Hello again everyone. I have been extremely busy as of late, setting up to take complete control of Minus World Hospital. As a result, we will no longer be needing you all by the end of this week. I will have the compiled responses for the final day completed and posted tonight. In the meantime, I have received word from Yahoo Hospital that they would like to do something special to thank us.

Yahoo Hospital will be taking one question from each of our doctors. Post your question as well as which section you believe it should go into and I will send them along then report back with their responses.

DON’T MIND IF I DO! AHEM:

“WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU SMALL-BRAINED, MENTALLY INEPT LUMPS OF HAIR AND SKIN? IF YOU ASK ME, YOUR GOD WAS WAY TOO FORGIVING TO LET YOU SURVIVE PAST THE NOSTALGIC CAVEMAN DAYS! WHY CAN’T ALL OF YOU BE GENIUSES, BE CONSISTENT! ONE GUY DISCOVERS THE CURE TO CANCER AND HIS NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR ASKS TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE IF HER BOOBS CAN GET HARD! DO YOU MORTAL FREAKS WANT TO KNOW WHY ALIENS HAVEN’T NOTICED YOU? THEY THINK STUPIDITY IS A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE! YOU’LL ALL LEAD TO YOUR OWN DOWNFALL AT THE HAND OF YOUR IDIOCY WHILE ALL ALONE ON THAT DYING BLUE ROCK YOU CALL A PLANET!”

PUT IT IN WOMEN’S HEALTH!

This post was last modified: Jan 16, 2019 at 4:43 PM by Kaede Akamatsu.

I have a question! I've been feeling a little off, lately. Ever since I had some flashlight shined straight into my eyes, I've started hallucinating things and, at times, I'd lose control of myself and would start saying horrible things that I would never say to anyone. I'm worried that this might get worse, what should I do?

Put this in Mental Health. Thank you.

skin conditions
how can i prevent the appearance of stigmata? they show up every 3-4 days and it's getting pretty obnoxious

Lately I've been looking a lot at my testicles and I ended up realizing at one night that my left testicle is x3 times smaller than the right one.

I touched myself a bit some days later and it ended up hurting like hell hours later. Went to the medic and they all told me it was just pain in my hips, which wasn't true.

Eventually, I found out that my left testicle wasn't working anymore and was the size of Pluto, a piece of corn, a small piece of milk in bad state.

I resolved the problem with a doctor and he said he is going to perform surgery on me later this year and chop chop chop that son of a gun.

Question is, can I still masturbate now or after the surgery? I get horny often.

I keep hearing the voice of my father in my head. He continues to suggest that I murder people and dismember their corpses to create holy art in his name.

How do I tell him to shut up?

This post was last modified: Jan 16, 2019 at 5:52 PM by Yoshikage Kira.

I’ve noticed that my girlfriend’s hand(s) are starting to slowly deteriorate, but she doesn’t want to admit it. What’s the best way to freshen a woman’s hands up? It would be a shame if I...had to get a new one.

Hey alright, I'm glad we can get some medical help. See, I just had sex with my girlfriend who I met in a VR game. She was one of the only girls in that VR game and we were trapped in there for two years, actually, and because the helmets were loaded with microwaves we weren't allowed to take them off until we won the game. Anyways so like, we finally do it, right? And I drop the bombs in her, and its like, REALLY intense, right? Like, it's so intense that it seems like the load entered her body and stimulated her. I think it might have turned sentient like some kind of home-grown Venom symbiote bent on pleasuring my internet girlfriend. Anyways so like, after that I fell unconscious for a while. So I have a few questions:

1. Do I have to wait another 2 years before I can get that kind of magic semen again? Or can I speed up the process? Maybe the helmet had a role in it?

2. If the helmet DID have a role in this, then how can I get a patent on a sex-enhancement-focused redesign of the helmet I had to wear?

3. Is it normal to fall unconscious after I ejaculate?

Thanks Yahoo answers, you guys are the best. Keep it real

"What's the best way to deal with cratered acne? Everytime I peeled the scar it was deeper and now I can touch my rib. :/"

Men's Health

The end of one of my toes is sort of numb and swollen - but it's not broken or anything. Any ideas?

...Men's Health I guess?

This post was last modified: Jan 17, 2019 at 12:44 AM by Xavier [Director].

Right, so I think I'm having a bit of an issue regarding "employee respect", and I'll elaborate on that real quick. During one of my previous excursions out to this work site, I happened to misplace a certain object that I very much need for future endeavors, but due to circumstances well beyond my control, it was a while before I could regain access to the site to look for it.

So time passes, and eventually I head back to the worksite with a different crew, and I swear to god, all hell breaks loose. There was a bear attack on the first night, which must have set these clowns on edge because it just kept getting worse. They ruined the employee party with an unfortunate incident regarding bowel movements, our Janitor outright died on-site (although he wasn't exactly my favorite person), and these complete idiots have been running around harassing each other day in and day out.

I don't even want to be here, I want to get my shit and go. The only people I kind of like are the cameraman, because he's as dumb as a rock, but doesn't really try anything funny, and this other guy who's been just a great help. Fuck the security guard, total bitch.

