This post was last modified: Nov 15, 2018 at 2:48 AM by Cdiplayer.

Hey everyone! So the first issue of my comic book project known as Neuron is now complete! I would love some constructive criticism and proofreaders to make sure I haven't missed any typos before I release it. Obviously I can't share the full comic on here, but if anyone is interested just send me a PM and I will email you the full comic. Probably goes without saying but please do not share the full comic with anyone or post it anywhere online.
Also, FYI, these pages are NOT sequential, just a random selection from issue 1.
I should also mention that this is NOT my best work. I wrote this entire 37 page comic over the course of 2 nights with little to no planning or editing. I never really thought this project would take off faster than Wake Walkers but...here we are I suppose.
Here are a few preview pages so you all know what you're in for! :)

Yeeeaaah, gonna have to pass on picking up the film rights to this one.

PMed ;)
who's the chick in blue

it looks alright for what it is. the dialogue is really choppy though, and the character art seems, well, inconsistent. who did you have collaborating with you on this?

This post was last modified: Nov 15, 2018 at 12:23 AM by Yrrzy.

not sure why you're coming to us for criticism/proofreading after having it drawn, bit late to change anything now, but here goes

I'm assuming these are random excerpts from the comic since they don't flow into each other, so I can't say much about the story/pacing/exposition, I can't really follow anything that's going on without the context

honestly the dialogue is kinda stilted, it feels like its trying to cram too much into each speech bubble and none of it sounds like things people would actually say

the art's hit and miss, some of the shots i like but a lot of it is messy and hard to read, and overall it's kind of inconsistent


still, i'm always happy to see people exploring their passions, creating things and learning from them

These pages aren't meant to be sequential, right?

These pages aren't meant to be sequential, right?

Yeah, these are pages throughout the comic, just meant to be a preview. They are not sequential.

it looks alright for what it is. the dialogue is really choppy though, and the character art seems, well, inconsistent. who did you have collaborating with you on this?

I collab'd with a British artist by the name of Lacey James. The art is probably a symptom of how fast he works more than anything.

This post was last modified: Nov 15, 2018 at 7:53 PM by T-man.

hilldawg playin vita

what is this from

hilldawg playin vita

what is this from

I have no idea.

not sure why you're coming to us for criticism/proofreading after having it drawn, bit late to change anything now, but here goes

I'm assuming these are random excerpts from the comic since they don't flow into each other, so I can't say much about the story/pacing/exposition, I can't really follow anything that's going on without the context

honestly the dialogue is kinda stilted, it feels like its trying to cram too much into each speech bubble and none of it sounds like things people would actually say

the art's hit and miss, some of the shots i like but a lot of it is messy and hard to read, and overall it's kind of inconsistent


still, i'm always happy to see people exploring their passions, creating things and learning from them

Yeah, they are random excerpts. I appreciate the criticism. The dialogue is probably just a symptom of the speed with which it was written. As I mentioned, this comic was written over the course of two nights as a backup comic book script in case my first comic, Wake Walkers, got stuck in limbo. I put years of effort into crafting the Wake Walkers universe, and I spent months on the script. I am much more proud of that one, unfortunately issue one won't be done for another month. I think I probably did try to cram too much into a lot of the speech bubbles. I will try to rectify that in the next issue.

Definitely a good start. I liked the overall feel of it. The dialogue is amusing. It could be a satire comic, if that’s what you were going for. I’m impressed though that you’ve completed one issue in two nights. Keep up the good work. Just fine tune as much as you can with this issue. Good luck!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/130...ject_build# The Kickstarter is live!