"I've been ignoring the giant hawk over there who's been politely offering me a ride, I should go take him up on his offer."
Perhaps not realizing you are still quite insane you take the giant hawk up on its generous offer to fly you around. As you begin mounting the madman tugs your sleeve and asks "So I never got your name." Giving him your answer (without an e mind you) he then continues, "Well, Cuckaroony, I can see this is your first time being insane and I hate to be the cucker of Cucky, but you're tripping hard enough that you think a chopped down tree is a hawk. Looking down at what you just mounted you swear you can feel the feathers and the hawk itself assures you its real, isn't that proof enough? E-Kyl maintains a stoic expression but you can feel amusement radiate off of him like a pot of macaroni and cheese brownies, an E-Kyl specialty. Unsure who to trust you ask the hawk to take you for a test flight. It begins sweating profusely and says it has to wait for the others to get on. Relaying this to the others the madman gets on with a sigh and E-Kyl mounts with a similar sigh, as if the two of them suddenly don't trust you.
"Alright now fly!" You shout. The eagle rears back then with a bang just soars into the air, streaking through the sky. The wind feels great and the clouds look beautiful, not to mention your final destination is looming on the horizon! Shame on your companions for not believing you. Speaking of you turn around to see the look on their faces now that they've been proven wrong, but their expressions take you by surprise. Well, E-Kyl's doesn't, that fucker lost the ability to smile when he tried his own cooking. But the madman looks at you with pity. He leans back to E-Kyl and whispers something to which E-Kyl nods and grabs your arm. No clue what's going on he only says "Sorry Cuck." and a strong electrical charge runs through you from his hand, knocking you out.
*Electrical damage taken! Health at 50%*
*Insanity Lost!*
When you finally shake yourself awake it is once again just the two dopes you've roped into this mess. Groggily standing up you call out to them, clutching your head. They notice you awake then beckon you over. As you stumble around you do notice that your scenery has no changed, and there is indeed a felled tree not far away.
"So, Cuck, I don't think insanity is for you." says the wastrel. "It takes years of commitment and despair to really understand how to be functionally insane." Groaning you realize that according to that definition, it's basically the same as anime. Both are too high maintenance and not worth the effort apparently. "But at least you can understand me some now, which is good." As you nod in agreement realization hits you. "Wait a second, how could you tell E-Kyl what to do! He's perfectly sane!" The two look at each other and nod. It's E-Kyl that speaks up. "Yeah I'm just an idiot. So it's easy to learn new things (poorly)." The stupefied look on your face would find itself at home in a gag manga but you can't deny the truth behind his statement as they clearly can communicate. It's only you that's out of luck.
"Ok, fine. But now that that's over with we really should get going." Yet as you try to pace away once again the vagrant stops you. "You're still disoriented and it is getting late. You were knocked out for quite a while, really cucked you out of your day. It'd be best to rest." All of this cockamamie bullshit is just making maters worse right now and you've got nothing to show currently with time running out. Scratching your head you decide...

Vote
React for "You're right. I should just take a fresh start tomorrow and cut my losses currently. E-Kyl you're on watch duty while I rest away the night."
React for "No, I have to press on. I've got you two with me so that should be enough to carry me out of this forest before the sun rises."
React "Ok we don't have time to walk. But what if... E-Kyl shot the ground really really hard with his thunder bolt and launched the party across the sky in a big group hug, escaping in one clean shot."
React for "Maybe Drak could get me out of here...?"

Partner Opinion
Madman: "Please just rest."
E-Kyl: "Don't pick option one, I don't want to stay up all night. I have work in the morning."

if you were knocked out for a while isn't that in itself rest

PRESS ONWARD

This post was last modified: Mar 30, 2020 at 4:37 PM by Aidan.

insanity and anime are really just two sides of the same coin
you ever see magical shopping arcade abenobashi? holy shit i was either insane or anime a couple episodes into that one

