This post was last modified: Dec 8, 2019 at 6:25 PM by Gordon Ramsay.

Alright, let's talk about what fucking nonsense you all put me through. I can't believe I agreed to sign on for this expedition. And now there's a murder on top of it.

Right. First things first, I knew the only way any of you would ever get some good fucking food would be if I commandeered the kitchen as soon as possible. The second I woke up, I went to the kitchen, blowing off some steam by insulting the King of Town on the way. When I'm in the kitchen, I wait around to see who the hell thought they were the head chef.

Skull Face showed up, so I swung a pot at him to tell him he was a terrible fucking head chef. He blocked with a kettle, and Grell interrupted our duel. Skull Face started making some coffee - probably fucking awful coffee, I bet it tastes like gutter water - and leaves for the chapel. I... apparently made some creme brulee, I'm not entirely sure on my memories tonight, but Fink got some wine and a knight, of all things, showed up to go to the greenhouse with Grell.

Making the dessert, a plague doctor goes into the greenhouse too, and... "wet shoe guy" gets smore's materials. I'm pretty sure that's Shoey. A kind weapon or something shows up and starts baking some bread. Hope you actually know how to bake. The knight shows up with potatoes and tomatoes, and Rick Sanchez is there as well... ugh, I shudder just remembering the smell as he started making that """soup""". At least my roast potatoes were there, so that the kitchen wasn't used solely for crimes against cuisine.

Ainsley showed up, and despite what he might claim, he loved the potatoes. I could tell. He seemed about ready to come work for me, but then Rick ruined it all by offering his soup. It was a garbage concoction, and I gladly told the fucking idiot just how fucking terrible it was, smashing it out of his hand. Ainsley tries Knight's food and tells him it's awful, and we both try Kind Weapon's bread. It's good bread. Bread is good.

Leaving with some of my food, I aggressively ignore King of Town, and deliver the food to Trip at his pad. Now there's a man who can properly appreciate fine cooking. I only wish I knew why his place smelled awful - I hope that ASMR Youtuber there didn't ruin it.

I headed back and looked in at the chapel, but my memories get fuzzy here, so I only noticed three sleeping people and a "bad" stained glass. The purple baby is lying still in the backyard as I head back to the kitchen, and I place the potatoes on the table for anyone who wants them. Going to House Bishop, I go to the Leader's Bureau, interested in seeing what's there. The armor hall had all the armor despite the knight, and the Leader's Bureau... apparently there was a book missing? I really don't know. Regardless, I'm too tired to deal with this bullshit any longer, so I just sleep there.

Investigate the Chapel and the Leader's Bureau.

is the black goop from thanos' stomach ink?

I would like to investigate the dining room. I want to verify if Ramsey's potatoes are still there and look for anything suspicious.

I also want to investigate the workshop, there are a lack of accounts there, but I want to see if there is anything obviously out of place or weird.

And then finishing off the first floor of house Oliva, I also want to see if there is anything obvious or out of place in the greenhouse.

I'd like to examine and show my photo of the Poison Room.

Ainsley showed up, and despite what he might claim, he loved the potatoes. I could tell.

You are the most overblown hack I've ever had the displeasure of seeing and your food is just as bad as you are, go make more kid's snacks you McDonalds chef

Some of you were not very nice to mama!



Mama started her night by hugging the adorable swarm of friendly bees, and went to House Academia. Outside House Academia, mama saw Vincent Valentine skulking by the entrance. Mama put on the Plague Doctor Outfit then went off to explore House Minerva. Mama saw a lot of red paint splashed all over the place, but mama remembers the cyanide was untouched at this point. STEVE1989MREINFO went into the Seafarer's bedroom, and mama left for the greenhouse, where a knight was meticulously picking tomatoes. Mama grabbed some tomatoes, KG hosts (peas), and carrots, and left for House Academia.



As mama was leaving, the ladder dropped from the balcony. Mama looked around a bit, and hurt herself on a headless squirrel specimen. Mama wanted to be away from the dangerous kitchen when mama cooked, so mama was going to the Teachers' Lounge to cook, but someone had already used the Chemistry Lab, so mama cleaned up and cooked in there instead.

After mama made some soup, returned to House Minerva, and heard Baby Sans Thanos crying loudly. Mama went in to the Seafarer's bedroom to see the baby holding a knife! Bad baby! Not a toy! Mama took the knife from baby and fed the baby something to make it grow big and strong, when Skull Face and Bigfoot barge in.

This isn't what it looks like! Mama is just trying to help!