Now, the problem here, is that I'm in a position now where I CAN actually start looking for my stuff, but these people are constantly going out of their way to ruin my day. How can I rein them in a bit? No, murder is not an option, it's against the rules.

how can i get away with murder?

How do I bring Colonel Sanders back to life?

For some reason I keep dying the second night I use the bathroom. What's going on?

What’s the best way to cut off your own arms without the assistance of someone?

Anyone that I skipped: I will post yours later as it has been deemed "potentially unsafe". I can only send five patients per day. Here are the results from the first batch:

I have a question! I've been feeling a little off, lately. Ever since I had some flashlight shined straight into my eyes, I've started hallucinating things and, at times, I'd lose control of myself and would start saying horrible things that I would never say to anyone. I'm worried that this might get worse, what should I do?

Put this in Mental Health. Thank you.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...753AAtz4z8

skin conditions
how can i prevent the appearance of stigmata? they show up every 3-4 days and it's getting pretty obnoxious

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...842AA9spaa

Lately I've been looking a lot at my testicles and I ended up realizing at one night that my left testicle is x3 times smaller than the right one.

I touched myself a bit some days later and it ended up hurting like hell hours later. Went to the medic and they all told me it was just pain in my hips, which wasn't true.

Eventually, I found out that my left testicle wasn't working anymore and was the size of Pluto, a piece of corn, a small piece of milk in bad state.

I resolved the problem with a doctor and he said he is going to perform surgery on me later this year and chop chop chop that son of a gun.

Question is, can I still masturbate now or after the surgery? I get horny often.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...003AAXMt8e

I keep hearing the voice of my father in my head. He continues to suggest that I murder people and dismember their corpses to create holy art in his name.

How do I tell him to shut up?

You enter Yahoo Hospital and lay down on the examination table. Some doctors assist you, suggesting that you may have schizophrenia and that you should get help. You tell them that is why you are here. They then administer a lethal injection and you pass away peacefully.

I’ve noticed that my girlfriend’s hand(s) are starting to slowly deteriorate, but she doesn’t want to admit it. What’s the best way to freshen a woman’s hands up? It would be a shame if I...had to get a new one.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...409AA5dR6E

Hey alright, I'm glad we can get some medical help. See, I just had sex with my girlfriend who I met in a VR game. She was one of the only girls in that VR game and we were trapped in there for two years, actually, and because the helmets were loaded with microwaves we weren't allowed to take them off until we won the game. Anyways so like, we finally do it, right? And I drop the bombs in her, and its like, REALLY intense, right? Like, it's so intense that it seems like the load entered her body and stimulated her. I think it might have turned sentient like some kind of home-grown Venom symbiote bent on pleasuring my internet girlfriend. Anyways so like, after that I fell unconscious for a while. So I have a few questions:

1. Do I have to wait another 2 years before I can get that kind of magic semen again? Or can I speed up the process? Maybe the helmet had a role in it?

2. If the helmet DID have a role in this, then how can I get a patent on a sex-enhancement-focused redesign of the helmet I had to wear?

3. Is it normal to fall unconscious after I ejaculate?

Thanks Yahoo answers, you guys are the best. Keep it real

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...047AADevRq

"What's the best way to deal with cratered acne? Everytime I peeled the scar it was deeper and now I can touch my rib. :/"

Men's Health

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...142AAhlfWE

The end of one of my toes is sort of numb and swollen - but it's not broken or anything. Any ideas?

...Men's Health I guess?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...208AALOXvO

Right, so I think I'm having a bit of an issue regarding "employee respect", and I'll elaborate on that real quick. During one of my previous excursions out to this work site, I happened to misplace a certain object that I very much need for future endeavors, but due to circumstances well beyond my control, it was a while before I could regain access to the site to look for it.

So time passes, and eventually I head back to the worksite with a different crew, and I swear to god, all hell breaks loose. There was a bear attack on the first night, which must have set these clowns on edge because it just kept getting worse. They ruined the employee party with an unfortunate incident regarding bowel movements, our Janitor outright died on-site (although he wasn't exactly my favorite person), and these complete idiots have been running around harassing each other day in and day out.

I don't even want to be here, I want to get my shit and go. The only people I kind of like are the cameraman, because he's as dumb as a rock, but doesn't really try anything funny, and this other guy who's been just a great help. Fuck the security guard, total bitch.

Now, the problem here, is that I'm in a position now where I CAN actually start looking for my stuff, but these people are constantly going out of their way to ruin my day. How can I rein them in a bit? No, murder is not an option, it's against the rules.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...336AAEJcHB

How do I bring Colonel Sanders back to life?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...459AAmhWzA

I will kill you wabbit, with my spear and magic helmet. Your spear and magic helmet? Yes, my spear and magic helmet. West winds blow, East winds blow. South winds blow. Lightning, thunder, smog!

thanks yahoo answers i knew i could trust you

how can i get away with murder?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...724AAd2mBO

For some reason I keep dying the second night I use the bathroom. What's going on?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...942AA3VxbD

What’s the best way to cut off your own arms without the assistance of someone?

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index...050AAAe1Ki