right...





Say it with me, folks!








First up on today's talent docket, straight from... wherever she's from, the lovely, the elvish, the carsick... MARIE! With her talent of... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Talk about a woman after my own heart, people - she seems like the ideal viewer! Content to sit around, doing nothing but stare at the screen... We dream of an audience member like this, folks!

MANHATTAN CAFE is next, drawing patterns in the condensation on the walls! Talented? Yes! Attentive? Definitely not! The focus, the determination... all a distraction from what really matters! TELEVISION! Sorry, but I'm gonna have to put you on the lower end of the spectrum. Good news is, the spectrum currently consists of two at most!

Then we have MARVELOUS SUNDAY, and WHAT a performer she is! Confidently up on stage, answering trivia questions like nobody's business! Knowledgeable, clever, fast on the buzzer - and she always knows when to use a lifeline! I'll tell you, this lady's a ratings dynamo! If we still had the broadcast rights to Seal of Fortune, you'd better believe we'd have a star on our hands!





Fourth for the evening is VILLAGER! He doesn't seem to understand a lick of what we're saying, but that's just fine by me - neither do the producers! He's got that intuition though, he knows how to move it, he knows how to shake it! He's foraging! He's searching! What's he finding? Who knows!? Nobody knows! But it reminds me of the good old days, rummaging around for the remote in the cushions. I'll tell you folks, he'd find it alright!

Next up, AGNES TACHYON! She gets to work quickly, mixing up all kinds of colorful formulas! It's mesmerizing! It's hypnotizing! It's the perfect companion to a night in front of the the TV! Mixed drinks, a DVD party game or two, and a night of fun and excitement! What else could you ask for? This lady understood the assignment - and judging by Manhattan Cafe's reaction when she took a swig of the stuff, she's mixing something strong!

Finally, we've got our mysterious lady from earlier - the one who pulled me outta the fire, and into the frying pan! Give it up for... ERICA! She's a crack-shot marksman, folks! She's got an eye like a razor blade, and a gun like a... gun. Impressive stuff, but I can't tell you what it's got to do with TV - and guns raise our age rating a little too much. Can't give you center stage here, we'll be pushed to the midnight block.

At the end of it all, it took some clever deliberation. Had to put on my thinking cap for this one. So much TALENT, so much ENERGY... but I knew who our winners were.





MARVELOUS SUNDAY!!!

VILLAGER!!!

AGNES TACHYON!!!


You're our Top 3 performers for the evening! Whether you came in knowing it or not, the three of you have real talent - you understand the principles, you understand what matters, and most importantly... you LOVE TV! Of course, I'm a host of my word - I gave out my prizes, fair and square. Everyone got a little something special, from me to you!




That's when Agnes started to get mauled by a big cat! A cougar! A panther! A bobcat, maybe! We're on basic cable, it's not like I've got Animal Planet here! She asked for help, begged for it - but the show's over, kid - and I was due back in my dressing room! I'm not equipped for this! Get one of the other nine horses running around this joint!

Besides, a brutal mauling at the hands of a savage creature intent on bleeding you dry?





That's showbiz for you!