Bigfoot tells mama to leave when mama was trying to help. Mama goes to throw away the baby food mama fed Baby Sans Thanos. As mama is heading back, mama is struck from behind. Mama only sees "an ape" before blacking out (Host's words, not mine)

Y'know, I can't believe this is happening again. I thought this was all done with... I guess I can give my testimony, if it'll help at all. I've got a video too, but it's pretty lame. I can show it though, if you guys really want.

When you all showed up, I headed back to my pad for a bit, and stood outside messing with my camera, trying to tweak the settings. This ASMR Youtuber showed up, decked out with weaponry, and decided to hang out, which was pretty neat. While I was getting all that together, some samurai dude went into my waiting room, followed by this weird buzzing dude. I don't much like that last guy, whoever he was.



A while later, the Samurai left, and then this chick rolled up with a fat seal, asking for sunglasses. I have a spare pair that I handed out, because like... The seal was really cute, okay? After they left, the King of Town went in. He came out a bit later, lookin' real wack. The youtuber thought he was doing drugs, but I was always taught not to touch that stuff, so I'm not buying it.



Anyway, we went inside to my office a bit later and... Well, something was missing from my desk, and there was broken glass everywhere. It had me like, actually really worried, because of... reasons. I didn't have much time to think on it though, because this big black dude with a torch charged in. Before I could even do anything, the youtuber tackled me to the ground, and threw something at him.

Whatever it was, it exploded in a flash of light, and the torch guy was gone. MCD showed up a bit later, and while I was stoked to see him, he was smoking something that smelled, well, like... ass I guess? The youtuber and I headed out, and President Clinton's wife shows up, asking us if we can record her campaign video. I don't have anything else to do tonight, so I went with her to the Fountain.



To cut a long story short, it was boooooring. The lady just talked about the economy or something, and she gave out a bunch of war books to people. This part is basically what my episode for tonight was, which, probably won't exactly be breaking any network records.



Thankfully though, MCD showed up, not smelling totally gnarly this time. He asked if I wanted to go for drinks, and it's been forever since I've seen him, so I head off with the guy to the Leisure Room. There's this wannabe cowboy guy with a messed up face, and some guy with him, but they're both passed out cold. Heh, lightweights. MCD and I do some shots, then he asks me if I wanna buy his car!



Of course I say yes! Like, owning a car that was driven by THE MCD? I'm sold! So we head outside, and wouldn't you know it, the car is gone. He accuses the ASMR Youtuber, and like, I'm not a detective so I agree with his conclusion, and we storm off back to my pad. Weirdly, we catch that King of Town guy, looking real mean. He opens up that locked door I couldn't figure out, and slips inside.

Figuring there's not much I can really do about it, I head back to my office while MCD sleeps in the waiting room. While I'm chillin' Gordon Ramsay brings me some food, and it's great, as you'd expect. Why are there so many celebrities here, anyway? I'd be star struck, if I actually watched cooking shows, anyway. Finally, a soaking wet Shoey comes in, another familiar face. We hang out and play Super Mario Kart for a while, but only 'cuz Bubsy is single player. Eventually, he heads off, and...



I think I feel asleep at my desk. Aw man.

This post was last modified: Dec 18, 2019 at 5:23 AM by Ramone Stradvar.

I walk down to house Academia to find Ramone look keep it 1000 i was looking for my homie Sasuke and got knocked the fuck out by a Big Ass Monkey dude for showing him hentai. Literally that's the only thing of importance I did besides trying to steal from BEE's. Why the fuck is a Monkey wearing a suit and a briefcase in the study first place?????

First off, once again, I'm not a damn monkey or an ape.

As for why I was in the study. I was in there trying to do some research about this island. Figured the study would have been the best place to start. Mainly since it would have likely been the office of sort for a researcher on the island, and that the person would have notes and related material there.

As for hitting you, you had the nerve to walk in there with no introduction and start showing me your disgusting hentai fetish material. All the while not even asking me if I wanted to see it before doing so. I knocked you out where you stood on principle. That was an assault on my mind, and I wanted to stop you before you could go further with it. Then I went back to doing more careful searching and studying in the Study.

Investigate the Chapel and the Leader's Bureau.

You investigate the Chapel, looking around.

Within the Chapel, you take interest in the stained glass windows. After inspecting each and every one of them, you conclude that each window depicts biblical scenes and characters. Most of these windows are ones you would see at any other cathedral, save for one: A much bigger pane, located at the end of the chapel, right behind the pedestal, shows a somewhat brutal scene of an army commander, thrusting his sword at an innocent villager in what seems to be an act of barbarism. The man holds a shield with a design of a lion, standing on a crown with jewels, holding a sword and a staff.

