Tonight was a Rough Night my Info Wars Friends. Because Dante died? No, fuck that commie. Because your very own Alex Jones was... Well, I'll get there.


I emerge from my room with my wedding gift in hand, the keg, and pass by some sick fuck making a bubsy mask. Amoeba have you no shame? Impersonating such an iconic figure just to get citizenship in the states?


I enter the racing strip and nothing is set up, but I leave my wedding gift behind anyways. I can't wait too long for info wars so I ask Trip to join me and head over to the garage, where I make a few adjustments in preparation for Teddie to arrive. I wait for a bit and then when everything is ready;
"We're here in a foreign land, the worst place to be. Why? Because it's not America! This is dangerous indeed so we have to keep our wits about us. Fortunately I've got plenty of wits to go around! THIS IS INFO WARS! Out here in unknown lands there's danger everywhere. Poor people asking you for money, poor people asking you for religion, poor people asking you for food, and poor people trying to take what is rightfully AMERICA'S. We as Americans have but one way to stand against this menace. THE MILITARY! That's right, why else would we be involved in the most wars world wide? Because we think it's fun? No, because it's necessary for the good of the WORLD."

Just then my guest pops out of the tank behind me, "I one hundred percent agree with you Mr. Jones! In grave times such as this it's important we keep focused. We're not out of the woods yet!"


He's right! We're still very much in these woods. I turn to the general who is now joining me when my expert analytical super genius brain notices that his uniform does not match any of the American standards. This calls for a test, a blood test! WILL YOU BLEED FOR AMERICA? Teddie agrees to do "How to tell if someone is a commie by their blood." His body is a little, eh... strange, so I ask trip to look away in case I make a mess. Th-

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And what a talk that was! With Info wars over, I had some business to attend to at the wedding. A best man's gotta make a speech!


I roll up to the wedding in my Info Wars best and join the party for a while as Coffee, Amoeba, and Kaede are there too, as well as, some food by your keg, including a wedding cake and some ice for the drinks. The groom and bride are up by the podium with Xavier preparing their vows. You can't do the vows without a best man speech! I shove him aside and get everyone's attention. Except for one person sneaking into the garage, but I do not know who

“I've known Shoey for a while now and I'm honored to be up here as his best man. I've written and performed countless scripts for my own show, but rarely am I asked to speak on a joyous occasion such as this. So to avoid boring you I'll keep this brief but meaningful. After tonight, shoey will be a lawfully wedded man to a beautiful wife. But we mustn't forget who shoey is! The shoey that memes about history on an astounding level! The shoey that pulls ridiculous scenarios out of thin air! The shoey that can pacify even a wendigo long enough to smoke with it! So Shoey! Please come over here!"

As Shoey comes over so does Honoka. She raises her fist and likely due to my ferocious and fashionable aie around me, she goes to punch me! But she punches Shoey instead. Marital issues right of the bat I see. Anyways, I lean down to Shoey, "You're a lucky man, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. I wouldn't dare try to get in the way of your marriage... but you aren't married yet so-"

I give him a good punch (to the shoulder) "That's for all of the shit you cause you lucky sonuvabitch!"I scoop him up and begin weeping tears of joy.

Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't look like that much of a baby, what move is the media trying to pull here, discrediting my public image! Let me just fix that real quick...

Better.

I stick around for a bit and play some nice music for the wedding before heading off to investigate something, Info Wars never sleeps! As I reach the elevator I use my expert hacking skills once more.

And I break into the elevator basement floor. It's dark so I pull out my flashlight and I'm immediatly ambushed by some LOW LIFE that was hiding down here. I try to fend them off but they have murderous red eyes and a jagged shape. They stab a straight dagger into my shoulder, but before they can finish me off I enter a RAGE.

and throw them off! They appear to be fighting in their element, so I elect to take the fight elsewhere! I run through a hallway and see some light up ahead, perfect. They'll be at a disadvantage here. I slam open the door- Liz?

I'm in the guardhouse now apparently. Liz looks at me in shock and I explain what happened. She agrees to watch out through that door and I give my thanks as I continue on with my last objective of the night. I wanted to make sure those tunnels connect to the other studios so I go down to check. Sure enough they do. However I made a miscalculation and thought I could exit into the woods as well, but you cannot. So instead I had to go back to studio X the same way I came in, much to my chagrin. And sure enough, a faux attempt knocked me down the stairs. Nice try TOM, but you'll have to try harder than you did in studio B, us studio A are tougher folk. However, making me eat my own words is shroomguy, who comes over as if he were my guardian angel, and patches me up as he carries me away to my own room to rest.

Also, I'd like to investigate the garage for missing tools, especially things that are curved.