"Ok we don't have time to walk. But what if... E-Kyl shot the ground really really hard with his thunder bolt and launched the party across the sky in a big group hug, escaping in one clean shot."
"No" says E-Kyl. "That's stupid." Casually you remind E-Kyl that he loves doing stupid things. "Ok, you convinced me." Easy. "So how are we going to do this? Hold hands or something else?" Explaining the situation you describe how both you and the madman will give E-Kyl a large group hug and hang on that way. "Alright, but this is still stupid." Yes, it is.
Mounted and all hugged up you and the madman are ready for launch. Giving E-Kyl the signal he points his hands downwards and shoots electricity at the ground. This provides no force and simple dissipates into the ground, as electricity would do. What's that, you want a redo? This isn't the level of crazy you signed up for? Fine. Telling Kyle to try a large thunderbolt, a really booming one. A little unsure he nods and squares his stance. With a grunt he lets loose a large blast of thunder, shaking the leaves off all the trees around you. Wait no, the leaves didn't fall, you went above them. This actually worked?
Soaring through the skies the three of you feel slight relief at the plan actually having somehow worked. Now making tremendous headway you come to the realization of two things. First, you're still in a bad way and clinging to your conscience is difficult. Second, how are you going to stop? There isn't long till your arc of momentum dies out, so what can you do?

Vote
React for "HNNNNNNNNNNG FBFBFBFBFBFBFBF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Pisses Self and Pass Out"
React for "The madman's cloak could make a makeshift glider/parachute. But he'd have to take it off and then there's nothing containing his stank in."
React for "More Lightning..."
React for "DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK"
Bonus React: for "Die"

Partner Opinion
Madman: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
E-Kyl: Don't die yet.

thankfully we have a solution here, we can steal that parachute AND get rid of the stank from this vantage point

This post was last modified: Apr 1, 2020 at 10:26 AM by Snufferin Snagglepuss.

"The madman's cloak could make a makeshift glider/parachute. But he'd have to take it off and then there's nothing containing his stank in."
At first he's a bit confused why you're disrobing him but then he understands as you get one sleeve off his arm. "Cuckaroony please, now is not the time for a circle jerk!" Giving him a look of disgust you figure that's something he deals with a lot. However you focus on the matter at hand and eventually get his cloak off and tell him to hold one side while you hold the other. But holy SHIT does it smell bad. What does he do all day, work in a morgue and drink alcohol all day? Yikes!
With something to catch the air the momentum of your air travel is becoming much more manageable as the city draws closer. It's unlikely you will reach inside the city with this path but perhaps that's a good thing? Slowing down has brought its consequences however and with out the air blowing past you at high speeds the smell is really starting to get to you. If you don't focus you might actually pass out. Steeling your mind you dedicate your thoughts to your next actions as you analyze the scene.
The city is not far ahead, it'd take maybe an hour or two to walk there after you land, but you've gotten no sleep and are injured so it might take longer. Currently your height above ground is enough to fall without hitting lethal levels of velocity, but landing wrong would hurt. E-Kyl is passing out himself but he isn't currently needed, or is he? The night is still strong but the sun would rise in a healthy hour.

Vote
React for "This is Foe Hammer coming in hot! Prepare for impact!" *Continue on to the ground*
React for "I'm going to ask E-Kyl to give us one last boost and launch us straight into the city and over the walls. Also this will help him avoid passing out from stank."
React for "This stank is seriously bad and any more exposure to it will have some serious consequences. (This is true)." *Let go*
React for "Psyche, not even Drak can save you from this stank. So instead this option will willing pass out to avoid consciously breathing in the horrid stench."