There is also a bust on the altar. It appears to be from House Minerva.

The Leader's Bureau is less interesting, largely just featuring a bunch of dull financial documents, and a couple lists of inhabitants, which don't seem to give you any more info than Lotta Hart did.

is the black goop from thanos' stomach ink?

You grab a bottle of Ink from the Equipment Room and compare it to the goop. The ink smells.. well, like ink. The black goop smells slightly like a mixture of wood, paint, and formaldehyde. It's a bizarre stench, but it's not overwhelming.

I would like to investigate the dining room. I want to verify if Ramsey's potatoes are still there and look for anything suspicious.

I also want to investigate the workshop, there are a lack of accounts there, but I want to see if there is anything obviously out of place or weird.

And then finishing off the first floor of house Oliva, I also want to see if there is anything obvious or out of place in the greenhouse.

You investigate the Dining Room. Beyond the mess on the floor, which you suspect is the remnants of a certain scientist's shitty soup, you see a percolator on the stove, as well as a coffee machine. Both appear to have been used to brew. There are also several dishes in the sink. Gordon's potatoes are nowhere to be found, but you do find some leftover creme brulee. It is quite good. Obviously, your bread is still there too.

The Workshop on the other hand, appears to be entirely untouched.

You finish off by exploring the Greenhouse. It doesn't look like anything particularly interesting is in here besides the obvious assortment of plants. You notice that a couple vegetables have been picked, but no non-vegetable plant has been touched from what you can tell.

I'd like to examine and show my photo of the Poison Room.

You show your photo of the Poison Room. Compared to the physical state of the room now, the Poison Room in the photo is not missing the bottle of cyanide.

I request to see the video that trip talked about.

Things have certainly gotten off to an interesting start, haven't they? I spent the entire night in House Bishop, so it seems I missed most of the debauchery, but my night was not spent in vain.

I began with the Smoker's Lounge, where I grabbed myself a pipe and inspected the vault lock. Certainly seems to be pretty well worn, that thing. I made my way to the Wine Cellar next, where I took a gander at the floor. Where others see weathered stonework, I saw an opportunity. As I put my seasoned hands to use restoring the floor's erstwhile beauty, a sequence of suspicious characters passed through, beginning with Atelier Annie. She grabs a bottle and leaves, then DemonMist enters. He grabs two bottles and promptly attempts to bash me upside the head with one - I have to commend his bravery, so I merely caught his arm and let him go with a warning. Seal enters with a...seal, but by the grace of Byregot, that poor creature was heftier than a goobbue. She slips two bottles into her coat and leaves. Fink then enters and does the same, stuffing two bottles into her own coat. I must admit, I am concerned about how long the alcohol supply on this island will last.

Lastly, MCD barges in, swipes a bottle from DemonMist's hand and chugs away. I finished my work shortly thereafter, which you can behold for yourselves. All in a day's work for a Manderville man. I leave with MCD, who goes toward the Smoker's Lounge while I go upstairs. I pass through the Hall of Swords and grab a sturdy longsword - for reasons of self-defense, I assure you. I continue to the Leader's Bureau to see what information I could find, and I came across a rather interesting journal which I shall share with you all shortly.

Satisfied with my findings, I decided to retire for the night in the Luxury Bedroom. The pillowcases were curiously absent, but I fell asleep regardless.

With that out of the way, I would like to do two things. First, a matter of business. Should any of you find the three-digit combination to the vault lock, please inform me at once. You'll be glad you did, I guarantee.

Second, I would like to share the journal I found in the Leader's Bureau.

have we examined the body to deduce cause of death? was it poisoning or are there other signs?

Things have certainly gotten off to an interesting start, haven't they? I spent the entire night in House Bishop, so it seems I missed most of the debauchery, but my night was not spent in vain.

I began with the Smoker's Lounge, where I grabbed myself a pipe and inspected the vault lock. Certainly seems to be pretty well worn, that thing. I made my way to the Wine Cellar next, where I took a gander at the floor. Where others see weathered stonework, I saw an opportunity. As I put my seasoned hands to use restoring the floor's erstwhile beauty, a sequence of suspicious characters passed through, beginning with Atelier Annie. She grabs a bottle and leaves, then DemonMist enters. He grabs two bottles and promptly attempts to bash me upside the head with one - I have to commend his bravery, so I merely caught his arm and let him go with a warning. Seal enters with a...seal, but by the grace of Byregot, that poor creature was heftier than a goobbue. She slips two bottles into her coat and leaves. Fink then enters and does the same, stuffing two bottles into her own coat. I must admit, I am concerned about how long the alcohol supply on this island will last.