Terezi has consented to sniffing out the chemical in Dante's stomach. We'll get to the bottom of this yet, people!

In the meantime, I'd like to check the state of the toilet in the bathroom itself.

Terezi sniffs the chemicals in Dante's stomach. Due to her heightened sense of smell, you determine that the chemical itself is Turpentine.

You thank her and check out the toilet itself. The toilet has been unclogged, but is filled with vomit, the same kind dripping out of Dante's mouth, as well as blood. It doesn't seem to have been tampered with though.

Add the arts room for looking for turpentine and other missing curved things as well please.

I'd like to try a meat hook and a set of claws from something say... a bear rug that's somewhere. or a rake.

You look in the Breakroom for a meat hook. It doesn't appear to match the wounds. Comparing it to the claws of the Wendigo Animatronic, the closest clawed thing you can find, deems them to be very similar.

The Wendigo Animatronic's claws are also curiously bloody, but there is not a large amount on them.

also let's do a medical check. Was dante's heart stopped due to digestion of the chemical in his stomach, or is there evidence of blood loss and trauma doing him in? Shouldn't be too hard to distinguish.

It appears that Dante has lost a lot of blood, and the Turpentine contents of his stomach just don't seem like enough to do more than make him sick.

Also, I'd like to investigate the garage for missing tools, especially things that are curved.

The Garage tools appear to have been rummaged through, but all that is missing is a spool of steel wire.

Add the arts room for looking for turpentine and other missing curved things as well please.

There is a bloody pair of scissors in the Practical Effects Lab, but no missing implements. You do notice that a bottle of turpentine appears to be missing from the stash

Closer look at the animatronic please. And any other claw based items similar to that animatronic. Maybe some missing crafts or a few blades from somewhere.

Closer look at the animatronic please. And any other claw based items similar to that animatronic. Maybe some missing crafts or a few blades from somewhere.

You notice that the Animatronic is holding a fog machine in one claw. The other claw is bloody, but not overly so. Some actions are queued up on the control panel, but none have been performed from what you can tell.

You cannot search the entire studio to magically conjure all claw shaped items. Be specific.

Sorry, I only meant in the previously checked rooms, but I left that part out.

Does the blood on the claw look like it was from slashing with it's claws, or from using something it was holding.

Hey, cameraman! Where's that exclusive InfoWars footage?

I'd like to quickly investigate both cold storage and the fridge/freezer in the breakroom for anything amiss.

Check dante's teeth, when you chew ice it leaves marks on your teeth and propagates whats in your mouth in places that drinking wouldnt. Based on traces of turpentine in his mouth does it support he drank it or chewed it.

I'd like to quickly investigate both cold storage and the fridge/freezer in the breakroom for anything amiss.

The Cold Storage is in mostly the same shape it started out in, although some dry ice is missing, as well as a thermal bag. An extremely bloody towel sits on the floor, wrapped in it is a bottle of paint thinner.

Check dante's teeth, when you chew ice it leaves marks on your teeth and propagates whats in your mouth in places that drinking wouldnt. Based on traces of turpentine in his mouth does it support he drank it or chewed it.

You don't have access to advances forensics that would allow you to check for those sorts of traces.

If we still have access, can I take a look at the Wendigo animatronic from Studio A?

Can we compare the paint thinner to the turpentine.

I would have went to the wedding, but I had to sit and watch that Producer guy, just to make sure he didn't go around shooting people again.

Would be nice if people could stop joking about me being "bad at my job", but I won't hold my breath.

I figured he'd be trying to actually do something, but he mostly just sat around and talked about his rifle. Kaede came by and invited me, but I told her I had my hands full. I left a while later, that Producer still following me, but The Other Monokuma came by and flipped me off. He did something to the Producer that made him chase after him, but that's not really my problem.

If anyone deserves to get shot, it's TOM, so I left them to chase each other around and went into the tunnel. Sat alone in the Security Room down there, until Alex Jones busted in through this one door in there I've never been able to get open. He claimed he was in the basement or something and got chased. I let him out without any trouble, and the rest of the night was quiet.

If we still have access, can I take a look at the Wendigo animatronic from Studio A?

The animatronic from Studio A sits in its usual spot on the Horror Set, still wearing sunglasses, a tie, and with angry red eyebrows drawn on it. Other than that, it's clean, except for the brain splatters from Smasher's grisly death.

Can we compare the paint thinner to the turpentine.

It appears they are practically the same substance.

Investigate the animatronic in Studio X and see if it can be disassembled.

Investigate the animatronic in Studio X and see if it can be disassembled.

Taking the artificial skin off the Animatronic, you see that you can indeed disassemble it, although it appears to be a complicated device, and therefore would require some expertise in the subject.

Is there anything on Dante's body possession wise?