DOUBLE BOOST

"I'm going to ask E-Kyl to give us one last boost and launch us straight into the city and over the walls. Also this will help him avoid passing out from stank."
"No." says E-Kyl. "I'm tired and I have work tomorrow." You roll your eyes. "Shut the fuck up, you're just going to play gacha and discuss tidbits of random media forms with two-hand for 2 hours before actually sleeping." *you give him a light slap across the face.* "Now help me out here!" E-Kyl sighs and starts adjusting himself. Across from you the madman clears his throat to get your attention. "You know, ever since I met you Cuck I was wondering what it was about your name that sounded so familiar. I felt threatened even. Like someone was trying to steal my identity. But seeing you now, I can clearly see that I don't need to worry about that. Because now I can see you're clearly a fucking moron." Scowling you remind him "You're literally insane, what do I have to prove to you." There's a moment of silence and he hangs his head in dejection. It seems like he's well aware of the fact that his opinions are always irrelevant and unasked for but he didn't want it brought up in front of him.
Before you can even consider apologizing there's another sonic blast from E-Kyl and the lot of you propel forward with very little control. The momentum will clearly carry you over the wall, but there really isn't any good way of stopping is there? Heck, you don't even have a choice where to stop with how little control you have right now.

Vote
React for "Crash into a wall and be knocked unconscious."

Wow it's unanimous!

Turns out hitting the wall was enough to do you in, but thankfully you were saved by someone just in the nick of time as they carried you to the nearest place to get you taken care of. Sorry, but Drak's made it even now. You can tell it was him by the strange clammy fluid on your shirt and the season 1 disc set for school rumble beside you. At least you aren't dead. Plus you still have your wild card.
Groggily you look around trying to gather you bearings. Where exactly did he take you?

Vote (Real)
React for "Drak brought me to the nearest residence, which is owned by a standard town citizen. But boy do they own an awful lot of large kitchen knives..."
React for "For whatever reason he deposited me into a store nearby. Based on the the supplies and random assortment of refuse this must be some sort of alchemist?"
React for "He may be an anime zombie but he still knows that near dead people are to be dropped off in the parking lot of a hospital, so that's where I am... Hopefully not still in the parking lot."
React "I had some faith in Drak but now that he just cast a heal spell on me then dropped me in a dumpster I've lost the last shred of compassion I have for him."

drak is an immortal and has no understanding of "ho spit al"

drak is an immortal and has no understanding of "ho spit al"

Fuck, good catch. Changing my vote.

"For whatever reason he deposited me into a store nearby. Based on the the supplies and random assortment of refuse this must be some sort of alchemist?"
And you aren't kidding when you see so much strange stuff around on the shelves. Accessories, weapons, armor, rocks, plants, junk, trash, dolls, furniture, literally any kind of item decorates the store. And this is only the back room! Sitting up you hear some foot steps approaching from the door. Even if you wanted to run away you couldn't, there's only 1 window and it is too fat for your dumbass. As you await your captor you begin to wonder if your friends are ok...
The door opens to reveal a bright and perky looking young lady, dressed in an eccentric look with bottles and tools slung around her various belts and straps. Each step she takes makes a jingle of clinks as the items knock up against each other. Judging by the look on her face she's trying to be polite but looks a little wary of you. "Are you feeling ok? Your friend dropped you off here. It was a bit weird, he wouldn't get close to me, claiming I had cooties and would ruin his immersion. I think he was some sort of undead though so maybe it relates to that. Anyways, do you need anything?"
Wow, what a kind young woman. Are you scum enough to take advantage of this? There isn't much time to consider that when you feel a dark presence coming from behind her. A pressure of someone who knows how to fight, how to kill. It's warning you, do anything do this girl and you'll find yourself in the afterlife very soon. It's an unshakable feeling despite the much warmer presence in the door way.
Uh, Uhm. What do you need?

Vote
Vote for "Uh yeah, do you know where my friends are? I'd like to get back with them if possible. We can go from there?"
Vote for "Yes, can you tell me where this is and what's going on? I seem to have been knocked out and have no idea what happened."
Vote for "Actually I was looking for a kind young lady like yourself, do you think you could help me out? You see, I'm on a quest..."
Vote for "Something scummy, either robbery, assault, vandalism, or some mixture of the three."

Might as well get our bearings before anything else.

usually i like the most violent option but this time im gonna pick the option that most respects women

This post was last modified: Apr 5, 2020 at 11:40 AM by Snufferin Snagglepuss.