Lastly, MCD barges in, swipes a bottle from DemonMist's hand and chugs away. I finished my work shortly thereafter, which you can behold for yourselves. All in a day's work for a Manderville man. I leave with MCD, who goes toward the Smoker's Lounge while I go upstairs. I pass through the Hall of Swords and grab a sturdy longsword - for reasons of self-defense, I assure you. I continue to the Leader's Bureau to see what information I could find, and I came across a rather interesting journal which I shall share with you all shortly.

Satisfied with my findings, I decided to retire for the night in the Luxury Bedroom. The pillowcases were curiously absent, but I fell asleep regardless.

With that out of the way, I would like to do two things. First, a matter of business. Should any of you find the three-digit combination to the vault lock, please inform me at once. You'll be glad you did, I guarantee.

Second, I would like to share the journal I found in the Leader's Bureau.

journal: Show

The experiment has begun. On our voyage towards the island, I’ve questioned the subjects about their student life and why they’ve accepted to join us for this experience. Needless to say, this was done more as a profiling job to set my expectations in advance for each and every one of them. Some might be troublemakers, but I doubt that serious qualms will take place during our stay.

I’ve started with the people who were assigned to the same house as I. My wife, Aileen, sheepish as ever, did not expect to live without me by her side. And so, she weaseled herself into this mess. Alas, I couldn’t even pretend to refuse her demands, as that would sour our marriage and, quite possibly, my emotional state for this affair. She’ll be quiet, at least.

Gordon, a man I’ve heard of before. His father had a blacksmithing shop, making all sorts of outdated weaponry for bandits and nobles alike. Gordon’s family is old timed, surely, but a sword has never betrayed its owner, unlike some new technology brought onto us in recent years. Spoiled by his father, but mature from his past mistakes, he’s reserved to himself, but nobody would dare challenge him. I will need to gain his trust eventually.

Angus. Scottish, therefore, eats anger for breakfast. He had a business in various manufacturing businesses, although I never knew which ones. He thinks with his money and pride, which will certainly rough up some other people on the island.

All of us have graduated from a certain school already, but the rest of the subjects are still young and have a future to them. It’s nice to see people with ambitions running high and mighty. Perhaps they could use this experience as a lesson for their future career and, possibly, their future family.

François, a foreign chef. I spoke of ambition and this man is all for that, perhaps too much. His speech has some influences from his country, and his accent thick. Some words making less sense than others, but I haven’t asked him to repeat his sentences, yet. I look forward to his cooking, based on what I’ve heard of his recent exploits.

Valentina, a priestess from a religious family. She was quiet, enounced a few words, and that was the end of our conversation. Shy gal, but perhaps she can be approached for peace and quiet. Considering the people we have on board, her presence could be of good use.

Tomas, a florist with a knack for rare specimen. His obsession is unlike any other florist I’ve talked to, which is not many, to my discredit. He only speaks Flower, for all I know.

A woman named Alisa was also on board, but she refused to speak with me. Very rude, despite my most friendly persuasions.

Mernon, who was having an argument with Zayn. These two both have a similar field of studies, yet they disagree with each other on every facet of existence. Mernon, the “Alchemist” as he’d like to be referred to, boasts his miraculous works, but Zayn, the Chemist, takes that boasting very seriously, to the point of calling the other a blasphemer. In defense of Zayn, Alchemy is an outdated concept, but there is nothing we can do with the other man. The most we can do is pray he does not create foul creatures out of newt and wheat.

Hendrik, a brilliant Mathematician, who specializes in physics. Everyone has heard of his exploits, unlike certain others here. Long chattering was had and, quite frankly, I’m glad to have someone of high prestige on board. He is to finish his doctor’s thesis by taking part in this experiment. How can physics be applied in such an experiment, however…?

Edward, who was sleeping the entire voyage. Dare I say that this voyage took 2 days? Hendrik told me that this man’s a researcher at heart and spends countless, restless nights, discovering menial and somewhat important things. Hopefully, he doesn’t exhaust himself at the island.

Therese, a sailor with a criminal past. Criminal is an overstated word, as she has not done any crimes, but she was a pirate nonetheless. Her constant wisdom preaching is getting to many people’s minds. Perhaps she needs to talk with her head, not her heart. She was a student in cartography, but left shortly after. Apparently, she was recommended by another subject, Valentina.

