I apologize for being late with my report; it's late because I had some family stuff to take care of yesterday evening. I know that we've already figured out who the killer was more or less, in no small part apparently due to my witness testimony, but I wanted to get my witness account up anyways in case any information is relevant on future nights and to help solidify the case against the Boston Dong.
-I wake up and grab my PILLOWCASE in case I want to sneaky sneak anything.
-I leave MY ROOM and give BRAINMASTER a BIG HUG as I leave my room; he enters DREI's room.
-As I head to the ELEVATOR, I see PEA heading UPSTAIRS and AIDAN heading to the GIFT SHOP.
-I ride and exit the ELEVATOR uneventfully and head to STORAGE. I hear the ELEVATOR called back down as I leave.
-I enter STORAGE, and FUN WITH DESPAIR enters slightly after me. For some reason, FUN WITH DESPAIR is wearing a KLAN ROBE and is holding the HOOD like a bag.
-I silently wonder to myself if the KLAN MEMES are getting a little tired. Nevertheless, I continue on in pursuit of my OBJECTIVE for the night, and I locate a SLEDGEHAMMER and TOILET PAPER in STORAGE.
-I fashion a MUMMY COSTUME out of the TOILET PAPER while FWD grabs a PLASTIC SKELETON (???), a NOTEBOOK, and an OFFICE NAMEPLATE (?????). A PA ANNOUNCEMENT plays, telling DESPAIR to FUCK OFF, before it gets cut off.
-I leave DESPAIR as he writes something in his NOTEBOOK and begin making my pilgrimage towards the TOILETS.
-Immediately, as I leave STORAGE, I see LASSIE chasing SOME NAKED INDIVIDUAL. I take a swing at the NAKED INDIVIDUAL with my SLEDGEHAMMER, but I don't look closely enough to ID the NAKED INDIVIDUAL. Witness reports and the collaborative timeline of events would confirm this was THE BOSTON DONG, however.
-I make it to the TOILETS. I check each TOILET for explosives before I methodically SMASH each and every single one.
-SHADOW walks in while I smash the TOILETS and throws a BOTTLE at me, but he misses. I retaliate by swinging my SLEDGEHAMMER, but I miss, too. With both of us deeply embarrassed at how bad we are at fighting, SHADOW runs away.
-I take off my PISS MUMMY costume, and leave the costume and my SLEDGEHAMMER on the floor of the TOILETS.
-BLASTERWYRMS enters the bathroom and challenges me to a game of WAKU WAKU 7 (?????????), which he WINS primarily because he never explained the RULES to me. He celebrates his victory by POOPING on the floor. In this moment, I wonder to myself if smashing the TOILETS was a mistake after all, but I shrug it off and leave before the smell makes me sick.
-I head to the CAFETERIA, where I see DRAKU standing by a beautiful MEAT BUST of 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, REST IN PEACE MISTER PRESIDENT
. As I pay my respects, I scream in joy at how wonderful the bust is.
-DRAKU and I leave and return to our respective rooms. On the way, I see PEA sitting on top of the MONOSHIKA STATUE and ELYK leaving the GIFT SHOP. BLASTERWYRMS is close behind me as I return, but stays in the LOBBY instead of returning to his room.
-Somebody took some of my SHOES??? Somebody needs to put LASSIE on a LEASH.
-I wake up and grab my PILLOWCASE in case I want to sneaky sneak anything.
-I leave MY ROOM and give BRAINMASTER a BIG HUG as I leave my room; he enters DREI's room.
-As I head to the ELEVATOR, I see PEA heading UPSTAIRS and AIDAN heading to the GIFT SHOP.
-I ride and exit the ELEVATOR uneventfully and head to STORAGE. I hear the ELEVATOR called back down as I leave.
-I enter STORAGE, and FUN WITH DESPAIR enters slightly after me. For some reason, FUN WITH DESPAIR is wearing a KLAN ROBE and is holding the HOOD like a bag.
-I silently wonder to myself if the KLAN MEMES are getting a little tired. Nevertheless, I continue on in pursuit of my OBJECTIVE for the night, and I locate a SLEDGEHAMMER and TOILET PAPER in STORAGE.
-I fashion a MUMMY COSTUME out of the TOILET PAPER while FWD grabs a PLASTIC SKELETON (???), a NOTEBOOK, and an OFFICE NAMEPLATE (?????). A PA ANNOUNCEMENT plays, telling DESPAIR to FUCK OFF, before it gets cut off.
-I leave DESPAIR as he writes something in his NOTEBOOK and begin making my pilgrimage towards the TOILETS.
-Immediately, as I leave STORAGE, I see LASSIE chasing SOME NAKED INDIVIDUAL. I take a swing at the NAKED INDIVIDUAL with my SLEDGEHAMMER, but I don't look closely enough to ID the NAKED INDIVIDUAL. Witness reports and the collaborative timeline of events would confirm this was THE BOSTON DONG, however.
-I make it to the TOILETS. I check each TOILET for explosives before I methodically SMASH each and every single one.
-SHADOW walks in while I smash the TOILETS and throws a BOTTLE at me, but he misses. I retaliate by swinging my SLEDGEHAMMER, but I miss, too. With both of us deeply embarrassed at how bad we are at fighting, SHADOW runs away.
-I take off my PISS MUMMY costume, and leave the costume and my SLEDGEHAMMER on the floor of the TOILETS.
-BLASTERWYRMS enters the bathroom and challenges me to a game of WAKU WAKU 7 (?????????), which he WINS primarily because he never explained the RULES to me. He celebrates his victory by POOPING on the floor. In this moment, I wonder to myself if smashing the TOILETS was a mistake after all, but I shrug it off and leave before the smell makes me sick.
-I head to the CAFETERIA, where I see DRAKU standing by a beautiful MEAT BUST of 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, REST IN PEACE MISTER PRESIDENT
. As I pay my respects, I scream in joy at how wonderful the bust is.-DRAKU and I leave and return to our respective rooms. On the way, I see PEA sitting on top of the MONOSHIKA STATUE and ELYK leaving the GIFT SHOP. BLASTERWYRMS is close behind me as I return, but stays in the LOBBY instead of returning to his room.
-Somebody took some of my SHOES??? Somebody needs to put LASSIE on a LEASH.
100% pure gamer 100%