"Yes, can you tell me where this is and what's going on? I seem to have been knocked out and have no idea what happened."
How altruistic of you. Really earning that name of yours aren't you? Huh? You shoo those pesky thoughts out of your head.
"Oh! Yes of course, they're out in reading room enjoying some snacks we made. Would you like some?" Well you're trying to be polite so it would be rude to refuse. "Wait, we?" you voice without thinking much about it. "Yes, we." Says a voice behind the girl. It's stern, but soft and polite. As she scoots out of the doorway a taller figure walks through behind her. She's very lean, looks incredibly athletic, and holy MOLY does she have abs. She could probably beat you in an arm wrestling competition just by flexing in your direction. Yet despite her lean and mean body, she's got a mature and pleasant appeal to her. Apart from the death aura wafting in your direction she's quite the looker! The smile she gives off belies the simple message of "Touch this girl and you die." Alright, sounds like respecting women is in.
"Uh, yes I would like to meet up with them." You check yourself to make sure there aren't any lasting damages, movements which she takes notice of. "Oh you don't have to worry about any injuries. I brewed up an elixir to help you recuperate." The way she words it makes it sound like witch craft, but looking at her you feel she means something more scientific. "Don't worry though" she continues "the snacks are baked properly and with loving care!" Adorable. Well you don't want to keep your friends waiting so you get up, check your meager possessions, and move out into the larger room.
Out here is much more aesthetically appealing, with contraptions and glassware decorating counters and walls all over. A bubbling bucket(?) off to the side, some papers, and tons of different sorts of items displayed similar to a store. This must be some sort of business. The madman and E-kyl are relaxing at a small table, the former of which is nigh unrecognizable as he has been cleaned up, hair fixed, and is depressingly significantly more good looking than you. E-kyl is still E-kyl. Sitting yourself between the two you see the table is server with some fresh tea, crumbly cookies, and a few sandwiches. Helping yourself you try a few bites and they are indeed good. Good enough to heal your injuries to light (plus the medicine from earlier). The crazy guy combs through his hair with unprecedented style and gives you a confused look when you stare at him. "What, I have to look good for my selfie. People don't want to see the real garbage dump I am." ... Who? Whatever.
As you eat through some of the snacks and swap the short stories of what happened after hitting the wall, all of which were what you expected with only E-Kyl staying conscious long enough to see Drak carry you guys over, your duo of saviors approach the table having finished some paperwork on the desk and cleaned up some dishes. "So you three were kind of dropped off here in bad sorts. But the man who brought you hear was concerned for your well being so as a favor-" the petite one is interrupted by her muscle sister. "In return for never coming back here again with his smelly, slimy, grimy 'anemay' "treasures", we offered to make sure you came out ok." You have a good idea what would happen when someone like Drak met two very attractive women, especially with how confident and no nonsense one of them is. You decide not to press. The petite one picks back up. "So you don't need to worry about any payment or favors. If you need a little more rest we don't mind." The kindness from this one is light years beyond what someone as young as she looks should have. How many people have taken advantage of this flower. Wait, actually probably none because of the gorilla of justice next to her. "If you need anything let us know. We'll be just over there preparing for the business week tomorrow."
They begin to walk away, but did you want to say anything to them?

Vote
React for "Actually, I'm on a quest you see. Do you happen to have some more medicine maybe of a stronger type? My village would gladly correlate with you in business if you could help us out... Also.... My mom really needs it. (This is a quick end for those who want this to end around the 2 week mark.)
React for "Say nothing, and talk with my friends first. Once we understand what's going on better we can go from there. They've likely talked with the two about the current events around here."
React "Actually, we're new in town. Do you mind telling us a bit about what's around here and what we can expect to find? I'm looking for some help and a little glory on the side right now."
React for "There's nothing to be said. They're busy and I'm grateful, so I want to be a burden on them for as short as possible. Let's gather up and leave to explore on our own."

Partner Opinion
Madman: My name's Desp by the way, quit calling me mad.
E-Kyl: Let me finish my sandwich, it's good.

i would think that if we had two goals when setting out meeting one of them in a logical fashion but then continuing the adventure for the second objective would only make sense, so i think option 1 should be less of an end and more of 1 checkmark out of 2

but even if not option 1 is only right

This post was last modified: Apr 6, 2020 at 11:03 AM by Snufferin Snagglepuss.