Renard, a painter known for his luscious landscapes. Although not as reserved as Valentina or Gordon, he has quite a fixation on losing track of a conversation.

Nathan, a thief who joined us by force. This was demanded by the organization to include a troublemaker within us, for reforming purposes. The man had tactful words and seemed to dodge every subject that involved his criminal past. Perhaps it’s for the best, lest I have any more prejudice for him.

Percy, a romanticist in literature and in speech. His imagination is ripe with romantic scenes, but in reality, he feels much too hopeless in his search for the perfect wife.

These fifteen people and I are settled on this island for the foreseeable future. It is my duty to keep track of it all and to ensure the safety of our newfound community

@monokuma I too would like to check the baby some more. Does it have any broken bones or bruises?

I request to see the video that trip talked about.

Sure thing! Here, although don't blame me if you start snoring.

Trip's Video: Show

Hilary Clinton is standing outside in the dark. She gives a long speech about how fucked American politics are by the Fountain. A Plague Doctor passes, and Hilary gives them a book on 19th century warmongering book and a campaign flyer. The doctor stares for a moment, then takes the stuff, placing them inside of a sack they are carrying. Ruby Rose walks by, but does not even give Hilary the time of day. Hilary scowls at them, and mutters something that the microphone does not pick up. Skull Face passes too, carrying Baby Sans Thanos. He also takes Hilary’s shit, despite his hands being full.

Hilary continues for a while, her speech being extremely dry and unappealing to the youth demographic. Trip almost dozes off during the video, but catches himself and re-centers the camera.When Hilary finishes, she thanks Trip, who gives her a less than enthusiastic thumbs up in response. MCD then walks up, not smelling horrible this time. He asks Trip if he wants to go for drinks, and Trip excitedly agrees, before turning off the camera and following.

This post was last modified: Dec 8, 2019 at 7:29 PM by Spooks?.

have we examined the body to deduce cause of death? was it poisoning or are there other signs?

@monokuma I too would like to check the baby some more. Does it have any broken bones or bruises?

It appears that, beyond the earlier noted signs, the baby is almost entirely unharmed.

If no one has already done so, I would like to investigate the Seafarer's Bedroom.

The Seafarer's Bedroom is largely as it was, save for the pillowcases, which are missing. There is also a kitchen knife lying on the bed.

This post was last modified: Dec 8, 2019 at 7:38 PM by Ramone Stradvar.

I request to see the video that trip talked about.

Sure thing! Here, although don't blame me if you start snoring.

Trip's Video: Show

Hilary Clinton is standing outside in the dark. She gives a long speech about how fucked American politics are by the Fountain. A Plague Doctor passes, and Hilary gives them a book on 19th century warmongering book and a campaign flyer. The doctor stares for a moment, then takes the stuff, placing them inside of a sack they are carrying. Ruby Rose walks by, but does not even give Hilary the time of day. Hilary scowls at them, and mutters something that the microphone does not pick up. Skull Face passes too, carrying Baby Sans Thanos. He also takes Hilary’s shit, despite his hands being full.

Hilary continues for a while, her speech being extremely dry and unappealing to the youth demographic. Trip almost dozes off during the video, but catches himself and re-centers the camera.When Hilary finishes, she thanks Trip, who gives her a less than enthusiastic thumbs up in response. MCD then walks up, not smelling horrible this time. He asks Trip if he wants to go for drinks, and Trip excitedly agrees, before turning off the camera and following.

Hey @Hillary Clinton
What did you mutter to yourself in frustration when Ruby didn't pay any attention?

This post was last modified: Dec 8, 2019 at 7:37 PM by Jack of Spades.

Can mama discern what's mama's potion, and what isn't among the vomit and stomach gunk? Also, can mama sneak away from the investigation, and come back with another potion, then drink it in front of everyone to prove it's not poisonous? Also a quick check of what the potion smells like

Can mama discern what's mama's potion, and what isn't among the vomit and stomach gunk? Also, can mama sneak away from the investigation, and come back with another potion, then drink it in front of everyone to prove it's not poisonous?

You sift through the stomach contents, and determine that the thick, black goop is from your potion. You slip away for a minute, and come back with more. You gulp the potion down in front of everyone, and are suddenly transformed into a large monster, with a deer skull for a head. You are suddenly carrying a large lumber axe.

You roar, and begin to chase Gintoki with the axe for a while, until the potion wears off, returning you to your prior state.