"Actually, we're new in town. Do you mind telling us a bit about what's around here and what we can expect to find? I'm looking for some help and a little glory on the side right now."
"Oh, well. This is Reisenberg. It was founded a long while ago and is currently thriving quite well on the basis of economic success." starts the petite woman. "People with various skills flock here to sell their trade and/or make a name for themselves. Speaking of names, I'm Fyyr and this is Reva." She gestures to her companion. "We're sisters who came here from far away to sell the trade of alchemy." Fyyr cuts in, "Well I'm just the body guard, it's my cutie right here who does all of the work." They both smile at each other, showing that they've been doing this for a long while. Turning back to you Fyyr continues. "You can find many different kinds of establishments here. I'm not sure what kind of help you are looking for but I'm sure there's someone here who could lend you a hand. You might try the city hall and talk with the mayor, or perhaps the library to do some research on what your problem is. I know a few friends here too, the blacksmith and I get along very well so if you ever meet him you only have to mention my name." Fyyr continues on for a little while describing the town and its occupants. It seems they are quite loved and appreciated within these walls, solving many problems of various kinds for those who need it. By the time she finishes you've had a good while to think about what you will all do next.

Vote
React for "Well actually, you seem like one of the most capable and versatile people here. I could really use your help on getting some medicine. I don't have any money so I can offer a favor in return."
React for "I think I might visit the blacksmith like you suggested. It's a good idea to equip myself with some tools that are actually meant for adventuring. I doubt I'll get glory with just this pickax.
React for "The town hall is the most obvious place to start. Talk with the person in charge, get some behind the scenes info, they're sure to have something they need done!
React for "Studying and reading isn't something I got to do a lot in the village, and I somewhat enjoy it. Let's take it slow and start where all of the info is gathered, the Library."

Partner Opinion
Desp: "What's this wild card thing you have? Plan on using it?"
E-Kyl: "I finished my sandwich so I don't care where."

all right plan b
we go get a weapon and slay some monsters or something to make money to pay her for the medicine
that will accomplish both goals at once

"I think I might visit the blacksmith like you suggested. It's a good idea to equip myself with some tools that are actually meant for adventuring. I doubt I'll get glory with just this pickax."
"You're welcome to come back and visit us anytime. And don't forget to tell him I sent you!" The two of them wave you goodbye as your entourage leaves. Looking at the little paper she gave you it has a crude map on it. Well drawn, but simplistic. It shouldn't be too hard to follow directions from this. As your troop winds its way through town you're given quite the pleasant feeling of a boisterous and constructive city life. Granted you do feel a bit of homesickness for your more rural upbringing there is no denying that civilization has quite some perks. There's more businesses than you though feasible and some for skills that would never make a living in your village. Plus there's tons of people out and about with their daily lives, none of which seems to involve mining away all day. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two about this sometime.
After a healthy walk you begin to hear the clang of metal on metal to a rhythmic pattern. Likely indicative of a blacksmith one might say. Searching out the source of the sound with map in hand it's quite easy to find the short but wide establishment. Despite it's classic look on the outside, the inside has everything a metal worker would need, from forge to bellows. There's only one person inside, a tall man with no lack of muscles but not yet to the point where he becomes bulky. He's currently hammering away at what appears to be a high quality blade and is mildly engrossed. Since you have some extra time before (this garrison ends) he notices you, do you have anything in mind?

Vote
Vote for "There's nothing I would want to do and risk the consequences, let's just say hello like we were told."
Vote for "Well, I don't have any money still, so I don't think I can buy anything. Maybe I'll just pocket something small as assurance and then talk with him."
Vote for "Why stop at something small? Let's just take a few things we want then leave. He's literally here alone, there's three of us, he's not even looking!"
Vote for "He's got his back turned and no amount of muscle will stop a pickax from taking him down. We can loot this place at our leisure."

There are no partner opinions for this as only you have currently entered.

Well that isn't even an option list.

Now this is a spicy tie. I'll give it some more time.